Jan and Klödi's Party Bus

The tax man

The look on their faces.:eek:

buffalo

Dermot Illogical wrote: »

http://www.visualnews.com/2013/10/10/bringing-sexy-back-biking-high-heeled-biking-shoes/

I've been trying to figure out how to look even less Euro on the bike than ever, and I think I've found it!

allez

There was a point i wanted to improve performance but i now realise its all fruitless, what i really wanna do is improve my image. Basically for a fred like myself there has been a few issues in this post that need answering.

At what point does lycra become too tight and too colourful?
Is it wrong that sometimes i adopt a cycling position while in front of a mirror naked to analyse the definition in my legs and whether or not my stomach tucks in enough?
Is it wrong to take selfies with my hand behind my head to show off my road rash scars?
Is wham, duran duran and venga boys acceptable turbo training music?
Is it ok to imagine yourself in the third person while cycling and wonder do i look pro enough?
Are my fake 'Oakleys' yay or nay? will the guys at the cafe stop even really know?
Net app endura cap with movistar jersey?

Raam

allez wrote: »

There was a point i wanted to improve performance but i now realise its all fruitless, what i really wanna do is improve my image. Basically for a fred like myself there has been a few issues in this post that need answering.

At what point does lycra become too tight and too colourful?
Is it wrong that sometimes i adopt a cycling position while in front of a mirror naked to analyse the definition in my legs and whether or not my stomach tucks in enough?
Is it wrong to take selfies with my hand behind my head to show off my road rash scars?
Is wham, duran duran and venga boys acceptable turbo training music?
Is it ok to imagine yourself in the third person while cycling and wonder do i look pro enough?
Are my fake 'Oakleys' yay or nay? will the guys at the cafe stop even really know?
Net app endura cap with movistar jersey?

What is this, a quiz?

Lusk_Doyle

allez wrote: »

There was a point i wanted to improve performance but i now realise its all fruitless, what i really wanna do is improve my image. Basically for a fred like myself there has been a few issues in this post that need answering.

At what point does lycra become too tight and too colourful?
Is it wrong that sometimes i adopt a cycling position while in front of a mirror naked to analyse the definition in my legs and whether or not my stomach tucks in enough?
Is it wrong to take selfies with my hand behind my head to show off my road rash scars?
Is wham, duran duran and venga boys acceptable turbo training music?
Is it ok to imagine yourself in the third person while cycling and wonder do i look pro enough?
Are my fake 'Oakleys' yay or nay? will the guys at the cafe stop even really know?
Net app endura cap with movistar jersey?

If you find yourself needing questions like this answered then there is no hope for you. Give up now and become a triathlete.

petethedrummer

@allez... If you were doing it right, you wouldn't have to ask.

RobFowl

allez wrote: »

There was a point i wanted to improve performance but i now realise its all fruitless, what i really wanna do is improve my image. Basically for a fred like myself there has been a few issues in this post that need answering.

At what point does lycra become too tight and too colourful?
If you have to ask then it already has.

Is it wrong that sometimes i adopt a cycling position while in front of a mirror naked to analyse the definition in my legs and whether or not my stomach tucks in enough?
No

Is it wrong to take selfies with my hand behind my head to show off my road rash scars?
No

Is wham, duran duran and venga boys acceptable turbo training music?
No (ok for massage though, ask Nico), God No and Yes

Is it ok to imagine yourself in the third person while cycling and wonder do i look pro enough?
No, if you have to think about looking Pro you just don't have it....

Are my fake 'Oakleys' yay or nay? will the guys at the cafe stop even really know?
Nay and Yay

Net app endura cap with movistar jersey?
Rule #17
Team kit is for members of the team.

allez

petethedrummer wrote: »

@allez... If you were doing it right, you wouldn't have to ask.

Ive been doubting my ability and lost all self confidence since loosing 4 KOM's last week. Im not sure i can be a real cyclist, I just want to get onto the party bus and have fun.

dave_o_brien

At what point does lycra become too tight and too colourful?



Is it wrong that sometimes i adopt a cycling position while in front of a mirror naked to analyse the definition in my legs and whether or not my stomach tucks in enough?

If these are yours, then no:



Is it wrong to take selfies with my hand behind my head to show off my road rash scars?

Selfies? We do nothing alone, except win.



Is wham, duran duran and venga boys acceptable turbo training music?

No, yes and never.


Is it ok to imagine yourself in the third person while cycling and wonder do i look pro enough?


