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Stay at home mums :)

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    #32
    sillysmiles
    Registered Users Posts: 1,170 ✭✭✭sillysmiles


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Just re-read the link there and completely disagree with your statement.

    You are totally right, opinions differ. I should point out that it is his article that bugs me and him, not the general point that he is trying to get across. But I find it hard to take him saying "people should be judgmental of SAHM when he is judgmental or everyone else (IMO).
    I do agree that people shouldn't be judgmental of SAHM but I would add that people shouldn't be judgmental of anybody else's family set-up.


    These is some of the things in this article grated on me.

    Look, I don’t cast aspersions on women who work outside of the home. I understand that many of them are forced into it because they are single mothers, or because one income simply isn’t enough to meet the financial needs of their family.
    This (to me) reads as though unless you are a single parent or broke, then you are a bad parent for wanting to work outside the home. The fact that he has "professional" in inverted commas in the sentence that follows (to me) screams sarcasm and disbelief at these so-called professional women.

    This conversation shouldn’t be necessary. I shouldn’t need to explain why it’s insane for anyone — particularly other women — to have such contempt and hostility for “stay at home” mothers.
    Maybe it should be that there is less contempt for whatever people decide to do in their family situation.

    Of course not all women can be at home full time.
    There is never a suggestion that a father could be at home part-time or that a viable family situation with the father at home. It just doesn't enter his language. I understand that he is speaking from a personal view point but it is very one sided and singular.


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    #33
    iguana
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    sillysmiles wrote: »
    There is never a suggestion that a father could be at home part-time or that a viable family situation with the father at home. It just doesn't enter his language. I understand that he is speaking from a personal view point but it is very one sided and singular.

    I read through a few of his other posts, like the one Roselm mentioned, and he is writing from the perspective of someone who's religious beliefs place him, as the male, as the leader of his household and his wife as a respected but ultimately submissive family member. Imo, that sheds a different light on his views of stay at home mothers, especially as he never mentions fathers staying home. For all the great things he has to say about how hard staying at home can be, I have a suspicion that while he does see it as demanding, important work, he also sees it as woman's work and not the work of a family leader, ie the man.


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    #34
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    iguana wrote: »
    I read through a few of his other posts, like the one Roselm mentioned, and he is writing from the perspective of someone who's religious beliefs place him, as the male, as the leader of his household and his wife as a respected but ultimately submissive family member. Imo, that sheds a different light on his views of stay at home mothers, especially as he never mentions fathers staying home. For all the great things he has to say about how hard staying at home can be, I have a suspicion that while he does see it as demanding, important work, he also sees it as woman's work and not the work of a family leader, ie the man.

    You see I haven't read the other article Roselm mentioned. I can only comment on what I've read and linked... From what you and Roselm say of his other article I am sure I would here with you. I hate sexism. And I hate this "man is leader" notion... It's just I haven't read his other stuff.

    I'm only coming from the perspective that some people don't understand how difficult being a stay at home parent can be. And some people do in actual fact berate it. IMO whatever any parent does to help and provide for their kids is a great thing. Be that at home or at work. It is all conducive to bringing up a great family unit. Just some others don't see it tht way.


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    #35
    Synyster Shadow
    Registered Users Posts: 1,773 ✭✭✭Synyster Shadow


    For me I can see that everyone has there own life style and choices may vary due to this..

    In my bubble I have the choice to work or stay home with kids which I'm Lucky. I'll have a just turned 1 year old and a newborn come April and feel it will help if I can be at home (totally just commenting on my situation)
    Of course there will always be someone to say you should go working when number 2 comes. This happens to be my MIL as she doesn't want to go out working and is under the illusion that 2 babies will be easy to watch. My husband said that I'm gonna watch them myself until they hit a certain age which she wasn't happy bout. But for me been told I'd never have babies now having them I'm just not ready to leave them.

    I think everyone has a different way. I also think he wrote about his own wife and how he didn't like peoples reactions to his wife staying at home. Maybe they needed help getting pregnant and of so that can influence what happens when baby/babies arrive


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