Being told someone is dead on the telephone.

Cold Chocolate

I've only ever been told once when my friend died, but to this day any phone call at an unusual hour makes my stomach flip.

anyone else know what im talking about.

MurdyWurdy

Yep - a phone call very late at night or early in the morning can only bring bad news

Or sometimes drunk news as well I suppose!

LoonyLovegood

Yup. I remember being woken up by the phone in my parents bedroom ringing at 5am telling them my grandad died. Any calls after 11 always put the heart across me.

Paddy Fields

I was living in Thailand when my mother died and my brother-in-law rang me. I knew from his tone what was coming and I nearly collapsed.

Ledger

Yeah it's terrible. I've been on both sides of this, on the same night

Gmol

Yep had 3 of those calls the first one was the worst as she died very young, it was the only time in my life I have collapsed with shock

Banjo String

I've had the opposite happen to me before too.

Rang a customer one day, receptionist answers the phone.
Me, Hi can I speak to such and such.
Receptionist, can I ask who's calling?
Me, yeah its me from such and such a company.
Receptionist, I'm sorry, (voice trembles) he was killed at the weekend in a motorbike accident.

Knocked the stuffing out of me for the rest of the week. I had developed a good working relationship with the man over a couple of years.

Loaded1973

Yep, Received a call saying my step dad had died, but they used his first name, which is the same as my sons...I collapsed to the ground in shock, then felt awful for being relieved when I was told it was my step dad and not my son.

foxyboxer

I worked in the UK for a while about 6 years ago.
I would usually go home every week or two.

I left my phone in the bedroom one night, and when I went to bed, I noticed 13 missed calls from my younger brother. So yes got the stomach churn going pretty good.

I rang him back with pure dread.

"Are you coming home this weekend?"

:mad::mad::mad:

Eejit. F*cked him out of it.

bodhrandude

foxyboxer wrote: »

I worked in the UK for a while about 6 years ago.
I would usually go home every week or two.

I left my phone in the bedroom one night, and when I went to bed, I noticed 13 missed calls from my younger brother. So yes got the stomach churn going pretty good.

I rang him back with pure dread.

"Are you coming home this weekend?"

:mad::mad::mad:

Eejit. F*cked him out of it.

Ya cheered me up there, good stuff. No offence to anyone else, its quite a sombre thread and I feel for everyone of you out there, I've had my fair share of this too.

jester77

Late night calls can be awful, it's either some awful news or a booty call.

afatbollix

Its worse walking up and checking facebook on the bus finding out your aunt or cousin has died.

Was also told through a forum that a good mate was killed. That was really **** to be honest.

Starscream25

Ya I got a call from a friend saying that another friend and classmate had died, we were around 16 at the time, needless to say I bawled my eyes out. 20 minutes later he rang me back saying oh I actually saw him in town a while ago, it was his dad with the same name that had in fact died.

Pumpkinseeds

It's worse when it's a knock on the door in the middle of the night:(

wretcheddomain

Getting a call that the dog died (naturally) can be quite a relief actually given that its expense is lifted from the balance sheet.

Moneymaker

Yup, my sister phoned me last weekend to tell me her husband(marriage was on the rocks) had hung himself. They have a 2 year old son.

I was so stunned I didn't know what to say.

3 days later I still don't. It's something I hope I, or anyone else never has to experience again.

JJJJNR

Yea got a call that someone had died, amazing the coping methods that kicked in, person in question was always a joker so I had convinced myself until I got to the house it was a wind up, or surprise birthday (it was no ones birthday around that date) to the extent of talking to the ambulance driver in a jovial fashion...

Worst feeling ever. A friend told me one of his family members had died and I just froze and because you're not face-to-face you feel like a dick for not saying anything because you're wondering what they're thinking because they can't see that you've just frozen. Obviously later you realise that a few seconds of silence from yourself is the last thing on the person's mind.

The Backwards Man

It's no walk in the park having to make that call either.

FloatingVoter

Made the call from the hospice to my aunt. My dad had passed. Telling her to collect my mum. Then I rang my mother.
The organisational stuff kicks in and you go cold when you're on a deathwatch. Now ten years on, its my mum in the hospice.

