How do you deal with aggressive behavior from kids in public?

Pat Mustard

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Ringing doorbells and running away is also normal behaviour for a child.

I had this before. Heard the doorbell, thought it was Airtricity back to inform me about their amazing offers again, so I ignored it as usual. Saw some youngfella sprinting away from the door. I had to stretch my neck so far that I almost had to get off the couch. I could see him and some other youngfellas hiding behind a wall, expectantly, hoping for me to answer the door in confusion. So I didn't bother.

They may have tried it again, but if they did, they were ignored again. They got bored and went away.

I think that Airtricity eventually got the message. :pac:

santana75

Deleted User wrote: »

I think he is trying to suggest that the OP is presenting an apocraphl story in an attempt to portray himself as the hard man who stood up to a gang of scumbags.

I cant legislate for how people interpret what I wrote, thats up to the them, all I know is the story I told is exactly how things played themselves out on the day.

beauf wrote: »

Tend to agree. Normal mob of kids.

Scumbag behavior is a lot more serious.

See this is the thing. We cant see the woods for the trees. Its not normal kid behaviour, the only thing thats been normalised is our reaction to what goes on. I lived in germany for 2 years and not once did I encounter anything like you see on the streets in dublin. The German kids seem to have this innate respect for themselves and each other. I was walking by the national basketball arena one time and there was a bunch of Irish kids who were at some event or something and they were chucking rocks at joggers passing by and abusing people out walking their dogs. A few days later I passed the same arena but this time there were a group of kids who were obviously foreign(middle eastern I think) and the vibe was totally different. They were laughing and playing amongst themselves in a very respectful way, not bothering anybody around them.
We just dismiss kids acting disgracefully as "kids being kids" but thats not whats going on, they're behaving like animals, worse than animals and we just ignore it or dismiss the behaviour as normal. Its not normal. The way those middle eastern kids were interacting with each other and people around them was normal, what goes on here a lot of the time isnt.

Standman

It's a two way street. I know there are a lot of scumbag teens around, but a lot of people seem to be threatened by teens in general and always assume they are up to no good. The OP states he heard a bang behind him and then saw some sheepish looking teens, then automatically goes on the offensive when it could have just been a ball gone astray.

When I was a teenager I was victim of this myself. Once me and a friend were out walking his dog around the estate, all of a sudden some stray dog comes running up and barking like mad at my friends dog. We tried to shoo it away but it wouldn't stop so we just kept walking trying to ignore it. All of a sudden some guy comes out of one of the houses and runs up to my friend and gets in his face yelling "what the f*ck are you doing to my dog" and head butts him, grabs his dog and walks off shouting curses. Luckily it hit my friends forehead and he wasn't seriously injured. This guy was about twice our age. We were seriously shook but I had become used to being presumed guilty for no reason by adults at that stage.

People seem to sit in their houses getting all worked up about "out of control teens" and as soon as they see some teenagers then the slap that label on them without giving it any thought. The estate I lived in was by no means a rough neighbourhood, but there was a serious lack of community spirit and there was a really sour "us vs them" attitude with a lot of people. I think if people were quicker to get together and find a positive way to interact with the local youth rather than viewing them with suspicion and apprehension then a lot of these incidents would be avoided.

beauf

santana75 wrote: »

.... I lived in germany for 2 years and not once did I encounter anything like you see on the streets in dublin....

The graffiti is better over there too.

Galwayguy35

Been in this situation myself, I was going into Xtra Vision but these 2 young fellas (bout 15 I'd say) were blocking the way in, "sorry there lads" says I but no way would they move.

I asked them would they let me pass and after a few seconds of staring me down moved one side while muttering "fook you bitch".

Although my blood was boiling they didn't lay hands on me so I found ignoring them was the best policy.

Grayfoxy

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Been in this situation myself, I was going into Xtra Vision but these 2 young fellas (bout 15 I'd say) were blocking the way in, "sorry there lads" says I but no way would they move.

I asked them would they let me pass and after a few seconds of staring me down moved one side while muttering "fook you bitch".

Although my blood was boiling they didn't lay hands on me so I found ignoring them was the best policy.

But in fairness, you lost a few seconds of your life due to these ill mannered toe rags, and fair play for not reacting, it does actually take a lot, I personally don't have time for it so I would (and have) taken the steam roller approach.

santana75

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Been in this situation myself, I was going into Xtra Vision but these 2 young fellas (bout 15 I'd say) were blocking the way in, "sorry there lads" says I but no way would they move.

