Accepting Pain

Das Kitty

The thread on period pain and sick leave got me thinking about women's attitudes to pain.

There's quite a few female experiences that are/can be physically painful; from periods, to childbirth (and its aftermath), to breastfeeding.

I was chatting to some female friends at the weekend and one of them had a baby about 2 years ago. She told me that sex is still painful for her and followed up with, "but that's the way it is after you have a baby, right?" After doing some investigations in the first 6 months, she had accepted that it was just an element of having kids.

Obviously, there are going to be situations where pain-management is the only option remaining, but do you think we give up trying before we get to that stage sometimes? Even when it's having a negative effect on our quality of life?

Yes women are more accepting of pain, I think it must be something to do with periods and childbirth, however there is a strong psychological element to pain so it is hard to judge objectively how much pain someone has.

seosamh1980

My God that's depressing that she just accepted that's the way it is after kids. Does the woman you were talking to think that all women who have had kids just accept painful sex after having a kid?

I remember a woman on Embarrassing Bodies who was doubly incontinent since the birth of her son...twenty years ago. She hadn't really had it investigated at all, she had just accepted it. I wouldn't rest until somebody had helped me, I couldn't just shrug it off as being "the way it is".

One of the main things that would put me off having kids actually is things like that. Many women end up with side effects/damage that they just have to accept, no thanks. I don't cope well with ongoing pain, especially as long as I think there might be a way to fix it so no, I couldn't accept it until all avenues had been investigated. I have what seems to be a bit of nerve damage and I spent a year checking out what it could be and what could be done before accepting that it was here to stay. It's not painful really, just irritating sometimes, but I hated the idea that I would just accept it without doing everything I could to fix it.

pwurple

I never accept pain.

Sex was painful after childbirth for me. I had a boatload of tests, eventually a urinary specialist found the problem. Bladder had prolapsed during the birth. Surgery wasn't an option, but some fancier pelvic floor exercises (with the aid of an ultrasound while I was doing them to make sure I had it exactly right) for a few months, and I'm back to normal again now.

Plenty of people with long term chronic illnesses have to cope with it, but until I get something like that, I am unlikely to put up with it. Even with something chronic, I'd probably still hunt for a fix.

I think the woman coping with pain better thing is just another daft generalisation. We are all different.

username123

When I began having periods they were horribly painful and I was told by the family doctor that I just had to accept it. And that things would improve "once I'd had a few kids". I was 16 years old, I'm almost 40 now and still haven't had kids, nor do I want to.

The pain was so bad that I would occasionally pass out. I never sought a second opinion or did anything because I presumed all doctors would say the same thing ( I've since learned that this is not the case at all). Anyway, one day in college, at age 19, I keeled over and passed out in pain, much to the joy of my fellow students who simply had to miss a lecture to carry me to the college doctor, who immediately prescribed heavy painkillers and the pill. No more horrendous pain.

However, I have had some painful medical issues since, not specifically female related, where I have suffered a lot of ongoing pain and doctors have not been able or willing to help out.

What I would say is this, keep seeking an answer, some doctors are better than others and before its gets to pain management there may be an answer.

I think today's society has become more accustomed to washing away pain with a pill and I wonder if that's a bad thing in some cases, then again, why suffer a headache say, when you don't have to?

It may have been a more old fashioned view that women should just put up with pain, although I do know some ladies who have also suffered issues after childbirth who simply did not follow up or sometimes were brushed off, but it's an individual thing how proactive someone is about their own health and not specifically a woman's issue IMO.

Das Kitty

pwurple wrote: »

I think the woman coping with pain better thing is just another daft generalisation. We are all different.

+1,00000

Everyone deals with pain differently. The idea that women can better "bear" pain is claptrap IMO.

Well, by the end of our convo I had convinced the girl at the party to continue looking for an answer. She didn't think all women had this pain, she just thought she was one of the unlucky ones.

I had something similar myself in my early 20s, with scar tissue on my vulva. It was incredibly difficult to get a resolution. I think I had about 4 different diagnoses, and a load of "oh it must be thrush" in between those. I was 5 years looking for an answer. I had been sent to a pain-management clinic and the only solution I was being offered was having a huge needle put through me to deaden a nerve that would mean no more pain, but no pleasure either. I took a year off at that stage just to come to terms with it.

I mentioned it to my GP again eventually (let me swab for thrush she said first), and I broke down. She told me that there was a private gynaecologist I could go to that she had heard good things about, and I had nothing to lose except my money at that stage so I went. She had me diagnosed and 90% better within 4 months. Another small op and I was 99%. 5 years out of your life from 21 - 26 years old is massive. But I'm so glad I kept going and didn't give up because the change to my life has been so huge since it was sorted.

seosamh1980

It fascinates me how doctors diagnoses can differ so much, how is it possible you could go to 4 doctors for the one thing, the same symptoms, and be told different things? I just don't get it, it's not the type of thing that opinions can be objective on, y'know? One will say you've something wrong, another will say you're fine, makes no sense.

