Relationships - yay or nay?

Wibbs

green_bow wrote: »

actively seeking one, if your a male in his thirties and single , it leaves you a spare wheel when it comes to socialising , people avoid you and view you as a bit of a misfit , you find your not invited to stuff as much as you used to

I quite honestly didn't notice that in my 30's the times I was single. I did notice that some singletons of that age walked around with a bit of a desperation cloud which might have restricted their socialisation, but that was about it.

rolo454 wrote: »

Have fun with that when you're 50+ years old.
It's nice to have a partner and a family when you're older.

One of the worst reasons to get into a relationship IMHO and a reason too many end up in shítty ones.

Me? Nope not looking for one. Not currently anyway. I like my own space too much for most potential partners. Looking back I've only had two or three exes where the balance was good on that score. Plus while I have a good radar for finding really good women mates, with a few exceptions I seem to have a woeful radar for picking women as romantic partners. I tend to go for the headmelters, so I no longer trust myself. Go for the same type I go for as mates? Good theory, but 1) they wouldn't appeal to me in that way and 2) I have often found that quite a few ladies are quite different with male mates compared to how they are with partners. With one good mate of mine you would be looking a long time for a better friend, but jesus you'd not go out with her. :eek::D

Oh yea and I'm waaaaay too cynical these days so...

dgt

Meh is what I thinks....!

If I'm in one well and good and if I'm not then I'm not too fussed. In younger days I thought differently as did a few mates of mine (good lady friend of mine had to be with a fella all the time, now she's enjoying the single life!) it must be a youth thing....

dorkacle

Not actively seeking one, but if the right person came along...

Ishmael

Haven't been in one so long that i would say it would take quite a bit of adjusting to get used to it again. I wouldn't mind seeing someone on a regular basis though.

Grayson

Wibbs wrote: »

I quite honestly didn't notice that in my 30's the times I was single. I did notice that some singletons of that age walked around with a bit of a desperation cloud which might have restricted their socialisation, but that was about it.

I think he means your options for socialising are nearly gone. I only have a few single friends left. The rest are all in relationships. They don't go out or do anything except for special occasions like birthdays. They're the sort of people that'll say "What are you doing saturday, fancy doing something?" followed by "We were thinking of getting a few bottles of wine and sitting in watching a movie, want to come over?"

It's nice in all, but it's not really expanding your social circle.

And I'm not really a sit at home kind of guy. But I'm also not a go to a bar by myself kind of person.

kiffer

I want to be back in one but because you're just meant to swan along not actively seeking one I'm not actually doing anything to make that happen... so nothing is likely to happen...

and as I'm woefully bad at chatting women up ONSs are things that happen to other people.

Male is easy mode for dating apparently.

howamidifferent

Not currently in one and enjoying that status to much to ever want to be back in one. :P

Potential-Monke

Not in one, wouldn't mind one, but not too bothered at the moment. Like Henlars67, i don't want children. I despise babies, and hate children up to the age of teens (when they can actually communicate why the **** they're crying with you!). And it's something which i feel stronger and stronger about the older i get. I made a hard decision of ending a 7 year relationship last year with someone i loved because of this feeling, which according to everyone at the time would be replaced with a longing to have them. But it wasn't fair on her to keep stringing her along on the hope that i might change my mind (which i'm 100% i won't now).

So, being 30, and not really into the pub/club scene anymore, it's kinda hard to meet someone new, and online dating is still a beauty contest, even with these "chemistry" matches. And, it's also extremely hard to find a female who doesn't want children. So, i guess i'm going to have to wait a few more years and meet a divorcee, or single mother with children in their teens!!!

BeerWolf

No interest in a settled relationship, what with the history of unsuccessful relationships in my family [my Sisters, even my parents got divorced, etc.]. Kinda gives a bleak view.

Swinging bachelor for life :pac:

Snowie

I'm in no rush to have a gf.... But I can see the companionship and intamcy thing being a good thing. I guess its meeting soem one with the same out looks as my self more then anything...

OO and the want not to live in an housing estate

cantdecide

Snowie wrote: »

I'm in no rush to have a gf.... But I can see the companionship and intamcy thing being a good thing. I guess its meeting soem one with the same out looks as my self more then anything...

OO and the want not to live in an housing estate

That's what it comes down to for me. Could do with a bit of that in my daily life but hell, I like coming and going as I please and for me, it seems every time I've tried to do something to bring some of these good things into my life, I end up feeling foolish. It's simply a question of licking my wounds for now. Also, I want to stop pressurising myself until I can not get the dreads every time I meet someone and thinking 'she's nice, I should ask her out'. Same as if every time you went outside, you tripped over your front door step and fall on your face. Soon enough, you just start thinking about self preservation primarily.

Snowie

cantdecide wrote: »

That's what it comes down to for me. Could do with a bit of that in my daily life but hell, I like coming and going as I please and for me, it seems every time I've tried to do something to bring some of these good things into my life, I end up feeling foolish. It's simply a question of licking my wounds for now. Also, I want to stop pressurising myself until I can not get the dreads every time I meet someone and thinking 'she's nice, I should ask her out'. Same as if every time you went outside, you tripped over your front door step and fall on your face. Soon enough, you just start thinking about self preservation primarily.

at least your vulnerabilities indeed show you are human. We all fall on our face we turn that into a negative and then eventually things wont go your way you gotta be positive about your out look with women as much as you do your career your sports if theres any dout people pick up on it if you allow your self to be affraid of being hurt you will be personaly. If a woman drops me I look on it as a lucky escape so far it has been :eek:


Mad hay Ive meet some nutters I've meet some divas and ive meet my fair of snooty bitches mjaorty of tiem there not suited, its just the companion ship and someone to shre your life with that gives you comfort...

Henlars67

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Not in one, wouldn't mind one, but not too bothered at the moment. Like Henlars67, i don't want children. I despise babies, and hate children up to the age of teens (when they can actually communicate why the **** they're crying with you!). And it's something which i feel stronger and stronger about the older i get. I made a hard decision of ending a 7 year relationship last year with someone i loved because of this feeling, which according to everyone at the time would be replaced with a longing to have them. But it wasn't fair on her to keep stringing her along on the hope that i might change my mind (which i'm 100% i won't now).

So, being 30, and not really into the pub/club scene anymore, it's kinda hard to meet someone new, and online dating is still a beauty contest, even with these "chemistry" matches. And, it's also extremely hard to find a female who doesn't want children. So, i guess i'm going to have to wait a few more years and meet a divorcee, or single mother with children in their teens!!!

I'm different in that I actually like children. I have a nephew who I look after quite often as his parents both work weekends.

He'll often stay with me for a day and sometimes he'll ask if he can bring along one of his friends, so i'll end up with 2 children for the day.

I usually enjoy it, but I also like giving them back in the evening and I definitely wouldn't like to have one of my own that I'd have to look after all of the time.