Restrict wifi at home.

sgds

Hi, I have three teenagers, a girl aged 15 & two boys aged 17 & 19. The three kids have smartphones but I restrict their use of the wifi until about 6 or 7pm most evenings. Otherwise they would have their phones constantly in front of their faces. I use the internet myself and also have a smartphone and an ipad but really I feel when its on all the time during the day, especially in the summer holidays they will not do nothing else apart from Facebook, YouTube , ask fm snapchat etc. My 15 year old daughter said to me this evening that she was embarrassed when any of her friends come around and the Internet is off. Do many other parents do this or am I being too strict?

LadyMayBelle

Nope, I think youre dead right and great you stick to the rule, and abide by it yourself. Of course teenagers are going to be mortified by most things their parents do, especially if it impedes upon their status with friends. Youre saying the wifi is off until 6 or 7pm? I dont think it's bad, and they muts have access to the internet via their own networks and when they go places. It's important to have 'non screen time' in households.

sundodger5

I only allow my crew 2 hours full access per day. The phones can get the net via mobile anyway so hard to police if they dont mind burning call credit.
Have the router set to block laptops until 8pm and then block again at 10pm.
Also have blocked ask.fm as the abuse on it is horrible and even though they can give as good as they get I don't see the point of having them exposed to it constantly.

freshpopcorn

Do any of ye live in housing estates/apartments? A lot of the time people don't have their internet network secured and your kids will be able to pick up on the signal.

frozenfrozen

Smothering.

sundodger5

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Do any of ye live in housing estates/apartments? A lot of the time people don't have their internet network secured and your kids will be able to pick up on the signal.

Luckily I live in the middle of nowhere so not an issue.
If they are going to steal other peoples broadband then that is out of my control (without more tech) I only can control my router and limit it as best I can.
If I felt the net access is being abused after rules are made (ask.fm) then I would confiscate the phone or whatever.

sundodger5

frozenfrozen wrote: »

Smothering.

I assume you think it is smothering because you are 18. I have been 18. You have never been my age with 3 daughters to mind. You may view it differently in a few years.

frozenfrozen

sundodger5 wrote: »

I assume you think it is smothering because you are 18. I have been 18. You have never been my age with 3 daughters to mind. You may view it differently in a few years.

What's wrong with your daughters using the internet in your house? I'd be very worried if you hadn't been 18 seeing as you have 3 daughters. Are you taking any of your children's opinions into consideration on this matter? Seeing as you've entirely written off my opinion purely based on my age I can only assume that you've done the same to your children's views because they will obviously view it differently in a few years. This sort of babying of teenagers isn't in my opinion good parenting at all, instead of your children learning to control their own internet usage and realising why they shouldn't be spending endless hours with their heads buried in what you see as an uncontrollable waste of time.

You may view this differently in a few years too

sundodger5

Your opinion was one word. I am genuinely glad you came back to elaborate.
You are correct they should learn to limit themselves but have been unable to do so hence boundaries have been set.
Also I do not see the internet as a complete waste of time and fail to see how I gave that impression.
What would you do as a parent?

sgds

Its amazing the amount of people that havent security enabled on their routers. Anybody could use their internet and could be browsing anything from child porn to trying to steal credid card info! I live in the country and an open wifi wouldnt normally be a problem but you would never know whats going on. I restrict the wifi as well by only allowing kids mac address at certain times. Normal stuff in the house has access all the time, apple tv, main pc etc

Ciarabear

I think it's excessive to restrict a 19 year old's internet access when they are legally an adult. That said, your house, your rules!

tallaghtmick

I wouldnt restrict it sure they can use the 3G on the phones aswell, all this will do is make them resent you as you know what teens are like.

sgds

I think when the 19 year will spend 80% of his day in front of a screen at home when this wifi is available, restricting it is not excessive

Ciarabear

sgds wrote: »

I think when the 19 year will spend 80% of his day in front of a screen at home when this wifi is available, restricting it is not excessive

My point is that at 19, your son is pretty much entitled to do what he wants without seeking your permission

GarIT

I think its a bit extreme. Why do you need to limit it?

