unprofessional behaviour?

corkcailin

sopretty wrote: »

Why are you stirring the pot then?

Im not stirring. If you read my first post I said some parents were thinking of going to BoM. I asked a simpke question if that could be done

sopretty

corkcailin wrote: »

Im not stirring. If you read my first post I said some parents were thinking of going to BoM. I asked a simpke question if that could be done

What exactly are they intending to report to the bom? That she had an affair? Or that because of her affair and comments made to her or about her, she has fallen out with these parents?

P. Breathnach

corkcailin wrote: »

Its not my place to approach the school, I think it should be up to the wife, who wants nothing to do with her she said as far is she is concerned she doesnt exist anymore.

If what is happening is damaging to the school, then any parent has a legitimate right to express concern to the principal (indeed, any member of the community might have, but I'd be uncomfortable about a non-parent getting involved).

I really don't think the responsibility should fall on the man's wife; she has enough on her plate.

corkcailin

sopretty wrote: »

What exactly are they intending to report to the bom? That she had an affair? Or that because of her affair and comments made to her or about her, she has fallen out with these parents?

From what I can gather its about the way she has spoken about a number of parents since, bad mouthing them and such. The affair is not the matter in question

Stavro Mueller

Do you have a child in the school?

strandroad

corkcailin wrote: »

From what I can gather its about the way she has spoken about a number of parents since, bad mouthing them and such. The affair is not the matter in question

So it's not the wife's complaint at all, it's the parents who feel affected who should make it.

corkcailin

cymbaline wrote: »

Do you have a child in the school?

Yes we do

corkcailin

mhge wrote: »

So it's not the wife's complaint at all, it's the parents who feel affected who should make it.

But have they a valid point. To be honest she is great with d kids

daisybelle2008

OP, you say you want to stay out of it and your 'personal issue' seems to be a curiosity about if other people can go to the BOM about all this gossip and tittle tat you say is none of your business.
Stop making it your business so and drop the subject. It will be yesterday's news soon and your involvement is not necessary in the bigger scheme of things. No need to drag yourself into it.

Czarcasm

corkcailin wrote: »

But have they a valid point. To be honest she is great with d kids

OP your sentence is contradictory (tbh I hadn't expected this thread to go on after you got your answers on the first page) but once she's good with the children, that's all that matters.

The parents can approach the principal directly, they can go through the parents council in the school, or they can approach the parents representative on the Board of Management of the school (that'd be me in my son's school), but honestly, if anyone approached me hoping to bring that before the Board of Management, I'd be telling them in the most polite terms possible to fcuk right off and don't involve me in that crap.

The Board of Management of any school has bigger issues to be dealing with than getting involved in the sex lives of their employees, and tbh if someone WERE daft enough to want this brought up at a Board of Management meeting, I'd say the very same thing.

All you're doing here is perpetuating idle gossip and it does indeed come off like you're trying to stir up a reaction. This is an open and shut case of petty bitching amongst adults who haven't a whole lot better to be doing with their lives (and yes, in fairness, if your story is accurate, I do include the teacher in this farce, though you never included the dole scrounger comment till later, which makes me suspicious that you are indeed just looking to stir up a reaction).

You might do well to educate the people intending to make a complaint about the teacher what they might be letting themselves in for (gossips don't like to exert any more effort that flapping their gums, so this might soften their cough) -


http://www.asti.ie/pay-and-conditions/conditions-of-work/dismissals/

CaraMay

corkcailin wrote: »

There are 2 guilty and 1 innocent adult in all of this

What business is it of yours?

The Princess Bride

This teacher crossed a line when she started an affair with a parent of one of the students in the school where she is employed.
Regardless of him being married and her being single,she acted unprofessionally.

Affair over,they hope to forget and move on?
If she is telling everybody who wants to listen about how unprofessional she has been,well,I'd imagine someone from the school staff/BOM will hear about this shortly anyway,and act accordingly.
If she is a good teacher,and her behaviour has not/is not affecting the students,there shouldn't be any issues.
Frankly,if she is badmouthing,gossiping etc...she sounds rather unstable to me.