I am not a fan of taking meds just to blanket over something, I prefer to feel the pain sometimes. Like if I have a bad headache, or bad cramps, if they are bearable at all I'll put up with it, because I want to see what's causing it, how bad it's going to get, how long it will last, etc. I hate when doctors just prescribe things to stop you feeling whatever it is, they should deal with the issue.

Woodward

seosamh1980 wrote: »

It fascinates me how doctors diagnoses can differ so much, how is it possible you could go to 4 doctors for the one thing, the same symptoms, and be told different things? I just don't get it, it's not the type of thing that opinions can be objective on, y'know? One will say you've something wrong, another will say you're fine, makes no sense.

I am not a fan of taking meds just to blanket over something, I prefer to feel the pain sometimes. Like if I have a bad headache, or bad cramps, if they are bearable at all I'll put up with it, because I want to see what's causing it, how bad it's going to get, how long it will last, etc. I hate when doctors just prescribe things to stop you feeling whatever it is, they should deal with the issue.

It depends a lot on their experience. Younger doctors tend to follow the textbook rigidly and err on the side of caution when diagnosing and prescribing drugs. Older doctors are more likely to tell you to take aspirin and see if it takes care of itself after a week or two although they might not be as up to date with contemporary practices

IvyTheTerrible

pwurple wrote: »

I never accept pain.

Sex was painful after childbirth for me. I had a boatload of tests, eventually a urinary specialist found the problem. Bladder had prolapsed during the birth. Surgery wasn't an option, but some fancier pelvic floor exercises (with the aid of an ultrasound while I was doing them to make sure I had it exactly right) for a few months, and I'm back to normal again now.

Plenty of people with long term chronic illnesses have to cope with it, but until I get something like that, I am unlikely to put up with it. Even with something chronic, I'd probably still hunt for a fix.

I think the woman coping with pain better thing is just another daft generalisation. We are all different.

I agree, I personally wouldn't accept pain, but I know other people who put up with discomfort and pain because they think that's just the way it is.

Just a bit off topic, it always shocks me that women only get offered those pelvic floor exercises with the ultrasound if there is a problem. Here in France, every woman is entitled to a certain number of pelvic floor rehab session with a midwife after a birth (once she has a doctor/gynae prescription). It makes economic sense, because once you know the exercises you can do them for life, and you'll have less problems. I definitely noticed the difference.

ShazGV

When I was in secondary school, I used to have massive problems with cramps and nausea at the beginning of my period, and missed a day of school almost every month as a result. It was horrible, I was left feeling miserable, and yet for some reason I was fairly content to deal with it because I had picked up somewhere that it was just one of those things I would have to deal with.
Thankfully my mum wasn't as complacent and really wanted to find a solution. She got me to try a few different methods to help ease the pain (for some reason I can only really remember that acupuncture was one of the ideas) and eventually from the advice of someone I started to take Evening Primrose Oil and noticed a huge change almost immediately.

But I wouldn't have done any of that had my mum not encouraged me. I was really lucky to have her, I probably wouldn't have even tried to do anything about it otherwise. I hate to think that I was so ready to just accept that pain was intrinsic to periods, so I've been less accepting of pain since then.

starling

I always had horrific period pains from the first time when I was 11 and didn't know what was happening and thought something was seriously wrong (the pain went on all day until finally I started bleeding and realised what it was).
I got a lot of "that's just the way it is" from doctors. I also got it from my mother, which is ironic since I found out years later that her period pains were so bad she would be unable to get out of bed and eventually she had a hysterectomy to "cure" them!:eek:

Our gp was a very old man who was not only incredibly old-fashioned but definitely didn't listen to what you actually told him.

At college the doctor was a bit more forward thinking and prescribed the pill; it only worked for a few months though because I reacted very badly to the oestrogen. At that stage the answer was "Not much else I can do for you so".

It was only when I started working and had money of my own that I finally got my condition diagnosed, and it took months and a lot of money. Really I think that if he'd listened to my symptoms and been up to date my original GP could have diagnosed it or at least suspected it back when I was 17 and managed to pluck up the courage to say "....and also, I have a beard, what's that about?" He dismissed me with "Oh that's normal" WTF?

But I think in my case a lot of it was individual doctors who weren't that good.

I think there is a certain view in society that period pains "can't be that bad" especially from women who only have mild discomfort and assume that those who have more pain are malingering or exaggerating.

