Restrict wifi at home.

GarIT

Orion wrote: »

Can you tell me where that job is? I think you're very optimistic if you think you'll be on that salary.

I rather not because there are less than 10 people in Ireland qualified for it right now, and there are probably only that many jobs too. Its to do with survalence and monitoring but that's all I'll say.

Artful_Badger

GarIT wrote: »

While you're right there I would have gotten straight 100%s in my last exams if I hadn't done a lot of self learning in the area over the years.

Self learning != 80% of time on a computer though. Some people have an interest in IT and will self learn and use their time to explore. Others wont no matter how long they spend online. If you were restricted to only having access to the internet in the evening you would still have used the time explore your interests. So restricting imo will force kids to utilize their time and cut off the fat of all those hours wandering around random youtube videos and playing angry birds.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

You can't prove an argument with a metaphor. There is no proof or anything there just an old saying. What needs to be explained is why using the internet for a long time is bad, you can't just say everything in moderation.

I just did because anyone with a bit of basic cop on realises that if you become too absorbed in any one thing you're depriving yourself of other elements required to be a well-rounded individual.

Also, focusing on one activity excessively would mean that certain parts of the brain are overstimulated whereas other parts would not be utilised at all. Balance is key.

Magnetics

Definitely excessive imo

I'd understand if the kids were all under 14 but they are all basically adults at this stage, they can make up their own minds. You're parenting and rule setting is essentially done for your two oldest, it' time to let them find their own way

I think it's weird the way parents are so involved with their older kids lives these days. From my experience with friends whose parents were overly involved, they were the ones who became rebellious and almost resentful of their folks, despite all the good intentions meant

The internet and online activity is now how people communicate, I think taking that away from young adults is a bad idea

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

I just did because anyone with a bit of basic cop on realises that if you become too absorbed in any one thing you're depriving yourself of other elements required to be a well-rounded individual.

Also, focusing on one activity excessively would mean that certain parts of the brain are overstimulated whereas other parts would not be utilised at all. Balance is key.

That doesn't explain anything either, you make no points about why they shouldn't be on the internet, nobody had. Your argument is basically 'I'm conservative because I think we should be conservative'

I'll try to use your style for a bit "practice makes perfect".

Try to make a point of what problems will be cause by being on the internet.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

That doesn't explain anything either, you make no points about why they shouldn't be on the internet, nobody had. Your argument is basically 'I'm conservative because I think we should be conservative'

I'll try to use your style for a bit "practice makes perfect".

Try to make a point of what problems will be cause by being on the internet.

My point couldn't be any clearer and the fact that you can't grasp it does little for your excessive internet advocacy

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

My point couldn't be any clearer and the fact that you can't grasp it does little for your excessive internet advocacy

You haven't made a point relevant to the discussion. You have said balance is key and everything in moderation but you haven't said anything to prove it. You need to say why only spending a little time on the internet is better than a lot.

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

My point couldn't be any clearer and the fact that you can't grasp it does little for your excessive internet advocacy

If you want I can pull up a list of world famous footballers that spent 10+ hours a day on average of their childhood playing football. But they are all messed up people because they didn't have balance apparently.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

If you want I can pull up a list of world famous footballers that spent 10+ hours a day on average of their childhood playing football. But they are all messed up people because they didn't have balance apparently.

You're referencing a very tiny minority of exceptions who make it in a world of wannabes. One of my childhood friends played football from morning to night. He's currently unemployed

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

You're referencing a very tiny minority of exceptions who make it in a world of wannabes. One of my childhood friends played football from morning to night. He's currently unemployed

So are you saying his unemployment is a result of the amount of time he played football? But should his parents have said stay inside for some time because you need moderation? The only question you really need to answer is did playing football that much harm him? If your answer is yes say how it harmed him, if the answer is no say how it is different to the internet and why the internet would cause harm as opposed to football.

You still haven't made any point, you have just repeatedly told people you are conservative. You haven't said why that is better. What I'm saying is you can't just use a phrase, you need to explain it.

From this point just take it that I don't accept your premise of "Everything in moderation" and you need to provide evidence why you think it is true.

nicowa

As far as I've read and heard in media reports excessive Internet in kids is reducing the social abilities. As in, they don't have the opportunity to practice them. Typing a few words on screen messaging people doesn't tend to lead to the best communication skills. Granted you may be able to write a mean memo, but will you have the conversational ability to win over an employer? Or a girlfriend.

We try and restrict computer use in this house too. I don't see the benefits of excessive use of FB or the online rpg they play. If you (GarlT) can spot the benefits let us know. Cos all its doing here is causing arguments. As in, "I just started this game and NOW we're having dinner?!"

Yes, this is as much a problem with their attitudes as the computer use.

