Stingiest things thread(op for R&R access)

Kolido

pablo128 wrote: »

You would want to learn how to count. The total paid was £28.

I think U'll find the total paid was £27, £25 for the meal and £2 for the waiter.

jcd5971

Less winge more stinge

Mocha Joe

Kolido wrote: »

I think U'll find the total paid was £27, £25 for the meal and £2 for the waiter.

And £3 back for lads equals £30. Done.

Dan Jaman

mikeymouse wrote: »

“Each guest got £1 back: so now each guest only paid £9; bringing the total paid to £27. The waiter has £2. And £27 + £2 = £29 so, if the guests originally handed over £30, what happened to the remaining £1?”

Nothing happened to the remaining pound - it's still floating about waiting to be claimed by the waiter's pocket or the charity box by the till.

pablo128

Fcuk it I just realised the total paid for the meal was 25 and they split the other fiver between them. Job done.

Next.

Greybottle

Well for the night that's in it; here's the story of Stingy Jack, the original Jack O'Lantern. There';s a few versions of this story, but this is close to the version we were told as kids. (yes, its from Wikipedia as I'm too stingy to spend my energy typing it out)

As the story goes, several centuries ago amongst myriad towns and villages in Ireland, there lived a drunkard known as "Stingy Jack". Jack was known throughout the land as a deceiver, manipulator and otherwise dreg of society. On a fateful night, Satan overheard the tale of Jack's evil deeds and silver tongue. Unconvinced (and envious) of the rumours, the devil went to find out for himself whether or not Jack lived up to his vile reputation.

Typical of Jack, he was drunk and wandering through the countryside at night when he came upon a body on his cobblestone path. The body with an eerie grimace on its face turned out to be Satan. Jack realized somberly this was his end; Satan had finally come to collect his malevolent soul. Jack made a last request: he asked Satan to let him drink ale before he departed to Hades. Finding no reason not to acquiesce the request, Satan took Jack to the local pub and supplied him with many alcoholic beverages. Upon quenching his thirst, Jack asked Satan to pay the tab on the ale, to Satan's surprise. Jack convinced Satan to metamorphose into a silver coin with which to pay the bartender (impressed upon by Jack's unyielding nefarious tactics). Shrewdly, Jack stuck the now transmogrified Satan (coin) into his pocket, which also contained a crucifix. The crucifix's presence kept Satan from escaping his form. This coerced Satan to agree to Jack's demand: in exchange for Satan's freedom, he had to spare Jack's soul for ten years.

Ten years later to the date when Jack originally struck his deal, he found himself once again in Satan's presence. Jack happened upon Satan in the same setting as before and seemingly accepted it was his time to go to Hades for good. As Satan prepared to take him to hell, Jack asked if he could have one apple to feed his starving belly. Foolishly Satan once again agreed to this request. As Satan climbed up the branches of a nearby apple tree, Jack surrounded its base with crucifixes. Satan, frustrated at the fact that he been entrapped again, demanded his release. As Jack did before, he made a demand: that his soul never be taken by Satan into Hades. Satan agreed and was set free.

Eventually the drinking took its toll on Jack; he died the way he lived. After he died, Jack's soul prepared to enter Heaven through the gates of St. Peter, but he was stopped. And Jack was told by God that because of his sinful lifestyle of deceitfulness and drinking, he was not allowed into Heaven. Jack then went down to the Gates of Hell and begged for commission into underworld. Satan, fulfilling his obligation to Jack, could not take his soul. To warn others, he gave Jack an ember, marking him a denizen of the netherworld. From that day on until eternity's end, Jack is doomed to roam the world between the planes of good and evil, with only an ember inside a hollowed turnip to light his way.

nice_guy80

I've seen women pull into a garage in flashy bmws, audis and other high end cars and only able to afford a tenner in fuel

EPAndlee

I know a woman who will always reuse a tea bag 3 or 4 times

Oscar Bravo

I know a man who takes the light out of his fridge as he thinks it stays on and uses electricity when the door is closed.

Mr.Wemmick

EPAndlee wrote: »

I know a woman who will always reuse a tea bag 3 or 4 times

You know my mother?

jca

nice_guy80 wrote: »

I've seen women pull into a garage in flashy bmws, audis and other high end cars and only able to afford a tenner in fuel

The travellers around here are worse. I've seen them "driving" 171 mercs on the starter into the garage and then put in 3 euro.

the beer revolu

EPAndlee wrote: »

I know a woman who will always reuse a tea bag 3 or 4 times

If you like really weak tea, that's not stingy.
To do otherwise would be stupidly wastefull.

I like weak tea so I will often reuse my colleague's teabag. I don't pay for the teabags so I don't save anything. I just hate to see 2 used when one does the job just fine.

HeidiHeidi

the beer revolu wrote: »

If you like really weak tea, that's not stingy.
To do otherwise would be stupidly wastefull.

I like weak tea so I will often reuse my colleagues teabag. I don't pay for the teabags so I don't save anything. I just hate to see 2 used when one does the job just fine.

Using one teabag to make two cups of tea is fine.

Leaving your teabag to dry out so you can reuse it later is :eek:

DaeryssaOne

nice_guy80 wrote: »

I've seen women pull into a garage in flashy bmws, audis and other high end cars and only able to afford a tenner in fuel

I don't see anything stingy in that. I might only put a tenner in as I can see the fuel price is a rip off at that petrol station and I just want enough to get me to somewhere more reasonable.

