Would you date/marry a transgender person?

DColeman

Following the story of Bradley Manning now changing her name to Chelsea manning and formally changing her sex. I'm just wondering whether people would consider dating/marrying a transgender person at all?

Some would say that they couldn't get around the fact that the person used to be the same sex as them and find it offputing. Others would say that would be quite bigoted to refuse to date someone just because they were a transgender.

How would you see it? Would you be comfortable entering a relationship and ultimately marrying a transgender person?

Celly Smunt

Refusing to date a transgender person isn't bigoted.Saying it is almost implies you must accept a date off a transgender person because they're a minority.

SweepTheLeg

I am a straight male so no, I wouldn't date another guy. No matter how much you dress it up.

Stainless_Steel

Who would want to date a chick with a dick?

Muise...

only if I fancied them. Otherwise what's the point?

NegativeCreep

Nope.

Pensivepuca

I went out with a girl before she got the terestorone tablets to start the whole change. Things never worked out between us for different reasons, but I did not really mind her changing gender, she was the same human.

ballsymchugh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2KsZHRrFpU

darced

This post has been deleted.

Stainless_Steel

Pensivepuca wrote: »

I went out with a girl before she got the terestorone tablets to start the whole change. Things never worked out between us for different reasons, but I did not really mind her changing gender, she was the same human.

So you would be bisexual then?

Wibbs

While I'd have great sympathy for a person trapped in the wrong body for them(I can't even begin to imagine that), I have to be honest and say no I wouldn't.

anncoates

Don't think I could, no.

Wibbs

Though I do love what Lemmy from Motorhead once said after he slept with a transgender woman "if she's go the balls to cut hers off, I got the balls to sleep with her". If Lemmy's "gay" I'm an albino marmoset called Tony.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

I don't really understand the transgender thought process I have to admit. I can see how somebody would be gay or bisexual, that makes some sense, but how do you know that you were born the "wrong" gender? I mean if you are born male, you obviously have no idea what its like to be female so how do you know that is correct for you? Please forgive my ignorance on the topic but I do genuinely want to understand it.

Celly Smunt

Mallory Nutty Brass wrote: »

I don't really understand the transgender thought process I have to admit. I can see how somebody would be gay or bisexual, that makes some sense, but how do you know that you were born the "wrong" gender? I mean if you are born male, you obviously have no idea what its like to be female so how do you know that is correct for you? Please forgive my ignorance on the topic but I do genuinely want to understand it.

Some boys like Action Men,other boys like Barbies.Laymans terms.

limitedIQ

What about if you met an absolute stunner with a great personality, started going out, everything is going great, amazing sex life and then a year later they told you they used be be a man.

Would you end it immediately ?

Nodster

I would in me ballhawks

Celly Smunt

limitedIQ wrote: »

What about if you met an absolute stunner with a great personality, started going out, everything is going great, amazing sex life and then a year later they told you they used be be a man.

Would you end it immediately ?

The big hands and feet would be a bit off putting for me from the start.

Pensivepuca

Stainless_Steel wrote: »

So you would be bisexual then?

I don't think so/know? I am female, and am attracted to females, but to tomboyish females, so a transgender from female to male is still on the cards to me. Not sure if that is exactly bi?

Galaxie

I wouldn't, no.

anncoates

I would consult the definitive manual for these situations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OP5EnaaYjQ

Terry1985

No, for a start where is the foetus going to gestate? in a shoebox?

wil

OP, you seem to have discriminated against transgender persons by not including them in your poll. Thin edge?

Clandestine

Maybe. I guess how well they pass would be a factor, and how far along into the process they were.

Celly Smunt

wil wrote: »

OP, you seem to have discriminated against transgender persons by not including them in your poll. Thin edge?

A transgender person is either male or female.

ericl

A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, "I must confess, darling, I used to be a hooker."

He says, "That's alright, dear. Your past is your past but, I must admit, I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it."

She replies, "Well, my name was Nigel and I played for Wigan."

stoneill

Roy Cropper had no probs marrying Haley from Coronation Street

awec

No, I wouldn't. And that is not remotely bigoted.

