Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons?

steddyeddy

I know this is a bit of a rant but I have to get it of my chest. I have just met the most self absorbed selfish girl I have ever met in my life! I was travelling abroad last month in Africa and for one week I worked in an aids clinic. There where 7 other volunteers there in total and 2 of them were Irish. One of the Irish girls (they came over separately) was civil enough on occasion but sometimes was often cold and sometimes rude and abrasive.

This girl wouldn't make any effort to comfort the kids with HIV or hold their hand or even play with them. I have since found out that she has deleted all other members of the volunteer group on facebook after we all went out of our way to lend her money and help her aclimatise. She has even ranted on facebook about how much she helped the kids and how this will help her career as a teacher!

This girl shouldn't have been volunteering it goes without saying. She wanted something that looked good on a CV and that was it. Anyway apologies rant over!!

Do most people volunteer abroad for selfish reasons?



Title changed to "Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons"?

TeddyTedson

Me.



(sorry, couldn't help myself)

smash

That c*nt in the mirror. I always have to do what he wants!

Sierra 117

smash wrote: »

That c*nt in the mirror. I always have to do what he wants!

He's in your mirror too? Oh I hate that guy!

steddyeddy

Sierra, smash and Teddy I think the person in the mirror might be the same guy!

dodderangler

steddyeddy wrote: »

Sierra, smash and Teddy I think the person in the mirror might be the same guy!

Probably. Seen him one night Ridin me Missus.

CrazyRabbit

TeddyTedson

steddyeddy

dodderangler wrote: »

Probably. Seen him one night Ridin me Missus.

Sorry about that Dodderangler she wore that outfit I like!

4zn76tysfajdxp

steddyeddy wrote: »

I know this is a bit of a rant but I have to get it of my chest. I have just met the most self absorbed selfish girl I have ever met in my life! I-

God, it's all "me, me, me" from you, isn't it?

RustyNut

steddyeddy wrote: »

I know this is a bit of a rant but I have to get it of my chest. I have just met the most self absorbed selfish girl I have ever met in my life! I was travelling abroad last month in Africa and for one week I worked in an aids clinic.

Self absorbed ?

Edit: So it wasnt only me that noticed it.

longshanks

'She has since deleted us from facebook'

Horrifying stuff.

steddyeddy

Cohen Spicy Sweeper wrote: »

God, it's all "me, me, me" from you, isn't it?

Well no It's clearly "I, I ,I" as you highlighted!

steddyeddy

longshanks wrote: »

'She has since deleted us from facebook'

Horrifying stuff.

It's more the fact that she thought of pretending to help aids victims as a way to progress her career.

shleedance

I can be quite selfish.

NuckingFacker

Mick. He's very, very self-absorbed. Unbelievable really. I met him once, yeah. What's that? Ah sure, ye'll have to take my word for it.

longshanks

steddyeddy wrote: »

It's more the fact that she thought of pretending to help aids victims as a way to progress her career.

Aids shmaids, people always put that volunteering crap on their c.v.

You'll probably do it too, won't you?

She was just upfront about it.

steddyeddy

longshanks wrote: »

Aids shmaids, people always put that volunteering crap on their c.v.

You'll probably do it too, won't you?

She was just upfront about it.

She refused to hug or play with any of the kids or even to hold their hand. It's a horrible way to progress your CV. I'm actually going to complain about her to the charity involved.

princess-lala

longshanks wrote: »

She was just upfront about it.

I was thinking this!

I admire her honesty

steddyeddy

princess-lala wrote: »

I was thinking this!

I admire her honesty

Sorry La la where am I missing something. Is it not wrong to volunteer with kids with HIV and then refuse any physical contact with them or even to play with them?

longshanks

Eddy it's too easy to wind you up, have a coke and a smile and chill the fuck out.

princess-lala

steddyeddy wrote: »

Sorry La la where am I missing something. Is it not wrong to volunteer with kids with HIV and then refuse any physical contact with them or even to play with them?

You post this in AH and expect real honest answers!

In all seriousness she did her volunteering to "further" her career in her eyes, she didn't go for the same reasons you did!

She's self absorbed and selfish, there's nothing you can do about that now! You don't have to deal with her again!

Legs.Eleven

steddyeddy wrote: »

Sorry La la where am I missing something. Is it not wrong to volunteer with kids with HIV and then refuse any physical contact with them or even to play with them?