I asked them would they let me pass and after a few seconds of staring me down moved one side while muttering "fook you bitch".

Although my blood was boiling they didn't lay hands on me so I found ignoring them was the best policy.

Grayfoxy wrote: »

But in fairness, you lost a few seconds of your life due to these ill mannered toe rags, and fair play for not reacting, it does actually take a lot, I personally don't have time for it so I would (and have) taken the steam roller approach.

I see both sides of this argument. So many times I've read stories in the papers of adults being charged or taken to court for assaulting teenagers. Its like the law is falling over itself to protect kids but at the same time if you're an adult and you stand up for yourself you're running the risk of getting arrested or some form of legal action being taken against you. Its like kids are free to abuse whoever they want but as an adult you're expected to just walk away and ignore them. Im not saying for things to go back to the way they were back in the days of corporal punishment, I mean I was in school at the tail end of that and we got the **** beat out of us by some of our teachers(a few genuine psychopaths for sure). That was overkill, but I think we've gone to the other extreme now were it seems like theres this fear of disciplining kids or at the very least making them take responsible for their acions, some sort of consequences for anti-social behaviour. At the moment its like the law and how society views things is heavily slanted in favour of kids and as an adult you dont really have any comeback if you're verbally or physically abused on the street.

Grayfoxy

santana75 wrote: »

I see both sides of this argument. So many times I've read stories in the papers of adults being charged or taken to court for assaulting teenagers. Its like the law is falling over itself to protect kids but at the same time if you're an adult and you stand up for yourself you're running the risk of getting arrested or some form of legal action being taken against you. Its like kids are free to abuse whoever they want but as an adult you're expected to just walk away and ignore them. Im not saying for things to go back to the way they were back in the days of corporal punishment, I mean I was in school at the tail end of that and we got the **** beat out of us by some of our teachers(a few genuine psychopaths for sure). That was overkill, but I think we've gone to the other extreme now were it seems like theres this fear of disciplining kids or at the very least making them take responsible for their acions, some sort of consequences for anti-social behaviour. At the moment its like the law and how society views things is heavily slanted in favour of kids and as an adult you dont really have any comeback if you're verbally or physically abused on the street.

Correct, that is exactly the way it is, the reason we are supposed to turn, walk away and ignore it is because we are supposed to be "mature" in comparison to the kids. But to be honest, as I said, I don't stand for it, furthermore, I would turn my back on these kids as quick as I would on someone trying to mug me with a knife, not a chance! They are unpredictable, and I wouldn't risk taking my eyes off them.

Cyclepath

What most teenagers fear most is social interaction outside their comfort zone. They operate within quite a narrow set of rules. They are less likely to interact with an obviously mentally ill person for example.

<mod snip>

Obviously I'm jesting (somewhat) but if your body language speaks confidence, you are less likely to get crap. Packs of young lads can smell fear and even the slightest hesitation or doubt on your part is what gives them an 'in'.

One of my favourite techniques is to make eye contact with the alpha male and actually veer imperceptibly toward him. all the better if your elbow clips him as you pass etc. And do not look back - all the better if you're wearing earphones as you therefore can't possibly have heard a taunt and shown weakness by not responding...

hernie

When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

OP, so when are you movin?

Pawwed Rig

mod note - Cyclepath no advocating illegal activities.

Flimbos

I've seen a couple of incidents like this. I was walking down the street recently, and a group of lads were sitting on a wall. I noticed they threw a bottle of water at a person ahead of me. I walked on, and think they may have thrown a bottle at me, but they missed, so I ignored them and kept walking.

If something happens that you think warrants calling the Gardaí, I think phoning the local station and asking for the Community Garda is the best approach. The normal Guards may not be bothered with the local youths, but the Community Garda is much better suited in this situation, as it's their job to prevent anti-social behaviour.

Middle Man

The way I look at it is this:

Today's teenagers seem to want more autonomy and don't like being told what to do. Ok fair enough, but that should come with increased legal self-responsibility for any harmful actions upon members of the public or their property. If they want to be treated like adults, then they should behave like adults and face up to responsibility like adults.

It's a two way street!

Bananatop

santana75 wrote: »

He looked scared

You should have kicked the ball back, story would have ended there. It would have been much harder for to you to be gracious if he'd come at you with an attitude though.

