Another suicide linked to Ask.fm, what are ye opinions on this?

freshpopcorn

A teenage girl in the UK has committed suicide and ask.fm is being blamed as the cause because the girl was bullied on it for a couple of weeks. Do you think it should be shut down?

I am a guy in my early twenties and when I was 12/13 bebo was all the rage. A lot of bullying went on back in the mid 2000's. Fake profiles were created messages/pictures were shared on them that would have made people very upset. A lot of things went on but nothing bad never happened in my area. Most people I know moved onto facebook then and this was when every had a camera phone so pictures were shared more frequently. I witnessed cases of when embarrassing pictures of certain people being shared and you could see it effected some people a lot more than others I am talking about both guys/girls.
I found when the people pretended they didn't care the picture used just be forgotten about in know time. I found when people engaged with the bullies begging them to remove a picture/post that was when thing escalated.

I know these suicides can be traced back to ask.fm but a lot of suicides happen because of normal traditional bullying in school as well. You can just trace this back to a source whilst with normal bullying it it harder to do so.
People are constantly telling people to delete/block people who are bothering them on these sites and report it and talk about it to someone.

So, what are ye views on this?
Do ye think ask.fm should be shut down?

http://www.irishmirror.ie/news/world-news/askfm-linked-another-teen-suicide-2129788

Meirleach

I think parents should be watching what their children are getting up to online. Shut down ask.fm and it'll just happen elsewhere.

DipStick McSwindler

This post has been deleted.

Nodin

Another suicide because of Ask.fm,

Presuming a lot there, aren't we?

pharmaton

people are assholes, especially people on the internet. (in real life those tiny people would have the skin kicked off them before they ever got close enough to think they can bully another human)

BeerWolf

And what was so hard to just NOT go to Ask.fm ?

Kids these days...

123balltv

Kids learn how to talk to people face to face.

D.Q

people who decide to set up an ask.fm profile know what they are getting into. I saw some of my friends had them a while ago, but I never bothered, because of the fact that I didn't want to give people an anonymous platform to abuse me.

I genuinely don't understand the appeal of those sites. What is the best possible outcome?

that said, i don't think it should be shut down, each to their own, I just don't particularly understand it.

Henlars67

Ask.FM isn't the problem. People are.

My name is URL

How can they be so sure that it's linked to Ask.fm? The family themselves say that she showed no signs of torment etc, so they're just assuming that her suicide was brought on by bullying. Can people not just be depressed these days?... something else always needs to be blamed it seems.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

Meirleach wrote: »

I think parents should be watching what their children are getting up to online. Shut down ask.fm and it'll just happen elsewhere.

I hear this rationale put out as an explanation a lot when these sad types of things happen. The thing is though, and it is rarely acknowledged, is that parents of teenagers and older children alive now didn't grow up with the internet. I know you can say they should know, but many don't or learn too slowly to know what this is about. Facebook/Youtube/Ask.fm or even boards aren't even a generation old.

Basically, legislation, policing and parenting need to grow up with the internet to help prevent this type of thing happening.

SEPT 23 1989

The bullying is only a front for the powers that be to clamp down on free speech on the net

meoklmrk91

If ask fm gets shutdown then another site with the exact same purpose, it's not going to change anything or fix the issue which is that there are many ****ty people in the world who do ****ty things. I don't have an ask fm nor will I ever, giving people an anonymous platform in which to say whatever they want, of course people are going to abuse that.

Nemeses

Shut down a website because some users are abusing it?
I'm sure in the conditions of use it goes against the likes of that carry on.

I feel sorry for the person that committed suicide because of this, however I'm sure if someone looked into it more, the underlying cause is not ask.fm but maybe the indiviual themselves, other contributing factors.

