How do you deal with aggressive behavior from kids in public?

santana75

This is something I've noticed that happens a lot but doesnt seem to be discussed at all. For example I was coming back from the shops the other day when I hear this thump behind me. I looked around and there was this group of young fellas/sumbags looking all sheepish. There were about 8 of them, ranging in ages from about 14 -18. You know the type, Gilets, tracksuit bottoms tucked into white socks, they all literally looked the same.
I walked on for a bit but then I went back and had a look in a garden close by and sure enough there was a football. I jumped over the wall and got the ball. I approached the group and one of them came towards me, he was telling me to kick the ball back to him. I said to him, c'mere I wanna talk to you. He looked scared, turned away and went back to the group. When I got right up to them another 5 lads came around the corner. So now it was me and about 13 of them. There was an exchange of words between me and a few of them, I wanted to know if it was an accident and of course nobody was owning up to kicking the ball at me. So I turned and walked away but I still had their ball. They were shouting at me to give them their ball back, I just ignored them and kept walking. Then the guy who owned the ball was moaning and I told him to come talk to me by himself. No way was his response and he ran back to the group. So then they follow me and im surrounded by them all. One guy leading the pack, but I looked him in the eye and I could tell he was scared, which is probably the most dangerous state to be in. ANyway I kicked their ball over a wall and told them to go get it bitches. And that was it. Now obviosuly they weren't hardcore scumbags because I'd probably be dead
but Im a bit annoyed about the whole thing, I've seen incidents like this play themselves out in public before. I've seen people being intimadated and attacked by groups of kids on the luas. I've seen people out jogging have rocks thrown at their heads. People just out walking and being surrounded and intimidated on the street. Its like something out of lord of the flies and nothing seems to be done about it. I had a friend who was attacked while out running and even though he found out the names and addresses of 2 of his attackers(both 17) the Gardai did nothing, didnt even follow it up. So if the gardai dont have our backs how do you deal with something like this?

And I guess thats my question, if it happens to you and you find yourself in a situation where a group of kids are acting aggressively towards you how do you deal with it? Do you walk away, call the cops or do you start swinging digs?

MrStuffins

santana75 wrote: »

This is something I've noticed that happens a lot but doesnt seem to be discussed at all. For example I was coming back from the shops the other day when I hear this thump behind me. I looked around and there was this group of young fellas/sumbags looking all sheepish. There were about 8 of them, ranging in ages from about 14 -18. You know the type, Gilets, tracksuit bottoms tucked into white socks, they all literally looked the same.
I walked on for a bit but then I went back and had a look in a garden close by and sure enough there was a football. I jumped over the wall and got the ball. I approached the group and one of them came towards me, he was telling me to kick the ball back to him. I said to him, c'mere I wanna talk to you. He looked scared, turned away and went back to the group. When I got right up to them another 5 lads came around the corner. So now it was me and about 13 of them. There was an exchange of words between me and a few of them, I wanted to know if it was an accident and of course nobody was owning up to kicking the ball at me. So I turned and walked away but I still had their ball. They were shouting at me to give them their ball back, I just ignored them and kept walking. Then the guy who owned the ball was moaning and I told him to come talk to me by himself. No way was his response and he ran back to the group. So then they follow me and im surrounded by them all. One guy leading the pack, but I looked him in the eye and I could tell he was scared, which is probably the most dangerous state to be in. ANyway I kicked their ball over a wall and told them to go get it bitches. And that was it. Now obviosuly they weren't hardcore scumbags because I'd probably be dead
but Im a bit annoyed about the whole thing, I've seen incidents like this play themselves out in public before. I've seen people being intimadated and attacked by groups of kids on the luas. I've seen people out jogging have rocks thrown at their heads. People just out walking and being surrounded and intimidated on the street. Its like something out of lord of the flies and nothing seems to be done about it. I had a friend who was attacked while out running and even though he found out the names and addresses of 2 of his attackers(both 17) the Gardai did nothing, didnt even follow it up. So if the gardai dont have our backs how do you deal with something like this?

And I guess thats my question, if it happens to you and you find yourself in a situation where a group of kids are acting aggressively towards you how do you deal with it? Do you walk away, call the cops or do you start swinging digs?