OP-I'd advise you to step back and say/do nothing -especially if you're friendly with both parties.

Flippyfloppy

corkcailin wrote: »

They only had sex twice before being found out and there was never talk of him leaving his wife.

This just sounds like gossip really.

P. Breathnach

Czarcasm wrote: »

OP your sentence is contradictory (tbh I hadn't expected this thread to go on after you got your answers on the first page) but once she's good with the children, that's all that matters.

If she's good for the children, that matters a great deal; but it's not all that matters. If she causes problems in the school's relationship with families, that is a legitimate issue for concern.

The parents can approach the principal directly, they can go through the parents council in the school, or they can approach the parents representative on the Board of Management of the school (that'd be me in my son's school), but honestly, if anyone approached me hoping to bring that before the Board of Management, I'd be telling them in the most polite terms possible to fcuk right off and don't involve me in that crap.

I'd be wary of involving a parents' council. Such bodies are often very informally constituted, and the members are not always discreet.

Nor is it a good idea to expect parents' representatives on a school board to raise it. That's going over the head of the principal, and is a bad way to conduct business.

Czarcasm

P. Breathnach wrote: »

If she's good for the children, that matters a great deal; but it's not all that matters. If she causes problems in the school's relationship with families, that is a legitimate issue for concern.

I know you're right PB, but it's completely at the Principal's discretion how valid a concern that is for the school. We could argue the moral in's and out's of it all day, but we have no idea how the Principal of the school will react. They may have a quiet word with the teacher just to be seen to be addressing the parents issues and keep the peace, or they may dismiss the parents concerns as the beginning of a virtual shìtstorm and want to wash their hands of the situation by telling them the school has no grounds to act on hearsay and idle gossip without concrete evidence. They'd react the very same way if a child was being bullied at the school - without evidence it's very hard to act on a complaint.

I'd be wary of involving a parents' council. Such bodies are often very informally constituted, and the members are not always discreet.

Nor is it a good idea to expect parents' representatives on a school board to raise it. That's going over the head of the principal, and is a bad way to conduct business.

You're right again PB, I was just throwing those out there though in the hope of showing the OP how futile a complaint would be if the parents were to try and mount one. Most people are more concerned about their children's education than what their teachers get up to outside the classroom, and they'd see this as a witch-hunt coming a mile off and would prefer not to be involved and let the children adults sort it out amongst themselves.

deisemum

P. Breathnach wrote: »

If she's good for the children, that matters a great deal; but it's not all that matters. If she causes problems in the school's relationship with families, that is a legitimate issue for concern.

I'd be wary of involving a parents' council. Such bodies are often very informally constituted, and the members are not always discreet.

Nor is it a good idea to expect parents' representatives on a school board to raise it. That's going over the head of the principal, and is a bad way to conduct business.

I've been on the Parents Association when my children were in primary school and I'm currently on the Parents Council in their secondary school and we cannot discuss individual teachers and if another parent approaches us with a concern to do with a teacher we have to refer the parent to the principal.

evolving_doors

Please people please...won't somebody think of the Ethos?

All jokes aside
..about 20 years or so ago a woman was dismissed from her job from a ' religious' school because she was seen about the town with a divorced/unmarried man (can't remember which!)..legal case ensued and the case against the school was struck down because she went against the ethos...

Pure and simple..don't fkuc with the ethos as itll beat any hand..

Also have a check out the NEW teaching council code of practice...it's actually a bit vague as to what a teacher can /can't do outside school hours so she could be reported/pursued along those lines.

Personally though.. once she goes in and does her job without treating the kids any different then people should keep their noses out..

Colser

What I cant understand is where is all this interation/bickering taking place? People collect their kids from school and go home so when is she stirring trouble? Where did the dole scrounger conversation take place...surely not on school property? Why would she have parents phone nums to text or call them out of school? Is she a teacher or a helper in the classroom?