But Ive seen that same problem come up in relation to other kinds of pain so I don't know how much of it is about women in particular.

Like other posters have said the problem is that pain is subjective and we all experience it differently. For one thing you can't test for pain, so the only thing anyone has to go on is your own description of the pain and how bad it is. It's not like a broken bone where you can hold up an x ray and say "look there it is."

Plus the way pain is actually perceived in the brain is not fully understood yet, but we do know that parts of the brain related to emotion are involved. Which fits with long standing anecdotal evidence and clinical observations that not only is your ability to cope with pain lower when you're tired or depressed, you actually feel more pain to start with.

Actually medicine is a bit behind in pain as opposed to how much is understood about something like bones or other more "mechanical" aspects of medicine. Pain medicine as a speciality - studying pain itself as a disease, rather than as a symptom of another condition - is relatively new. A lot of medical professionals outside of pain medicine don't know enough about it.

Sorry for rambling but I think there's a difference between accepting a certain kind of pain like maybe a few cramps once a month - the kind that stop you wanting to go horseback riding, not the kind that leave you curled up in a ball - and ignoring chronic pain. Don't ever do the latter. That's how I ended up disabled:(

iwantmydinner

Reading this thread makes me feel genuinely incredibly lucky, period-wise. I get cramps for the first day or two of my period; but only the kind of cramps that make me want to take a bit of a nap and are mostly dulled with a couple of paracetamol.

I have arthritis though, and also suffer from regular headaches and occasional migraines. Pain can completely stop me in my tracks, and I've more or less stopped trying to ignore it. Now, I just say "f*ck it, I need painkillers and I need sleep, end of." Putting up with pain is part of life, but only up to a certain point.

I've seen what chronic pain can do to someone, if just accepted or ignored. My mother has serious back problems and it has the living life drained out of her. In recent years, she has also developed hip problems, to the extent that you can literally see the pain written on her face, but one doctor told her it was just the ageing process combined with the effects of living with back problems and she just accepted it. Hasn't been to see an orthopaedic doctor or anything. It drives me insane because if I was experiencing as much pain as she is she'd have me driven insane asking what I'm doing about it. On top of that, five pregnancies and four full term babies have taken a severe toll on her bladder but she refuses to do anything about it - it's just what she has to put up with after having babies. The woman makes me crazy.

My father is even worse, if you can imagine. For something like three years he ignored the clear need to have hip replacement surgery. It got so bad that he could barely walk and you could actually hear his joints creaking due to lost cartilage before he went for the surgery. He then refused to take his post-op physio seriously, which compromised his recovery.

What I've taken from watching both my parents is that pain can seriously erode your ability to live life fully; knowing that I have a chronic degenerative condition that is only going to get worse as I get older makes me very determined to face pain head on and do what I can to minimise it. I do and will have to accept a certain amount of it, given my cirumstances, but I am absolutely never going to ignore it to such an extent that it compromises my daily life.

starling

^^^It must be horrible to watch your parents in pain and just accepting it for no reason I'm assuming they were brought up with the "pain is part of life and you just soldier on" attitude? I'm sure it's very upsetting for you.

Slightly OT maybe but are you based in Dublin? Because there is a pain clinic in St Vincents and I think there might be one in Tallaght too. They have this pain management programme that I would recommend without reservation, they really know their stuff and it was immensely helpful to me and the other people who did it. Unfortunately AFAIK they only accept patients from the Dublin area.

iwantmydinner

Thanks for the advice Starling but not in the Dublin area unfortunately!

coldorator

I have always had really irregular, extremely painful periods, the kind that prescription painkillers barely have an effect on. I visited a gynaecologist when I was 16 after collapsing with the pain. According to him " if it hurts it means it is all working correctly" . . . . . . My sister, who was with me, could see the anger building up in me and removed me from the room before I could murder the man.

starling

coldorator wrote: »

I have always had really irregular, extremely painful periods, the kind that prescription painkillers barely have an effect on. I visited a gynaecologist when I was 16 after collapsing with the pain. According to him " if it hurts it means it is all working correctly" . . . . . . My sister, who was with me, could see the anger building up in me and removed me from the room before I could murder the man.

OMFG what an idiot. There could have been any number of serious conditions that were causing you that much pain! I hope you got better treatment after that? No need to be living with that kind of pain.

kylith

I have to admit that I've very lucky with my periods these days; I've been on the pill for years and barely even know I have it. When I was in my teens though, I remember the pain. I used to dig pens and forks and stuff into my stomach to have some kind of reason for the pain, and I remember being doubled over on the sofa and my dad saying that it couldn't be normal to be in so much pain and my mother assuring him that it was. I kind of dread coming off the pill, to be honest.