MJ23

6.10 in the moring, phone rang, it was the nurse at the hospital to tell me my dad had passed away just moments before. He had been sick 2 months, and we knew it was coming. But still, an awful shock.
That was in April, still think about him an awful lot.

smurgen

Yes,during the summer.my mother rang me of a Friday the June bank holiday weekend as I was leaving work. Her younger sister,my aunt had just killed herself and my mother was asking me to come home.there was a calmness in her voice and the sun was splitting the stones,everything about it contrasted horrifically with the news I was after being told.I didn't know what to do with myself.

tomboylady

My stomach lurches if certain family members call me because I know they're not calling for a friendly chat.

A few years ago I was heading home for the weekend and got a phone call while I was in the bus station to say my Dad had suffered a heart attack. Then proceeded to tell me that he wasn't expected to make it. That was one hell of a long 5-hour bus journey. Thankfully he made it but the dread in the pit of my stomach for that entire journey is something I will never forget.

mike65

Banjo String wrote: »

I've had the opposite happen to me before too.

Rang a customer one day, receptionist answers the phone.
Me, Hi can I speak to such and such.
Receptionist, can I ask who's calling?
Me, yeah its me from such and such a company.
Receptionist, I'm sorry, (voice trembles) he was killed at the weekend in a motorbike accident.

Knocked the stuffing out of me for the rest of the week. I had developed a good working relationship with the man over a couple of years.

I had to make a call to the company my late father supplied with a regular part. I could hear the jolt at the other end. The only time I received such a call it was half expected (Granny) so not a shock just a bit sad (had not seen her in many a year).

sadie06

I had to make about 10 of these calls when my little sister died. It was very difficult, but it had to be done. It is actually very worrying, as you then fear for the safety of those that have received the news, particularly if they have to get in the car and drive.

Brego888

Got a phone call earlier this year at about 1am. Saw it was a girl I worked with and thought it was strange her ringing at that hour. Anyway I answer the phone and she breathlessly goes on to tell me that she just had a baby. I congratulate her, still scratching my head as to why I needed a call to share this news as I barely knew her.

Turns out her brother has the same name as me and I was the 2nd person after her mother to be informed of her new arrival!

hfallada

The worse was when my parents phoned a tenant to say they were going to collect rent. And the tenant said i cant as in John of Gods, I woke up during the middle of night finding john hanging in the doorway. He tried to kill himself.

How do you reply to that?

SV

Yep, just at the end of a long day and had just got asleep when my mother rang to let me know that the hospital and rang and my granny was in a critical condition and she was already on the way.
I left straight away and drove to the hospital, 30 minutes drive but I got there in 15, when I arrived I was told she had died 5 minutes previously. Broke my heart, she was a second mother to me.

What's weird is I remember absolutely none of the car drive down and the next couple of days were a blur.

Vinz Mesrine

hfallada wrote: »

The worse was when my parents phoned a tenant to say they were going to collect rent. And the tenant said i cant as in John of Gods, I woke up during the middle of night finding john hanging in the doorway. He tried to kill himself.

How do you reply to that?

He did or he tried to?

R.D. aka MR.D

I'd gotten a few missed calls late one night from a friend i hadn't seen in a while and just ignored as i thought it probably wasn't anything serious. Was in work for 11 hours the next day, when i got back out to the car i had a good few more missed calls from another friends house number. i sent that friend a text to ask was it them that was looking for me and by the time that i had driven home, my friend's mother had rang and left a voice mail message saying that a good friend of mine had died.

I definitely look at missed calls in a different way since then.

we'llallhavetea

such a feel good thread :P

first call was when a classmate had been killed in a car accident, fairly horrendous. second was when my nana died, i knew she was going so it wasn't as much of a shock.

actually no, the second was when my dad phoned me to tell me my beautiful perfect dog had died he was 19 but was still absolutely mental, never slowed down, the only indication of his age was his dashing silver chin hair. i miss my fred

Overheal

Cold Chocolate wrote: »

I've only ever been told once when my friend died, but to this day any phone call at an unusual hour makes my stomach flip.

anyone else know what im talking about.

yep, 3am call. Never any good news at 3am.