I'd call her useless as opposed to self-absorbed. Sounds like she chickened out at the last minute when the reality kicked in.

steddyeddy

princess-lala wrote: »

You post this in AH and expect real honest answers!

In all seriousness she did her volunteering to "further" her career in her eyes, she didn't go for the same reasons you did!

She's self absorbed and selfish, there's nothing you can do about that now! You don't have to deal with her again!

I do expect real answers but I thought most people where horrified by that? The other volunteers are in shock by it and so am I. Now judging from the posts it seems like she's not an a-typical Irish!

It's not the furthering her career that annoys me. Its the blatant hatred and phobia of people with aids that annoys me! If it was teaching then I can understand that but why traumatise kids for your career?

Legs.Eleven

steddyeddy wrote: »

I do expect real answers but I thought most people where horrified by that? The other volunteers are in shock by it and so am I. Now judging from the posts it seems like she's not an a-typical Irish!

It's not the furthering her career that annoys me. Its the blatant hatred and phobia of people with aids that annoys me! If it was teaching then I can understand that but why traumatise kids for your career?

Hatred? You really think she hated them?

steddyeddy

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Hatred? You really think she hated them?

Yes I do. Every kid who went looking for a hug off her was pushed away or dissmissed.

eviltwin

My dad died a number of years ago. A few friends came to the funeral, one of my friends had been engaged to a friend of my brother previously, they had split up a few years at this stage and both had new partners but this was the first time they were going to be face to face since the breakup.

The morning of the funeral, while we were all in bits, while I was trying to be strong for my younger siblings and looking after my daughter who was devestated, I got a call from my friend basically asking me to talk her through what kind of clothes she should wear and what makeup she should go with so as to look amazing for her ex but so not amazing she didn't look like she had tried too hard.

I couldn't believe it. She spent the entire day making nasty comments about the ex and his new partner and never once asked how I was doing.

When I had a miscarriage a few years later and was very low emotionally she decided that was the perfect time to send me a photo of her holding her newborn nephew. I ended our friendship shortly after. To this day she still can't understand why I'm no longer interested in being friendly with her.

NegativeCreep

Has the name of this thread been changed or am I going insane?

princess-lala

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Has the name of this thread been changed or am I going insane?

Thank feck it wasn't only me who noticed this :eek:

shopaholic01

steddyeddy wrote: »

I do expect real answers but I thought most people where horrified by that? The other volunteers are in shock by it and so am I. Now judging from the posts it seems like she's not an a-typical Irish!

It's not the furthering her career that annoys me. Its the blatant hatred and phobia of people with aids that annoys me! If it was teaching then I can understand that but why traumatise kids for your career?

She was probably naive when she volunteered. We weren't there, so it impossible for us to have the same emotional response.

Maybe she thinks you're all do-gooders. People are different.

anncoates

Some do but at least the volunteering is being done, no natter what the motive, I suppose.

steddyeddy

Title changed to "Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons"?

RustyNut

steddyeddy wrote: »

If it was teaching then I can understand that but why traumatise kids for your career?

What did she do to traumatise the kids?

Legs.Eleven

steddyeddy wrote: »

Yes I do. Every kid who went looking for a hug off her was pushed away or dissmissed.

Perhaps she was afraid of "catching" AIDS? Illogical I know but people are fairly ignorant about the ins and outs of the disease and there's juge stigma attached to it. I doubt she hated the children though.

shopaholic01

anncoates wrote: »

Some do but at least the volunteering is being done, no natter what the motive, I suppose.

True, unemployed people are regularly advised to do it as it looks good on a CV.

princess-lala

eviltwin wrote: »

I ended our friendship shortly after. To this day she still can't understand why I'm no longer interested in being friendly with her.

Class A friend right there :eek:

I'm not shocked at all at the amount of self centered people in the world but how they continue to actually keep friends is what I am baffled about

steddyeddy

RustyNut wrote: »

What did she do to traumatise the kids?

Kids who are kept in orphanages in Africa or aids clinics are often orphaned because their parents died of aids. The kids themselves are often born with aids. When you are dealing with orphans in Africa they will jump all over you because they are starved of affection. To push a child away from being hugged and only hug the children without aids is extremely hurtful to a child.

steddyeddy

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Perhaps she was afraid of "catching" AIDS? Illogical I know but people are fairly ignorant about the ins and outs of the disease and there's juge stigma attached to it. I doubt she hated the children though.

Well she must have had brains to burn by volunteering in an aids clinic.