Who knows what was running through a persons mind at that time.

hoodwinked

im in the its not all about askfm and more in the parents should be supervising internet access camp,


but to be fair i find teenagers don't realise you can't always believe what you read on the internet, they take things so seriously at that age hence the issues with sites like that,


i don't take anything said to me on here seriously as i know we all either: are taking the piss, being trolled, arguing for the hell of it, making **** up for thanks whoring, or just venting current emotions on a topic and mostly not actually meaning it....and many many more.


either way i'm not going through the above and more for every post, so i just continue on my day as normal without giving it a second thought, if i'm asked a question ill answer it,

try having a teenager to take that kind of view and you'll find a teenager with an old head on young shoulders. most of them dwell on every little thing said about them, and take it seriously.

Reindeer

I think you're more likely to find the suicide was linked to depression.

The Backwards Man

You can argue about the rights and wrongs of blaming a website til the cows come home if you want, but anything that facilitates the anonymous abuse of others with practical impunity has no place in any society.

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that people will go to defend what they call free speech.

gcgirl

Reindeer wrote: »

I think you're more likely to find the suicide was linked to depression.

Not always

BeerWolf

Reindeer wrote: »

I think you're more likely to find the suicide was linked to depression.

Gee, really?!

That's like saying breathing is linked to staying alive... :pac:

BadCharlie

You get kids who take the abuse to heart, and others who will shrug it off. All people are differint.
I find it very sad that people go around saying to other people on the net to go kill them selfs.

I have kids my self, and would be very tech savy. But i also belive your child if they want to use these sites they will find a way and a means to do so without my knowing. For example use friends/school computer or friends phone ect... Its very very hard to keep an eye on your child at all times. And they are very very resoursfull. We were all kids onces & im sure we have done or did things our mums and dads did not know about.

123balltv

I was badly bullied during my school years only relief was going home closing
my front door I know in my heart if the internet was around in my day I
would have tried to end my life kids nowadays are getting bullied 24/7

hoodwinked

123balltv wrote: »

I was badly bullied during my school years only relief was going home closing
my front door I know in my heart if the internet was around in my day I
would have tried to end my life kids nowadays are getting bullied 24/7

but only because now when they get home they close that front door, go up to their room and go on their laptops/phones/tablets,

people thought i was crazy giving my 3 year old an ipod, but i locked it down completely so all she can use is her game apps, her downloaded tv programs, and her music (we do a lot of long car journeys where she'd take mine and she would download apps and stuff so we bought it because we could lock it down)


it took us not even two hours to make sure she needed a password (which only we know) to access any other material or change any settings,

and its now a safe learning tool, its taught her how to spell words i couldn't spell at 4!

BeerWolf

123balltv wrote: »

I was badly bullied during my school years only relief was going home closing
my front door I know in my heart if the internet was around in my day I
would have tried to end my life kids nowadays are getting bullied 24/7

There's a difference between being bullied in person, and a device/website you can easily choose to ignore or avoid...

Jester252

Closing down ask.fm will reduce the number of case of internet bullying is the same logic as taking the syringe from a junkie will stop them taking drugs.

nocoverart

WTF is Ask.fm? I think I'm getting old.

caustic 1

Yes there is bullying on ask.fm I have seen it for myself, but I do not blame the website, the solution stay away from the site. Why would you continue to go on a site where there is someone saying bad stuff about you. If you got hit in the face everytime you walked by a certain spot surely you would avoid going there.

BeerWolf

nocoverart wrote: »

WTF is Ask.fm? I think I'm getting old.

Some social site with it's main feature being to question someone anonymously - key feature that's the issue of all this bullying.

In other words, it's a site for people just asking to be harassed...

Potatoeman

The Backwards Man wrote: »

You can argue about the rights and wrongs of blaming a website til the cows come home if you want, but anything that facilitates the anonymous abuse of others with practical impunity has no place in any society.

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that people will go to defend what they call free speech.