GarIT

sgds wrote: »

I think when the 19 year will spend 80% of his day in front of a screen at home when this wifi is available, restricting it is not excessive

Can you explain what is wrong with that? You say it like it is bad but dont say why. You also need to think of things like IT jobs, in 4 years I should be on 80-100k yearly because I spent 80% of my childhood on a computer.

riclad

HES got 2 kids under 18, leave it as it is .
Your house your rules,
even teens need rules ,and boundarys ,
THE worst thing for a teen is to have total freedom ,
they are not mature enough to know what is best for them ,
their minds ,personality is still being formed.

THE thing i find strange is when i hear gaming podcasts,
theres 3 or 5 year old s playing games on an xbox ,pc for hours on end.
I doubt if thats good for their health.

I,M older when i was i kid i spent most of my time outside,
playing soccer, etc the net , ipads were not invented.
i had an atari 800 console.

sgds

I know that but when he rather to spend more time on the Internet than conversing with the rest of the family, then it becomes a problem

GarIT

riclad wrote: »

HES got 2 kids under 18, leave it as it is .
Your house your rules,
even teens need rules ,and boundarys ,
THE worst thing for a teen is to have total freedom ,
they are not mature enough to know what is best for them ,
their minds ,personality is still being formed.

THE thing i find strange is when i hear gaming podcasts,
theres 3 or 4 year old s playing games on an xbox ,pc for hours on end.
I doubt if thats good for their health.

How is it not good for them?

GarIT

sgds wrote: »

I know that but when he rather to spend more time on the Internet than conversing with the rest of the family, then it becomes a problem

That's just being a dictator, no normal teen has ever wanted to talk to family. Why does one need to talk to family if they dont want to? The problem isn't the internet, the problem is you being lonely and being selfish about it.

tallaghtmick

GarIT wrote: »

That's just being a dictator, no normal teen has ever wanted to talk to family. Why does one need to talk to family if they dont want to? The problem isn't the internet, the problem is you being lonely and being selfish about it.

im 29 and don't wanna talk to them at the best of times :pac:

Chain_reaction

Thats a bit much for the 19 year old alright. If they will spend most of the day on it otherwise you might want to look into guiding them into working part time/full time for the summer, learning to drive, going on cheap adventures with friends.

Artful_Badger

Nothing wrong with restricting it a bit imo as long as they still have access. Its an all engrossing thing is the internet and cutting it off during the day and letting them have at it in the evening is fine. It will teach them to utilize their time on it rather than waste their time on it.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

How is it not good for them?

Because excessive anything isn't good for anybody. Everything in moderation

kirving

You're needlessly making life difficult for your kids, who probably communicate with their friends primarily through Facebook or WhatsApp or the like.

They're probably missing out on what their friends are talking about, and doing during the day since they don't have access to the internet. It would be very embarrassing for a kid not to have a clue what's going on until 8pm at night, at which time their friends are already out or have made plans.

It reminds me of the government setting the off licences opening hours in a reactionary attempt to change drinking habits. Typical Irish solution of banning something rather than trying to change people's opinions. All it does us piss people off. If you feel you need to restrict internet access, then encourage your kids to take up other activities instead.

GarIT

Just playing devils advocate here but if a child was playing football from morning to night everyday would you tell them they can only do it for two hours? Just finishing being a teen this week I should say that all through my teenage years that were few forms of entertainment which consisted of the internet, drink, causing trouble and drugs. Unless you're really good at it by 16 football isn't even really an option anymore.

Artful_Badger

GarIT wrote: »

Can you explain what is wrong with that? You say it like it is bad but dont say why. You also need to think of things like IT jobs, in 4 years I should be on 80-100k yearly because I spent 80% of my childhood on a computer.

You will be hired to that position because on your CV you have "Spent my childhood glued to a computer" ? Dont think so. You dont need to have spent 80% of your childhood on a computer to work in the IT industry, you need a degree in IT. Same as a forestry manager doesnt need to grow up in the woods, just needs the relevant education.

Orion

GarIT wrote: »

in 4 years I should be on 80-100k yearly because I spent 80% of my childhood on a computer.

Can you tell me where that job is? I think you're very optimistic if you think you'll be on that salary.

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

Because excessive anything isn't good for anybody. Everything in moderation

You can't prove an argument with a metaphor. There is no proof or anything there just an old saying. What needs to be explained is why using the internet for a long time is bad, you can't just say everything in moderation.

GarIT

Artful_Badger wrote: »

You will be hired to that position because on your CV you have "Spent my childhood glued to a computer" ? Dont think so. You dont need to have spent 80% of your childhood on a computer to work in the IT industry, you need a degree in IT. Same as a forestry manager doesnt need to grow up in the woods, just needs the relevant education.