The interesting part was a few months before I got the call I had a premonitory dream about the call, about waking up in the exact same way, in a bed I'd never been in before, and basically just being told, "She's dead Overheal"

As it turned out the bed was an apartment I had moved into for college for the fall semester. And to this day I have trouble wondering if I really had a premonition, or if in the shock of the moment my brain shot through an entire months-long deja vu within the space of 2 seconds.

Kablamo!

My uncle N was quite sick and we knew he wouldn't make it.
Out of nowhere, my father, P, had a heart attack and died. Very unexpectedly.

I was left with the job of ringing family and friends which was made more difficult by people insisting I was confused and P couldn't be dead, N was. Was awful.

seosamh1980

Not phonecalls, but I was once texting a friend asking if she was still coming to this charity waxing thing Saturday night. She text back (and must've been in shock) and said that she was really sorry that she wouldn't be able to make it but her partner had just killed himself I rang her and it had literally only been about 3 hours since it happened, she kept apologising for not being able to come

Another one that wasn't over the phone but was a very big shock. About 3 years ago when a lot of people I knew still weren't on facebook I was searching for old college friends. I found one guy that was an absolute dote and sent him a friend request straight away. Got all excited about seeing how he was getting on. Then I realised the next page that came up under his name was a memorial page, he had died by suicide months earlier. At the time I had actually heard that it was his brother who died, and had been thinking God poor *Dave, must be tough on him

Sometimes my mum rings me at 1am if she's been out late or didn't see the time, or hadn't called me all day, always makes my heart jump, afraid it's about my Grandad

whirlpool

Cold Chocolate wrote: »

I've only ever been told once when my friend died, but to this day any phone call at an unusual hour makes my stomach flip.

anyone else know what im talking about.

I was 200 miles away when I was told on the phone that one of my good friends had killed herself. I was in London when I was told on the phone that my dog had been put down. And I was in Toronto when I was told that my grandad who helped raise me was in a coma and had days to live.

All those calls were from my mam, so now when I see her calling me I panic a tad....

sadie06

An interesting question this thread raises is one of the wisdom of putting your phone on silent at night time. This very topic was raised amongst friends recently, where it was revealed that many of them put their phone on silent. All of our parents are in their late 60's and early 70's. When I said that I would be worried that my parents would need me, or that I would miss an important call of the nature being discussed here, I was accused of being a glass half empty person.

Now I can't deny, I am a glass half empty person but I still think I'm in the right here.

hedzball

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It's no walk in the park having to make that call either.

My mother went missing for 2 days before we found her..

My brother rang me at about 11.30pm one night telling me to come home..

I asked was she dead have you found her etc? He just said come on home ..

Garda car at the bottom of the drive kind of ended what glimmer of hope I had




'hdz

Thoie

sadie06 wrote: »

An interesting question this thread raises is one of the wisdom of putting your phone on silent at night time. This very topic was raised amongst friends recently, where it was revealed that many of them put their phone on silent. All of our parents are in their late 60's and early 70's. When I said that I would be worried that my parents would need me, or that I would miss an important call of the nature being discussed here, I was accused of being a glass half empty person.

Now I can't deny, I am a glass half empty person but I still think I'm in the right here.

I have an app on my phone that automatically puts it on silent during certain hours (which I've set to be different between weeknights and weekend nights), but I can exclude certain people. So if any of my immediate family phone at any time it will ring, but not friends.

Guill

Remember my parents getting that call twice when I was younger, my Dad never answered the phone since! Got it once then myself, my brother In-law had killed himself, my wife had to be told. Even though I got my call at 6pm I dread the phone ringing after about 10pm.

FloatingVoter

sadie06 wrote: »

An interesting question this thread raises is one of the wisdom of putting your phone on silent at night time. This very topic was raised amongst friends recently, where it was revealed that many of them put their phone on silent. All of our parents are in their late 60's and early 70's. When I said that I would be worried that my parents would need me, or that I would miss an important call of the nature being discussed here, I was accused of being a glass half empty person.

Now I can't deny, I am a glass half empty person but I still think I'm in the right here.

