Awkward situations in hospitals

Esoteric_

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Obviously a quick prostate check, which makes sense if you are over 50 and a male? But if not? Then she probably just thought you had an impressive arse.

I'm 24 and female. Impressive isn't the word I'd use to describe my arse, either!

Crea

Had a physio lean over me pushing my arm over my head. He looked straight into my face and said "Don't do this at home, only i'm allowed to hurt you". I went puce and tried not to drool. He was good looking, well built and i'm married way too long.

Esoteric_

Crea wrote: »

Had a physio lean over me pushing my arm over my head. He looked straight into my face and said "Don't do this at home, only i'm allowed to hurt you". I went puce and tried not to drool. He was good looking, well built and i'm married way too long.

Give me his phone number, please and thank you.

shopaholic01

Jesus, where do you all go for physio?

The J Stands for Jay

St. Jimmy wrote: »

Similar thing happened to me at the dentist OP, but it was awkward because of my actions.

When I was 18 I had a tooth pulled, and afterwards I asked the (hot) dental nurse (who was showing some cleavage) to bring me something to wipe the saliva/blood/whatever from all over my face. She hadn't got anything and said I could wipe my face on the bib she was wearing. So I grabbed her and mashed my face into her chest. She looked at me uncomfortably, but with a wry smile on her face, for about 5 seconds in silence. She then left in a hurry and I never saw her again.

My dentist walked up to me a few minutes later and with a mischievous grin proceeded to bro-fist me.

Best dentist visit ever.

If there was an award for dentist visits, this would win.

Pensivepuca

Thatdoesnt looksafe tome AHHHHHHH wrote: »

i think you are overreacting about innocent contact tbh, the nurse was doing her job and happend to push her boobs into yours, same way i had to get some physio on me right ankle before and the physio was leaning over me her boobs brushed my legs , i enjoyed it but it was accidental

I know I am slightly over reacting, my friends said the exact same thing, but even if it was accidental it just felt kinda awkward, because once she noticed the reaction on me she got kinda flustered and embarrassed herself like. And her pulling my back to the right for 2minutes at a time while up against me and then her breasts right up into my face for 2minutes was more than accidental brushing. I guess I would not care normally except I feel bad she felt flustered.

Clandestine

St. Jimmy wrote: »

Similar thing happened to me at the dentist OP, but it was awkward because of my actions.

When I was 18 I had a tooth pulled, and afterwards I asked the (hot) dental nurse (who was showing some cleavage) to bring me something to wipe the saliva/blood/whatever from all over my face. She hadn't got anything and said I could wipe my face on the bib she was wearing. So I grabbed her and mashed my face into her chest. She looked at me uncomfortably, but with a wry smile on her face, for about 5 seconds in silence. She then left in a hurry and I never saw her again.

My dentist walked up to me a few minutes later and with a mischievous grin proceeded to bro-fist me.

Best dentist visit ever.

Yeah, this totally happened.

Son Of A Vidic

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I'm 24 and female. Impressive isn't the word I'd use to describe my arse, either!

Would 'outstanding' be a better fit then?

Esoteric_

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Jesus, where do you all go for physio?

I'm wondering the same! My physio when I had a back/hip injury fcuking annhilated me. There was none of this sexy touching or boob in the face action. Just felt like every time she prodded my back and hip with her fingers, there were knives stabbing at the most painful parts.

Fcuk you all and your sexy physios. :mad:

Esoteric_

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Would 'outstanding' be a better fit then?

'Massive' would be more apt. :pac:

Rayne Wooney

Happened when I was 17, was about to have a shower when I decided to trim down below before a party I was going to, I lost track of time and my friends knocked on the front door when I was halfway through shaving. So I left it and said I'd finish it another time.

A few days later I was in hospital for an operation on my knee, there was 5 or 6 people in the room, nurses and doctors, I was on the operating table, loaded with general anaesthetic and I was out for the count. I woke up in the fúck off mood that happens after a general anaesthetic and I realised that the people in the room were a bit too happy and giggly. It was only later on when I went to the bathroom, when I realised that at some point when I was knocked out the nurses had taken off the shorts I was wearing and under the dressing gown I was stark naked. The doctors and nurses must have had a good laugh when they saw my hair styled manhood.

The rest of that hospital stay was awkward to say the least.

Pensivepuca

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I'm wondering the same! My physio when I had a back/hip injury fcuking annhilated me. There was none of this sexy touching or boob in the face action. Just felt like every time she prodded my back and hip with her fingers, there were knives stabbing at the most painful parts.

Fcuk you all and your sexy physios. :mad:

Oh, I only got that once, other times it 'I am gonna press a muscle on your back area, tell me when it stops hurting'. . Well fúck it never bloody well stops and is like a knife going in! Half my problem is that slight pain is a turn on so physio is kinda a minefield of 'jesus christ your killing me' or 'this is sorta awkward'.

Ace Attorney

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Jesus, where do you all go for physio?