I thought you might have been serious until this part. Then I stopped reading.

manlad

santana75 wrote: »

This is something I've noticed that happens a lot but doesnt seem to be discussed at all. For example I was coming back from the shops the other day when I hear this thump behind me. I looked around and there was this group of young fellas/sumbags looking all sheepish. There were about 8 of them, ranging in ages from about 14 -18. You know the type, Gilets, tracksuit bottoms tucked into white socks, they all literally looked the same.
I walked on for a bit but then I went back and had a look in a garden close by and sure enough there was a football. I jumped over the wall and got the ball. I approached the group and one of them came towards me, he was telling me to kick the ball back to him. I said to him, c'mere I wanna talk to you. He looked scared, turned away and went back to the group. When I got right up to them another 5 lads came around the corner. So now it was me and about 13 of them. There was an exchange of words between me and a few of them, I wanted to know if it was an accident and of course nobody was owning up to kicking the ball at me. So I turned and walked away but I still had their ball. They were shouting at me to give them their ball back, I just ignored them and kept walking. Then the guy who owned the ball was moaning and I told him to come talk to me by himself. No way was his response and he ran back to the group. So then they follow me and im surrounded by them all. One guy leading the pack, but I looked him in the eye and I could tell he was scared, which is probably the most dangerous state to be in. ANyway I kicked their ball over a wall and told them to go get it bitches. And that was it. Now obviosuly they weren't hardcore scumbags because I'd probably be dead
but Im a bit annoyed about the whole thing, I've seen incidents like this play themselves out in public before. I've seen people being intimadated and attacked by groups of kids on the luas. I've seen people out jogging have rocks thrown at their heads. People just out walking and being surrounded and intimidated on the street. Its like something out of lord of the flies and nothing seems to be done about it. I had a friend who was attacked while out running and even though he found out the names and addresses of 2 of his attackers(both 17) the Gardai did nothing, didnt even follow it up. So if the gardai dont have our backs how do you deal with something like this?

And I guess thats my question, if it happens to you and you find yourself in a situation where a group of kids are acting aggressively towards you how do you deal with it? Do you walk away, call the cops or do you start swinging digs?

Sounds like you got involved in a situation that had nothing to do with you and nearly made it worse for yourself. Why did you go into the garden to retrieve the ball and why would you provoke them by refusing to give the ball back

Also labelling every teenager you see on the street in a group a scumbag? You know this for a fact?

santana75

MrStuffins wrote: »

I thought you might have been serious until this part. Then I stopped reading.

No Im definitely being serious, its all I could think of to do at that point.

TheFarrier

I get the impression the ball hit you, but you didn't make this clear.

If it did, I'd have done the same as you, but if the ball was just fired into a garden then it was none of your business

GreeBo

Its painful alright OP.
I had a bunch of lads doing the similar outside my house, harassing people and then ringing door bells.

I used to follow them and take photos on my phone, letting them know I was.
Funnily enough they dont like that. I also used to point out the (fake!) cc tv camera on my wall.

mikom

Rats raising rats.
Try not to get involved or escalate OP.
Rats being rats they'll take the poison soon enough anyway.

Pat Mustard

Depending on the neighbourhood, kids from your own neighbourhood shouldn't cause much trouble. They know that you know them.

Other kids might become annoying if they were to start causing trouble. They could say or do things that a grown man would never dream of doing, because they know that there's little that you can do. You can't hit them, and they'll be long gone before police arrive.

Troublesome kids have all the time in the world to cause trouble for someone who will react to them. That's entertainment to a bored kid.

To use a cynical expression, there's always a victim, don't be it. Best avoided.

santana75

manlad wrote: »

Sounds like you got involved in a situation that had nothing to do with you and nearly made it worse for yourself. Why did you go into the garden to retrieve the ball and why would you provoke them by refusing to give the ball back

Also labelling every teenager you see on the street in a group a scumbag? You know this for a fact?