Is it mainly male doctors who are dismissive of it?

iwantmydinner

kylith wrote: »

I have to admit that I've very lucky with my periods these days; I've been on the pill for years and barely even know I have it. When I was in my teens though, I remember the pain. I used to dig pens and forks and stuff into my stomach to have some kind of reason for the pain, and I remember being doubled over on the sofa and my dad saying that it couldn't be normal to be in so much pain and my mother assuring him that it was. I kind of dread coming off the pill, to be honest.

Is it mainly male doctors who are dismissive of it?

Yeesh, it's common, but certainly not normal, as far as I understand it.

From what I've heard, female and male doctors can be equally as dismissive. I don't have personal experience of horrendous menstrual pain though - this is what I've heard from friends and relatives.

pwurple

I don't know is it a particular gender of doctors who are dismissive. To be fair to doctors, they don't often have a lot to go on either. Sometimes people can be reticent when they discuss reproductive system issues. So they might come in with their right arm hanging off and go on about that a good bit first. And then on the way out the door say something like.... "I get a bit of pain at that time of the month". And the doctor says, "a lot?" And the person says " I dunno if it's a lot, some I guess". And the doctor says, "Some pain for some people is normal, come back to me if it gets bad.". And they never go back.

Jessibelle

Also, and has been said upthread, pain is so subjective. My sister dies every time she gets a papercut, while I've walked on a dislocated ankle for about two miles and only noticed when someone pointed out my foot was a rather fetching purple. With that said, despite outward appearances that i might have a higher pain tolerance than her, depending on her physiology, she may actually be in a large amount of pain for something 'small'.

username123

Trying to make an objective diagnosis of a subjective experience is very difficult.

I have noticed pain relief harder to get from the medical community in recent years, most recently my father in law was admitted to hospital after a fall with dreadful swelling and bruising and suspected hip replacement failure and was offered 2 paracetamol, despite him actually passing out from pain.

Last year after a surgery I was refused anything stronger than paracetamol also. I refused them as they wouldn't have touched the pain and I'd rather not have chemicals unless there was some good to come of them!

Neyite

I've shared this elsewhere on Boards, but when I got my C-section, they were incredibly stingy with the post-surgery pain meds. I got a single Difene and two paracetamol every 4 hours. Often the nurses would forget to give them, so I had to hobble up to the nurses station to get them, which I was barely able to do. They wore off too quickly so for about an hour before it was time to take the meds, I was immobile with pain. Tricky when your baby is roaring for food from the bassinet and you have to psych yourself up sit up, get off the bed, walk over, pick baby up, go back to the bed, and try to manouver yourself back against the pillows to feed.

And some domestic staffer stole my monkey bar on day 3 for another patient!

On discharge, 5 days after birth, I was given no prescription whatsoever. I went to my local pharmacist who told me he could sell me paracetamol. But 2 packets would need to be in 2 separate transactions of course. :rolleyes: This is after being hunched over going from the (illegally parked) car to the counter, breathless and lightheaded and sweating with the pain in my incision.

iwantmydinner

Neyite wrote: »

I've shared this elsewhere on Boards, but when I got my C-section, they were incredibly stingy with the post-surgery pain meds. I got a single Difene and two paracetamol every 4 hours. Often the nurses would forget to give them, so I had to hobble up to the nurses station to get them, which I was barely able to do. They wore off too quickly so for about an hour before it was time to take the meds, I was immobile with pain. Tricky when your baby is roaring for food from the bassinet and you have to psych yourself up sit up, get off the bed, walk over, pick baby up, go back to the bed, and try to manouver yourself back against the pillows to feed.

And some domestic staffer stole my monkey bar on day 3 for another patient!

On discharge, 5 days after birth, I was given no prescription whatsoever. I went to my local pharmacist who told me he could sell me paracetamol. But 2 packets would need to be in 2 separate transactions of course. :rolleyes: This is after being hunched over going from the (illegally parked) car to the counter, breathless and lightheaded and sweating with the pain in my incision.

Oh Jesus Christ, that's the worst thing I've ever heard!

NicsM

Oddly enough I actually had the oppposite experience regarding pain meds, I had a laparoscopy done in the Coombe last April and the nurses were pratically throwing pain meds at me-I was given two doses of morphine and then oxycodone which they encouraged me to take.

A laparoscopy isn't the most invasive procedure so I hadn't expected them to be so generous.

I was in A&E in Vincent's previously for the same condition and was just given paracetemol but I think the fact the Coombe is a women's hospital (as terrible as this sounds) means they are perhaps more empathetic regarding pain management.

pwurple

That's desperate Neyite. Did they not give you a call button?