You can contact the mods and get things pulled on most sites as they dont want the hassle. Shutting down whole sites because of a few idiots is just dumb.

hoodwinked

nocoverart wrote: »

WTF is Ask.fm? I think I'm getting old.

its a site where you make a post asking a question like:


"why do you like me?"

and the users can respond anonymously, hence the tendency of people to say things like "i don't like you you are ugly and a bitch"

hatrickpatrick

I use ask.fm and so do a lot of my friends, and we're all mature enough to understand that the internet is not serious business and that taking anything personally when it's written online is futile and ridiculous - we have great fun on Ask and love using it, why should we be deprived of something just because others can't handle it? I hae to sound insensitive but this really is one of those if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen issues - don't close down the kitchen so nobody else can get their dinner there!

This along with the recent porn filter and other attempts by governments to crack down on free speech is a symptom of a wider issue - parents wanting society to do their job for them. Simple as.

hatrickpatrick

hoodwinked wrote: »

its a site where you make a post asking a question like:


"why do you like me?"

and the users can respond anonymously, hence the tendency of people to say things like "i don't like you you are ugly and a bitch"

It's actually the opposite, the questions are asked anonymously and answered by the named user, so on my ask.fm question people ask questions anonymously, knowing that it's me, and I answer them without knowing who's asking.

shruikan2553

The thing people seem to be unable to realise is that you make a choice to create an account and can choose to close it. I have no sympathy for anyone being bullied on ask.fm as they can solve the issue themselves quickly.

hoodwinked

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

It's actually the opposite, the questions are asked anonymously and answered by the named user, so on my ask.fm question people ask questions anonymously, knowing that it's me, and I answer them without knowing who's asking.

really? apologies ive only seen my sister posting questions from it on her fb and not knowing whos answering so i thought thats how it worked.

hatrickpatrick

hoodwinked wrote: »

really? apologies ive only seen my sister posting questions from it on her fb and not knowing whos answering so i thought thats how it worked.

Those questions are addressed to your sister by her anonymous friends and she's answering them.

Point is, as I said overleaf, we can't take this ask.fm thing in isolation. Look at what's happening in the UK with regard to filtering porn, look at jailing people for offensive remarks on Twitter (not talking about the rape threats, those are threats and should be prosecuted, but someone was jailed just for making an offensive comment about someone on grounds of "offensive transmission of communication" or something like that ) - all are symptoms of the fact that parents don't want to do their job. If I had kids, it would be my job to make sure they weren't getting up to this crap online, and it would be totally unfair of me to demand that an entire community be deleted from the internet just because I can't handle the responsibility of making sure my kids behave themselves on it. Ask.fm is an anonymous and unmoderated community, it says this very clearly on the website, and if people aren't mature enough to handle that, they shouldn't be on it. If those people are kids, their parents shouldn't be letting them on it. No one is saying these comments weren't horrible, but if you choose to use an unmoderated website that's what you sign up for - you can't demand that the website change its policies to make you happy, you're choosing to use it with all of its attributes already attached.

SweepTheLeg

People need thicker skins, Can't believe someone actually killed themselves over what people on the Internet said. I actually used AskFm, seeing how it's anonymous questions I got mostly abuse but guess what! I just didn't go to the website anymore.

Nobody is forcing you to keep checking that website to see what people are saying to you.

How Soon Is Now

You see a lot of this happening these days teens topping them selves over lets face it stupid ****.

I dont see the websites as being the issue i see it as a lot of people and not just teenagers these days are not as strong mentally and emotionally.

I was bullied in school when i was in primary school and when i was a teen a lot worse then being called stupid **** over a website did i kill myself? Clearly not :pac:.

Im a stronger person now cause of it because it made me stand up for myself and become more out spoken and thats the person i am now.

One of the biggest problems with society these days is there is a massive element of people being wrapped in cotton wool so to speak. Theres a lot more abuse being dished out now a days but lets face it most of it is toothless crap online. Its become almost illegal to offend anyone these days on all kinds of levels.

Whats changed more then anything i think is that a lot of people have become unable to deal with these kinds of issues because i still feel a lot of teens and young adults these days are lacking in so many areas compared to the ones before them and the ones before them.

The people society is creating is the issue.

People join the likes of Ask.fm for attention but then some cant deal with it.