While you're right there I would have gotten straight 100%s in my last exams if I hadn't done a lot of self learning in the area over the years.

gctest50

Artful_Badger wrote: »

You will be hired to that position because on your CV you have "Spent my childhood glued to a computer" ? Dont think so. You dont need to have spent 80% of your childhood on a computer to work in the IT industry, you need a degree in IT. Same as a forestry manager doesnt need to grow up in the woods, just needs the relevant education.

Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg ....

GarIT

Orion wrote: »

Can you tell me where that job is? I think you're very optimistic if you think you'll be on that salary.

I rather not because there are less than 10 people in Ireland qualified for it right now, and there are probably only that many jobs too. Its to do with survalence and monitoring but that's all I'll say.

Artful_Badger

GarIT wrote: »

While you're right there I would have gotten straight 100%s in my last exams if I hadn't done a lot of self learning in the area over the years.

Self learning != 80% of time on a computer though. Some people have an interest in IT and will self learn and use their time to explore. Others wont no matter how long they spend online. If you were restricted to only having access to the internet in the evening you would still have used the time explore your interests. So restricting imo will force kids to utilize their time and cut off the fat of all those hours wandering around random youtube videos and playing angry birds.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

You can't prove an argument with a metaphor. There is no proof or anything there just an old saying. What needs to be explained is why using the internet for a long time is bad, you can't just say everything in moderation.

I just did because anyone with a bit of basic cop on realises that if you become too absorbed in any one thing you're depriving yourself of other elements required to be a well-rounded individual.

Also, focusing on one activity excessively would mean that certain parts of the brain are overstimulated whereas other parts would not be utilised at all. Balance is key.

Magnetics

Definitely excessive imo

I'd understand if the kids were all under 14 but they are all basically adults at this stage, they can make up their own minds. You're parenting and rule setting is essentially done for your two oldest, it' time to let them find their own way

I think it's weird the way parents are so involved with their older kids lives these days. From my experience with friends whose parents were overly involved, they were the ones who became rebellious and almost resentful of their folks, despite all the good intentions meant

The internet and online activity is now how people communicate, I think taking that away from young adults is a bad idea

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

I just did because anyone with a bit of basic cop on realises that if you become too absorbed in any one thing you're depriving yourself of other elements required to be a well-rounded individual.

Also, focusing on one activity excessively would mean that certain parts of the brain are overstimulated whereas other parts would not be utilised at all. Balance is key.

That doesn't explain anything either, you make no points about why they shouldn't be on the internet, nobody had. Your argument is basically 'I'm conservative because I think we should be conservative'

I'll try to use your style for a bit "practice makes perfect".

Try to make a point of what problems will be cause by being on the internet.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

That doesn't explain anything either, you make no points about why they shouldn't be on the internet, nobody had. Your argument is basically 'I'm conservative because I think we should be conservative'

I'll try to use your style for a bit "practice makes perfect".

Try to make a point of what problems will be cause by being on the internet.

My point couldn't be any clearer and the fact that you can't grasp it does little for your excessive internet advocacy

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

My point couldn't be any clearer and the fact that you can't grasp it does little for your excessive internet advocacy

You haven't made a point relevant to the discussion. You have said balance is key and everything in moderation but you haven't said anything to prove it. You need to say why only spending a little time on the internet is better than a lot.

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

My point couldn't be any clearer and the fact that you can't grasp it does little for your excessive internet advocacy

If you want I can pull up a list of world famous footballers that spent 10+ hours a day on average of their childhood playing football. But they are all messed up people because they didn't have balance apparently.

Ciarabear

GarIT wrote: »

If you want I can pull up a list of world famous footballers that spent 10+ hours a day on average of their childhood playing football. But they are all messed up people because they didn't have balance apparently.

You're referencing a very tiny minority of exceptions who make it in a world of wannabes. One of my childhood friends played football from morning to night. He's currently unemployed

GarIT

Ciarabear wrote: »

You're referencing a very tiny minority of exceptions who make it in a world of wannabes. One of my childhood friends played football from morning to night. He's currently unemployed

So are you saying his unemployment is a result of the amount of time he played football? But should his parents have said stay inside for some time because you need moderation? The only question you really need to answer is did playing football that much harm him? If your answer is yes say how it harmed him, if the answer is no say how it is different to the internet and why the internet would cause harm as opposed to football.