Just asking all these questions as I see very little interaction between parents and teachers at the school once the children are dropped and collected...And sorry OP I think you have more than a passing interest in all of this...just my opinion..

maria34

Am I the only one who thinks that all these "parents" are actually married ladies afraid that this teacher will crab their husbands? Why else are they bothered.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, I don't think this is the correct Forum for this thread. It is not a Personal Issue for you, it doesn't even sound like it a personal issue for anyone particularly close to you. I will move it to the Primary & Pre-School Forum and the mods there can make a decision on whether or not it is suitable there.

Big Bag of Chips

corkcailin wrote: »

The people involved now are other parents that she has been mouthing off to who are disgusted with her POST AFFAIR carry on.

If they are so disgusted, then they individually tell her they are not interested. I suspect though that they are interested! They want to hear all the gossip, but then want to be seen to be disgusted by her carry on. If I don't like someone, or don't like the things they say to me I steer clear of them. There's 2 parents of a children in my kids' classes who are separated, each of them spend their time giving out about the other and highlighting how evil and vindictive each other are. I avoid them at all costs.. because I'm not interested! I smile politely and don't make enough eye contact to be drawn in.

Of course parents can go to the BOM (although should go to principal first) with any complaint. But I get the feeling this is all done for gossip rather than concern for the kids. If I was THAT bothered by something going on in/outside of the school I wouldn't be holding a conference with every other parent I could gossip to.. I might speak to one or 2 close and trusted parents about how I felt and that I was going to make a complaint.

But this whole thing sounds like a sensationalist witch hunt. If you don't want to hear somebody talking about something you don't listen. It really is that simple.

byhookorbycrook

It sounds like the famous "they " have an issue, more personal than professional . Funny how it's always "they" or " other people" . If this has not impacted on her teaching in the class room , it is NOT a matter for anyone else.

seavill

Right I've read through the whole thread and if I have this right, this teacher is randomly ringing up parents to bitch about another set of parents?

Just ringing them up without being friends with any of them?

That sounds mental. If this is the case I would worry about that teachers mental stability.

Can the OP clarify if I have that correct or not?

And i would concur with the others - you don't talk to this teacher, you are not involved with the bitching, you are not one of the effected people so what in gods name has it got to do with you then? You want to know can they report her to the BOM, again, you're not involved in any of this so why does it bother you, and for someone not involved you know a lot of detail.

gerrycorrigan

The parents can approach the principal directly, they can go through the parents council in the school, or they can approach the parents representative on the Board of Management of the school (that'd be me in my son's school), but honestly, if anyone approached me hoping to bring that before the Board of Management, I'd be telling them in the most polite terms possible to fcuk right off and don't involve me in that crap.........Czarcasm???

You're not the Parents Rep. You are the Parents' Nominee and consequently you shouldn't be taking the views of parents to the BoM. You should read the Rules of BoM's.
I don't mean to sound superior, but it's important that BoM members know the limits of their responsibilities before they go off gallivanting around the country offering to take the views of all and sundry to board meetings.
If you make agreements with people to represent their concerns at board meetings then they will expect a report back from you, and then you will be threading on thin ice as regards confidentiality, so my advice would be to stop setting yourself up as a conduit for parents to go to the BoM, because there's no such mechanism.
GC

Czarcasm

gerrycorrigan wrote: »

You're not the Parents Rep. You are the Parents' Nominee and consequently you shouldn't be taking the views of parents to the BoM. You should read the Rules of BoM's.
I don't mean to sound superior, but it's important that BoM members know the limits of their responsibilities before they go off gallivanting around the country offering to take the views of all and sundry to board meetings.
If you make agreements with people to represent their concerns at board meetings then they will expect a report back from you, and then you will be threading on thin ice as regards confidentiality, so my advice would be to stop setting yourself up as a conduit for parents to go to the BoM, because there's no such mechanism.
GC

Thanks for the advice GC, you're right to correct me on the title, I'm not usually so pedantic myself tbh, but rest assured I'm aware of my responsibilities and I have enough headaches without setting myself up as a conduit for any sort of crap.

Paddyo

Just a note, the Parents Council should never be used for complaints against a teacher.