Anyway, OPs house, OPs rules.

GarIT

nicowa wrote: »

As far as I've read and heard in media reports excessive Internet in kids is reducing the social abilities. As in, they don't have the opportunity to practice them. Typing a few words on screen messaging people doesn't tend to lead to the best communication skills. Granted you may be able to write a mean memo, but will you have the conversational ability to win over an employer? Or a girlfriend.

We try and restrict computer use in this house too. I don't see the benefits of excessive use of FB or the online rpg they play. If you (GarlT) can spot the benefits let us know. Cos all its doing here is causing arguments. As in, "I just started this game and NOW we're having dinner?!"

Yes, this is as much a problem with their attitudes as the computer use.

Anyway, OPs house, OPs rules.

I read an article just yesterday on the benefits of Gaming, there were 10, the only ones I can remember though, were faster reactions, more intelligent on average, much better problem solving abilities.

Personally I've found it easy to get work and I've been grand with girls. I don't think I've any problems with social skills, I do spend id say 6+ hours a day on computers, 10+ when I'm in college or working but I socialise at night not during the day and used to played sports twice a week for years. I'm only one person though. From experience I've never found someone who spends a lot of time on computers having trouble getting jobs. Social skills, I agree somewhat but have two points to make on that. Social is changing, I'd argue that Facebook is as social as you can get, that's a matter of opinion. I find old people generally say things like would you not go out with friends, when you're actually in with friends all the time. Gaming is more social than ever with the best parts of most modern games being multiplayer. Point two is that You can still have a good social life and rack up hours online. I don't think social skills are declining, I think they are changing and it probably wasn't reflected in whatever you read.

I think you definitely need some balance, but I wouldn't say 5-10 hours a day on the internet is excessive. And limiting it is the worst thing you could do IMO. For example from the ages of 13 up until the leaving cert I spent literally every night online from 10 till 2 with friends after being out for the day. I think children need access to the internet 24/7, and they will use it when they choose to. Obviously kids need to eat and stuff but I think they are just being teenagers, you probably thought the same yourself when you were wanting to go out or something.

riclad

I Do,nt Think spending 5 hours everyday on facebook, or youtube, or playing games makes you some kind of it expert.

KIDS used to spend hours playing games on ps2 and pc ,before the web was widely used.
SO far i have,nt seen a great boom in irish game design and game programming from gen x .

THE amount of irish kids who will grow up to use social media as an essential part of their job will be small.

I do,nt think you can grow up to have a very social attitude ,
if you spend 8 hours a day on the net,facebook, twitter etc

When you are a teen is a crucial time in regard to developing your personality ,social skills , and communication skills.

ITS Hard to do this if you are looking at a screen most of the time.

I think using facebook etc is handy ,but its not gonna turn you into a
programmer ,
no more than playing call of duty is going to turn you into a games
designer.

When everyone uses fb or twitter ,it will not give you much of an
advantage in going for an interview in 2020.

so a kid gets home from school at 4pm ,
AND he go,es on the net for 10 hours ,
thats definitely excessive .

theres a phrase everything in moderation.

would you play the piano , or listen to cds every day for 10 hours?

SEE here
http://www.amazon.com/The-Winter-Our-Disconnect-Technology/dp/1585428558

a woman switches of all net acess, pcs,ipods etc as she found was losing touch with her
kids.

SHE finds after a few weeks they grow to like it,
they discover playing musical instruments,
reading a book etc
eg real life is there ,even if you switch off your iphone.

GarIT

I'll just leave this here, there are plenty more similar videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF9Vqn_cQyc

endacl

frozenfrozen wrote: »

What's wrong with your daughters using the internet in your house? I'd be very worried if you hadn't been 18 seeing as you have 3 daughters. Are you taking any of your children's opinions into consideration on this matter? Seeing as you've entirely written off my opinion purely based on my age I can only assume that you've done the same to your children's views because they will obviously view it differently in a few years. This sort of babying of teenagers isn't in my opinion good parenting at all, instead of your children learning to control their own internet usage and realising why they shouldn't be spending endless hours with their heads buried in what you see as an uncontrollable waste of time.

You may view this differently in a few years too

Their house, their rules. That's how it works. It's nice to give the impression of democracy in a house. Good training for adult life. In reality though, it's best to have a benevolent dictatorship behind the democratic facade.

endacl

Ciarabear wrote: »

I think it's excessive to restrict a 19 year old's internet access when they are legally an adult. That said, your house, your rules!

Not really. Her access to the net isn't being restricted. Her access to her parents Internet access point is. Unless she's paying her full share of mortgage, utilities, food, Internet.......

GarIT

riclad wrote: »

I Do,nt Think spending 5 hours everyday on facebook, or youtube, or playing games makes you some kind of it expert.

