What are ye're views on gay adoption?

corklad12

We can see that gay rights have improved a lot in the last 20 years. With the introduction of the civil partnership bill and also people are a lot more accepting of LGBT people than they were in the 1970/80. But would you be in favor of same sex adoption?

PizzamanIRL

Cause I need to know now, can you love me again?

SweepTheLeg

corklad12 wrote: »

But would you be in favor of same sex adoption?

No sane reason to be against it.

bumper234

I would be in favour of it. As far as i am concerned the focus should be on whats best for the child not the parents sexuality.

lkionm

Great bunch of lads

VinLieger

Well considering adoption by a gay person isnt illegal your question is kinda pointless, the real issue is gay couples arent allowed adopt as a couple so only one of the parents can be legally listed as a guardian and if something happens to that parent then the child is taken away from its other parent simply because they arent a legally recognised guardian

COYVB

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

No sane reason to be against it.

This is the long and the short of it for me. Absolutely no logical reason to decry it

December2012

I support it.

1ZRed

Scientifically there is no difference between how a straight couple raises their child in comparison to a gay couple. There is also no negative impact on a child with two gay parents, so there's actually no valid reason to oppose same-sex adoption at all.

Anyone who is still against it when all evidence points to there being no difference between the two forms of parenting is just confirming their prejudice.

OldNotWIse

This thread is disappointing.

I was expecting lots of pitchforks and banners.

Damn

mad turnip

Working with children in an 8-11 age group, I'm completely against it. The kids with single sex parents (usually single mothers or lesbian mothers in my experience) stick out like a sore thumb and you can just see so much wrong with the child even after only knowing them for an hour or two, I've seen some people argue that they will find other sex role models, well in my experience they do not....

edit: these views are based on about 100 kids over 4 years in the north dublin area.

Christ the Redeemer

Only cretins oppose it.

PizzamanIRL

I'm against it because it's selfish of the parents. They're basically saying they want to be gay but have the same benefits/possibilities as a straight couple - a child.

The child will more than likely have a bad childhood having gay parents thanks to society.

I'm not against gay people, I'm against gay people adopting/having kids.

OldNotWIse

mad turnip wrote: »

Working with children in an 8-11 age group, I'm completely against it. The kids with single sex parents (usually single mothers or lesbian mothers in my experience) stick out like a sore thumb and you can just see so much wrong with the child even after only knowing them for an hour or two, I've seen some people argue that they will find other sex role models, well in my experience they do not....

Yes, that gives your opinion authority over ours.

My godson's mother is single...he has recently sprouted a second head.

Iano_128

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

Kia_Kaha

I'd love to adopted by gays. There's no downside: great meals, new wardrobe. Where do I sign up?

Sarky

OldNotWIse wrote: »

This thread is disappointing.

I was expecting lots of pitchforks and banners.

Damn

There's an abortion thread on the go too, they'll be fairly busy making tits of themselves there.

mad turnip

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Yes, that gives your opinion authority over ours.

My godson's mother is single...he has recently sprouted a second head.

Stop putting words in my mouth, Thanks very much... You don't have to agree with my opinion but comments like that are just rude.

Ken.

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

Better to be brought up in a loving home than a succession of adoption/foster homes.

Christ the Redeemer

mad turnip wrote: »

Working with children in an 8-11 age group, I'm completely against it. The kids with single sex parents (usually single mothers or lesbian mothers in my experience) stick out like a sore thumb and you can just see so much wrong with the child even after only knowing them for an hour or two, I've seen some people argue that they will find other sex role models, well in my experience they do not....

edit: these views are based on about 100 kids over 4 years in the north dublin area.

A School of Medicine professor of paediatrics at Boston University calls this all baloney.

“Many studies have demonstrated that children’s well-being is affected much more by their relationships with their parents, their parents’ sense of competence and security, and the presence of social and economic support for the family than by the gender or the sexual orientation of their parents,” Siegel writes with coauthor Ellen Perrin, a Tufts University professor of pediatrics and director of developmental and behavioral pediatrics.

http://www.bu.edu/today/2013/gay-parents-as-good-as-straight-ones/

OldNotWIse

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I'm against it because it's selfish of the parents. They're basically saying they want to be gay but have the same benefits/possibilities as a straight couple - a child.

