Your embarrassing/funny Christmas work party stories

IvaBigWun

And none of the cliched "I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs" tales

The strangest thing I saw at one of these was a girl come out of the toilet with half a toilet roll coming out of her jeans and trailing behind her. She was left with this wedding dress like white veil "train" for about half an hour before someone had the deceny to tell her. Me included as I couldnt speak at that stage.

Whats your embarrassing/funny Christmas work party story?

Lapin

I once photocopied my bosses boobs.

The Backwards Man

I turned up at my Christmas party once only to discover that I hadn't organised one for myself and I'm self-employed so there was no one else there.

bodhrandude

Slightly off topic, this is what I heard about a wedding do, the groom who was fairly scuttered went to do a number 2 in the loo and forgot to remove his underpants. So when he went to join the bride on the dance floor there was keech running down his leg heh heh.

Lapin

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I turned up at my Christmas party once only to discover that I hadn't organised one for myself and I'm self-employed so there was no one else there.

Well that can't be embarrassing.

There was no one else there to see you make a tit of yourself !

Mint Aero

IvaBigWun wrote: »

And none of the cliched "I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs" tales

The strangest thing I saw at one of these was a girl come out of the toilet with half a toilet roll coming out of her jeans and trailing behind her. She was left with this wedding dress like white veil "train" for about half an hour before someone had the deceny to tell her. Me included as I couldnt speak at that stage.

Whats your embarrassing Christmas office party story?

That's not yours! That's someone elses embarrassing story! :mad: what's yours? Photocopy your weener on 75%?

The Backwards Man

Lapin wrote: »

Well that can't be embarrassing.

There was no one else there to see you make a tit of yourself !

Believe me, I don't need anyone watching me to make a tit of myself.

IvaBigWun

Mint Aero wrote: »

That's not yours! That's someone elses embarrassing story! :mad: what's yours? Photocopy your weener on 75%?

The "lets do crazy shít to the copier" queue was too long

StewartGriffin

Me and my mates followed a star, thought we were going to a hotel, but ended up in a f*cking stable. Well, we brought presents for the boss, anyway, long story short, the other two bst*rds had Gold and Myrr and all I bought were a few sticks of frankincense from the 2 euro shop.

Lapin

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Believe me, I don't need anyone watching me to make a tit of myself.

Are you sure you're not me

kirb42

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I turned up at my Christmas party once only to discover that I hadn't organised one for myself and I'm self-employed so there was no one else there.

There's always one.....

BNMC

Why does a lot of people assume everyone works in an office?

Lapin

Mint Aero wrote: »

That's not yours! That's someone elses embarrassing story! :mad: what's yours? Photocopy your weener on 75%?

Where do you think he got his username ?

IvaBigWun

StewartGriffin wrote: »

Me and my mates followed a star, thought we were going to a hotel, but ended up in a f*cking stable. Well, we brought presents for the boss, anyway, long story short, the other two bst*rds had Gold and Myrr and all I bought were a few sticks of frankincense from the 2 euro shop.

:pac:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R4BFPb-qXPc/URMTzYVvbKI/AAAAAAAAGeM/5_UYTNXIv-4/s1600/you+win+one+free+internet+coupon.jpg

Banjo String

StewartGriffin wrote: »

Me and my mates followed a star, thought we were going to a hotel, but ended up in a f*cking stable. Well, we brought presents for the boss, anyway, long story short, the other two bst*rds had Gold and Myrr and all I bought were a few sticks of frankincense from the 2 euro shop.

The above + username = watch show too much.

anncoates

Gave a very annoying workmate a slap.

Amazingly didn't get sacked for it.

I think everybody else hated him anyway.

Lapin

BNMC wrote: »

Why does a lot of people assume everyone works in an office?

This is After Hours.

Everyone makes wild assumptions and no one works (in offices).


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.
.
.

.............................. :pac:

Cienciano

My mate shagged a manager and she was so drunk she pissed on him while she was on top of him having sex. A different time, the same girl pissed herself when she was out having a smoke.

One of my mates said there was a scottish guy at his christmas party. He was wearing a kilt, and of course, nothing under it. But he got ****faced, and later on he fell backwards off his chair. He was lying on the ground, kilt over his head with everything on display. He couldn't get up cos his feet were still up on the chair.

hungry hippo 4

bodhrandude wrote: »

Slightly off topic, this is what I heard about a wedding do, the groom who was fairly scuttered went to do a number 2 in the loo and forgot to remove his underpants. So when he went to join the bride on the dance floor there was keech running down his leg heh heh.

hahaha, I know a guy from Tallaght who went the jacks in McDonalds. Went for a **** not realising that the seat was down and shat all over it. Being drunk he eventually sat back in it and fell asleep hahaha. His friends found a smelly mess.

StewartGriffin

Banjo String wrote: »

The above + username = watch show too much.

What show?

herisson

There was loads of free drink at my last one. I got twisted and one of my managers ended up catching me being finger banged by a randomer.

Thankfully, i dont do that anymore. Nor do i look her in the eye.

IvaBigWun

Title amended.

Now with extra non office party-ness.

Mint Aero

Cienciano wrote: »

My mate shagged a manager and she was so drunk she pissed on him while she was on top of him having sex. A different time, the same girl pissed herself when she was out having a smoke.

Sorry but it sounds like she has undiagnosed bladder issues. get her a trip to the docs for xmas.

Banjo String

StewartGriffin wrote: »

What show?

Cosby.