Mr Viking

I have had similar experiences with antisocial behaviour in the estate where I live mainly from a bunch of lads maybe 14/15 years of age. They are never accountable for the abusive language, noise, disregard for others property etc and any one who dares challenge them is intimidated. I have to praise the people who have posted here and can rise above it but I wouldnt be that tolerant or patient. Its ok to say there the kids and your the adult but I think there should be some accountability.

Im not so sure that a return to the days of corporal punishment would be a bad thing and I have said as much before on other boards forums and threads. I know for sure that when I was a kid if my ole lad had have caught me up to some of the antics that have been described here, off would have come his belt and I would have got a good hiding. This might not be very pc today but I think it would have some impact on tackling the scourge of teenage antisocial behaviour.

kryogen

Not exactly old myself, (28) but I have begun to walk home from work to help with my overall excercise and health upkeep and notice lots of anti social behavior in the evenings alright. From kids hanging around in a park I pass drinking and often shouting abuse at strangers/whoever to groups of young lads with hoods up hanging around at corners and alleys, fights, people clearly off their heads on drugs.

I wouldnt say I have felt intimidated myself as of yet, but I do notice older people and parents with a young child often crossing the street or changing their path to avoid them, I think thats sad and its not like its late at night, I am often passing through that part about 7pm (takes me about 25-30minutes to walk home) People should be able to walk the streets, take the dog out, take the kids out without fear or feeling threatened at that hour.

I have been attacked twice on the way home now, both times in the same place, its like a slip road, not much lighting and very quiet and more like an alley then a road but it does shave about 20 minutes off my walk! Both times its just been an attempted mugging I think, the first time it was 2 lads, the second time 1 thankfully. I am not Rocky but I can look after myself and normally these guys arent up to much unless there is a pack. No real fight to speak of either time, the two lads tried to rip my laptop bag off me, I swung and connected with one of them and they ran off, the second time the guy took a swing at me and caught me on the jaw I responded with aggression and he backed off too and legged it, he had the distinct air of a junkie about him, but couldnt have been older then 16-17

I have obviously been lucky so far, but I grew up in what would be called a rougher area and a few punches wouldnt worry me, its the threat of a knife these days I think, they think nothing of stabbing nowadays and the huge worry is a junkie sticking you with a needle obviously. When I was growing up there would be trouble of course, but the worst it got was a few digs most of the time, these days it seems to escalate a lot quicker and the regard for other peoples lives seems to be a lot less.

---

That is mainly about the actual scumbag youngsters around, didnt mean to go off on such a tangent/ramble. Normally the groups of teenagers I come across are just messing around, like most of us were as kids, not much to do in the evenings but hang around with your friends, kick a ball around, impress the girls etc

I find that if you have the right attitude when coming into contact with them, as in keeping things lighter instead of becoming confrontational and making the situation a serious one it is fine, nothing to worry about. If they actively try to intimidate just make them aware you are not and to stop being so silly, that there is no need for any aggro and try to go about your business.

4th horsemen

Kids get away with to much these days and are afraid of f...k all as there is not much to deter them from doing anything, i.e. punishment. So they do what they like and most people put up with it or get victimized by it and only a small proportion would do something about it.
These kids need a good slap to put some manners on them and make them respect others instead of bullying others.
Not all kids of course, and kicking a ball is not the most serious thing in the world but is annoying and to some it's intimidating especially, the whole: 5 lads appeared from around the corner and now there were 15, which makes some people fearfull and that's not on.
Kids have nothing to do and to much social media to mess their heads.

Grayfoxy

Kryogen,

I enjoyed your post, I would have been in a similar situation growing up, in that you grew up in a rough area and would have an opinion of "it happens", when I say that, (it shouldn't), but does. And yep, people do cross the road to avoid it, and I find it sickening that parents have to worry about their childs safety when walking home. In fairness, people cross the street when they see me because of my tattoo's and piercings, and I find it sad that people pre-judge, but in the case of doing it to avoid a group of kids, I think it is the right choice.

You are 100% right, if they are acting the maggot and you confront them, the only way I can describe it is, they act like a snails eye after poking it, they back down incredibly fast most of the time.

As one of the other posters on page 3 mentioned, I seriously don't think the days of corporal punishment being reintroduced is a bad thing, it is like the meme says, "when I was bold as a child, I was slapped, I now suffer from an illness known as respect for others", funny, but true. My parents smacked me when I was bold. I never (even once) was drinking in a park or street corner when I was a teen, I never harassed random passers by when I was in a friends garden. But this is a big problem nowadays, and unfortunately, there are not enough people who have the confidence to stand up to kids like this.