The child will more than likely have a bad childhood having gay parents thanks to society.

I'm not against gay people, I'm against gay people adopting/having kids.

Well sadly for you, some of us have perfectly functioning reproductive systems and intend to use them. There's nothing you can do about it.

Haaaa-ha

Though its nice to know you're "not against gay people" - I can sleep easy knowing i have your blessing.

OldNotWIse

mad turnip wrote: »

Stop putting words in my mouth, Thanks very much... You don't have to agree with my opinion but comments like that are just rude.

b...b....but...its true!

You insult every single mother and everly lesbian in Ireland...and accuse me of being rude. Now thats just...rude :rolleyes:

Corkfeen

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I'm against it because it's selfish of the parents. They're basically saying they want to be gay but have the same benefits/possibilities as a straight couple - a child.

The child will more than likely have a bad childhood having gay parents thanks to society.

I'm not against gay people, I'm against gay people adopting/having kids.

Firstly, nobody chooses to be gay. Secondly, there's no evidence that children raised by gay parents have any different a childhood to any other child. They're as good parents as anyone else.

1ZRed

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

We should ban gingers from having kids so on grounds of bullying.

I always think this point that they'll get bullied so we should be against it is pure and utter bullshít.

You'd teach your kids to be tolerant of other races and not to be a racist so why not teach them to also not bully or treat kids with gay parents any differently either? But no, that's too much effort.

Ffs you'd have to be some lazy parent not to bother your ass in doing that much. If you don't want the kids of gay parents to get bullied then do your part and teach your own kids it's wrong to do it, just like you'd teach them it's wrong to be racist.

December2012

mad turnip wrote: »

Working with children in an 8-11 age group, I'm completely against it. The kids with single sex parents (usually single mothers or lesbian mothers in my experience) stick out like a sore thumb and you can just see so much wrong with the child even after only knowing them for an hour or two, I've seen some people argue that they will find other sex role models, well in my experience they do not....

edit: these views are based on about 100 kids over 4 years in the north dublin area.

So.... would you ban single people being parents too?

OldNotWIse

1ZRed wrote: »

We should ban gingers from having kids so on grounds of bullying.

I always think this point that they'll get bullying is pure and utter bullshít.

You'd teach your kids to be tolerant of other races and not to be a racist so why not teach them to also not bully or treat kids with gay parents any differently either. But no, that's too much effort.

Ffs you'd have to be some lazy parent not to bother your ass in doing that much. If you don't want the kids of gay parents to get bullied then do your part and teach your own kids it's wrong to do it, just like you'd teach them it's wrong to be racist.

Yup, who will they be bullied by? Children of closed-minded homophobes of course.They wont teach them its wrong because secretly they want to propagate the idea that being gay is bad.

ps I was bullied relentlessly at school for being pretty and smart (and modest lol) - and my parents are straight (though I do wonder about my Dad's excellent culinary skills)

mad turnip

Christ the Redeemer wrote: »

A School of Medicine professor of paediatrics at Boston University calls this all baloney.



http://www.bu.edu/today/2013/gay-parents-as-good-as-straight-ones/

I'd say his conclusions are completely correct, just in the United States. In Several years time maybe the same study will have the same results here, but from my work with children, I believe its harmful to them in current Irish society.

PizzamanIRL

OldNotWIse wrote: »

Well sadly for you, some of us have perfectly functioning reproductive systems and intend to use them. There's nothing you can do about it.

Haaaa-ha

Though its nice to know you're "not against gay people" - I can sleep easy knowing i have your blessing.

Why do you sound so salty?

bumper234

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

Have heard of kids comitting suicide over bullying. You know how many have mentioned they had same sex parents? 0

MrPain

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

Kids get bullied for wearing glasses, should parents with glasses not be alowed to have kids as there is an increased chance they will need them.
What about fat parents?
This a problem for the parents of the children doing the bullying, they need to raise their kids to be respectful.
Others should not be limited in what they can do due to someone elses inability to teach theiri child right from wrong.

Iano_128 wrote: »

, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

A child being confused?
Option A: remove all sources of confusion and thought stimulation
Option B: educate the child that sometimes a man loves a woman and sometime a man loves a man etc.

PizzamanIRL

Corkfeen wrote: »

Firstly, nobody chooses to be gay. Secondly, there's no evidence that children raised by gay parents have any different a childhood to any other child. They're as good parents as anyone else.