But the world we live in now clearly that couldn't be there fault could it?.........

wrmwit

Kids need to be properly educated when using social media. It has evolved so fast the past few years. People say adults need to be watching their kids online activities. They should but a lot of adults also need to be educated and made aware of how to use social media properly and safely so they can pass it on to their kids.

How Soon Is Now

wrmwit wrote: »

Kids need to be properly educated when using social media. It has evolved so fast the past few years. People say adults need to be watching their kids online activities. They should but a lot of adults also need to be educated and made aware of how to use social media properly and safely so they can pass it on to their kids.

They need to be taught how to live in the real world maybe then they might deal with things better.

I assume you have seen how your average everyday teen acts now a days ya?

wrmwit

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

They need to be taught how to live in the real world maybe then they might deal with things better.

I assume you have seen how your average everyday teen acts now a days ya?

Oh I have, and some of it aint pretty!

SweepTheLeg

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

People join the likes of Ask.fm for attention but then some cant deal with it.

But the world we live in now clearly that couldn't be there fault could it?.........

I agree. I used it once then just stopped, why do I give valuable time to people who don't care if I live or die?

How Soon Is Now

wrmwit wrote: »

Oh I have, and some of it aint pretty!

So its not much of a surprise that most of these people cant deal with mass abuse and rejection online when lets face it from what i see of teens everyday a big part of there life is about being accepted and praised so to speak.

Half an hour on Facebook is all the education u need on the subject :pac:.

Femme_Fatale

BeerWolf wrote: »

And what was so hard to just NOT go to Ask.fm ?

Kids these days...

... are the same as kids... any days. They go on Ask.fm because loads of their pals do - and like any teens, including your generation, are impressionable and go along with the crowd out of a sense of wanting to be part of something and fitting in. Looking at it from an adult's perspective is pointless and unhelpful. These aren't little kids either so it's not always easy for their parents to control their internet use.

Serious amount of odious "People let themselves be bullied" sh1t on this thread. Nope, the only ones in the wrong are the bullies - end of.
Doubt it was solely online grief that caused this person to end their life, but if it contributed to it, it must have been bad.

I know it's cool to look all unsympathetic and bad-ass on the 'net, but how about, instead of blaming people for getting harassed online, maybe blame those who harass them?
Ask.fm shouldn't be shut down, but little sh1t-bags who give people abuse on it should be banned. Surely there is a reporting function - adult moderators could see then whether the person is just over-reacting or whether they are actually being harassed and intimidated and do something about it. If Ask.fm is a fun site, then people shouldn't have the right to ruin right-thinking people's fun on it.
It's bullsh1t that the internet is not real life too. It very much IS real life.

And there's no "free speech" on it either - there never was.

efb

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

... are the same as kids... any days. They go on Ask.fm because loads of their pals do - and like any teens, including your generation, are impressionable and go along with the crowd out of a sense of wanting to be part of something and fitting in. Looking at it from an adult's perspective is pointless and unhelpful. These aren't little kids either so it's not always easy for their parents to control their internet use.

Serious amount of odious "People let themselves be bullied" sh1t on this thread. Nope, the only ones in the wrong are the bullies - end of.
Doubt it was solely online grief that caused this person to end their life, but if it contributed to it, it must have been bad.

I know it's cool to look all unsympathetic and bad-ass on the 'net, but how about, instead of blaming people for getting harassed online, maybe blame those who harass them?
Ask.fm shouldn't be shut down, but little sh1t-bags who give people abuse on it should be banned. Surely there is a reporting function - adult moderators could see then whether the person is just over-reacting or whether they are actually being harassed and intimidated and do something about it. If Ask.fm is a fun site, then people shouldn't have the right to ruin right-thinking people's fun on it.
It's bullsh1t that the internet is not real life too. It very much IS real life.

And there's no "free speech" on it either - there never was.