I have to say, I'm the most demanding wagon in a hospital. I ring that wee buzzer like it's going out of fashion if I need something. When my stitches burst, and I couldn't move (and was told not to!), I would ring that bell for them to pick up the baby for me, to get me a drink, meds, everything. I asked for the night nurse, or the nursery nurse both to take the baby for an hour so I could get some sleep.

Don't ask - don't get... I am the noisiest thing going if I want something. Probably at the expense of the well-behaved people! :S Sorry!

gcgirl

username123 wrote: »

When I began having periods they were horribly painful and I was told by the family doctor that I just had to accept it. And that things would improve "once I'd had a few kids". I was 16 years old, I'm almost 40 now and still haven't had kids, nor do I want to.

The pain was so bad that I would occasionally pass out. I never sought a second opinion or did anything because I presumed all doctors would say the same thing ( I've since learned that this is not the case at all). Anyway, one day in college, at age 19, I keeled over and passed out in pain, much to the joy of my fellow students who simply had to miss a lecture to carry me to the college doctor, who immediately prescribed heavy painkillers and the pill. No more horrendous pain.

However, I have had some painful medical issues since, not specifically female related, where I have suffered a lot of ongoing pain and doctors have not been able or willing to help out.

What I would say is this, keep seeking an answer, some doctors are better than others and before its gets to pain management there may be an answer.

I think today's society has become more accustomed to washing away pain with a pill and I wonder if that's a bad thing in some cases, then again, why suffer a headache say, when you don't have to?

It may have been a more old fashioned view that women should just put up with pain, although I do know some ladies who have also suffered issues after childbirth who simply did not follow up or sometimes were brushed off, but it's an individual thing how proactive someone is about their own health and not specifically a woman's issue IMO.

My period has got worse as I've got older, after 3 kids and 3 csections at the age of 38 its just getting worse

gcgirl

Neyite wrote: »

I've shared this elsewhere on Boards, but when I got my C-section, they were incredibly stingy with the post-surgery pain meds. I got a single Difene and two paracetamol every 4 hours. Often the nurses would forget to give them, so I had to hobble up to the nurses station to get them, which I was barely able to do. They wore off too quickly so for about an hour before it was time to take the meds, I was immobile with pain. Tricky when your baby is roaring for food from the bassinet and you have to psych yourself up sit up, get off the bed, walk over, pick baby up, go back to the bed, and try to manouver yourself back against the pillows to feed.

And some domestic staffer stole my monkey bar on day 3 for another patient!

On discharge, 5 days after birth, I was given no prescription whatsoever. I went to my local pharmacist who told me he could sell me paracetamol. But 2 packets would need to be in 2 separate transactions of course. :rolleyes: This is after being hunched over going from the (illegally parked) car to the counter, breathless and lightheaded and sweating with the pain in my incision.

I had 3 csections in the Coombe they were always super when it came to pain meds, I even got a script for tylex after the last one.

Ginny

Jesus Neyite!
Although in my baby group the difference in treatment med wise after birth was astounding! Some girls had to practically beg for pain killers. In the Rotunda I was given Sopladine every 6 hours and ponston every 6 hours in rotation, thankfully I also left with a big script for Ponston and Solpadine just in case.

Das Kitty

Same hospital as you Neyite, and I got paracetemol and codiene. But they forgot sometimes and pressing the buzzer was getting me nowhere. I did get a script for solpadeine when I was leaving too.

I've packed some this time. I know I shouldn't (or shouldn't have to), but I don't want to be left in agony with a abdominal wound again.

Another friend of mine in the same hospital had a morphine drip with a button.

IvyTheTerrible

Where I gave birth, I got lots of Difeme or whatever it's called. I didn't need much of it after the first day or so, but I held onto it because I heard that if you don't use it and just leave it on your tray, they throw it out, they are not allowed to give it to another patient. So I have kept them for the next time I have a baby (if it's still in date!) in case I have more trouble or need for painkillers.
(I should add I had a vaginal birth, but needed the painkillers for the pain from stitches).

javagal

I had a vaginal birth, a ten pound baby,an episotemy, a ruptured placenta which had to be manually removed, 80percent of my blood lost and every one of my veins in my arms collapsed and I was only offered paracetamol twice in my 3day stay.

Then after the birth, my bleeding didn't stop for 9 weeks, when I went to my lady doctor she said "Wait another month and we'll give you a D&C"

Got a second opinion, in which my male doctor changed my pill and it stopped immediately.

iwantmydinner

^^ trauma.

seosamh1980

I'm not learning about accepting pain from this thread so much, mainly just reinforcing and adding to my list of Reasons Not To Have Kids.

iwantmydinner

seosamh1980 wrote: »

I'm not learning about accepting pain from this thread so much, mainly just reinforcing and adding to my list of Reasons Not To Have Kids.