You still haven't made any point, you have just repeatedly told people you are conservative. You haven't said why that is better. What I'm saying is you can't just use a phrase, you need to explain it.

From this point just take it that I don't accept your premise of "Everything in moderation" and you need to provide evidence why you think it is true.

nicowa

As far as I've read and heard in media reports excessive Internet in kids is reducing the social abilities. As in, they don't have the opportunity to practice them. Typing a few words on screen messaging people doesn't tend to lead to the best communication skills. Granted you may be able to write a mean memo, but will you have the conversational ability to win over an employer? Or a girlfriend.

We try and restrict computer use in this house too. I don't see the benefits of excessive use of FB or the online rpg they play. If you (GarlT) can spot the benefits let us know. Cos all its doing here is causing arguments. As in, "I just started this game and NOW we're having dinner?!"

Yes, this is as much a problem with their attitudes as the computer use.

Anyway, OPs house, OPs rules.

GarIT

nicowa wrote: »

As far as I've read and heard in media reports excessive Internet in kids is reducing the social abilities. As in, they don't have the opportunity to practice them. Typing a few words on screen messaging people doesn't tend to lead to the best communication skills. Granted you may be able to write a mean memo, but will you have the conversational ability to win over an employer? Or a girlfriend.

We try and restrict computer use in this house too. I don't see the benefits of excessive use of FB or the online rpg they play. If you (GarlT) can spot the benefits let us know. Cos all its doing here is causing arguments. As in, "I just started this game and NOW we're having dinner?!"

Yes, this is as much a problem with their attitudes as the computer use.

Anyway, OPs house, OPs rules.

I read an article just yesterday on the benefits of Gaming, there were 10, the only ones I can remember though, were faster reactions, more intelligent on average, much better problem solving abilities.

Personally I've found it easy to get work and I've been grand with girls. I don't think I've any problems with social skills, I do spend id say 6+ hours a day on computers, 10+ when I'm in college or working but I socialise at night not during the day and used to played sports twice a week for years. I'm only one person though. From experience I've never found someone who spends a lot of time on computers having trouble getting jobs. Social skills, I agree somewhat but have two points to make on that. Social is changing, I'd argue that Facebook is as social as you can get, that's a matter of opinion. I find old people generally say things like would you not go out with friends, when you're actually in with friends all the time. Gaming is more social than ever with the best parts of most modern games being multiplayer. Point two is that You can still have a good social life and rack up hours online. I don't think social skills are declining, I think they are changing and it probably wasn't reflected in whatever you read.

I think you definitely need some balance, but I wouldn't say 5-10 hours a day on the internet is excessive. And limiting it is the worst thing you could do IMO. For example from the ages of 13 up until the leaving cert I spent literally every night online from 10 till 2 with friends after being out for the day. I think children need access to the internet 24/7, and they will use it when they choose to. Obviously kids need to eat and stuff but I think they are just being teenagers, you probably thought the same yourself when you were wanting to go out or something.

riclad

I Do,nt Think spending 5 hours everyday on facebook, or youtube, or playing games makes you some kind of it expert.

KIDS used to spend hours playing games on ps2 and pc ,before the web was widely used.
SO far i have,nt seen a great boom in irish game design and game programming from gen x .

THE amount of irish kids who will grow up to use social media as an essential part of their job will be small.

I do,nt think you can grow up to have a very social attitude ,
if you spend 8 hours a day on the net,facebook, twitter etc

When you are a teen is a crucial time in regard to developing your personality ,social skills , and communication skills.

ITS Hard to do this if you are looking at a screen most of the time.

I think using facebook etc is handy ,but its not gonna turn you into a
programmer ,
no more than playing call of duty is going to turn you into a games
designer.

When everyone uses fb or twitter ,it will not give you much of an
advantage in going for an interview in 2020.

so a kid gets home from school at 4pm ,
AND he go,es on the net for 10 hours ,
thats definitely excessive .

theres a phrase everything in moderation.

would you play the piano , or listen to cds every day for 10 hours?

SEE here
http://www.amazon.com/The-Winter-Our-Disconnect-Technology/dp/1585428558

a woman switches of all net acess, pcs,ipods etc as she found was losing touch with her
kids.