I hope not the same place as i went, that means your all locals :P

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I'm wondering the same! My physio when I had a back/hip injury fcuking annhilated me. There was none of this sexy touching or boob in the face action. Just felt like every time she prodded my back and hip with her fingers, there were knives stabbing at the most painful parts.

Fcuk you all and your sexy physios. :mad:

sounds like you had more pain to deal with i jumped off a roof and landed on me ankle and tore ligaments so was on crutches for like 8 weeks or so, physio wasnt too bad for me so i could enjoy the physios acidental attention :P

Esoteric_

Pensivepuca wrote: »

Oh, I only got that once, other times it 'I am gonna press a muscle on your back area, tell me when it stops hurting'. . Well fúck it never bloody well stops and is like a knife going in! Half my problem is that slight pain is a turn on so physio is kinda a minefield of 'jesus christ your killing me' or 'this is sorta awkward'.

I like a little bit of pain as much as the next person, but mine was just constant 'I'm going to die of the agony' type pain.

Until she put the vibrating stones on my back. They were so low down on my back, hips and backside that she was lucky she didn't turn the vibration on too strong. :pac:

toastedpickles

When I was 14/15 I shattered my wrist and a bit of my arm, so off to the hospital I go, get to the reception, standing there with my mother and the receptionist turns after a few basic questions and goes, is he married or single? I felt pretty awkward cuz I thought, Christ I must look old! the mother however "what kind of retarded question is that?!!? he's 14 ffs!"

Pensivepuca

Rayne Wooney wrote: »

Happened when I was 17, was about to have a shower when I decided to trim down below before a party I was going to, I lost track of time and my friends knocked on the front door when I was halfway through shaving. So I left it and said I'd finish it another time.

A few days later I was in hospital for an operation on my knee, there was 5 or 6 people in the room, nurses and doctors, I was on the operating table, loaded with general anaesthetic and I was out for the count. I woke up in the fúck off mood that happens after a general anaesthetic and I realised that the people in the room were a bit too happy and giggly. It was only later on when I went to the bathroom, when I realised that at some point when I was knocked out the nurses had taken off the shorts I was wearing and under the dressing gown I was stark naked. The doctors and nurses must have had a good laugh when they saw my hair styled manhood.

The rest of that hospital stay was awkward to say the least.

Ha ha, you poor thing! 'You best have clean under wear on incase your hit by a car' advice would have been useless to you. I had a heart monitor implanted just under my collar bone few years ago - kinda minor op so I had my head in a brace on the table and just a needle to numb my chest. I then realized that the op room had about 7 doctors looking at my naked chest, failing to make small talk about the weather to me. Forgot about that.

shopaholic01

I need an injury! What do all you experts recommend?

Esoteric_

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I need an injury! What do all you experts recommend?

Do what I did! Fall down the stairs, damage the ligaments, tendons and muscles in your back and hips, sue your job (obvs make sure you fall down the stairs in work!), go get physio, job done.

By suing the job, they're paying for you to be groped, essentially. Bit less seedy than paying for it, yourself.

shopaholic01

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Do what I did! Fall down the stairs, damage the ligaments, tendons and muscles in your back and hips, sue your job (obvs make sure you fall down the stairs in work!), go get physio, job done.

By suing the job, they're paying for you to be groped, essentially. Bit less seedy than paying for it, yourself.

Bit extreme there, Esoteric for a bit of groping! Are you alright now?

Esoteric_

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Bit extreme there, Esoteric for a bit of groping! Are you alright now?

I didn't even get the fcuking groping. :mad: Bloody physio and her professionalism. :pac: Course I am.

donvito99

- We've got to get these people to a hospital.

- A hospital? What is it?

- It's a big building with lots of sick people, but that's not important know.

Chareth Cutestory

I've never been to physio, I feel like I've lived such a sheltered life.

Pensivepuca

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I like a little bit of pain as much as the next person, but mine was just constant 'I'm going to die of the agony' type pain.

Until she put the vibrating stones on my back. They were so low down on my back, hips and backside that she was lucky she didn't turn the vibration on too strong. :pac:

Those vibrating stone things are amazing! Only got them once though. Yeah, sounds like you ****ed yourself up royally going down those stairs. Most of my pain is 'bone' pain and not being able to support my rib cage correctly. Your ligament and muscles are far more painful. The first time I got heated stones on my back she put them on and left the bed. The heat got worse, I jumped up in shock of the burn while hurting my back more in the process and almost falling off.

Esoteric_

Pensivepuca wrote: »

Those vibrating stone things are amazing! Only got them once though. Yeah, sounds like you ****ed yourself up royally going down those stairs. Most of my pain is 'bone' pain and not being able to support my rib cage correctly. Your ligament and muscles are far more painful. The first time I got heated stones on my back she put them on and left the bed. The heat got worse, I jumped up in shock of the burn while hurting my back more in the process and almost falling off.

