To turn my back on the family farm

Stinicker

This is something I have often thought about and it has a strangle hold on my life and has been destroying me for years.

I am 27 now and I know very little about farming, I live in Kerry and my father owns our family farm and he farms it, he has been farming it since he was 13 years of age, he is 63 now and has been farming for over 50 years. His father was very ill throughout his life and as the eldest son he had to step up and run things with the help of his siblings. His father eventually died and ownership passed to his mother.

He continued farming it for her as she was by now elderly but he never got 1 penny out of that farm until his mother eventually died back in 2008. When I was 18 a few years prior to my grandmothers death my mother and I forced my father into getting his mother to make the will because despite my father working the farm since he was a child she had no intention of ever sharing money with him and wanted to give everything to his sister who was the favorite of my grandmother.

My grandmother got a stroke in 2008 and eventually died and when the will was read my father had inherited the family farm but my grandmother had left the proceeds of 50 years of farming to my aunt and we reckon she grabbed several hundred thousand euro.

So now my father has the family farm and I am the only son and I have one sister. I grew up away from the family farm and I know nothing about sheep farming as it is a sheep farm. I never helped my father on the farm as a child and I never went when I was a teenager as my mother would always say, you are only making money for the sister in England and she was ultimately proven right.

I don't help my father now because I have very little interest in sheep farming, and anytime I ever do we always end up having a huge row and there has been fists thrown over it before. I feel it is a total waste of time really despite this I know I will inherit the farm but like history repeating itself I am more concerned with the money, my father is a wealthy man and prior to inheriting the family farm he worked full time all his life in a good paying job and retired from it 3 years ago to concentrate on the farm and also as he was getting a work pension and huge lump sum to retire. He will get the contributory old age pension in a few years also and this man is not short of money.

I have fought so often with him over that place that it has deeply fractured our father/son relationship. I left school early and never qualified with anything and only worked in one job in a hotel for a summer and that was 6 years ago. I have spent all my adult life for the last 9 years unemployed and drawing the dole.

This farm should be mine and let me decide what to do with it. I would never sell it but I will not farm it either, my plan is to plant it as I have no attachment but my father has said he will not sign it over to me because planting land he thinks is some kind of crime against humanity, this is the mentality of the man. The farm is very valuable with its mountain and fields and contains several hundred acres. Couple this to the entitlements and the houses my father owns along with money in the bank and he is a multimillionaire.

I am the only son and if my father dies first I will inherit everything because my mother will give my sister nothing because her partner is an alcoholic and she is wasting her life with him, I will inherit the land and property but I'm afraid my mother could my sister his money and already last year my mother and I put up a huge battle to stop him buying a house for her, her boyfriend has plenty money as he is a farmer himself but is a raging alcoholic and pisses his money away so we managed to stop him buying the house for them.

Now he wants me to do a Green Cert and I really don't know what to do because I don't know if his intentions are genuine or not, he says he will sign the place over to me when he turns 66 and gets his third pension because he is short of stamps as he worked in the civil service and they did not count towards the OAP.

I myself live at home with the parents and just have my dole to survive on as I left school early and have no trades or skills. I never got an education and this has really damaged my prospects.

I am now seriously thinking of going to Australia as a friend of mine there could get me a construction labouring job with good wages and even though I hardly know a shovel from a pickaxe I'd definitely like to try it. However if I go I'm afraid I will ultimately loose out in the long run.

Land and Wealth Vs. Adventure & Opportunity.

jetfiremuck

My suggestion is to go to Aus, spend some time getting perspective. Travel always broadens the mind. Makes no sense fighting within the family as the and and money has tainted relationships. I your father is healthy etc the tw years abroad should ge you sorted.

Value Hunter

Go to Australia, you need to learn to stand on your own two feet.

9 years on the dole is ridiculous, putting it down to a lack of education or training is no excuse. What were you doing on the dole during the boom?? Don't mean to be harsh but I think your problem is having no work ethic more than anything else. How many training courses did you take up during these 9 years? How many night classes, how many internships, work experiences etc etc.

You also seem to begrudge your father being a wealthy man, from your post he comes across as an extremely hard working man.

You also have a great sense of entitlement! Declaring this farm should be yours to do with as you please. Your not the one who put five decades of work into it.

You've being living under your fathers roof as an adult for 9 years, most likely without contributing financially, and won't even help him do the work on the farm. What do you do on a typical day?