+1,000,000 on this!

Neyite

I think that next time around ill remember the call button. And I'll also have done my research on pain meds compatible with breast feeding which is probably what stopped me asking last time.

It's such a cliche, but I would do it all again tomorrow if I had to, such is the reward. But if I thought I'd be in long term pain I would leave no stone unturned to get it sorted.

I think that because there is such an emphasis on natural childbirth without drugs some women feel that pain that we should suck up post-partum and during pregnancy. But if, as a first time mum you experience more pain than the norm, how can you know that it's more than the next woman when a midwife is stingy with paracetamol with you anyway?

starling

Ninaluna wrote: »

Oddly enough I actually had the oppposite experience regarding pain meds, I had a laparoscopy done in the Coombe last April and the nurses were pratically throwing pain meds at me-I was given two doses of morphine and then oxycodone which they encouraged me to take.

A laparoscopy isn't the most invasive procedure so I hadn't expected them to be so generous.

I was in A&E in Vincent's previously for the same condition and was just given paracetemol but I think the fact the Coombe is a women's hospital (as terrible as this sounds) means they are perhaps more empathetic regarding pain management.

I can't really complain about my treatment at the pain clinic in Vincents (it is a clinic specially for people with chronic pain from whatever cause) they give me loads of drugs. a lot of people need to try different drugs or different combinations of drugs before they find the right one, it's a question of balancing whatever pain relief you get with what side effects you can live with really. I tried about five different kinds before settling on the drugs i'm on now.

A couple of times a year I get a procedure done which is pretty painful but they do give me as much local anaesthetic as is safe. But once, just before the NTPF went up in smoke, I did get a similar but not identical procedure done in the Beacon, and because I had to put off my regular dose because it was a general anaesthetic, when I woke up they gave me oxycontin... Jesus I cried and cried, they kept asking me what was wrong and I told them "this is the first time in six years I haven't been in pain, I just want to lie here forever."

I think when you go to A&E they have very strict rules about how much pain relif they can give you, but I may be completely wrong on that.

Susie564

I don't have painfull periods, thankfully, and I've not had any kids yet (also thinking, thankfully, after reading this thread!) but I sufferred in pain for many years. It's very easy to say I wouldn't suffer in pain but when several doctors are telling you there's nothing wrong with you, you're left with very little choice other than to put up with it.

All better now - eventually got myself in front of the right doc and he diagnosed me as soon as he saw me and was able to end my pain :-)

There's also a pain clinic in James' for anyone who's interested - I attended there with some success in managing the pain while the other doc went about treating the underlying cause.

Sufferring with chronic pain whatever the source is so debilitating and can take over your whole life. The amount of people who would say to me "sure why don't you just take a couple of panadol and you'll be grand". Jeez! Now why did I never think of THAT!! ;-)

username123

Susie564 wrote: »

It's very easy to say I wouldn't suffer in pain but when several doctors are telling you there's nothing wrong with you, you're left with very little choice other than to put up with it.

+1

And I might add to that, each new consultant you want to visit might cost anything from 100-250 euro and have a waiting list, so its not always possible to just go for a second opinion. I remember one particular consultant (orthopediac) telling me there was nothing wrong when there clearly was and then having the gall to look for 180 euro for the privilege.

I have experienced having pain for years on one particular issue and spending a fortune on different consultants, physios, physical therapists, a weird healer (I was desperate), a chiropracter (I had steadily become even more desperate) - and the problem was solved in one visit to one particular physio who showed me one thing to do - and that was it.

Susie564

I did the chiropractor thing too - equally as desperate at that stage I guess. He basically insinuated that I might have cancer (I didn't/don't.....well not that I'm aware of!) and I was to eat only green food for a week and then return for a follow-up. I didn't go back :P

starling

Susie564 wrote: »

I did the chiropractor thing too - equally as desperate at that stage I guess. He basically insinuated that I might have cancer (I didn't/don't.....well not that I'm aware of!) and I was to eat only green food for a week and then return for a follow-up. I didn't go back :P

Pain is huge business. When you're desperate you're a marketing man's wet dream, and it's human nature to think "Maybe if I go to a chiropractor / buy this €100 pillow / buy this machine / buy these copper bracelets / buy these incredibly expensive supplements it'll help" rather than accepting you have to live with pain. You're at the mercy of every charlatan and quack who can think up a reasonably convincing story.

