Farming and Relationships

AP2014

Kovu wrote: »

No reason I thanked it other than the fact it was fuppin funny! If he'd replied to me the same I'd have thanked it too.

No doubt and you commented on the rest of the posts and were very involved in the thread and gave some great opinions. I wish more people had the guts and courage to put forward their opinions like you did.

AP2014

Genghis Cant wrote: »

It generated likes cos it was funny. I didn't thank it yet maybe I will, as is my perogative.

Any harm to ask are you an out gay man?

In the interests of fairness I myself am not gay. I'm heterosexual.
So there ya are now.

I am not, settled with the missus for a few years now. I have a few gay friends and a few priests in the family not immediate family. One definitely gay but hasn't come out its a shame.

I am in my 30's but if I was gay I think it would have been extremely hard to come out, even when I was in school not too long ago it was extremely taboo.

Indeed it is your prerogative to thank what post you like, but because someone has an alternative view I wouldn't label them morons.

A cow called Daisy

The religious difference is still prevalent in many areas :mad: particularly in northern areas in my opinion. And I have to say it is more common with the (my) protestant community :mad::mad: Was at school with lad who was told tbat if he married 'that girl' (a Catholic) that he was to leave. Language not as polite, no doubt.

The posts about folks marrying late in life reminds me of the old joke about the 80 year old marrying a girl of 22. A neighbour is congratulating him and asks him if he is not worried about the age difference. He thinks for a bit and says 'ah if she dies...she dies' .

Was in conversation recently and the chat got around to priests and whether they should be allowed to marry. One 'holier than thou' woman who was against all that sort of stuff looks at me and says 'Daisy, your crowd are allowed marry, what do you think? Do you think our priests should be allowed marry?' Daisy thinks for a second and says 'Of course priests should be allowed marry......especially if they love each other.

P.S. On the religious differences thing - Google a poem called 'The Papish and the Prod' by John McKearney and maybe post link. Nothing to do with land but very poignant. Well worth
a read in my opinion.

keep going

The fun is certainly sucked out of this thread.who the f##k knows why men/ women stayed single in the country , personally I think there was alot of lack of confidence and poor social skillsinvolved and theres alot of that around still.on relationships in farming, its not alot different to any other job after,lots of jobs require commitment that puts pressure on relationship s but at the end of the day it either works or it dont.

einn32

I don't think farming is any different to most careers now. A lot of people work crazy long hours. You could even have one person on night shift and the other on days and they never see each other for long periods. Lots of people are leaving early and home late during the week.


The weekend is probably the tricky time but if you have a good set up it can be simple for someone to come fill in for you. Time off is key to a hard job like farming especially time off with your loved ones.


It's hard to find a person willing to accept that your career is farming and it comes first though. But I think someone genuinely interested in you will take on board the farming with the odd argument about it!!

AP2014

keep going wrote: »

The fun is certainly sucked out of this thread.who the f##k knows why men/ women stayed single in the country , personally I think there was alot of lack of confidence and poor social skillsinvolved and theres alot of that around still.on relationships in farming, its not alot different to any other job after,lots of jobs require commitment that puts pressure on relationship s but at the end of the day it either works or it dont.

Does this link bring the fun back into it? No need for social skills if you use a come on tactic like this!

http://www.donedeal.ie/dairycattle-for-sale/keep-your-cows-focused-on-conception/8549799?offset=22

freedominacup

einn32 wrote: »

It's hard to find a person willing to accept that your career is farming and it comes first though.

There's your problem right there. Why would anyone accept second place to a farm?

Timmaay

freedominacup wrote: »

There's your problem right there. Why would anyone accept second place to a farm?

Do many of you full time farmers put the farm 1stly??? I most certainly do not, it's a means to an end and always will be, it's at best number 3 or 4 in terms of importance.