I dont remember labelling every teenager I see as a scumbag???? I know a lot of teenagers who are stand up kids, really decent, so no, Im not saying all teenagers are sumbags.
See the situation did involve me because they kicked the ball at me. It could've hit me in the head. Maybe I didnt make that clear? They definitely kicked the ball at me, so when somebody hurls an object at me then Im involved.
But this is my point, Im asking you how you would've dealt with the situation, assuming somebody hurls an object at you in public and theres no ambiguity, they definitely meant to hit you with it, what do you do?

freshpopcorn

santana75 wrote: »

I dont remember labelling every teenager I see as a scumbag???? I know a lot of teenagers who are stand up kids, really decent, so no, Im not saying all teenagers are sumbags.
See the situation did involve me because they kicked the ball at me. It could've hit me in the head. Maybe I didnt make that clear? They definitely kicked the ball at me, so when somebody hurls an object at me then Im involved.
But this is my point, Im asking you how you would've dealt with the situation, assuming somebody hurls an object at you in public and theres no ambiguity, they definitely meant to hit you with it, what do you do?

If they ask you to kick the ball back just kick it back or just keep walking and don't look back. If you try and stand up for yourself you might end up being attacked. Remember there is only one of you and a few of them.

mikom

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Remember there is only one of you and a few of them.

Felexicon

santana75 wrote: »

I dont remember labelling every teenager I see as a scumbag???? I know a lot of teenagers who are stand up kids, really decent, so no, Im not saying all teenagers are sumbags.
See the situation did involve me because they kicked the ball at me. It could've hit me in the head. Maybe I didnt make that clear? They definitely kicked the ball at me, so when somebody hurls an object at me then Im involved.
But this is my point, Im asking you how you would've dealt with the situation, assuming somebody hurls an object at you in public and theres no ambiguity, they definitely meant to hit you with it, what do you do?

I wouldn't do much if it didn't hit me tbh. Might make a joke about them being ****e at football but that would be all. If it hit me I'd just hoof the ball away.

Reaction would be much different if it was something like a rock or a brick but a football will do feck all harm to you. They are just bored kids at the end of the day. We've all been there

santana75

freshpopcorn wrote: »

If they ask you to kick the ball back just kick it back or just keep walking and don't look back. If you try and stand up for yourself you might end up being attacked. Remember there is only one of you and a few of them.

But thats the thing though, as a man its a horrible feeling to walk away from a situation like that, even if your safety is at risk I think you have to stand up for yourself

Felexicon wrote: »

I wouldn't do much if it didn't hit me tbh. Might make a joke about them being ****e at football but that would be all. If it hit me I'd just hoof the ball away.

Thats actually a good solution, I thought of doing something along those lines but as usual you think of the right thing to do only after the fact.

Felexicon

santana75 wrote: »

But thats the thing though, as a man its a horrible feeling to walk away from a situation like that, even if your safety is at risk I think you have to stand up for yourself



Thats actually a good solution, I thought of doing something along those lines but as usual you think of the right thing to do only after the fact.

Yeah the "Go get it bitches" thing is fairly cringey tbh. They'll more than likely shout that at you if they see you again

freshpopcorn

santana75 wrote: »

But thats the thing though, as a man its a horrible feeling to walk away from a situation like that, even if your safety is at risk I think you have to stand up for yourself

I believe in standing up for yourself but sometimes its better not to especially if your personal safety might be at risk. Its easer to get over a bruised ego than serious injury.

beauf

Felexicon wrote: »

... a football will do feck all harm to you. They are just bored kids at the end of the day. We've all been there

I know of a person who was hit by a ball (thrown/kicked deliberately) that knocked them over and out and fractured their skull. Cops couldn't prove who had hit them, so no charges, but it shows how very quickly this kinda thing can get out of hand. But You also have to consider younger kids and old people who might be intimidated, or injured more easily than yourself.

For this bunch, I'd have ignored them, they sound harmless. But If they were still hanging around the same spot a lot, and intimidating people, ask the Cops to swing past on a regular basis. TBH I think the OP made a confrontation out of nothing.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Get the ball and boot it back at them. Hard.

santana75

beauf wrote: »

For this bunch, I'd have ignored them, they sound harmless. But If they were still hanging around the same spot a lot, and intimidating people, ask the Cops to swing past on a regular basis. TBH I think the OP made a confrontation out of nothing.

