Penalty points for alleged use of phone

fatherted09

I was pulled over by a Garda who believed that I was on my mobile phone, which I was wasn't, had my hand to the side of my head. I contested it with and said I shouldn't have lied to him so I was going to receive penalty points. I phoned my service provider to get my itemised bill but they only give you out going calls. Is it worth my while to go to court and get the judge to subpoena the incoming calls.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Sarky

Legends of the Boards really isn't the place to find legal advice.

The Cuckoo's Nest, on the other hand, is staffed by the finest baristas in the business, they'll no doubt have you right as rain in a jiffy.

Princess Peach

I'll be the bailif!

Cuckoo's Court is now in Session!!!

All rise for the dishonerable Judge Sarky.

The defendant Father Ted09 is here to contest his penalty points. Will the solicitor for the defense please make themselves known to the court.

Sarky

Here, your honour.

Princess Peach

The court recognizes Barrister Whiskerson for the defense.

Will the prosecution please make themselves known to the court.

Sarky

...


...


<sound of panic from outside>

...


...


<doors burst open>



Here! I'm here! Sorry I'm late, your honour, there was a crazy man in the toilets and-

Sarky

Yes, yes, never mind all that, can we get on with it please? Bailiff, if you'd be so good..?

Princess Peach

Court is now in session. Please make sure all phones are on silent and crying babies locked in the car.

Does anyone have an opening statement on this matter.

Anyone at all?

Sarky

I would like to preface these proceedings by saying that I am in a particularly foul mood today after a botched surgical procedure on my prostate. Let the record show that I will take a very dim view indeed of either prosecution or defense trying to waste my time, or making me think about water.

Princess Peach

Let's hear it for the judge!

Arrroooooooga Aroooooooooga The crowd goes wild!

The prosecution calls their first witness to the stand THE ARRESTING OFFICER!!

Dun Dun Dun

Please approach the stand for the oath.

Sarky

Howayez judge?

Princess Peach

Put one hand on you heart and the other on this VHS of Star Wars Holiday Special signed by Stephen Segal.

Do you swear to play the flute, the brass flute and nothing but the flute, so help me Glob?

Sarky

Ah, I suppose I will, yeh.

Chucken

Pfffttt! A cat playing the flute, I never saw anything so ridiculous!

hallo dare

can you not just print off your out and incoming calls from your providers website?

hallo dare

can you not just print off your out and incoming calls from your providers website?

Chucken

hallo dare wrote: »

can you not just print off your out and incoming calls from your providers website?

hallo dare wrote: »

can you not just print off your out and incoming calls from your providers website?

See, its this kind of "logic "that has us where we are.

Princess Peach

hallo dare wrote: »

can you not just print off your out and incoming calls from your providers website?

Objection!!

Order in the court!!

No speaking unless on the stand.

Chucken

I'm trying my best to stand her wordlyship

Princess Peach

Court is called to recess. Everyone take a gravy break.

Chucken

Where is the gravy?
On the train?

Sarky

<bangs hammer>

Court is back in session. Prosecution, get on with it, I have a rapist to slap on the wrist and a murdering property developer to clear of all charges.

Chucken

Wohooo! Friday session!!!:cool:

Sarky

IT IS THURSDAY! SIT DOWN OR I'LL HAVE THE BAILIFF SEND YOU TO THE ACID MINES!

<bangs gavel off Chucken's head>

Star Lord

Yore honour, the prosecution would like to submit into evidence the phone in question:

Also, I find myself in contempt.

wil

Rebuttal M'Lurd

Calling a witness for the defence.

In your expurt opinion Dr Snufulupagus, how fluffy am I?

TeddyTedson

Was it a phone or an iPhone?

Chucken

Chucken wrote: »

Wohooo! Friday session!!!:cool:

.

Sarky

...





... sustained. THIS TIME.


So has the defence anything to add?

Greenmachine

brrrr-ring

*hits silent

Chucken

Da fence is tired and has asked for an adjourment while he has a snooze.

Princess Peach

Sorry, I got locked in the fridge during that first recess.

I think we were here...

WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY AS CHARGED.

The penalty for this crime is death by custard pie!!

Quixoticelixer

I think this thread needs to be moved back to Legends of the Boards now, I vote YES!!

C.K Dexter Haven

Princess Peach wrote: »

Sorry, I got locked in the fridge during that first recess.

I think we were here...

WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY AS CHARGED.

The penalty for this crime is death by custard pie!!

I call Miss Trial: