New woman - Bad Roide

6541

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Sounds like it's your fault. Google "foreplay"

Uriel.

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have its en seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

Get rid. A bad roide as you say, it's just not worth hanging around

I had a bird on my arm once too
It was a falcon though

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

bluewolf wrote: »

I had a bird on my arm once too
It was a falcon though

The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken.
This was evil manifest.

Nodin

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

....when the mood starts to go off you, sneakily stick her in the arse with a pin. It'll keep the romance going till you move on.

YFlyer

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken.
This was evil manifest.

I'm going to track you down and force you to listen to endless Goodkind on audiotape as revenge

Holsten

Tell her what you want.

Easy fix.

Roger Hassenforder

maybe because you're such an awesome roide yourself, she is just lying there enjoying it, paralysed with pure ectasy, as you give her the seeing to of her hitherto miserable existance?


Are you even touching the sides?

Firewalkwithme

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

You must be sh1t. Poor girl.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

bluewolf wrote: »

I'm going to track you down and force you to listen to endless Goodkind on audiotape as revenge

ill just pretend it's a 50 shades audio book, be grand

Wibbs

bluewolf wrote: »

I had a bird on my arm once too
It was a falcon though

I had an eagle. Sorry Bluey I win the internetz. :P

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

If she's just laying there, you need to up your game Ted. Google is your friend. Check out "g spot", "safe words" "mickey enlargement devices" "wine". Be grand.

full_irish

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Are you even touching the sides?

Tee hee, brilliant! Its times like this that I rmember why I come to AH.

OP, were you seriously expecting anything other than ridicule... you spanner! (thought i might aswell join:p)

6541

A woman's input would be appreciated !

FearDark

The ugly ones are always better in bed, they have to put more effort in.

Firewalkwithme

6541 wrote: »

A woman's input would be appreciated !

Solution: Buy her a strap on.

Mariasofia

6541 wrote: »

A woman's input would be appreciated !

Just like your original problem. :-P

full_irish

6541 wrote: »

A woman's input would be appreciated !

Problem solved... what your bird wants is some lady taco!

6541

full_irish wrote: »

Tee hee, brilliant! Its times like this that I rmember why I come to AH.

OP, were you seriously expecting anything other than ridicule... you spanner! (thought i might aswell join:p)

Of course that is why I posted in AH. like I have just left her house and I am going to look at some porn before I nod off. Something is wrong with this picture.

Roger Hassenforder

6541 wrote: »

A woman's input would be appreciated !

she might prefer it then this Lothario...

shopaholic01

6541 wrote: »

A woman's input would be appreciated !

She's not enjoying it.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

I had an eagle. Sorry Bluey I win the internetz. :P

Oh look at me mine is bigger :rolleyes:

Cogsy88

At least you have a woman to complain about op.

Panthro

There's a whole thread about Pylons.
Just saying.

Wibbs

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Are you even touching the sides?

TBH out of deference and politeness and incomprehension I hadn't even considered that RH. Valid point Sir. She may feel like it's an arm waving around in a humid room alright. Hmmmm *awkward* ehhhh.... back to google and mickey enhancement devices.

6541 wrote:

A woman's input would be appreciated !

On the internet? Are you mad? Anyway a woman's input(missus) has already been given and it doesn't look too good Ted. Sorry an all.

Firewalkwithme

Cogsy88 wrote: »

At least you have a woman to complain about op.

I get the feeling she's doing most of the complaining while he gets on with the moaning

Wibbs

FearDark wrote: »

The ugly ones are always better in bed, they have to put more effort in.

Clearly not in the OP's example. He needs to step up it seems.

shopaholic01

Wibbs wrote: »

TBH out of deference and politeness and incomprehension I hadn't even considered that RH. Valid point Sir. She may feel like it's an arm waving around in a humid room alright. Hmmmm *awkward* ehhhh.... back to google and mickey enhancement devices

Never heard that one before!

Larianne

At least you're getting the ride.

Angry_Mammarys

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

stop pretending you've had sex, its sad.

FearDark

Larianne wrote: »

At least you're getting the ride.

[insert chat up line here]

shopaholic01

Larianne wrote: »

At least you're getting the ride.

He might offer you one so you might live to regret that.

Larianne

FearDark wrote: »

[insert chat up line here]

Tis not a chat up line I'm after.

newport2

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

If she just lies there and thinks of Ireland, you're not doing it right. ie you're a bad roide

The Backwards Man

New woman - bad roide

Old woman - good roide

Problem solved.

FearDark

Larianne wrote: »

Tis not a chat up line I'm after.

Is it cawk?

A big cawk?

Any cawk?

...I've got a cawk.

urabell

6541 wrote: »

Okay, I have been seeing a younger bird for the last three weeks. Good craic, looks good on the arm, but she is a bad roide! Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland. Now good people of AH please advise.

And my threads are supposed to be hard to believe? Everyone's a virgin on the internet

Roger Hassenforder

Larianne wrote: »

At least you're getting the ride.

sounds like there's only one of them getting some...

downonthefarm

I have often wonderd what my younger co-workers would be like in the sack.
Thanks op you just gone and ruined it for me

Panthro

Dip yer micky in cider OP.

shopaholic01

downonthefarm wrote: »

I have often wonderd what my younger co-workers would be like in the sack.
Thanks op you just gone and ruined it for me

I suspect it's him that's the problem, not her so fantasise away.

jobeenfitz

downonthefarm wrote: »

I have often wonderd what my younger co-workers would be like in the sack.
Thanks op you just gone and ruined it for me

Don't be worrying yourself unless you'r as bad at it as the OP.

Specialun

Small tinky winky id say ted

krudler

shopaholic01 wrote: »

She's not enjoying it.

Just putting it out there, some women can be crap in bed no matter how much effort the guy puts in. It's great when a woman knows what she wants and how to ask for more/less of what does/doesn't work for her instead of just lying there giving you no indication.

MonaPizza

6541 wrote: »

Of course that is why I posted in AH. like I have just left her house and I am going to look at some porn before I nod off. Something is wrong with this picture.

Porno and the five-finger practice tunnel trumps a bad shag everytime. If she's not on top of you ramming her tits in your face then you might as well spank the monkey fantastic.

Frosty McSnowballs

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

If that doesn't work, ask your dad for tips.

<_<

shopaholic01

krudler wrote: »

Just putting it out there, some women can be crap in bed no matter how much effort the guy puts in. It's great when a woman knows what she wants and how to ask for more/less of what does/doesn't work for her instead of just lying there giving you no indication.

Sssshhh, it's after hours.

Roger Hassenforder

krudler wrote: »

Just putting it out there, some women can be crap in bed no matter how much effort the guy puts in. It's great when a woman knows what she wants and how to ask for more/less of what does/doesn't work for her instead of just lying there giving you no indication.

Making love to a beautiful woman is a bit like... eh, making love to a beautiful woman!

Bounty Hunter Dan

6541 wrote: »

Just frigging lies there and thinks of Ireland.

Baldwin?

What a coincidence. That's who I was just lying here thinking of.

Tommy Dillon

pic for F++k off with your shoite