I may not have cards on me and just enough cash for a tenner.

I may be borrowing a car and don't need more than that amount.

That is definitely not something I would regard as stingy!

the beer revolu

Oscar Bravo wrote: »

I know a man who takes the light out of his fridge as he thinks it stays on and uses electricity when the door is closed.

Don't believe this one.
Heard it before.

Blitzkrieger

gramar wrote: »

Oh the unadulterated romance of it all!

I once saw a (married) couple in the take away have a full blown fight over a fiver. He said he left it on the counter to pay for their chips, she must have stolen it and then denied it and was upset at being blamed for it.

They didn't last....

benjamin d

jobr wrote: »

I don't see anything stingy in that. I might only put a tenner in as I can see the fuel price is a rip off at that petrol station and I just want enough to get me to somewhere more reasonable.

I may not have cards on me and just enough cash for a tenner.

I may be borrowing a car and don't need more than that amount.

That is definitely not something I would regard as stingy!

I think this is more of a personal philosophy thing. I always fill my car and then drive it to near empty but I know people who'll call to the petrol station for ten or twenty euro worth a few times a week.

They might actually be acting less stingy by buying small amounts at a time because the reason I fill mine and drive it to empty is so I know exactly what my fuel efficiency is!

Ineedaname

Used to work for a local kitchen manufacturer years ago. We were on our way to a site one when we had to pick up a few bits in the hardware. All together it added up to €20 which we said to put on the bosses account. What we didn't realize was that the hardware put it on his brothers account by mistake.

Few days later brother arrives at the workshop frothing at the mouth looking for the boss with murder in his eyes. All the while hurling every insult he could think of. Before we knew it fists were flying and it took two of us to pull them apart.

All over €20

suicide_circus

^^^^sounds like that 20 was the tip of the iceberg that broke the camels back

Thargor

suicide_circus wrote: »

^^^^sounds like that 20 was the tip of the iceberg that broke the camels back

You're not stingy when it comes to metaphors

Ineedaname

suicide_circus wrote: »

^^^^sounds like that 20 was the tip of the iceberg that broke the camels back

Nope. They're just mean as fcuk. Whole family is well known for it. We were doing a job in up the country and I had to buy a few things out of my own money. Handed him the invoice and he swore he'd have the money and the travel expenses for the job first thing Monday. Went in Monday morning only to discover the prick had gone on holidays for a month.

Walked out the door and I never went back or got my money either.

Greybottle

nice_guy80 wrote: »

I've seen women pull into a garage in flashy bmws, audis and other high end cars and only able to afford a tenner in fuel

Not stingy, just clever by waiting for himself to borrow the car to fill it up.

andreoilin

My grandmother fills her cartons of milk back up with water when they're half empty.

Gerrup Outta Dat!

I went to the chipper in Galway recently. A guy in front of me made an order and the total came to €9.60. The guy only had a fiver and two €2s. The man behind the counter said it was OK just as I was about to offer the extra 60c. Suddenly, the guy realised that he had a 50c and a 20c in his pocket .. he handed it over and waited for his 10c change !! The stingy fukcing prick. After the man was going to let him off 60 c !!

Surreptitious

I know someone who collects salt, pepper and sauce sachets so they don't have to buy them for their home. This person has many foreign holidays a year.

Macmillan150

The stingiest person I know never buys children a gift. She goes to birthday parties/ communions / graduation parties / Christmas and says , I forgot your card, gift hasn't arrived yet etc etc and never ever gives them anything. It drives me nuts now that I've noticed it.
She's as mean to her own children They both have great jobs, great cars, lots of holidays ( mostly without the kids) and no shortage of money for other extravagances.

Dan Jaman

benjamin d wrote: »

I think this is more of a personal philosophy thing. I always fill my car and then drive it to near empty but I know people who'll call to the petrol station for ten or twenty euro worth a few times a week.

They might actually be acting less stingy by buying small amounts at a time because the reason I fill mine and drive it to empty is so I know exactly what my fuel efficiency is!

Hmm.. not sure if I was being stingy or not, but I found that keeping the tank topped up by ten or twenty's worth at a time was more to do with peace of mind, knowing that I would be able to (for example) nip up to Dublin or further with no thought of having to find a fuelling point, as happened on more than one occasion.
The bike is different of course, as a tenner's worth nearly fills it anyway.

Dan Jaman

suicide_circus wrote: »

^^^^sounds like that 20 was the tip of the iceberg that broke the camels back

Abridged too far.

Dan Jaman

andreoilin wrote: »

My grandmother fills her cartons of milk back up with water when they're half empty.

I know a miserable sod who divides his dishwashing liquid into two bottles and dilutes them. Swears blind it washes just as well.
I tried that; it doesn't. Mind you, if I was stuck I'd do it to spin it out until I was next in the shops.

Jobs OXO

Dan Jaman wrote: »

I know a miserable sod who divides his dishwashing liquid into two bottles and dilutes them. Swears blind it washes just as well.
I tried that; it doesn't. Mind you, if I was stuck I'd do it to spin it out until I was next in the shops.

Why did you try it unless you are equally miserable? If it worked fine sounds like you would be doing it also.....