And, I am sorry, but to all the people here that are just saying "walk on and ignore it", that is just ignorant and silly, ignoring it is silent approval and giving them the "ok" to continue. We need more people to stand up to these little s**ts.

Wow, I just realized I am giving out about troublesome teens........ I feel old

santana75

Grayfoxy wrote: »

And, I am sorry, but to all the people here that are just saying "walk on and ignore it", that is just ignorant and silly, ignoring it is silent approval and giving them the "ok" to continue. We need more people to stand up to these little s**ts.

Yeah I think so. Its a real problem that needs to be tackled head on. But what you get is dismissive comments and attitudes like, its just kids being kids or just ignore them and walk away. But if you do that it encourages the anti-social behaviour even further.
I was talking to a friend who I hadnt seen in a while yesterday and he was telling me he may have to go for surgery on his nose which was broken a few weeks ago. I didnt know he had broken his nose, I assumed he'd had a fall or was playing football but when I asked he said that some bloke had head butted him. What happened was my friend had caught a few kids trying to rob his wheely bin(they were going to burn it in a field). There was 3 of them, 2 got away but he managed to grab one of them and hold onto him while he called the gardai. But while he was waiting for the Gardai to show a car pulls up outside his house, a gang of blokes got out who were in their late 20s/30s. One of them shouts something about letting the kid go to my friend (who didnt even have a hold of the kid at this point) and then proceeded to head butt him viscously. My friend lost consciousness a bit and the gang just got in the car and drove off. Now he has to get an OP on his nose thats gonna cost in the region of 6000. The Gardai never showed up by the way.

Something needs to be done because this is going on all the time and it barely gets a mention. All we hear about is asturity, negative equity, the rising cost of health insurance etc. I think so long as it doesnt happen to them directly most people will dismiss this behaviour as kids being kids.

Mr Viking

santana75 wrote: »

Yeah I think so. Its a real problem that needs to be tackled head on. But what you get is dismissive comments and attitudes like, its just kids being kids or just ignore them and walk away. But if you do that it encourages the anti-social behaviour even further.
I was talking to a friend who I hadnt seen in a while yesterday and he was telling me he may have to go for surgery on his nose which was broken a few weeks ago. I didnt know he had broken his nose, I assumed he'd had a fall or was playing football but when I asked he said that some bloke had head butted him. What happened was my friend had caught a few kids trying to rob his wheely bin(they were going to burn it in a field). There was 3 of them, 2 got away but he managed to grab one of them and hold onto him while he called the gardai. But while he was waiting for the Gardai to show a car pulls up outside his house, a gang of blokes got out who were in their late 20s/30s. One of them shouts something about letting the kid go to my friend (who didnt even have a hold of the kid at this point) and then proceeded to head butt him viscously. My friend lost consciousness a bit and the gang just got in the car and drove off. Now he has to get an OP on his nose thats gonna cost in the region of 6000. The Gardai never showed up by the way.

Something needs to be done because this is going on all the time and it barely gets a mention. All we hear about is asturity, negative equity, the rising cost of health insurance etc. I think so long as it doesnt happen to them directly most people will dismiss this behaviour as kids being kids.

I have to agree with you there! It seems to be a problem that is really played down in society today admid all the other problems the country has seen in the last few years with austerity, unemployment etc people don't perceive antisocial behaviour in teenagers as a real problem that needs to be dealt with. In your friends case it probably wouldn't have mattered a hoot if the gardai had to have shown up as they would have been powerless to do anything anyway or these yobs wouldn't have paid any heed to them!
I certainly don't think ignoring this behaviour or turning the other cheek is the right thing to do. The problem needs to be tackled now and tackled head on and a lot of parents need to be taking accountability for what there kids are getting up to. As I said earlier although it's not popular in the modern world, I really feel that corporal punishment had its place in the past. There's no argument you wouldn't have been as likely to act the maggot if you knew you would get a leathering from your folks if you were found out!

Paulway

The most effective thing you can do is to get to know here names. Teenage boys/girls in a group somehow feel invisible when you don't know here names. When you can say, "David, whats going on, who kicked the ball...?" its very different from saying "Lads, who kicked the ball..."