Am I being unreasonable?

Paddy Cow

sopretty wrote: »

I suggested he sign up and even encouraged him to! He has a huge interest in GAA, history, rugby, horse racing for e.g. I was pointing out all these forums to him and trying to encourage him to sign up. I don't know whether he has joined or not. I have never hidden any behaviour online from him. The laptop and iphone is free for all and never hidden. I have now had to change my password on here, to prevent him having full access to what I say online. I asked him why it bothers him about me talking to someone who may be a man, and his only explanation seems to be that I shouldn't need to be talking to a man, when I have a man at home! :eek: Why would I want to be talking to another man?
Tried to explain that I don't know who I do be talking to. It's like talking to a wall. :mad:

You are absolutely right. On the internet you don't know whether or not you are talking to a man or a woman. I'm female but because of my username, most people assume that I'm a man. It has happened to me where I thought that someone was a particular gender for months and then I discover they are the opposite!

Your boyfriend shouldn't have been afraid of boards. One of the best aspects about this place is that we can discuss something with a bunch of strangers without preconceived notions of what is appropriate to say to them. So often in real life we filter what we say based on someones age, gender, race etc but here we discuss things with everyone being on an equal standing. It's a shame that your boyfriend couldn't appreciate this, but that is his problem.

His mantra that "you have a man at home so shouldn't need to talk to other men" is nonsense. On a more serious note, not only is it nonsense but it is a tactic used by certain people to control others and make them feel like they are doing something wrong by seeking contact outside of the relationship. If you had low self esteem, you would have probably given in to him and apologised. Thankfully you have the self esteem and awareness to know that it is his behaviour and not yours that is unreasonable.

In a way I feel sorry for your ex. He can never experience a full and healthy relationship as long as he wants to control the person he is with. You have seen how his behaviour is unreasonable and decided to get out. Fair play to you for having the foresight to do so and I wish you the best in the future