Cienciano

anncoates wrote: »

Gave a very annoying workmate a slap.

Amazingly didn't get sacked for it.

I think everybody else hated her anyway.

Was expecting to read it like that for some reason

Cienciano

Mint Aero wrote: »

Sorry but it sounds like she has undiagnosed bladder issues. get her a trip to the docs for xmas.

No, we treat it in a far more professional way. We laugh at her behind her back.

The Backwards Man

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Title amended.

Now with extra non office party-ness.

Change it to job party. Some of us have jobs but that doesn't mean we do any work.:pac:

Mint Aero

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Title amended.

Now with extra non office party-ness.

That's it, leave the riff raff in :rolleyes: be all stories of bottles in the anus now :rolleyes:

StewartGriffin

herisson wrote: »

There was loads of free drink at my last one. I got twisted and one of my managers ended up catching me being finger banged by a randomer.

This remind me of how I met my wife.

Romance is so subjective.

We thought it was a beautiful moment and I have composed 8 sonnets and a song about it.

anncoates

Cienciano wrote: »

Was expecting to read it like that for some reason

From top to bottom?

hungry hippo 4

herisson wrote: »

There was loads of free drink at my last one. I got twisted and one of my managers ended up catching me being finger banged by a randomer.

Thankfully, i dont do that anymore. Nor do i look her in the eye.

ahahaha gas. She thinks of it every time she's looks at you and then mumbles dirty bitch :pac:

IvaBigWun

I think one of the most major feckups of the work Christmas party is the drunken 'romantic' liaisons that often go on between colleagues.

I wonder how many people end up quitting their jobs in the New Year through embarrassment of roiding the wrong person?

hungry hippo 4

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I think one of the most major feckups of the work Christmas party is the drunken 'romantic' liaisons that often go on between colleagues.

I wonder how many people end up quitting their jobs in the New Year through embarrassment of roiding the wrong person?

dump her just before she falls in love with ya :P

IvaBigWun

herisson wrote: »

There was loads of free drink at my last one. I got twisted and one of my managers ended up catching me being finger banged by a randomer.

Thankfully, i dont do that anymore. Nor do i look her in the eye.

Is "finger banged" a culchie thing?

cletus van damme

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I think one of the most major feckups of the work Christmas party is the drunken 'romantic' liaisons that often go on between colleagues.

I wonder how many people end up quitting their jobs in the New Year through embarrassment of roiding the wrong person?

seen plenty of that carry on but no resignations thereafter.

irish bloke

anncoates wrote: »

Gave a very annoying workmate a slap.

Amazingly didn't get sacked for it.

I think everybody else hated him anyway.

You should have been sacked..

razorblunt

Was in college with a guy who was the the biggest idiot I've ever met. Had a temp job at Xmas and was leaving the restaurant to go to the nearest pub he walked past a line of cars and kicked off the wing mirror of each. 4th car down was an unmarked squad car with 2 lads inside.
Night in the cells, costs and fired.

Zascar

So this time last year I was leaving my job just around the time of the Christmas party. It was only the beginning of the night but the place was packed and everyone was having a good time. While standing around drinking I accidentally bumped my elbow against someone behind me - I turned around to see that it was my HR Director and I'd spilt her drink straight down her top. Oops... I very apologetic, it was clearly an accident but she was really not happy at all. She tried to joke in a serious way saying "I'm going to have you fired tomorrow" to which I replied "I just handed in my notice today - so please be my guest!!". You should have seen her face...

IvaBigWun

Zascar wrote: »

She tried to joke in a serious way saying "I'm going to have you fired tomorrow" to which I replied "I just handed in my notice today - so please be my guest!!". You should have seen her face...

:pac:

Id have taken a photograph

Cienciano

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Is "finger banged" a culchie thing?

I think its when you let someone stick their finger up your arse

ziedth

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Is "finger banged" a culchie thing?

I heard it on HBO; it means like, you know, when you pretend to use your finger like a gun or something.

uch

I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

razorblunt

FizzleSticks wrote: »

One of the head managers told a group he was talking with while absolutely pissed that he came on some young lad's face, who was also in the room but on the other side. And so was I, raging!

Sounds like he was good at his job though.

anncoates

irish bloke wrote: »

You should have been sacked..

It was years ago and you asked for it.

Get over it.

aujopimur

uch wrote: »

I once photcopied my arse/testicles/boobs

Pics please.

Bogwoppit

aujopimur wrote: »

Pics please.

*Photocopies

DeanAustin

Ended up in the toilets shagging a married woman. We were seen on the dance floor kissing so were the talk of the place on the Monday. Nothing worse than waiting over the weekend to get to work on Monday knowing you're the idiot everyone is whispering about.

In one way, it wasn't my proudest moment. In another, it kinda was.

IvaBigWun

DeanAustin wrote: »

Nothing worse than waiting over the weekend to get to work on Monday knowing you're the idiot everyone is whispering about.

I would imagine the husband of the wife having the arse rode off her in a toilet felt worse

Specialun

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I would imagine the husband of the wife having the arse rode off her in a toilet felt worse

Reminds me of the father ted quote "ive had my fun and thats all that matters"

danniemcq

Not me but workmate stole a shopping cart then had to leave it back then started arguing with bouncer, started a fight with the christmas tree before being tackled by the other bouncers and dragged outside and pinned to the ground before the boss of the company came and put him in a taxi.

Or the guy who didn't see the tiny outside seat and tripped over it and because his hands were in his pockets the only way he could break his fall was headbutting the ground. The ground won!