KIDS used to spend hours playing games on ps2 and pc ,before the web was widely used.
SO far i have,nt seen a great boom in irish game design and game programming from gen x .

THE amount of irish kids who will grow up to use social media as an essential part of their job will be small.

I do,nt think you can grow up to have a very social attitude ,
if you spend 8 hours a day on the net,facebook, twitter etc

When you are a teen is a crucial time in regard to developing your personality ,social skills , and communication skills.

ITS Hard to do this if you are looking at a screen most of the time.

I think using facebook etc is handy ,but its not gonna turn you into a
programmer ,
no more than playing call of duty is going to turn you into a games
designer.

When everyone uses fb or twitter ,it will not give you much of an
advantage in going for an interview in 2020.

so a kid gets home from school at 4pm ,
AND he go,es on the net for 10 hours ,
thats definitely excessive .

theres a phrase everything in moderation.

would you play the piano , or listen to cds every day for 10 hours?

No it doesn't, you're right there but even just using a windows computer led me to begin fixing errors and things. Some people wont some people will.

I don't get the bit about not being social from being on social networks. Facebook is social.

Phrases mean nothing are wrong more then right, Adam and Eve not Steve is a phrase too. That doesn't mean its true.

While being on the internet and doing nothing else is excessive, spending several hours a day on it is not. It's just life. In work I spend 8 hours a day on the internet, In college I spend 6 hours a day on the internet. 90% of jobs involve computer usage now. While you need moderation 2 hours of internet a day is not moderation. If you want moderation limit them to 6 hours a day, its more realistic with the adult world. Over 50% of employees in Ireland spend 6+ hours of every 8 working on a computer.

If you are going to limit to kids to two hours at least do it at the time where most people are online. Facebook's most active hours in the UK is 11pm to 3am. You are treating them like 5 year olds having them off it at 10.

Computers help kids, My brother could read and do maths by three, he thought himself using the nick junior website and the hundreds of educational games, he had 24/7 access to the net from 2 years old.

People here seem to think the internet is just for Facebook. I did all my leaving cert study online, it's much better than any books. I learnt a lot about religion and politics and plenty other things.

freshpopcorn

This thread has gone out of hand and it' no help to the OP.
I think it's your house and your rules to be honest and it's up to the amount of internet access you allow in the house if you want to you can totally get rid of it or you could give the kids totally unlimited access.
I think that your kids know how to use the internet and spending hours on facebook isn't going to make them internet whiz kids.
The only advise I would give you is make sure that your kids have enough access for school/college work.
I always thought that I couldn't live without the internet but there was a time when my computer broke a couple of years ago I got on grand without it. You just occupy yourself with different things.

Ciarabear

endacl wrote: »

Not really. Her access to the net isn't being restricted. Her access to her parents Internet access point is. Unless she's paying her full share of mortgage, utilities, food, Internet.......

Which is why I said their house, their rules

endacl

Ciarabear wrote: »

Which is why I said their house, their rules

Just expanding on the point...

Miss Lockhart

How are people posting "your house your rules" contributing to the topic? Quite obviously the OP can set whatever rules they like in their own home, but they didn't ask that - they asked what other people's opinions were on those rules.

Personally I think it's counterproductive to baby an adult so much. You are not helping them to learn responsibility.

Ciarabear

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Quite obviously the OP can set whatever rules they like in their own home, but they didn't ask that - they asked what other people's opinions were on those rules.

And it seems that the popular opinion is that they are entitled to impose whatever rules they want within their own home without question.

Queen-Mise

sgds wrote: »

Do many other parents do this or am I being too strict?

I put a password on the main computer in the house (12 & 8), so the kids weren't coming down at 6am and going straight onto the computer.

12 year old has just gotten XBOX Live in his bedroom this week - because of novelty he has been on it for 3/4 days straight. I let that go - moving forward from next week. I will want time online/gaming and time out playing roughly 50/50 (this changes obviously winter & rainy days, but I'd try and distract them elsewhere).
If they don't self regulate - even now, then suddenly around the same time, their mammy suddenly had them doing lots of housework, funny that:D

TBH - I think you are going dictator parenting rather than dealing with bad manners & self discipline.
If my kids didn't self regulate, then I would block the internet, but due warning would be given.
The internet in itself isn't bad - there is lots of quality stuff there.

On a different note - I must figure out how to block ask.fm completely especially for my daughter.

GarIT wrote: »

Social skills, I agree somewhat but have two points to make on that. Social is changing, I'd argue that Facebook is as social as you can get, that's a matter of opinion. I find old people generally say things like would you not go out with friends, when you're actually in with friends all the time. Gaming is more social than ever with the best parts of most modern games being multiplayer. Point two is that You can still have a good social life and rack up hours online. I don't think social skills are declining, I think they are changing and it probably wasn't reflected in whatever you read.