Completely +1 on this

cloudatlas

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

People need thicker skins, Can't believe someone actually killed themselves over what people on the Internet said. I actually used AskFm, seeing how it's anonymous questions I got mostly abuse but guess what! I just didn't go to the website anymore.

Nobody is forcing you to keep checking that website to see what people are saying to you.

So you're blaming the victims?!? Perhaps the victims already have outside issues i.e. severely bullied by peers and turn to the internet for some kind of connection with other people and then find that they are rejected there also. I'd find that depressing if I was that age. People need to be more empathetic. Twitter has been in the news for threats against women. The police in the UK have arrested some of the men who made the threats. I'm behind that 100%. I think the individuals on AskFm should be tracked down and exposed, they are spineless cowards.

Vito Corleone

The Backwards Man wrote: »

You can argue about the rights and wrongs of blaming a website til the cows come home if you want, but anything that facilitates the anonymous abuse of others with practical impunity has no place in any society.

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths that people will go to defend what they call free speech.

Anything that facilitates the anonymous abuse of others has no place in society? So, basically any site that you can leave comments on or communicate to others (including this one) should be shut down because it's possible that someone could in some way abuse someone through what they post?

Well, I hope you never gain command of the internet, it would be a pretty depressing state of affairs tbh.

languagenerd

Closing down ask.fm would be a very temporary solution - the bullies and trolls would move to another platform very quickly and it would all begin again. I'm always wary when I see politicians/journalists/parents' groups looking for websites to be closed/moderated due to bullying - it's blaming the tool rather than the perpetrator. Yes, bullies use ask.fm - but it's equally possible to bully someone with anonymous hate mail, for example, should we ban pens and paper too?

I don't think we should treat cyber-bullying as something entirely separate to "traditional bullying". The people are the same, the underlying reasons and motives are the same. What's needed here is education: we need to teach teenagers how to use social media safely, we need to educate parents on the dangers and benefits of the internet, we need to teach children to respect everyone and, essentially, not to bully.

TBH I don't understand why anyone would keep logging into a site where all they got was abuse. If it was me, I'd either close my account or just stop answering questions. But I guess some of these vulnerable teenagers couldn't stop themselves from looking at it - this is where parental supervision needs to come in.

kraggy

There's bullying on Boards nevermind on Ask.fm.

People in general and parents in particular have to educate themselves and protect their children. Besides Internet use, I'm sometimes baffled as to how 14 and 15 year olds can be wandering the streets late at night. Do their parents not wonder where they are. No 14 or 15 year old should be out late.

It's only when parents start getting fined/ held reponsible that an improvement in parenting will come.

freshpopcorn

kraggy wrote: »

People in general and parents in particular have to educate themselves and protect their children. Besides Internet use, I'm sometimes baffled as to how 14 and 15 year olds can be wandering the streets late at night. Do their parents not wonder where they are. No 14 or 15 year old should be out late.

What would you consider late?

nocoverart

Teenagers were, are and always will be vulnerable species . I think what sometimes can go unnoticed though is the obsession with appearance in the western society, and how damaging it can be on our younger folk. Whether it be TV, Social Media or in everyday life. A deep problem in a shallow world.

RDM_83 again

nocoverart wrote: »

WTF is Ask.fm? I think I'm getting old.

AFIAK its basically Formspring (never checked ask.fm so I could be completely wrong here and never used formspring ut i actually know what it is unlike askfm)

Ace Attorney

Cant believe some people are actually blaming the victims, that they cant handle it so they should just log off etc , the users that are at fault are the ones doing the bullying saying hurtful things to people and encouraging them to do harm to themselves. Ireland has had 3 deaths this past year that may have been related to the ask.fm website, the ciara pugsley girl from leitrim and the two sisters in donegal who commited suicide weeks apart from each other due to bullying on the site and now another girl from the UK has choosen the same fate due to similar circumstances from the same said website, I think that does justify doing something about the website. perhaps removing the anonymity feature and posting under your real name instead might be one idea. i really dont know but there has got to be something done to prevent more tragic teenager deaths