I agree to a point, I mean looking back on it now I can see how I could've handled things a bit better, but hindsight is a great thing and its easy to be wise after the fact. If it happens again I'll do things differently for sure. But having said that, an object was hurled at me head and thats not making a confrontation out of nothing.

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

Get the ball and boot it back at them. Hard.

Yeah thats another one I thought of afterwards.

bigroad

I suppose its a difficult situtation to be in.They thing that would cross my mind is that it seems that the law can be on their side more than yours if anything more series happened.
Personally i would take out my ten inch hunting knife and stick it in their ball.Mic Dundee style.[just about a few snakes on the barbee]Gooday.

ppars

santana75 wrote: »

. ANyway I kicked their ball over a wall and told them to go get it bitches. And that was it. Now obviosuly they weren't hardcore scumbags because I'd probably be dead

Once one of these situations kicks off, there can be no winners, at best there will just be court cases, permanent injuries, and ruined lives. Unfortunately, a lot of people, including the feral rat pack themselves, don't get that.

I think you done sort of ok up to the point above, but your remark, loss of cool, and reaction, was a massive error of judgment. It's not the movies, you're not required to deliver a 'clever' line or reaction. Normally the pack leader(s) should have severely beaten and/or stabbed you at this point in order to save face, (in fact you really left them with no choice) and the rest would have joined in. Most of these packs carry screwdrivers these days. (Even though they can still be done for carrying one, their logic is that it's harder to get a conviction than with a knife carry)

They must still be in the trial phase, and most likely their leadership has not been settled yet. In other words, they as a gang, are still seeing how various tactics can play out. I think they were bored/practicing/trying out, and you were very very lucky to be one of their first try out runs.

The ball is the bait, and the next passer by won't be so lucky. They won't hesitate to escalate it the next time. You were very lucky this time.

Best thing would have been to stay calm, walk on, get out of that area, and don't fall into the reaction trap they laid for you. If it still kicks off, despite you leaving, by all means then do anything to save your own life, including taking one, but cut out the cheesy TV lines, and don't take the bait/trap the next time.

Grayfoxy

Guys,

I think some of the posts here are quite harsh towards the OP, I see no problem in booting the ball over the wall and saying that, except they will go get it, which means those "scumbags" are now jumping into someone elses garden because of you.

I caught two little scumbags spray painting the wall directly across from my house, they were with another lad (also a scumbag) which I knew, damn sure I went out and followed them, took their bag, emptied it and took all the spray paint and brought it back to mine (then disposed of it), sure, they got a bit aggravated and tried to kick off, then the guy that knew me said "lads, I wouldn't do that, anyway, he is right, lets just go"

santana75 wrote: »

This is something I've noticed that happens a lot but doesnt seem to be discussed at all. For example I was coming back from the shops the other day when I hear this thump behind me. I looked around and there was this group of young fellas/sumbags looking all sheepish. There were about 8 of them, ranging in ages from about 14 -18. You know the type, Gilets, tracksuit bottoms tucked into white socks, they all literally looked the same.
I walked on for a bit but then I went back and had a look in a garden close by and sure enough there was a football. I jumped over the wall and got the ball. I approached the group and one of them came towards me, he was telling me to kick the ball back to him. I said to him, c'mere I wanna talk to you. He looked scared, turned away and went back to the group. When I got right up to them another 5 lads came around the corner. So now it was me and about 13 of them. There was an exchange of words between me and a few of them, I wanted to know if it was an accident and of course nobody was owning up to kicking the ball at me. So I turned and walked away but I still had their ball. They were shouting at me to give them their ball back, I just ignored them and kept walking. Then the guy who owned the ball was moaning and I told him to come talk to me by himself. No way was his response and he ran back to the group. So then they follow me and im surrounded by them all. One guy leading the pack, but I looked him in the eye and I could tell he was scared, which is probably the most dangerous state to be in. ANyway I kicked their ball over a wall and told them to go get it bitches. And that was it. Now obviosuly they weren't hardcore scumbags because I'd probably be dead
but Im a bit annoyed about the whole thing, I've seen incidents like this play themselves out in public before. I've seen people being intimadated and attacked by groups of kids on the luas. I've seen people out jogging have rocks thrown at their heads. People just out walking and being surrounded and intimidated on the street. Its like something out of lord of the flies and nothing seems to be done about it. I had a friend who was attacked while out running and even though he found out the names and addresses of 2 of his attackers(both 17) the Gardai did nothing, didnt even follow it up. So if the gardai dont have our backs how do you deal with something like this?

