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Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons?

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    #32
    RustyNut
    Registered Users Posts: 3,430 ✭✭✭RustyNut


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    If it was teaching then I can understand that but why traumatise kids for your career?

    What did she do to traumatise the kids?


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    #33
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Yes I do. Every kid who went looking for a hug off her was pushed away or dissmissed.


    Perhaps she was afraid of "catching" AIDS? Illogical I know but people are fairly ignorant about the ins and outs of the disease and there's juge stigma attached to it. I doubt she hated the children though.


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    #34
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    anncoates wrote: »
    Some do but at least the volunteering is being done, no natter what the motive, I suppose.
    True, unemployed people are regularly advised to do it as it looks good on a CV.


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    #35
    princess-lala
    Closed Accounts Posts: 30,731 ✭✭✭✭princess-lala


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I ended our friendship shortly after. To this day she still can't understand why I'm no longer interested in being friendly with her.
    Class A friend right there :eek:

    I'm not shocked at all at the amount of self centered people in the world but how they continue to actually keep friends is what I am baffled about :confused:


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    #36
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    RustyNut wrote: »
    What did she do to traumatise the kids?

    Kids who are kept in orphanages in Africa or aids clinics are often orphaned because their parents died of aids. The kids themselves are often born with aids. When you are dealing with orphans in Africa they will jump all over you because they are starved of affection. To push a child away from being hugged and only hug the children without aids is extremely hurtful to a child.


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    #37
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    Perhaps she was afraid of "catching" AIDS? Illogical I know but people are fairly ignorant about the ins and outs of the disease and there's juge stigma attached to it. I doubt she hated the children though.


    Well she must have had brains to burn by volunteering in an aids clinic.


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    #38
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Title changed to "Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons"?


    Partly selfish, partly not. And people go for different reasons. Acts of kindness make us feel good, so that's the selfish part but many people who volunteer also feel empathy for those who are suffering and genuinely want to help.


    I volunteered in the slums of Buenos Aires for 3 months while I was travelling, mainly because i was travelling for 11 months and felt like a useless fooker. I suppose I did it originally for selfish reasons if you were to get down to the fundamentals of it but the children were gorgeous and it'd broke my heart to think they'd no future and I wanted them to have as much fun as possible while they could. I suppose that was the unselfish bit.


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    #39
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Well she must have had brains to burn by volunteering in an aids clinic.


    But perhaps the reality of it didn't kick in till she got there? It often sounds like a romantic idea on paper until your faced with the reality of it. Not defending her as you're right, she sounds like a wagon but I'm guessing she irrationally thought she would catch it off them.


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    #40
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Kids who are kept in orphanages in Africa or aids clinics are often orphaned because their parents died of aids. The kids themselves are often born with aids. When you are dealing with orphans in Africa they will jump all over you because they are starved of affection. To push a child away from being hugged and only hug the children without aids is extremely hurtful to a child.


    I can imagine. She should've never been accepted on the programme but I suppose the organisation could never predict how she was going to act. Those poor kids.


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    #41
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons?
    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I was travelling abroad last month in Africa and for one week I worked in an aids clinic.

    Going for utterly selfless reasons, no doubt.


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    #42
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    eviltwin wrote: »
    My dad died a number of years ago. A few friends came to the funeral, one of my friends had been engaged to a friend of my brother previously, they had split up a few years at this stage and both had new partners but this was the first time they were going to be face to face since the breakup.

    The morning of the funeral, while we were all in bits, while I was trying to be strong for my younger siblings and looking after my daughter who was devestated, I got a call from my friend basically asking me to talk her through what kind of clothes she should wear and what makeup she should go with so as to look amazing for her ex but so not amazing she didn't look like she had tried too hard.

    I couldn't believe it. She spent the entire day making nasty comments about the ex and his new partner and never once asked how I was doing.

    When I had a miscarriage a few years later and was very low emotionally she decided that was the perfect time to send me a photo of her holding her newborn nephew. I ended our friendship shortly after. To this day she still can't understand why I'm no longer interested in being friendly with her.


    Oh my good god! :eek:


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    #43
    PingO_O
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭PingO_O


    If she's that cold op I can't see her enjoying her career as a teacher all too much, sounds like a strange one to me.


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    #44
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Vito Corleone wrote: »
    I'd be the same as the woman was, I wouldn't have went near them. Some people would just feel uncomfortable in that environment, I know I would. She was wrong to go volunteering given her personality, but then again others would say they need all the help they can out there. :/

    Well would you have volunteered in an Aids clinic in the first place?


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    #45
    ahjaysis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭ahjaysis


    Maybe she was having the time of her life. Maybe she loved helping the kids. Perhaps you misinterpreted her personality to be cold and abusive.

    What if she has anxiety and doesnt like the whole facebook friend thing.


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    #46
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    PingO_O wrote: »
    If she's that cold op I can't see her enjoying her career as a teacher all too much, sounds like a strange one to me.