You've had a charmed life

Liverpool23 years

You've only worked once in 6 years? You live at home and don't help your old man on the farm? Are you for real?what makes you say you are entitled to the farm??

jayod30

Sounds like a whole load of bullsh1t if you ask me. My 3 yr old could've wrote something more believable

donegal11

How have you gotten 9 years dole without even being pushed into some sort of scheme/education.Australia sounds great but as you appear to be very workshy, how do you think you'll cut it on a busy building site.

With regards the farm as soon as you inherit say goodbye to your dole. But what's to say if you don't inherit soon and your sister has a child that your father wouldn't leave it to them?

It's sad that theres so many young men wanting to get into farming and someone who has no interest inheriting a large chunk of countryside:(. But in fairness if you have no involvement with farming/lived on farm what does your father expect.

Bodacious

this is not real and if it were the only man id be feeling sorry for would be the dad.. bitch of a mother, son a complete loser and a lifetime of work going down the drain

donegal11

Bodacious wrote: »

this is not real and if it were the only man id be feeling sorry for would be the dad.. bitch of a mother, son a complete loser and a lifetime of work going down the drain

He got the farm ahead of all other siblings. The mother knew he was well of and didn't leave every penny to him is fair enough. Anyway accumulating an apparent several hundred thousand euro as a widowed sheep/hill farmer is quiet an achievement:eek:.

royalmeath

9 years on the dole
You sound like a top class lad.
Fist fights with your father
You are either suffering from depression or your a lazy brat.
Im not going to suggest you move to Oz because they generally
take people who are willing to work, but you could get off your ars
and get yourself a job anywhere in Ireland and move away from home.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

biddy2013

Stinicker wrote: »

This is something I have often thought about and it has a strangle hold on my life and has been destroying me for years.

I am 27 now and I know very little about farming, I live in Kerry

So now my father has the family farm and I am the only son and I have one sister.



This farm should be mine and let me decide what to do with it. I would never sell it but I will not farm it either, The farm is very valuable with its mountain and fields and contains several hundred acres. Couple this to the entitlements and the houses my father owns along with money in the bank and he is a multimillionaire.

I am the only son and if my father dies first I will inherit everything because my mother will give my sister nothing because her partner is an alcoholic and she is wasting her life with him, I will inherit the land and property but I'm afraid my mother could my sister his money and already last year my mother and I put up a huge battle to stop him buying a house for her, her boyfriend has plenty money as he is a farmer himself but is a raging alcoholic and pisses his money away so we managed to stop him buying the house for them.

Now he wants me to do a Green Cert and I really don't know what to do because I don't know if his intentions are genuine or not, he says he will sign the place over to me when he turns 66 and gets his third pension because he is short of stamps as he worked in the civil service and they did not count towards the OAP.

I myself live at home with the parents and just have my dole to survive on as I left school early and have no trades or skills. I never got an education and this has really damaged my prospects.

I am now seriously thinking of going to Australia as a friend of mine there could get me a construction labouring job with good wages and even though I hardly know a shovel from a pickaxe I'd definitely like to try it. However if I go I'm afraid I will ultimately loose out in the long run.

Land and Wealth Vs. Adventure & Opportunity.

So your father worked everyday and eventually got the farm, you do nothing and assume the farm is yours:eek::eek:

TITANIUM.

Stinicker wrote: »

This is something I have often thought about and it has a strangle hold on my life and has been destroying me for years.

I am 27 now and I know very little about farming, I live in Kerry and my father owns our family farm and he farms it, he has been farming it since he was 13 years of age, he is 63 now and has been farming for over 50 years. His father was very ill throughout his life and as the eldest son he had to step up and run things with the help of his siblings. His father eventually died and ownership passed to his mother.

He continued farming it for her as she was by now elderly but he never got 1 penny out of that farm until his mother eventually died back in 2008. When I was 18 a few years prior to my grandmothers death my mother and I forced my father into getting his mother to make the will because despite my father working the farm since he was a child she had no intention of ever sharing money with him and wanted to give everything to his sister who was the favorite of my grandmother.

My grandmother got a stroke in 2008 and eventually died and when the will was read my father had inherited the family farm but my grandmother had left the proceeds of 50 years of farming to my aunt and we reckon she grabbed several hundred thousand euro.

So now my father has the family farm and I am the only son and I have one sister. I grew up away from the family farm and I know nothing about sheep farming as it is a sheep farm. I never helped my father on the farm as a child and I never went when I was a teenager as my mother would always say, you are only making money for the sister in England and she was ultimately proven right.