Charliebull

freedominacup wrote: »

There's your problem right there. Why would anyone accept second place to a farm?

that there is the starting point

from there you figure out how to manage your time but in all cases family should and need to come first

Charliebull

Timmaay wrote: »

Do many of you full time farmers put the farm 1stly??? I most certainly do not, it's a means to an end and always will be, it's at best number 3 or 4 in terms of importance.

the other side tim is the part time lad, working 9-5 and farming,

thats why its 10pm when i get to shed, family first in evening

saturday early start for early finish,

einn32

freedominacup wrote: »

There's your problem right there. Why would anyone accept second place to a farm?

Well in my opinion there is always instances on a farm where a significant other has to come second. The other half has arranged dinner but at the same time a few cows break out etc. etc. What comes first then?? I'm not saying that they will always come second but they do need to accept that crap will occur on a farm and plans will be scrapped.


It depends on how you look at it and what you want from life. Lots of people working put their love life on hold to further their career. I wouldn't call it a problem as they focus on their career and then when they have reached their goals they go in to a relationship. How many people have worked hard through their 20's or early 30's to achieve financial stable career and then go down the marriage route etc.


Maybe as farms expand it will allow farmers more freedom to take time off.

Anyway there is nothing wrong with being single:)

AP2014

einn32 wrote: »

Well in my opinion there is always instances on a farm where a significant other has to come second. The other half has arranged dinner but at the same time a few cows break out etc. etc. What comes first then?? I'm not saying that they will always come second but they do need to accept that crap will occur on a farm and plans will be scrapped.


It depends on how you look at it and what you want from life. Lots of people working put their love life on hold to further their career. I wouldn't call it a problem as they focus on their career and then when they have reached their goals they go in to a relationship. How many people have worked hard through their 20's or early 30's to achieve financial stable career and then go down the marriage route etc.


Maybe as farms expand it will allow farmers more freedom to take time off.

Anyway there is nothing wrong with being single:)

You head for dinner and let her get the cows back with the neighbours. Stop into supermacs on the way home and grab her a snackbox.

freedominacup

einn32 wrote: »

Well in my opinion there is always instances on a farm where a significant other has to come second. The other half has arranged dinner but at the same time a few cows break out etc. etc. What comes first then?? I'm not saying that they will always come second but they do need to accept that crap will occur on a farm and plans will be scrapped.

That's not what you said in your previous post though. The inference I took from it was that you expected your significant other to accept second place at all times. Virtually any job will have instances where you can be delayed at times not the same thing as expecting family to come second to your job.

Dawggone

einn32 wrote: »

Maybe as farms expand it will allow farmers more freedom to take time off.




ROFLMAO!!!! That's a good one!!

einn32

freedominacup wrote: »

That's not what you said in your previous post though. The inference I took from it was that you expected your significant other to accept second place at all times. Virtually any job will have instances where you can be delayed at times not the same thing as expecting family to come second to your job.

I think you took me up wrong and I probably should have worded that part better but I did say the following:

"Time off is key to a hard job like farming especially time off with your loved ones"

You couldn't hold down a relationship keeping the farm first all the time plus it wouldn't be healthy for yourself!

einn32

Dawggone wrote: »

ROFLMAO!!!! That's a good one!!

They will have to rename it divorce 2020 so!!!

Dawggone

einn32 wrote: »

They will have to rename it divorce 2020 so!!!

All things being equal....2000 acres has more work than 200.
Teagasc et al are not forthcoming on the reality of this, maybe it's because they don't know any better.
Most on here have inherited farms that have been tipping along for years with minimal expansion.
Wait until you double or treble in size...:)

Miname

A friend of mines at that age where older folk keep nagging him about getting married. He was at a wedding one day, when someone started giving him stick. He called over an uncle of his who had married at 69 and said how's marriage? His reply was I done it twenty years too young.

Mad4simmental

A cow called Daisy wrote: »

P.S. On the religious differences thing - Google a poem called 'The Papish and the Prod' by John McKearney and maybe post link. Nothing to do with land but very poignant. Well worth
a read in my opinion.