I mean I know people mean well when they say "Why don't you try acupuncture / a chiropractor / Pilates / yoga / this guy I went to when I hurt my arm" but it makes me want to start throwing punches. It basically means the ten minutes I just spent explaining how chronic pain works were totally wasted and they weren't listening at all. Plus where do they think I'm going to get the money for all these things on disability?

And I wouldn't mind but even though I don't just go trying any old thing because jim in work reckons it cured his auntie, even I've had days where I've thought "Christ if the doctor told me that cutting a chicken's head off and drinking its blood would cure me, I would do it."

the_syco

seosamh1980 wrote: »

I remember a woman on Embarrassing Bodies who was doubly incontinent since the birth of her son...twenty years ago. She hadn't really had it investigated at all, she had just accepted it. I wouldn't rest until somebody had helped me, I couldn't just shrug it off as being "the way it is".

You'll see this sort of crap with the auld lads who don't talk to their doc about problems with their package, even if they're pissing blood. For some, it seems to be due to some weird sort of pride, and not wanting to be seen as "less of a man" due to their ailment o.0

Personally, I'll blame the Irish psyche of "sure, it's grand" :mad:

kylith wrote: »

Is it mainly male doctors who are dismissive of it?

Is it mainly old doctors who are dismissive of it? Current doc is around the 40 mark. Previous old doctor was useless.

Neyite wrote: »

I went to my local pharmacist who told me he could sell me paracetamol. But 2 packets would need to be in 2 separate transactions of course. :rolleyes:

To be fair, he was doing yourself a favour, as it's illegal to give more than one per transaction, and FWIW, some places will only sell you one only.

As for the monkey bar thing, you should really follow that up with a complaint, but I wouldn't put it past a relative "borrowing" it for their family.

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

they are not allowed to give it to another patient

From my understanding, this is because they don't know how you kept the medicine, and thus it could not be as effective if you didn't adhere to the correct storage procedure, right temp, etc. It'd probably be an idea to check when your meds go out of date.

Neyite

the_syco wrote: »

To be fair, he was doing yourself a favour, as it's illegal to give more than one per transaction, and FWIW, some places will only sell you one only.

Yes I know its illegal. But I dont see how he was doing me a favour. I was en route from the hospital to home.Surely if you are limited in being able to leave the house due to surgery, the law should be that the pharmacist make a judgement call and be able to prescribe. What if I had nobody to run errands? What if I lived in a rural area without public transport, and now housebound because I had an emergency c-section and forbidden to drive, or do any housework and to lift nothing stronger than the baby or a kettle. Its a stupid blanket law that should be able to be over-ridden by a pharmacist if the need arises.

wrote:

As for the monkey bar thing, you should really follow that up with a complaint, but I wouldn't put it past a relative "borrowing" it for their family.

It was actually a domestic staffer. She was in uniform, and said "I need to take this", wheeled my bed out, took it, and fcuked off. I did mention it to a nurse, who was unable to ascertain where it went, but was also unable to find another for me, as the other patients needed theirs too.

the_syco

Neyite wrote: »

Yes I know its illegal. But I dont see how he was doing me a favour.

Have read of some pharmacy's giving only giving one packet, and totally refusing to give any more. I'd wonder if it's law now because before it was up to the pharmacist, and some just ignored the guidelines as it was easier?

starling

the_syco wrote: »

Have read of some pharmacy's giving only giving one packet, and totally refusing to give any more. I'd wonder if it's law now because before it was up to the pharmacist, and some just ignored the guidelines as it was easier?

When I was waiting to get seen at the hospital (three years on a waiting list at the height of the boom) I used to walk down one side of main st Rathmines and up the other, buying a box of painkillers at each pharmacy. I was only able to do this on a "good" pain day, and only because I was lucky enough to be able to spare the time and lived in an urban area with a plethora of pharmacies.
As Neyite has mentioned not everyone is so lucky, and she was in so much pain that this approach was not an option.
The law is IMO a knee jerk reaction, a band aid slapped on to look like something was being done to "deal with" the alarming number of attempted overdoses in this country and the abuse of things like codeine (which can't even be sold OTC in America). In that respect I understand if a dispensing pharmacist is in a difficult position.
However I happen to know of a pharmacst who gives someone I know a refill on prescription painkillers for period pain on the basis that she was originally prescribed them and shouldn't have to keep paying a doctors bill every 6 months just to keep getting them. Now I know that this is a) illegal and b) definitely not the norm - I wouldn't expect every pharmacist to do the same by any means. The pharmacist in question would never, I am sure, just hand you some controlled substance without it ever having been prescribed to you.
What I'm saying is that there are certain
areas where the pharmacist could use her own judgement and in Neyite's case the likelihood of the pharmacist facing any punitive action would probably be fairly remote.