I don't help my father now because I have very little interest in sheep farming, and anytime I ever do we always end up having a huge row and there has been fists thrown over it before. I feel it is a total waste of time really despite this I know I will inherit the farm but like history repeating itself I am more concerned with the money, my father is a wealthy man and prior to inheriting the family farm he worked full time all his life in a good paying job and retired from it 3 years ago to concentrate on the farm and also as he was getting a work pension and huge lump sum to retire. He will get the contributory old age pension in a few years also and this man is not short of money.

I have fought so often with him over that place that it has deeply fractured our father/son relationship. I left school early and never qualified with anything and only worked in one job in a hotel for a summer and that was 6 years ago. I have spent all my adult life for the last 9 years unemployed and drawing the dole.

This farm should be mine and let me decide what to do with it. I would never sell it but I will not farm it either, my plan is to plant it as I have no attachment but my father has said he will not sign it over to me because planting land he thinks is some kind of crime against humanity, this is the mentality of the man. The farm is very valuable with its mountain and fields and contains several hundred acres. Couple this to the entitlements and the houses my father owns along with money in the bank and he is a multimillionaire.

I am the only son and if my father dies first I will inherit everything because my mother will give my sister nothing because her partner is an alcoholic and she is wasting her life with him, I will inherit the land and property but I'm afraid my mother could my sister his money and already last year my mother and I put up a huge battle to stop him buying a house for her, her boyfriend has plenty money as he is a farmer himself but is a raging alcoholic and pisses his money away so we managed to stop him buying the house for them.

Now he wants me to do a Green Cert and I really don't know what to do because I don't know if his intentions are genuine or not, he says he will sign the place over to me when he turns 66 and gets his third pension because he is short of stamps as he worked in the civil service and they did not count towards the OAP.

I myself live at home with the parents and just have my dole to survive on as I left school early and have no trades or skills. I never got an education and this has really damaged my prospects.

I am now seriously thinking of going to Australia as a friend of mine there could get me a construction labouring job with good wages and even though I hardly know a shovel from a pickaxe I'd definitely like to try it. However if I go I'm afraid I will ultimately loose out in the long run.

Land and Wealth Vs. Adventure & Opportunity.

This tool has to be rising us guys. Don't think there's a dole merchant bum in the country as thick or as detached from reality as this gob****. Has to be a wind up.

Flippyfloppy

'To turn my back on the family farm'


Erm, you did that way back when, when you never helped your father out with the farm.

augustus gloop

the dole for 9 years and living at home with mammy??
and yet you won't even lift a finger to help your ageing father on the farm he worked all his life on?
AND now you want to swan off to Oz?
you need a good kick in the hole me boy!!
grow up!

7ofBrian

On the dole 9 years? You're not fit to make tea on a building site!

7ofBrian

On the dole 9 years? You're not fit to make tea on a building site!

Zoo4m8

TITANIUM. wrote: »

This tool has to be rising us guys. Don't think there's a dole merchant bum in the country as thick or as detached from reality as this gob****. Has to be a wind up.

Absobloodylutly! Leave him to it.....:mad:

moy83

The alco thats motoring your sister will be off the drink soon and your father is going to leave the farm to them , I just know it

Timmaay

Zoo4m8 wrote: »

Absobloodylutly! Leave him to it.....:mad:

I'd tend to agree, however I'll remain open minded, it possibly is the voice of a very depressed person, in which case us blasting him will do zero help. Anyways if it is, then I recommend you go to a councillor or your local GP etc asap. And finally, the most suitable quote in this case, and lets face it we all have had moments in life where we have thought why me etc, "The world owes you nothing, it was here first", and this strikes true in this case.

bbam

In fairness every parish has a lad like this.
Best thing is off to OZ and do a bit if labouring.

I find these lads swiftly return home with an appetite to work their farms to ensure their enheritance as it's only then they realise how much their fathers are doing in setting them up with a good business.

munkus

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057122026/1/#post88403180

This lad's full of ****. Funny what a run through previous posts turns up. Hope the iPhone is going well and nice to see you've travelled the world. Did ya put that 25 grand into the Swiss bank account?

Honestly didn't know 9 years on the dole paid that well.

EamonKilkenny

Somebody has just leaked the script to Emmerdale I think!

tanko

The OP is full of SH*T. Had a quick look at his posting history, for a lad that has never worked in his life he has done some amount of travelling all over the world. He also said that he hoped France would beat Ireland in the rugby.

If I was your father I know what I'd be doing and it wouldn't involve giving you a farm of land.