If it emerged years later that a partner was transgender then yes, I would end it.

shopaholic01

stoneill wrote: »

Roy Cropper had no probs marrying Haley from Coronation Street

It would have been fantastic if they had actually cast a transgender in the role, she's a very popular character.

Esoteric_

Some of the transphobic comments here are horrible.


As to the original question - I really don't know. I've never been faced with that situation. I'd like to imagine that it wouldn't stop me from liking a person in a romantic way, but at the same time, transitioning from male to female, or vice versa, is bound to have a huge impact on the person's life. I would be worried that there could be underlying mental health issues, NOT (I'd like to stress) from the transition itself, but perhaps from the mental torture of spending X amount of their life in the wrong body.

In an ideal world, I'd say yes. But I don't know how I'd react if faced with the situation. I don't think that the person's previous biological gender would affect me as such, moreso any mental or emotional implications that come with that.

Edit to add - I don't think it's bigoted at all. We all have personal preferences.

Tiddlypeeps

I don't think I would knowingly get into a relationship with someone I knew up front couldn't have kids. I don't want kids right now, but I also don't want that avenue closed off to me completely so I wouldn't take the chance. Nothing to do with the transgender bit.

If I knew for sure I didn't want kids and never would, and the person was totally convincingly male, and obviously assuming I was attracted to them then I would have no problem with it. No idea why the idea seems to creep people out if you really can't tell from looking at the person.

Lyaiera

Muise... wrote: »

only if I fancied them. Otherwise what's the point?

This sums it up for me, and is the only post I can see sense in. No-ones forcing anyone to go out with anyone. If you do fancy someone, find them interesting, get along with them and begin to love them why wouldn't you go out with them?

MadsL

Mallory Nutty Brass wrote: »

I don't really understand the transgender thought process I have to admit. I can see how somebody would be gay or bisexual, that makes some sense, but how do you know that you were born the "wrong" gender? I mean if you are born male, you obviously have no idea what its like to be female so how do you know that is correct for you? Please forgive my ignorance on the topic but I do genuinely want to understand it.

Wait until you meet a hermaphrodite, that'll fry your head. I have a friend who had 'his' female genitals removed as a child but can still achieve female orgasms. He uses a stainless steel rod down his penis to reach a spot that is the nerve endings from where his clitoris used to be.

Dravokivich

Stainless_Steel wrote: »

Who would want to date a chick with a dick?

There's big business for that kind of thing in Thailand.

Brian2208

MadsL wrote: »

Wait until you meet a hermaphrodite, that'll fry your head. I have a friend who had 'his' female genitals removed as a child but can still achieve female orgasms. He uses a stainless steel rod down his penis to reach a spot that is the nerve endings from where his clitoris used to be.

Aaaaand that's enough after hours for me today...

stoneill

MadsL wrote: »

Wait until you meet a hermaphrodite, that'll fry your head. I have a friend who had 'his' female genitals removed as a child but can still achieve female orgasms. He uses a stainless steel rod down his penis to reach a spot that is the nerve endings from where his clitoris used to be.

Jasus....

awec

Lyaiera wrote: »

This sums it up for me, and is the only post I can see sense in. No-ones forcing anyone to go out with anyone. If you do fancy someone, find them interesting, get along with them and begin to love them why wouldn't you go out with them?

Because they used to be the opposite sex and that's something you are never, ever going to get out of your head. It would trump them being interesting, and the getting along with them unfortunately.

I have absolutely no attraction to men personally. The idea of being with someone who used to be a man is in no way appealing to me - in fact it's the total opposite. If I said otherwise I would be lying.

awec

MadsL wrote: »

Wait until you meet a hermaphrodite, that'll fry your head. I have a friend who had 'his' female genitals removed as a child but can still achieve female orgasms. He uses a stainless steel rod down his penis to reach a spot that is the nerve endings from where his clitoris used to be.