Im not saying the parents are bad, im saying they will be bullied or ridiculed when people find out and the child will feel odd when he sees his friends have a mother and father.

mad turnip

December2012 wrote: »

So.... would you ban single people being parents too?

I think most people would agree its more beneficial to have two parents living together rather than being separated if they separate well the child may lose out somewhat. But in the case of gay couples your knowingly putting them at a disadvantage in life.

I'm not against gay couples, I just think children are better off in opposite sex families they might not be far worse off in same sex families but they are worse off.

VinLieger

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

LOL did you really just try to use the "cus they might turn them gay" excuse?
If that were actually the case id love you to explain how Gay people happened in the first place considering they all most likely had Heterosexual parents?

Canard

I suppose I'd be biased...but I really don't see the problem with it. I think ideally a child should have their mother and father - not because its "better", but because those are the two people who created the child. What I'm saying is I don't see it all that differently to just having straight adoption.

I know a lot of people who are against it, but who are also against parents who are alcoholics / who feel sorry for children growing up in care. I think two good role models of the same gender are better than two bad opposite sex ones, or just one, or even none at all.

I'd rather have two parents who love me equally than two who don't. A bad parent, no matter what the gender, won't make a good role model anyway.

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

Well, do you not think the same might be said of mixed race parents? After all, their children are noticeably different. Also, given that gay people don't look at their straight parents and imitate it automatically, I don't really agree with the same sex thinking.

I can't imagine it's any more confusing than having to explain to a child why there's only one parent, or why there are grandparents, or why one parent is black and one is white.

bumper234

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Im not saying the parents are bad, im saying they will be bullied or ridiculed when people find out and the child will feel odd when he sees his friends have a mother and father.

Just.......wow

Andersonisgod

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

That's a kop out. That's basically saying no child should be adopted by anybody with anything that could be picked upon by a bully. We've all been kids, if bullies want to pick on you they will find a reason regardless. What if a man and woman adopt a child but the man loses his job, bully: "ha ha your dad has no job and you're poor" what if your mother has a mole on her face, bully: "ha ha your mother's got a mole on her face" what if the bully simply decides to laugh at the fact that you are adopted, bully: " ha ha you're adopted" so now only wealthy, aesthetically perfect white middle class Catholic (because they are the majority in this country) male and female couples may adopt a child, even if any couple that may stray beyond those boundaries might do as good or a better job of raising a child.

Yes, because the lesbian or gay couple will never reveal the idea of a man and a woman being together to the child, nor will the child ever see such a rare thing on tv or walking down a street. If anything the child will simply end up being more open minded and liberal, probably a good thing too if opinions like yours are reflected among others in society.

jam_mac_jam

It's absolutely none of my business if gay people choose to adopt and why would it, I can't really see why not. If they allow single people to adopt then why not gay people. I can't see any reason not to.

LizT

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Im not saying the parents are bad, im saying they will be bullied or ridiculed when people find out and the child will feel odd when he sees his friends have a mother and father.

What about children from one parent families? Or children in foster homes? Surely the same logic applies there too.

vitani

Iano_128 wrote: »

I'm sure I'll probably be slated for saying what I'm going to say but how and ever....

Before I start I'd just like to say that I've nothing against gay people, I have gay friends and we're pretty sure my little brother is gay, so before anyone starts, I'm not a homophobe, don't hate gay people etc etc.

Does anyone here really not think it could be a bit unfair on the child? Let's be honest, kids with same sex parents are almost guaranteed to come across bullying because of it, then you've got the possible problem of a child growing up thinking that being in a same sex relationship is the correct way to be "because that's what Daddy(s)/ Mammy(s) do so it must be right.

You also have the possible problem of kids of same sex couples going over to friends houses and being confused when they see a man and woman together.

By the time a kid is old enough to go over to a friends house and take note of their family setup, he or she will have been exposed to thousands of books and films and TV programmes with the standard heterosexual family set up.

Also, straight parents don't raise solely straight children so there's no reason to believe that gay couples will raise gay children. Also, being in a straight relationship is no more 'correct' than being in a gay one. And neither is no more 'correct' than being a single parent. If everyone educated their kids that there's more than one 'correct' way to live, bullying would be much less of an issue.