Edit. Munkus got there before me.

shamrock55

Id burn the ****ing farm to the ground before id let you have it lad

Mac Taylor

Anyone see Walter mitty recently. This lad could give him a run for his money.

mf240

Well in fairness op when it comes to trolling you are fairly thorough, you got in all the buzz words, long term dole planting land selling farm ect.

I also notice your have "dumbed down" your writing style compared to your other posts, a nice touch if I may say.

Good effort, well done.

moy83

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

Very true, and all too common. I can also empathise with the situation as it's not a million miles from my own. I busted my a55 buying and building up both a farm and a business, literally worked 18 hours a day for nigh on 20 years. I have 2 sons, neither of whom would know where the field boundaries lie. The eldest works in the business I established but it's only the size of my fists that keeps him from sleeping 24-7 to be honest. The youngest is too young yet but appears to be a bit more of a goer. Neither of them is bound to either the farm or the business, they can do as they please afaiac, but 9 years doing nothing?? Not happening.

OP, you're lucky you have a more relaxed father than my kids do - you'd be drawing disability, not the dole if it was me you had to face every morning, bad as that will sound to some. My sympathies go to your father, who sounds like he's had it rough from the start and has had to tolerate a lot. You need to get off your ar5e OP and start working on some of your responsibilities and less of your entitlements. And if the OP is bull, well there you go.

Will you ever decide to just cut the oldest lad out of your business if he is not inclined to muck in ? My younger brother is lazy as sin around the farm and TBH I dont know how the father hasnt burst him from some of the cheek he gets back when he asks him to do something .

I have two young lads myself but dont think I'd bring them to work with me if it could be helped , it will be interesting to see how they pan out though !

Stavros Murphy

moy83 wrote: »

Will you ever decide to just cut the oldest lad out of your business if he is not inclined to muck in ? My younger brother is lazy as sin around the farm and TBH I dont know how the father hasnt burst him from some of the cheek he gets back when he asks him to do something .

I have two young lads myself but dont think I'd bring them to work with me if it could be helped , it will be interesting to see how they pan out though !

See, it's hard when it's your own family. I employ almost the whole family at this stage, and mostly, it's fine, as I'd be fairly strong-minded and don't entertain guff of any sort tbh, but the only thing getting him up in the mornings is the pay-check and the fact he'd get the hair-dryer from me if he didn't. It's not really what you'd call enthusiasm. As he starts to get more financially secure, that will be when things turn out one way or the other. I've no interest in feathering the nest of someone who is going to be a waster. Time will tell.

onyerbikepat

It's a very well put together piece, grammar-wise, puntuation etc, for a guy with very little education.

jim-mcdee

I feel sorry for your dad. If I was him, I would give leave the farm to a charity in my will. And if this is a wind up, I feel sorry for you. Sad either way.

whitebriar

I thought it was a hijacked account until I read this post... From 3 years ago.


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=71495904

It could still be a hijacked account,but I doubt it.
I'd suggest the op talks to his father but I'm afraid if there's been 15 yrs of no responsibility and laziness ,it's likely to go on that way.
It will be so ingrained that he won't change sadly.
I'd imagine Australia would be a disaster,if there's no work ethic.
Penny less in Sydney wouldn't be pretty.

I'd appeal to the op to Cop on ,his life is not fully ruined , only semi ruined yet.
Get up off your arse and change it.
Somehow I feel this will fall on deaf ears.

Farmer Pudsey

whitebriar wrote: »

I thought it was a hijacked account until I read this post... From 3 years ago.


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=71495904

It could still be a hijacked account,but I doubt it.
I'd suggest the op talks to his father but I'm afraid if there's been 15 yrs of no responsibility and laziness ,it's likely to go on that way.
It will be so ingrained that he won't change sadly.
I'd imagine Australia would be a disaster,if there's no work ethic.
Penny less in Sydney wouldn't be pretty.

I'd appeal to the op to Cop on ,his life is not fully ruined , only semi ruined yet.
Get up off your arse and change it.
Somehow I feel this will fall on deaf ears.

OP until this post I taught it was definatly a troll. Not sure now. You come across as a lazy git that his mother spoiled. At least you sisters husband sound even if he is an alacholic that he is willing to work.

So your grandmother decided to leave a few hundred K to an aunt in England. Your father worked his ass off all his life. Hopefully he lives well into his 90's. This will make you nearly sixty. Just think how much of your life you will have wasted waiting for you so called entitlement hmmm sorry inheritance.

Hopefully at that stage a son of your sister will have worked himself into your fathers esteem and he gets the land. I have seen the likes of this before and it never ends the way you want.