What the fcuk? :eek:

Terry1985

MadsL wrote: »

Wait until you meet a hermaphrodite, that'll fry your head. I have a friend who had 'his' female genitals removed as a child but can still achieve female orgasms. He uses a stainless steel rod down his penis to reach a spot that is the nerve endings from where his clitoris used to be.

that explains the recent 'fork down their penis' x-ray that was in the media last week.

krudler

shopaholic01 wrote: »

It would have been fantastic if they had had actually cast a transgender in the role, she's a very popular character.

Orange Is The New Black has a transgender playing one, her twin brother plays the same character in the pre-trans flashbacks.

pablomakaveli

I wouldn't and i don't think someone should be criticized for not wanting to either.

Not wanting to date a transgendered person doesn't make you a bigot.

MadsL

stoneill wrote: »

Jasus....

awec wrote: »

What the fcuk? :eek:

Terry1985 wrote: »

that explains the recent 'fork down their penis' x-ray that was in the media last week.

I know, lucky bastard gets two orgasms. Jealous.

1ZRed

darced wrote: »

I'm not gay so no.

Doesn't make you gay. If you were attracted to them you were because they looked like women. Gay men would not be attracted to them because of this, so no, being gay has nothing to do with this really.

Pensivepuca

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I wouldn't and i don't think someone should be criticized for not wanting to either.

Not wanting to date a transgendered person doesn't make you a bigot.

Exactly.
I don't see why people saying 'No I would not date/marry a transgender' is being in anyway a bigot. I would date a female to male transgender but not a male to female, does not mean I don't think a person should not have a relationship, they just would not find it with me in particular.

Sunglasses Ron

1ZRed wrote: »

Doesn't make you gay. If you were attracted to them you were because they looked like women. Gay men would not be attracted to them because of this, so no, being gay has nothing to do with this really.

But a great deal of lesbians are attracted to women that at first glance and even further inspection could pass for being a man, so how does that work?

BillyMitchel

limitedIQ wrote: »

What about if you met an absolute stunner with a great personality, started going out, everything is going great, amazing sex life and then a year later they told you they used be be a man.

Would you end it immediately ?

Yes, because its not something they should of hidden for a year.

Lyaiera

awec wrote: »

Because they used to be the opposite sex and that's something you are never, ever going to get out of your head. It would trump them being interesting, and the getting along with them unfortunately.

I have absolutely no attraction to men personally. The idea of being with someone who used to be a man is in no way appealing to me - in fact it's the total opposite. If I said otherwise I would be lying.

I totally get that and I have no problem with someone not wanting to date a transgender person. I do have a problem with people who have a genuine attraction to a person but hold back because of the way society acts towards transgender people.

You can see it in this thread. "Chick with a dick" "I'm not gay" etc. Those are all bigoted stereotypes of what someone who is transgender is and what a relationship with them means. If there was less of this attitude I'd imagine there would be far more people willing to go out with transgender people. Especially as I know plenty of transgender people who are in quite happy relationships with a partner. (Same sex and opposite sex relationships.)

Annasopra

Celly Smunt wrote: »

A transgender person is either male or female.

No

A trans person can also identify as non binary gender

Annasopra

Tiddlypeeps wrote: »

I don't think I would knowingly get into a relationship with someone I knew up front couldn't have kids. I don't want kids right now, but I also don't want that avenue closed off to me completely so I wouldn't take the chance. Nothing to do with the transgender bit.

If I knew for sure I didn't want kids and never would, and the person was totally convincingly male, and obviously assuming I was attracted to them then I would have no problem with it. No idea why the idea seems to creep people out if you really can't tell from looking at the person.

Em - there are already trans people parenting in Ireland http://www.lgbtdiversity.com/attachments/bde7cf07-2007-4c4b-8dd3-5ec777b0b4b2.PDF

topcatcbr

I think I might as long as they're hot.

I don't consider myself gay as I'm not at all attracted to guys but if I saw a "girl" I was attracted to I don't think the fact I found out they were once a guy would change that.

Galaxie

mango salsa wrote: »

Em - there are already trans people parenting in Ireland http://www.lgbtdiversity.com/attachments/bde7cf07-2007-4c4b-8dd3-5ec777b0b4b2.PDF

I think the poster was referring to having their own biological children with a partner though.