PizzamanIRL

bumper234 wrote: »

Just.......wow

Yes wow.

seamus

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Im not saying the parents are bad, im saying they will be bullied or ridiculed when people find out and the child will feel odd when he sees his friends have a mother and father.

Just like the children of disabled wheelchair users must feel. Those crippled monsters, condeming children to a lifetime of harrassment because they can't just accept that as a cripple they shouldn't be parents. Imagine how their children must feel when they see their friends playing football and running on the beach with their able-bodied parents.

You see how moronic that sounds?

The "children will be bullied" argument is nonsense, because children are already bullied for thousands of reasons which have nothing to do with their parents. If anything, widespread gay adoption will prevent children being bullied because having two Dads or two Mums becomes normal and nobody gives a crap. Bullies pick on the kids who stand out for being exceptional. If gay adoption becomes normal and not exceptional, then the bullies ignore it.

PizzamanIRL

LizT wrote: »

What about children from one parent families? Or children in foster homes? Surely the same logic applies there too.

I don't know about that, I just think kids will feel different when they have 2 Dads or 2 mothers and they see everyone else with a mother and a father. It will just bring unwanted attention/hate from some people. My opinion.

4zn76tysfajdxp

I have nothing against gay adoption SO LONG AS THEY DON'T TRY TO ADOPT MY KIDS!

PizzamanIRL

seamus wrote: »

Just like the children of disabled wheelchair users must feel. Those crippled monsters, condeming children to a lifetime of harrassment because they can't just accept that as a cripple they shouldn't be parents. Imagine how their children must feel when they see their friends playing football and running on the beach with their able-bodied parents.

You see how moronic that sounds?

The "children will be bullied" argument is nonsense, because children are already bullied for thousands of reasons which have nothing to do with their parents. If anything, widespread gay adoption will prevent children being bullied because having two Dads or two Mums becomes normal and nobody gives a crap. Bullies pick on the kids who stand out for being exceptional. If gay adoption becomes normal and not exceptional, then the bullies ignore it.

Crippled children didn't choose to be crippled.

Gay parents CHOOSE to adopt kids.

OldNotWIse

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Why do you sound so salty?

Salty?

As in, sharp and witty?

VinLieger

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I don't know about that, I just think kids will feel different when they have 2 Dads or 2 mothers and they see everyone else with a mother and a father. It will just bring unwanted attention/hate from some people. My opinion.

Yes and how do opinions and societal acceptance ever change if people choose to not challenge them?

LizT

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

I don't know about that, I just think kids will feel different when they have 2 Dads or 2 mothers and they see everyone else with a mother and a father. It will just bring unwanted attention/hate from some people. My opinion.

Lots of thing will bring unwanted attention/hate. You can be bullied in school for having the wrong type of shoes. You can be bullied for having different hobbies to other children. Yes, you can be bullied for having two dads or two mothers, the point is, if children want a reason to bully another child, they'll usually find it.

seamus

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Crippled children didn't choose to be crippled.

Gay parents CHOOSE to adopt kids.

Crippled parents CHOOSE to have children.

Those selfish bastards.

OldNotWIse

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Crippled children didn't choose to be crippled.

Gay parents CHOOSE to adopt kids.

Is it even PC to say crippled anymore?

So you actually dont care about the effect on the child, you are just interested in punishing people for their "choices".

mad turnip

VinLieger wrote: »

Yes and how do opinions and societal acceptance ever change if people choose to not challenge them?

Maybe they shouldn't be changed in the first place...

Corkfeen

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Im not saying the parents are bad, im saying they will be bullied or ridiculed when people find out and the child will feel odd when he sees his friends have a mother and father.

You're going to have to prevent numerous straight people from ever becoming parents so,disabled people shouldn't be allowed to adopt etc as someone might notice. Then you have to consider the children, most children get bullied for reasons other than their parents. I got bullied throughout school, people who want to bully will use any excuse to bully so preventing same sex adoption will have no effect except for legitimising homophobia.

What society needs to realise is that bullying should never be acceptable. A no tolerance policy on bullying all round would seem far more appropriate than your solution.The best suited couple should be allowed to adopt regardless of gender.

mad turnip wrote: »

Maybe they shouldn't be changed in the first place...

Well we know where you're coming from and what to expect in future posts.