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What's your favourite religious fairytale?

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    #32
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    I'd love to know if that fig tree produced figs later on in the year, when it was actually in season.


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    #33
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,262 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    wprathead wrote: »
    Ha never heard this one so looked it up




    JC was bit grumpy when hungry apparently

    Indeed. A job for Mr T and a well timed Snickers if ever there was one.


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    #34
    shruikan2553
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,113 ✭✭✭shruikan2553


    wprathead wrote: »
    Ha never heard this one so looked it up




    JC was bit grumpy when hungry apparently

    Jesus eat a fig, you become a diva when youre hungry.

    For some reason I can just picture Jesus looking at the tree, narrowing his eyes and saying that as if the tree insulted his mother by saying she wasnt a virgin by the time he got his roots on her.


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    #35
    recedite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,993 ✭✭✭✭recedite


    One time Mohammad was wondering how many times a day was the ideal number of times to pray, once, twice, three times a lady...?

    The Pope had not yet been invented at this time, so there was no direct telephone line to God.

    So Mo is just sitting there smoking, pondering the problem. Next thing this flying donkey called Buraq wanders up to him, looking for some grass.
    Up jumps Mohammad onto his back and flies up to heaven on the beast.

    He meets God and does the tour. Back home he tells everyone the answer.
    Five.


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    #36
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,386 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Did the donkey sound like Eddie Murphy?

    You can't read stuff like that (or the more bizarre bible passages) and not think that certain herbal/fungal/funny coloured frog preparations were at work.

    Fingal County Council are certainly not competent to be making decisions about the most important piece of infrastructure on the island. They need to stick to badly designed cycle lanes and deciding on whether Mrs Murphy can have her kitchen extension.



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    #37
    Brian Shanahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭Brian Shanahan


    recedite wrote: »
    One time Mohammad was wondering how many times a day was the ideal number of times to pray, once, twice, three times a lady...?

    The Pope had not yet been invented at this time, so there was no direct telephone line to God.

    So Mo is just sitting there smoking, pondering the problem. Next thing this flying donkey called Buraq wanders up to him, looking for some grass.
    Up jumps Mohammad onto his back and flies up to heaven on the beast.

    He meets God and does the tour. Back home he tells everyone the answer.
    Five.

    Best thing about that one, it was written in at least 50 years after Mohammed died by the Umayyads, after the first Muslim civil war.

    Actually most of the proscriptions, prohibitions and instructions in the Qu'ran were written in by converted Rabbis after the fact, stealing liberally from the Torah and the Tanakh as they went. It is the main reason why Islam and Judaism are so similar.


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    #38
    recedite
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,993 ✭✭✭✭recedite


    ninja900 wrote: »
    Did the donkey sound like Eddie Murphy?

    Some say it even had the head of Eddie Murphy

    pqob.jpg


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    #39
    lynski
    Registered Users Posts: 1,585 ✭✭✭lynski


    I was chatting with cousins pakistani husband a few months back and he mentioned that they found some giant skeletons in the desert but 'of course the CIA covered it up in the West but they heard the truth in their media' I replied 'mm giants, is that right?' waiting for the punchline that never came. 'yes, inshallah, from the race of giants you know like in the bible', 'oh yeah, right so, more noodles?'
    Giants. I like the giant stories, i think they all look like hagrid only bigger


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    #40
    Kold
    Registered Users Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    Miracleofthefig.jpg

    "F*ck you tree."


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