Why? If you are confused, simply look more like this:



Are my fake 'Oakleys' yay or nay? will the guys at the cafe stop even really know?

If they don't know, you don't want to know them.

Net app endura cap with movistar jersey?

Chips Lovell

Uh oh:

The UCI has introduced a minor rule change that will prohibit riders from racing on footpaths, cycle paths and tracks during races.

Riders often jump off the road, cut across roundabouts and use the footpath to gain a slight advantage, especially in the Classics in northern Europe.

Feck that. It's part of bike racing.

Darkglasses

Vladimir Kurtains wrote: »

Uh oh:


Feck that. It's part of bike racing.

Meh, I'll get over it. There have been some moments this season that were just a bit too hairy. It's the way all sports have to go.

Plus, there's also the fact that rules like these are generally enforced with a large amount of leniency. See drafting behind team cars.

buffalo

Vladimir Kurtains wrote: »

Uh oh:


Feck that. It's part of bike racing.

Was reading about that the other day, saw this great footage. Would've been avoidable if the spectators had been slightly more aware.

manafana

Darkglasses wrote: »

Meh, I'll get over it. There have been fairly hairy moments this season.

Plus, there's also the fact that rules like these are generally enforced with a large amount of leniency. See drafting behind team cars.

yeah had its hairy moments last season, they put barriers up in cobble sections to make them ride the cobbles, also dug trenches on side of cobble sections to stop them riding the smooth stuff.

petethedrummer

It's political correctness gone mad. Hi-viz for the pro peloton will be the next thing.

Dermot Illogical

3rd time to wear my new lime top and the zip has broken.
It's back to full euro pink for me.

Lusk_Doyle

Dermot Illogical wrote: »

3rd time to wear my new lime top and the zip has broken.
It's back to full euro pink for me.

That's what you get for trying to fight it!

doozerie

Is there room on the bus for non-cycling sexiness?:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR1kALejfo8

...okay, maybe sexiness is a stretch too far, let's just call it oddly impressive scantily clad antics.

allez

doozerie wrote: »

Is there room on the bus for non-cycling sexiness?:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR1kALejfo8

...okay, maybe sexiness is a stretch too far, let's just call it oddly impressive scantily clad antics.

Lather him up in chamois cream and get him a back seat i'd say

laraghrider

buffalo wrote: »

Was reading about that the other day, saw this great footage. Would've been avoidable if the spectators had been slightly more aware.

In fairness he was cycling in the cycle lane. This could get messy.

Captain Havoc

laraghrider wrote: »

In fairness he was cycling in the cycle lane. This could get messy.

It would also have been avoidable if it was Ireland as the cycle lane would be the one with all the trees in it, thus allowing the footpath to be further out.

niceonetom

The only time I would even consider using an offroad cycle-lane is if I was racing and it offered me an opportunity to move up or take a shorter line. Now the UCI is saying that's not on.

BRING BACK MCQUAID!

Lusk_Doyle

Captain Havoc wrote: »

It would also have been avoidable if it was Ireland as the cycle lane would be the one with all the trees in it, thus allowing the footpath to be further out.

Footpad. That is all.

Chips Lovell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifSoIWbQtlM

buffalo

Watched that last night, was not what I expected.

Also, I'm not in it. Huzzah!

RobFowl

Vladimir Kurtains wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifSoIWbQtlM

He included Laurent Fignon!!!!

Burn him.................................

ROK ON

Fignon in the Castorama or Chateau Dax kit - that man had panache!!

Sort if disappointed that Mapei didn't make it. It's the fashion disasters in cycling that actually have the interesting kit.

rollingscone

Vladimir Kurtains wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifSoIWbQtlM

GCN is made of fail. I have never not regretted watching one of their asinine videos.

Chips Lovell

Fignon. Great bike rider but he never looked good.

The Mapei kit was always class.

niceonetom

Vladimir Kurtains wrote: »

Fignon. Great bike rider but he never looked good.

I beg to differ.



Yes, he's on his way to losing the TDF, but he did it like fcuking rockstar. Double discs. Pony tail. 53.59kph avg. He was the last of his kind, the last professor of the old school, and that tour was the first casualty of the dorkification of cycling.

ROK ON

Vladimir Kurtains wrote: »

The Mapei kit was always class.

I hav a full kit down to the socks. If the jersey wasn't so fuppin big in my I would wear it at club league.
I may just go Cadel style and wear it with the maglio rosa ;-)