And I guess thats my question, if it happens to you and you find yourself in a situation where a group of kids are acting aggressively towards you how do you deal with it? Do you walk away, call the cops or do you start swinging digs?

Hi OP,

While I don't agree with the way you label them (in the manner of describing what they wear and calling them scumbags, I wear tracksuits [granted, not tucked into my socks] and one other of my friends do), I do however agree the amount of incidents and intimidation from quite a lot of young people, to be honest, I have no time for it, it is rare that they would try and intimidate me, I am quite a large guy, but to be honest, I see it all the time, particularly with women, or older folks, I generally get involved and scare the s***e out of them, if it comes to fisty cuffs, it comes to fisty cuffs, but I will not just walk by when someone is being harassed for no reason, some people would, which is find as there is a safety factor.

As one of the other posters previously mentioned, if you know some of the kids from your estate or area, you generally won't get any harassment from people who don't know you, I went to school in a fairly rough area, was always the "outsider", never was in a click, but got on with everyone, still to this day I have never had trouble with anyone from this area, and it was something I saw day in, day out when I was in school.

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

Get the ball and boot it back at them. Hard.

I wouldn't do this for fear of missing and making a tit of myself.

santana75

santana75 wrote: »

But this is my point, Im asking you how you would've dealt with the situation, assuming somebody hurls an object at you in public and theres no ambiguity, they definitely meant to hit you with it, what do you do?

What do you do if a bird craps on your head or a dog snaps at you through a gate? They are animals. Mindless animals just doing what animals do. You shake your head at the mindless nature of it all and just wander on.

The kind of scum bags I see on the street deriving their entertainment from victimising others are just animals to me. I can see them no other way. I do not see them as human or worthy of even my contempt. I simply shake my head and move on. And I have certainly been on the receiving end of such attention more than many.

There was an After Hours thread similar to this recently where the OP of the thread actually got a completely random and unprovoked fist to the back of the head as he walked past one of these scum. In front of his girlfriend. Most of the replies on the thread were talking about retaliation to save face, impress the girlfriend, or protect their ego. I certainly do not worry about a bruised ego. The actions of mere creatures like them no more has the potential to bruise my ego than a bird crapping on my head as it flies by. Nor would by girlfriends by any more impressed by my retaliating against it than if I chased such a bird down and offed it.

They have my pity - such street scum - more than that I simply can not generate.

If I were to let the mindless actions of animals get to me - what option even is there? Stock up on the kind of weapons you see in a movie like "Kick Ass" and go out and night and eliminate the scum? Not really my cup of tea - as tempting as the prospect might be.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Ideally we're told that we should turn the other cheek but sometimes it's jsut not that easy.

I was in a Mc Donald's here in Limerick a few years ago sitting upstairs on my own eating. Suddenly I thought I was hit with something but wasn't sure. Then it happened again and I heard some giggles.

I was being hit with chips being flung by a bunch of girls sitting in another area a few feet away. They were about 15 years old roughly. I gave them a dirty look and proceeded to eat again. Then it happened again with more laughs.

I have to say my blood just boiled. The main thing was that I felt I was being treated like a piece of sh*t, completely looked down on by these girls. They saw me nothing more than some sort of base animal they could fling food at for laughs.

Anyway I took the burger I had on my tray on the table sitting on it's wrapper and flung the tray at them, rushing towards them, screaming that they were f**king scumbags and that I would throw them out the windows. I was pretty intense and pretty much everything stopped in that upstairs area. Then I went back to finish my burger and left.

Now many would say I shouldn't have done what I did and that I should have handled it a different way and they would have a point. It's just that I felt that it was such a dehumanising thing that I would be failing myself if I let it go. I think that's what caused me to flip, the whole dehumanising aspect of it, they really saw me as less than human, just some object they could interact with for their own amusement.