    That came up aswell. She teaches in a primary school and she said that kids annoyed her. It seems she was a bit of an odd one either way.


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    #47
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

    Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.


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    #48
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    ahjaysis wrote: »
    Maybe she was having the time of her life. Maybe she loved helping the kids. Perhaps you misinterpreted her personality to be cold and abusive.

    What if she has anxiety and doesnt like the whole facebook friend thing.


    Well I'm not on facebook so I agree with her there.


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    #49
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

    Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.


    You'd struggle to find someone who would say that they were acts of selflessness to be honest! I would love to do both. Kilimanjaro itself is particularly expensive though.


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    #50
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

    Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.


    Who says they're acts of selflessness?

    People having a good time and raising money for a charity in the process. Can't fault that.


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    #51
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Well would you have volunteered in an Aids clinic in the first place?

    I have, as a doner.


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    #52
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Vito Corleone wrote: »
    Nope.


    Well then that's a different situation completely.


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    #53
    PingO_O
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭PingO_O


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

    Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.

    Nah they're not really but I guess it takes balls to go through with a sky dive and people get sponsored and what not for over coming their fear.


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    #54
    hawkwind23
    Registered Users Posts: 1,189 ✭✭✭hawkwind23


    standard stuff really.
    careerists f-off for a year "travelling" but do the volunteering but for a few weeks.
    when they apply for their chosen job they havent been out getting wasted in Zanzibar and partying non stop for a year pissing around east Africa but working for a year helping the less fortunate.
    this supposedly looks good on ones CV rather than a year out.
    most of them are at it , and dont get me started on the mature slum tourists!!


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    #55
    PingO_O
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭PingO_O


    Cohen Spicy Sweeper wrote: »
    I have, as a doner.

    Jesus! :eek:


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    #56
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    hawkwind23 wrote: »
    standard stuff really.
    careerists f-off for a year "travelling" but do the volunteering but for a few weeks.
    when they apply for their chosen job they havent been out getting wasted in Zanzibar and partying non stop for a year pissing around east Africa but working for a year helping the less fortunate.
    this supposedly looks good on ones CV rather than a year out.
    most of them are at it , and dont get me started on the mature slum tourists!!

    Well she did the bit in bold too! Who are the mature slum tourists by the way?


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    #57
    Aineoil
    Registered Users Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭Aineoil


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    But perhaps the reality of it didn't kick in till she got there? It often sounds like a romantic idea on paper until your faced with the reality of it. Not defending her as you're right, she sounds like a wagon but I'm guessing she irrationally thought she would catch it off them.

    I agree with you Legs.Eleven. Having a romantic notion is not quite the same as being faced with harsh reality.

    I'm not defending her either. If she thought she would get Aids from the children why did she volunteer to do this kind of charity work?

    She may write up a good CV, but truth outs eventually. She may fool a future employer but no matter how good an actress you are, you can't fake empathy all of the time. You may deceive some people, but not all of them.

    In fact, why she is the focus makes me feel so sad, the children should really be the focus. They deserve better.


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    #58
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    But perhaps the reality of it didn't kick in till she got there? It often sounds like a romantic idea on paper until your faced with the reality of it. Not defending her as you're right, she sounds like a wagon but I'm guessing she irrationally thought she would catch it off them.


    Maybe that's it. I'm just taken aback by it although I really shouldn't be.


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    #59
    Mardy Bum
    Registered Users Posts: 3,674 ✭✭✭Mardy Bum


    I'd use the below quote to describe selflessness.
    True heroism is minutes, hours, weeks, year upon year of the quiet, precise, judicious exercise of probity and care—with no one there to see or cheer

    Volunteering in Africa is usually carried out by your typical law/politics/finance student before they start a career which robs people of large amounts of money in exchange for very little work.

    /generalisation.


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    #60
    Aineoil
    Registered Users Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭Aineoil


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    That came up aswell. She teaches in a primary school and she said that kids annoyed her. It seems she was a bit of an odd one either way.

    Was she on career break from her school? Bet the school and staff were delighted she took one, if she did.


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    #61
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Aineoil wrote: »
    I agree with you Legs.Eleven. Having a romantic notion is not quite the same as being faced with harsh reality.

    I'm not defending her either. If she thought she would get Aids from the children why did she volunteer to do this kind of charity work?

    She may write up a good CV, but truth outs eventually. She may fool a future employer but no matter how good an actress you are, you can't fake empathy all of the time. You may deceive some people, but not all of them.

    In fact, why she is the focus makes me feel so sad, the children should really be the focus. They deserve better.


    That's her to a tee. She was an actress. The group that facilitated her coming her heard nothing but "I love kids and don't mind working with aids before she started volunteering" but when she came to Africa she changed. She was all friendly to us and when she left home she was a different person.

    Shes now going to be writing an article for an Irish magazine about her teaching experiences I have just found out :confused:. A wagon pure and simple!


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