Grownup people understand if your call goes to voicemail at 2 or 3 AM in the morning. That is - serious people with important messages do. Halfwits falling out of pubs with nothing better to do than make noise may think you're stuck up. Rest easy, silent type.

angelfire9

Was in the hospital with the hubby (after a suspected MI) and got a call from my father asking me to go home as my gran had just died
That was a rough weekend

Was living in Germany years ago when the Polizei came to the door at 3am looking for me frightened the living day lights outta me (this was before mobile phones) I was relieved to get bad news I thought I was being arrested :rolleyes:

markc1184

Not so much a call along the lines of others here but we were in England on holidays, my parents staying with some relatives and I stayed with their son. I didn't have a mobile at the time so the house got a call at 530 in the morning to say my dad had had a heart attack and that we had to get to Blackburn quick as possible. My aunt that phoned had told my cousin to prepare me for the worst because he was in such a state by the time we had got there the chances were he would have passed. Every emotion possible came over me on the journey to Blackburn. Eventually got to the hospital not knowing what to expect only to be greeted by my dad sitting in the bed eating toast having made a miraculous recovery compared to how he was a couple of hours earlier.

Being woken up by the phone call to my cousin is still the worst I've ever felt following a phone call.

seosamh1980

I leave my phone sound on all night because of this, both my parents live alone (only in their 50's) as does my Grandad, so I couldn't put it on silent for fear of missing something.

My husband went off for a cycle one evening this summer, said he'd be back at about 9pm. At about 8.45 a police car pulled up outside our front wall, I saw the blue lights reflecting in the mirror, turned around and saw the car and nearly threw up, was convinced he was either seriously injured or dead after an accident. Then the guard got out...and walked off in front of the car. They were following another car and had stopped it, couldn't see it because of the hedges. Husband said when he rounded the corner down the road on his way back he saw the squad and knew straight away what I would've been thinking. Burst out crying when he came in the door

donkey balls

It has happened to me five times were I got phone calls about a friends death and then I would have to be the person making the call to inform others especially calls at night.

Amalgam

Late 90s and I was using a pager, an Eircom (Philips) 'Myna' so that I could be paged in case of issues relating to my late Father's illness (cancer).

There was a, 'things are dire' number, I think a row of 8888 or something similar. I remember getting that number early on a Sunday morning and it was like someone had dunked me into icy water. I just went numb, physically and mentally.

Cycling out to St Vincents from town. Pure dread. Something that you know will not get better. Cycling towards a death in progress.

Novella

I was in the US visiting my boyfriend in September. I had just been there for three days when my mum called me to tell me that my grandad was very sick. We were really close so I booked a flight home. The next day I was going through Security in the airport. My phone rang while I was in the queue and my mam told me that my grandad had just passed away. I spent the next 18 hours on flights, just looking out the window with tears dripping down my face or walking through airports in an absolute blur.

I returned to America a few days after my grandads' funeral and I received another phone call to say that my uncle had had a heart attack and died.

emz8

Some dip**** neighbour put up on facebook about ambulances and firebridgades and 'something big going on' beside his house. I seen it and then got the dreaded phonecall 10 minutes later.
A friend of mine then messaged him telling him to take it down because my brother was away and we couldn't get in touch with him, we were afriad he would go on facebook and see, and he refused to. Insensitive little prick.

Tea Tree

yes I got a phonecall yesterday from someone I would only get a call from if there is something wrong I answered the phone and just started babbling because I didnt want to hear it. The news wasnt good but could have been worse (hospital but not serious). Can't have been easy for him to make the call either.

Ted_YNWA

Been on both sides of these phonecalls.

Grandfather was in hospital with nothing overly serious.

Phone call from mother @ 7.10 or so, saying he was dying. she was on way in. phone call from father @ 7.20 saying he had died. Was out on the beer the night before & sobered up pretty quick.

Second was a friends mother that was expected, got a call off another friend, early in the morning as well.
I then rang a few of the other lad who were working further afield to break the news. Not an easy call to make, hard to know what to say.

kilroywuzere

My dad (55) had already lost both parents and a brother when he was called and told his last brother and sibling died of a heart attack. He never answers the phone now and when it rings says its not for him.
Breaks my heart.

knucklehead6

This topic always makes me fearful. Not because of being the one who gets the call. I know that someday I'll have to make that call to my brother. He lives in New Zealand. I just hope that when I do have to make the call that he has enough time to come home first.