SHE finds after a few weeks they grow to like it,
they discover playing musical instruments,
reading a book etc
eg real life is there ,even if you switch off your iphone.

GarIT

I'll just leave this here, there are plenty more similar videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MF9Vqn_cQyc

endacl

frozenfrozen wrote: »

What's wrong with your daughters using the internet in your house? I'd be very worried if you hadn't been 18 seeing as you have 3 daughters. Are you taking any of your children's opinions into consideration on this matter? Seeing as you've entirely written off my opinion purely based on my age I can only assume that you've done the same to your children's views because they will obviously view it differently in a few years. This sort of babying of teenagers isn't in my opinion good parenting at all, instead of your children learning to control their own internet usage and realising why they shouldn't be spending endless hours with their heads buried in what you see as an uncontrollable waste of time.

You may view this differently in a few years too

Their house, their rules. That's how it works. It's nice to give the impression of democracy in a house. Good training for adult life. In reality though, it's best to have a benevolent dictatorship behind the democratic facade.

endacl

Ciarabear wrote: »

I think it's excessive to restrict a 19 year old's internet access when they are legally an adult. That said, your house, your rules!

Not really. Her access to the net isn't being restricted. Her access to her parents Internet access point is. Unless she's paying her full share of mortgage, utilities, food, Internet.......

GarIT

riclad wrote: »

I Do,nt Think spending 5 hours everyday on facebook, or youtube, or playing games makes you some kind of it expert.

KIDS used to spend hours playing games on ps2 and pc ,before the web was widely used.
SO far i have,nt seen a great boom in irish game design and game programming from gen x .

THE amount of irish kids who will grow up to use social media as an essential part of their job will be small.

I do,nt think you can grow up to have a very social attitude ,
if you spend 8 hours a day on the net,facebook, twitter etc

When you are a teen is a crucial time in regard to developing your personality ,social skills , and communication skills.

ITS Hard to do this if you are looking at a screen most of the time.

I think using facebook etc is handy ,but its not gonna turn you into a
programmer ,
no more than playing call of duty is going to turn you into a games
designer.

When everyone uses fb or twitter ,it will not give you much of an
advantage in going for an interview in 2020.

so a kid gets home from school at 4pm ,
AND he go,es on the net for 10 hours ,
thats definitely excessive .

theres a phrase everything in moderation.

would you play the piano , or listen to cds every day for 10 hours?

No it doesn't, you're right there but even just using a windows computer led me to begin fixing errors and things. Some people wont some people will.

I don't get the bit about not being social from being on social networks. Facebook is social.

Phrases mean nothing are wrong more then right, Adam and Eve not Steve is a phrase too. That doesn't mean its true.

While being on the internet and doing nothing else is excessive, spending several hours a day on it is not. It's just life. In work I spend 8 hours a day on the internet, In college I spend 6 hours a day on the internet. 90% of jobs involve computer usage now. While you need moderation 2 hours of internet a day is not moderation. If you want moderation limit them to 6 hours a day, its more realistic with the adult world. Over 50% of employees in Ireland spend 6+ hours of every 8 working on a computer.

If you are going to limit to kids to two hours at least do it at the time where most people are online. Facebook's most active hours in the UK is 11pm to 3am. You are treating them like 5 year olds having them off it at 10.

Computers help kids, My brother could read and do maths by three, he thought himself using the nick junior website and the hundreds of educational games, he had 24/7 access to the net from 2 years old.

People here seem to think the internet is just for Facebook. I did all my leaving cert study online, it's much better than any books. I learnt a lot about religion and politics and plenty other things.

freshpopcorn

This thread has gone out of hand and it' no help to the OP.
I think it's your house and your rules to be honest and it's up to the amount of internet access you allow in the house if you want to you can totally get rid of it or you could give the kids totally unlimited access.
I think that your kids know how to use the internet and spending hours on facebook isn't going to make them internet whiz kids.
The only advise I would give you is make sure that your kids have enough access for school/college work.
I always thought that I couldn't live without the internet but there was a time when my computer broke a couple of years ago I got on grand without it. You just occupy yourself with different things.

Ciarabear

endacl wrote: »

Not really. Her access to the net isn't being restricted. Her access to her parents Internet access point is. Unless she's paying her full share of mortgage, utilities, food, Internet.......

Which is why I said their house, their rules

endacl

Ciarabear wrote: »

Which is why I said their house, their rules

Just expanding on the point...