I agree with Gar and a lot of his points. FB is social, as is gaming.

At the moment my son, at 12, is playing with his two first cousins, one fifty miles away and the other in another country - and they are chatting and playing Minecraft. He wouldn't be spending this time chatting with them only for the XBOX Live.

terryduff12

Can`t wait to see what these kids will end up like staring into phones 5 - 7 hours looking at youtube videos or facebook, something like what happens in the movie Idiocracy with luke wilson. Im 32 had sega megadrive, gameboy, playstation 1 when i was younger now have a xbox 360 and i didnt spend the day inside playing them while it was good outside. Shacked up with the girlfriend who has a 12 year old from previous relationship he`s had fair few gadgets ps2,3ds,3ds xl xbox 360 and smartphone, he`s gass he`ll spend hours looking at youtube videos mostly of minecraft hogging the bandwith, herself doesnt see much wrong with it odd time she`ll tell him get off it and go out but he come back in and say theres nothing to do.

We had good few days off nice warm weather and he`s there in his room staring into the phone makes me sick nothing to do outside im board he`s in for a big wake up call no more than a few others he cant even tie his shoes properly and his writing is scribble if i mention anything herself is like why are ya always picking on him, so i dont bother anymore her nephew is a bigger waste of space stuck in front of a 32 inch telly playing xbox all day headaches especially while at school has ipad, computer xbox live if he wants something mammy will buy it for he`s 14 now he`ll still be leaching of her into his fifties. i can remember spending hours out playing with cats and kittens great times i wasnt board then have been board plenty of time while i was in the bog at that age but got on with it. At the most an hour is enough for them thing are happening outside ,that thing were the blue sky is not in a screen connected to a router there will be plenty of time for that when there older.

What`s the proudest thing they will be able to say when there older i sat in a room for my childhood reading facebook playing games and watching videos on youtube great life.

riclad

There,s an article about this in the new york times book section,today,
About a parent concerned her kids are looking at screens,
ipod, tablet etc she,s feels its out of control.
EG she feels she must put some limits on them.

eg no fb ,youtube,twitter , web acess until their homework is done.

THE job of parents is to set down boundarys, rules,
children are not mature enough to do it themselves.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/19/books/3-books-offer-ways-to-cut-the-cord-if-only-briefly.html?ref=books&_r=0

PucaMama

terryduff12 wrote: »

Can`t wait to see what these kids will end up like staring into phones 5 - 7 hours looking at youtube videos or facebook, something like what happens in the movie Idiocracy with luke wilson. Im 32 had sega megadrive, gameboy, playstation 1 when i was younger now have a xbox 360 and i didnt spend the day inside playing them while it was good outside. Shacked up with the girlfriend who has a 12 year old from previous relationship he`s had fair few gadgets ps2,3ds,3ds xl xbox 360 and smartphone, he`s gass he`ll spend hours looking at youtube videos mostly of minecraft hogging the bandwith, herself doesnt see much wrong with it odd time she`ll tell him get off it and go out but he come back in and say theres nothing to do.

We had good few days off nice warm weather and he`s there in his room staring into the phone makes me sick nothing to do outside im board he`s in for a big wake up call no more than a few others he cant even tie his shoes properly and his writing is scribble if i mention anything herself is like why are ya always picking on him, so i dont bother anymore her nephew is a bigger waste of space stuck in front of a 32 inch telly playing xbox all day headaches especially while at school has ipad, computer xbox live if he wants something mammy will buy it for he`s 14 now he`ll still be leaching of her into his fifties. i can remember spending hours out playing with cats and kittens great times i wasnt board then have been board plenty of time while i was in the bog at that age but got on with it. At the most an hour is enough for them thing are happening outside ,that thing were the blue sky is not in a screen connected to a router there will be plenty of time for that when there older.

What`s the proudest thing they will be able to say when there older i sat in a room for my childhood reading facebook playing games and watching videos on youtube great life.

what are you more worried about? as you say your "shacked up" with the girlfriend and her 12 year old, and hes "hogging the bandwith" is this whats bothering you or the childs welfare?

and calling the two children a waste of space :mad:what a horrible attitude you have. you have NO way of knowing the child will still be living with his mother into his 50s. :mad:

terryduff12

Have a browse through previous pages and have a look at the title, nothing you have stated in the comment has brought anything to the table

I don't have kids, though If I did I would be using OpenDNS to manage and restrict my network.

It's straight forward, you can block types of content, porn, social media, etc or individual sites.

Here's a video for those who are interested, and I'm sure if anyone has any difficulties, folks in the tech forums will help.