Legs.Eleven

steddyeddy wrote: »

Title changed to "Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons"?

Partly selfish, partly not. And people go for different reasons. Acts of kindness make us feel good, so that's the selfish part but many people who volunteer also feel empathy for those who are suffering and genuinely want to help.


I volunteered in the slums of Buenos Aires for 3 months while I was travelling, mainly because i was travelling for 11 months and felt like a useless fooker. I suppose I did it originally for selfish reasons if you were to get down to the fundamentals of it but the children were gorgeous and it'd broke my heart to think they'd no future and I wanted them to have as much fun as possible while they could. I suppose that was the unselfish bit.

Legs.Eleven

steddyeddy wrote: »

Well she must have had brains to burn by volunteering in an aids clinic.

But perhaps the reality of it didn't kick in till she got there? It often sounds like a romantic idea on paper until your faced with the reality of it. Not defending her as you're right, she sounds like a wagon but I'm guessing she irrationally thought she would catch it off them.

Legs.Eleven

steddyeddy wrote: »

Kids who are kept in orphanages in Africa or aids clinics are often orphaned because their parents died of aids. The kids themselves are often born with aids. When you are dealing with orphans in Africa they will jump all over you because they are starved of affection. To push a child away from being hugged and only hug the children without aids is extremely hurtful to a child.

I can imagine. She should've never been accepted on the programme but I suppose the organisation could never predict how she was going to act. Those poor kids.

4zn76tysfajdxp

steddyeddy wrote: »

Are people who go volunteering abroad doing so for selfish reasons?

steddyeddy wrote: »

I was travelling abroad last month in Africa and for one week I worked in an aids clinic.

Going for utterly selfless reasons, no doubt.

Legs.Eleven

eviltwin wrote: »

My dad died a number of years ago. A few friends came to the funeral, one of my friends had been engaged to a friend of my brother previously, they had split up a few years at this stage and both had new partners but this was the first time they were going to be face to face since the breakup.

The morning of the funeral, while we were all in bits, while I was trying to be strong for my younger siblings and looking after my daughter who was devestated, I got a call from my friend basically asking me to talk her through what kind of clothes she should wear and what makeup she should go with so as to look amazing for her ex but so not amazing she didn't look like she had tried too hard.

I couldn't believe it. She spent the entire day making nasty comments about the ex and his new partner and never once asked how I was doing.

When I had a miscarriage a few years later and was very low emotionally she decided that was the perfect time to send me a photo of her holding her newborn nephew. I ended our friendship shortly after. To this day she still can't understand why I'm no longer interested in being friendly with her.

Oh my good god! :eek:

PingO_O

If she's that cold op I can't see her enjoying her career as a teacher all too much, sounds like a strange one to me.

steddyeddy

Vito Corleone wrote: »

I'd be the same as the woman was, I wouldn't have went near them. Some people would just feel uncomfortable in that environment, I know I would. She was wrong to go volunteering given her personality, but then again others would say they need all the help they can out there.

Well would you have volunteered in an Aids clinic in the first place?

ahjaysis

Maybe she was having the time of her life. Maybe she loved helping the kids. Perhaps you misinterpreted her personality to be cold and abusive.

What if she has anxiety and doesnt like the whole facebook friend thing.

steddyeddy

PingO_O wrote: »

If she's that cold op I can't see her enjoying her career as a teacher all too much, sounds like a strange one to me.

That came up aswell. She teaches in a primary school and she said that kids annoyed her. It seems she was a bit of an odd one either way.

Celly Smunt

Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.

steddyeddy

ahjaysis wrote: »

Maybe she was having the time of her life. Maybe she loved helping the kids. Perhaps you misinterpreted her personality to be cold and abusive.

What if she has anxiety and doesnt like the whole facebook friend thing.

Well I'm not on facebook so I agree with her there.

steddyeddy

Celly Smunt wrote: »

Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.

You'd struggle to find someone who would say that they were acts of selflessness to be honest! I would love to do both. Kilimanjaro itself is particularly expensive though.

Legs.Eleven

Celly Smunt wrote: »

Why are things like sky diving and climbing kilamanjaro acts of selflessness?

Wouldn't everybody love to do these things on other peoples money.

Who says they're acts of selflessness?

People having a good time and raising money for a charity in the process. Can't fault that.

4zn76tysfajdxp

steddyeddy wrote: »

Well would you have volunteered in an Aids clinic in the first place?

I have, as a doner.