In any case Neyite should obviously have been prescribed decent pain relief and allowed to use her own judgement on whether to take it or not. Surely if someone is assumed to be capable of looking after a baby she is also capable of making relatively minor decisions about her own medical treatment.

On second thought this is Ireland where women deemed capable of raising a baby are assumed incapable of making the choice whether or not to continue a pregnancy..........but that's another issue:D

starling

the_syco wrote: »

You'll see this sort of crap with the auld lads who don't talk to their doc about problems with their package, even if they're pissing blood. For some, it seems to be due to some weird sort of pride, and not wanting to be seen as "less of a man" due to their ailment o.0

From what I've read about this, for a long time men were taken more seriously precisely because they were less likely to complain and the doctors would think "Well it must be pretty bad if it's driven a man to see a doctor". This attitude may be changing nowadays.

the_syco wrote: »

Personally, I'll blame the Irish psyche of "sure, it's grand" :mad:

unfortunately an attitude that's shared by men and women especially of older generations:( so much needless suffering.

the_syco wrote: »

From my understanding, this is because they don't know how you kept the medicine, and thus it could not be as effective if you didn't adhere to the correct storage procedure, right temp, etc. It'd probably be an idea to check when your meds go out of date.

I understood from the post that the meds were removed from any packaging and placed loose on the tray; I wonder if there's any reason for them to do that without asking first "How's your pain? Would you like some painkillers?" if they did it would save them being wasted.

In either case I would not like to be given medication that had been given to someone else. If a medication says "return unused portion to your pharmacist" that's not so they can be given to someone else, it's so they can be disposed of safely.

Though the point about expiration that you mentioned is very important. Don't assume a medicine is okay if you don't know when it expired. Taking expired medicine could have no effect if you're lucky. If you're not it could be very dangerous.

IvyTheTerrible

starling wrote: »

From what I've read about this, for a long time men were taken more seriously precisely because they were less likely to complain and the doctors would think "Well it must be pretty bad if it's driven a man to see a doctor". This attitude may be changing nowadays.

unfortunately an attitude that's shared by men and women especially of older generations:( so much needless suffering.



I understood from the post that the meds were removed from any packaging and placed loose on the tray; I wonder if there's any reason for them to do that without asking first "How's your pain? Would you like some painkillers?" if they did it would save them being wasted.

In either case I would not like to be given medication that had been given to someone else. If a medication says "return unused portion to your pharmacist" that's not so they can be given to someone else, it's so they can be disposed of safely.

Though the point about expiration that you mentioned is very important. Don't assume a medicine is okay if you don't know when it expired. Taking expired medicine could have no effect if you're lucky. If you're not it could be very dangerous.

No no, they were given to me in their blister pack.
But if I didn't use them, they were disposed of. It seemed an awful waste to be giving pain medication to people who didn't neccessarily need them, and then to thrown them out. Hence I kept them.
The expiry date was visible on the blister pack.

Roesy

I've always had irregular, heavy and painful periods. I was referred to a gynaecologist at 21/22. She asked me how long I was in my relationship. I said about 4 years. She then queried why we weren't engaged, told me not to waste money planning a big wedding as I would probably need the money for fertility treatment and advised me to have a baby as soon as possible to sort out my periods. I genuinely would have thought the appointment was something out of a warped version of candid camera if my mother hasn't been in there with me! I struggled on for another couple of years before I was brave enough to go see another consultant who was much more understanding and helpful.

iwantmydinner

Roesy wrote: »

I've always had irregular, heavy and painful periods. I was referred to a gynaecologist at 21/22. She asked me how long I was in my relationship. I said about 4 years. She then queried why we weren't engaged, told me not to waste money planning a big wedding as I would probably need the money for fertility treatment and advised me to have a baby as soon as possible to sort out my periods. I genuinely would have thought the appointment was something out of a warped version of candid camera if my mother hasn't been in there with me! I struggled on for another couple of years before I was brave enough to go see another consultant who was much more understanding and helpful.

Oh for Christ's sake...

inocybe

I hate to break this to you all, but as a teenager I was informed by my elderly female GP that 'there is no such thing as period pain'.

Esterhase

inocybe wrote: »

I hate to break this to you all, but as a teenager I was informed by my elderly female GP that 'there is no such thing as period pain'.

Yeah, we're all making it up just to get attention and prescription drugs. :rolleyes: Christ almighty! I'm assuming/hoping this GP isn't practicing any more, given her age and clearly inadequate medical knowledge.

iwantmydinner

inocybe wrote: »

I hate to break this to you all, but as a teenager I was informed by my elderly female GP that 'there is no such thing as period pain'.

Not enough faces, not enough palms.