Anyway, thought the story was relevant to the thread.

Grayfoxy

Deleted User wrote: »

What do you do if a bird craps on your head or a dog snaps at you through a gate? They are animals. Mindless animals just doing what animals do. You shake your head at the mindless nature of it all and just wander on.

The kind of scum bags I see on the street deriving their entertainment from victimising others are just animals to me. I can see them no other way. I do not see them as human or worthy of even my contempt. I simply shake my head and move on. And I have certainly been on the receiving end of such attention more than many.

There was an After Hours thread similar to this recently where the OP of the thread actually got a completely random and unprovoked fist to the back of the head as he walked past one of these scum. In front of his girlfriend. Most of the replies on the thread were talking about retaliation to save face, impress the girlfriend, or protect their ego. I certainly do not worry about a bruised ego. The actions of mere creatures like them no more has the potential to bruise my ego than a bird crapping on my head as it flies by. Nor would by girlfriends by any more impressed by my retaliating against it than if I chased such a bird down and offed it.

They have my pity - such street scum - more than that I simply can not generate.

If I were to let the mindless actions of animals get to me - what option even is there? Stock up on the kind of weapons you see in a movie like "Kick Ass" and go out and night and eliminate the scum? Not really my cup of tea - as tempting as the prospect might be.

Hey Tax,

Whilst I agree with your stance, for you, as your own person. I think it is down to every individual to make up their own minds here.

The one thing I want to point out, I wouldn't class these as animals, animals do not antagonize or intimidate for fun.

efb

These posts are so common.


I'm a level 7 Israeli fighter so I could have ended them, I chose not to...


/hero

Grayfoxy

efb wrote: »

This posts are so common.


I'm a level 7 Israeli fighter so I could have ended them, I chose not to...


/hero

Sorry, what? O.o

efb

OP

Grayfoxy

Grayfoxy wrote: »

The one thing I want to point out, I wouldn't class these as animals, animals do not antagonize or intimidate for fun.

Not sure on that one. Cats often prey on and antagonise prey that they have no intention of eating.

However who is to say these creatures that the OP talks about are even doing it for "fun". I am not so sure they derive as much pleasure from it as you might expect. Rather it is to stave off the pain of boredom. It is to attain social status amongst peers by snubbing authority and convention and engaging in posturing and displays of dominance. All mindless animal activities as I see it.

The idea they actually derive pleasure from the misery of others is possible but it is an assumption I would not be so fast to make straight away.

Grayfoxy wrote: »

Sorry, what? O.o

I think he is trying to suggest that the OP is presenting an apocraphl story in an attempt to portray himself as the hard man who stood up to a gang of scumbags.

Pawwed Rig

From reading it I don't actually think they were scumbags. More a group of kids full of bluster trying to impress their peers. None of them actually touched the OP or threatened to. Hanging around in groups is normal for kids but admittedly intimidating for people passing by on their own. In the estate I used to live in there were loads of similar kids. Mostly good decent people but being egged on by the odd one or two but there was a certain line they wouldn't cross which seems to be the case here. Ringing doorbells and running away is also normal behaviour for a child.

beauf

Tend to agree. Normal mob of kids.

Scumbag behavior is a lot more serious.

miamee

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

From reading it I don't actually think they were scumbags. More a group of kids full of bluster trying to impress their peers. None of them actually touched the OP or threatened to. Hanging around in groups is normal for kids but admittedly intimidating for people passing by on their own. In the estate I used to live in there were loads of similar kids. Mostly good decent people but being egged on by the odd one or two but there was a certain line they wouldn't cross which seems to be the case here. Ringing doorbells and running away is also normal behaviour for a child.

Having read the whole thread now, I'd agree with this. Bored kids looking for a reaction (which they got) or else one of them accidentally hoofed it at you and then they all decided to stick together as a group instead of one of them taking the blame for hitting the angry man with their ball.

Remember you are an adult, they are kids. Ignore attention seeking unless it becomes harmful or repetitive. Pick your battles carefully, especially if it's in your own neighbourhood.