I don't read to many poems Daisy, but that's a good one. Well worth a read.

http://www.irishcultureandcustoms.com/Poetry/PapishProd.html

onrail

Jesus lads... I go away from the thread for a year and look what happens!

AP2014

onrail wrote: »

Jesus lads... I go away from the thread for a year and look what happens!

Ya missed some craic, a few lads seem to have had the one girlfriend the mammy didn't approve. They lost the horn and left it at that Good old rural Ireland.

Bullocks

AP2014 wrote: »

Ya missed some craic, a few lads seem to have had the one girlfriend the mammy didn't approve. They lost the horn and left it at that Good old rural Ireland.

Reminds me of a story of a lad trying to get the farm off two uncles but they wouldn't sign over until he settled down with a respectable girl . He made an arrangement with the right girl and got engaged to her until the place was signed over and he gave her a few quid for her trouble ! Good move I thought

Miss PE

Hi,
I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help?
I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc.
I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night.
He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)!
I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own!
I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard!
Thanks

Count Mondego

Miss PE wrote: »

Hi,
I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help?
I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc.
I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night.
He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)!
I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own!
I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard!
Thanks

You could always break it off with him and hook up with one of those Irish water protesters, those lads have plenty time on their hands and i'd say would never miss a night out

Joking aside, he's got to manage 90 cows, it's springtime, and if you can't handle a few weeks of this you should not be marrying into a farm. This will never be a 9 - 5 job.

Milked out

Miss PE wrote: »

Hi,
I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help?
I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc.
I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night.
He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)!
I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own!
I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard!
Thanks

This time of year no such thing as normal hours unfortunately particularly if he is working on his own, cows calving at all hours, calves to be minded, managing and feeding cattle both inside and trying to get to grass make it fairly hectic. One hiccup could add hours to the day but it will only be for a few weeks.
At the same time, me not exactly the one to talk at times, if he could start a few hours earlier it may help but the body clock does be all over the shop when u could be up with cows during the nite. Patience and perhaps talking non confrontationally about possible solutions, perhaps more relief etc but these things are best planned when not in the middle of the busy season so as to make decisions when less stressed and with a clear head

Greengrass1

Starting at 9am?
You sure?
If so he definitely needs to get out of the leaba earlier and should be finished earlier

AP2014

Greengrass1 wrote: »

Starting at 9am?
You sure?
If so he definitely needs to get out of the leaba earlier and should be finished earlier

I think the main question is what is being done to entice him to stay in the leaba!

[mod]This is a serious post that's being responded to and it deserves serious and appropriate answers. Trying to make a joke of the whole thing is not on.[/mod]

visatorro

Miss PE wrote:

Hi, I am engaged to a dairy farmer and was just wondering what are the hours normally worked this time of the year before looking for help? I am from a farming background (not dairy), am understanding and interested in the farm but I feel that he is taking the p*** with how little he sees me! I work long hours too but help out getting messages for him on Saturdays, etc. I called over to see him while milking @ 9o'c one night this week and saw him last on Sunday when he got an evening milker (he met me @ 7pm) and he stood me up last night. He works from about 9am until 10:30pm most nights (the earliest he is in @ is 9:30pm)! I have moved down the country to be near him (live 20mins away from him) all to be on my own! I am finding it REALLY REALLY hard! Thanks

your just going to have to talk to him About it. fair enough this time of the year can be busy but if it doesn't calm down abit something will have to be worked out between both of you.
I know you moved out to be with himself but you have to keep in with your own friends aswell and not become isolated

greysides

If you try to help out more on the farm you may develop an interest in what he does and share more time together.
Farming is simply not like other jobs.

Bullocks

visatorro wrote: »

I know you moved out to be with himself but you have to keep in with your own friends aswell and not become isolated

That's important without a doubt , my wife gives out to me that we don't go out with her mates anymore (mostly because I'm an odd lad that doesn't like them )
But the mood is definitely better when she has a night out with them . She needs to realise that I don't have as much spare time as when we were young and in love either !