Jesus, sounds like you need a new physio. The heated ones aren't supposed to stay on long enough to burn you! :eek:

Pensivepuca

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Jesus, sounds like you need a new physio. The heated ones aren't supposed to stay on long enough to burn you! :eek:

They were wrapped in towels too! She wandered off and got distracted. I like hot water bottles on a painful spine but christ those stones are something else. I am considering the spinal fusion surgery with rods and all but know more negative out comes for people I have met than positive.

Mickey H

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

When you're in the doctor's room sitting at the desk and they're typing away for ages and there's just a dead silence other than the keys and mouse.

That's your time to fart and blame one of the children.

Czarcasm

OP I can understand why you felt a bit awkward about it, but as others have mentioned that's a standard occupational hazard so to speak for a physio, after a while being poked and prodded you'll get used to it too.

I myself have a gammy hip so when I was going for x-rays before I'd the OP done I can remember I was made stand up against a back wall in my jocks, a room of about ten doctors, nurses, and they needed me to adjust this way and that, when next thing one of the nurses walked up and goes "we need you to part your legs" and slipped her hand up my thigh, I was thinking "Sweet Jesus stay down!", might as well have been talking to the wall, went down fairly quick though when she yanked my leg out like it wasn't still attached to my body, rough wasn't the word! Then there was the post-op when I woke up in the bed and took a look under the blanket to assess the damage- the lazy bastards had only half shaved my pubes off on the gammy hip side, and my nutsac was like the doctors had lined up to take turns kicking it black and blue! I asked the doc when he came over what the fcuk happened there? He told me they'd to put a cup on them to keep them out of the way while they operated on my hip. I just thought to myself "you sure it wasn't a fcuking thimble?".

However anyway, I pointed out to him I couldn't get out of the bed to go to for a wee. Off he went, came back a few minutes later with a thin tube, "what's that supposed to do?", a few minutes later I was left wondering why I hadn't just suggested one of those cardboard piss pots. But I had fun with it anyway (bit of a bastard really, I'd get a litre jug of water in the morning, by lunch time the bedside bag was full, didn't feel a thing).

Then there was the rather not quite so dramatic as the above, couple of months ago waking up from a general anaesthetic in the middle of a colonoscopy procedure and thinking "go back to sleep, Jesus quick go back to sleep!", they'd to amp up the anaesthetic when they realised I was awake and looking up at my own insides on the monitor, a groggy "fcuk" was uttered.

But at least I've got one intact orifice which is my mouth, and my dentist is nothing short of brilliant tbh, sure when she has her boobs resting on my forehead it's a bit awkward, but that's only because she's blocking my view of the tv she has built into the ceiling! Does a great job on my teeth though.


On a more serious note anyway OP, a friend of mine had the spinal fusion done down in Cork, can't really remember much she told me about it, except that she feels so much better now, and my wife has shermans (scoliosis) so she's in a somewhat similar position to yourself (no pun intended) but she's very wary still about having the procedure done (she actually wants to wait and see how my hip replacement goes first before she'll even entertain the idea of surgery herself, that's feckin' love right there- no, after you, I insist), she regularly goes to physio and she's packing a pair of 36GGs herself so there are intimate encounters aplenty, but like I said, she's used to it by now and all, after the initial apprehension wore off with more regular visits and they get on great now.

Howard Juneau

At age 15 I used to play Gaa & was a goalie, anyway, short story shorter. I dived on the ball & forward kicked through my face & broke my nose.
Was booked into hospital a few days later to have my nose reset. Was lieing on the trolley, stripped except for the gown & a girl I knew, approx 2 years older was wheeled in on a trolly. She turned away from me to chat to her porter & I saw that her gown was completly untied at the back. A finer, more pert bottom I had never seen before & I continued to stare for the next 4 or 5 mins until I was wheeled in...at which point the nurse gave me a smile & I noticed I was pitching a tent so to speak. The knockout gas couldn't come quickly enough.

FanadMan

Esoteric_ wrote: »

A female doctor decided that she needed to probe my arse with her finger when I had pneumonia. Does that count?

Had something similar from a cute nurse but was for a bowel problem. Finger went in and BOING!!! Buried my face into the pillow and prayed for a massive hole to open below the bed. When she had finished she told me to turn onto my back. I kinda whimpered that I couldn't/wouldn't.....at least not for a while anyway

Had to be one of the most embarrassing moments in my life.......and most enjoyable too lol.

prizefighter

In hospital after being hit by a car and it was my 29th birthday. 7.30am and the usual breakfast arrived. I'd never met this particular porter before and she wished me a happy birthday etc. She left the room and then reappeared with a birthday cake for me. Now I know this sounds lovely but I have to try and convey what happened next. This 60 yr old woman I'd never met before slowly shimmies towards my bed crooning 'happy birthday' to me ala Marilyn Monroe but about 3 octaves lower and attempts to slinkily hitch her shoulder to the rhythm. It was macabre to say the least. Then she just turfed the cake on the bedside table and disappeared.