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Engagement ring.. Pick one myself or let her choose after I pop the question?

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  • 21-07-2013 7:52pm
    #1
    CiscoKid_
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭


    Hi guys,

    I'm planning on popping the question in September when on holiday with my girlfriend. But I'm not sure about the engagement ring... I mean whats better.. asking her to marry me with a ring that I picked and that I think she'll like or ask her to marry me without a ring and then the both of us go shopping for a ring that she'll love to wear?


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    #2
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Let her choose.

    Some rings dont suit certain hands and theres no way of knowing til you go try them on. She will be wearing it for life so let her pick something she loves.


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    #3
    3DataModem
    Registered Users Posts: 3,975 ✭✭✭3DataModem


    Pick it yourself, IMO

    Worked for me


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    #4
    mloc123
    Registered Users Posts: 9,454 ✭✭✭mloc123


    3DataModem wrote: »
    Pick it yourself, IMO

    Worked for me

    And to balance it out, don't pick it yourself.

    I didn't chance it and glad I did not as the one of would have picked was completely different.

    Buy a cheap temporary ring for the day.


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    #5
    kelbal
    Registered Users Posts: 839 ✭✭✭kelbal


    Buy a dress ring so you have something for the special moment, but let her know that its not the real deal and you'll go shopping later. Something like this........

    http://www.argos.ie/static/Product/partNumber/2322683/c_1/1%7Ccategory_root%7CJewellery+and+watches%7C14416987/c_2/3%7C19780838%7CRings%7C14416988/c_3/4%7Ccat_14416988%7CDress+rings%7C24507648.htm

    thats what I did!! best of luck


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    #6
    mloc123
    Registered Users Posts: 9,454 ✭✭✭mloc123


    Shopping for the ring together is fun anyway. Got engaged while on holidays and must have looked in every tiffanys between San Francisco and Vegas over the following 2 weeks.


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    #7
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    mloc123 wrote: »
    Shopping for the ring together is fun anyway. Got engaged while on holidays and must have looked in every tiffanys between San Francisco and Vegas over the following 2 weeks.

    Yeah it really is. Its romantic and giggly and you havent told people so its like ye have a secret. Its a good time.


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    #8
    Aineoil
    Registered Users Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭Aineoil


    mloc123 wrote: »
    And to balance it out, don't pick it yourself.

    I didn't chance it and glad I did not as the one of would have picked was completely different.

    Buy a cheap temporary ring for the day.

    As a woman I am torn about the question.
    It depends on your fianceé to be.
    It's kind of cute that the man's chooses the ring. My husband chose my engagement ring (which was stolen two years later). I thought it was very romantic. I loved that ring for sentimental reasons.
    He usually has good taste, but I do remember getting a pair of expensive earrings as a present that I really still don't like. (He's not on boards so shhh!)

    Years later I did buy another engagement ring which we chose together (and it way way more expensive than my original engagement ring), not quite like receiving a ring that he chose though.

    Buying a temporary ring is a good idea......so long as it's only temporary.

    Depends on your fianceé to be fair. Some girls like to get a bespoke ring made.


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    #9
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    We chose the ring together. What I thought I'd like didn't suit when I tried them on, and my husband would have picked a different style entirely.


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    #10
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    It depends on your future fiancee really ... friends have told me that if their boyfriend/fiancee had picked the ring for them they wouldn't have said yes because it shows he didn't know her well enough to know she'd want to pick her own ring.

    On the other hand my fiancee picked my ring and he was 100% right with what he picked. He had asked me a few months before we got engaged whether I'd want to pick my own ring or not and I'd said the only reason I'd want to pick my own ring is because I wouldn't want him stressing over picking the right one so he know I wasn't one of the girls who had to pick her own ring.

    If you're not sure what she'd like then I'd err on the side of caution and let her pick it.


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    #11
    name0123
    Registered Users Posts: 36 ✭name0123


    yea let her choose, I really enjoyed shopping for my ring. its a very exciting time, I do think my OH would have picked a ring very similar to what I did but let her choose


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    #12
    Nicman
    Registered Users Posts: 273 ✭✭Nicman


    Hey there,
    Congrats first of all! So I think the fact that you're even asking on boards shows how much thought you're putting into this and it's so sweet! I always said to my mates that if my (now) fiancée chose my ring I'd die. I don't really wear jewellery and not into rings so I figured if I don't know what suits me how could he.
    So he popped the question this year and sure enough he had a ring that he chose himself. I loved it and truly believe if I had picked one myself it would never mean as much to me as this does. I heard the story of how much effort he put into choosing it from the jeweller when getting it re-sized and I almost cried, it was just so sweet.

    What I would say is, if you decide to choose it yourself, bring her to the place you got it the next day, don't take no for an answer - to make sure it's "the one"! That's what we did, and because I had never tried on engagement rings before (not even secretly!), and even though I loved it, how was I to know that it was my "one"? So I was delighted to affirm it for myself - that I had the option to return it if I wanted to and 100% sure and happy that I wouldn't have chosen any other.

    Every time I look at it I beam knowing that this was chosen with love and it's therefore not just any piece of metal and stone with a price tag. It means so much to me and when people admire it I'm so proud to tell them that he chose it himself!


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    #13
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,300 ✭✭✭Gatica


    I think it really depends on her taste as mentioned..

    I think it's very romantic to have a proposal with the ring. having said that I picked mine and I love it to this day. I admire it a few times a day :p and I know that he probably wouldn't have picked it.
    It took a lot of looking around and trying on rings to find the one that looked right. Rings can look quite different on than in the display...


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    #14
    Nicman
    Registered Users Posts: 273 ✭✭Nicman


    Yeah...it's a sticky one OP! I think if I had picked my own and didn't know any different then I'd probably always say "thank God he didn't pick it"! And of course picking your own one - you'll always love it and put so much into choosing it.

    I think you've got to go with your gut here OP - you know her better than anyone (or you should do!) so you'll know if she'd appreciate the gesture or if she'd just kill you for not leaving it to her! If she's really into her jewellery I'd have to say be careful, there's a good chance she'd prefer to pick it herself. If she's not that into jewellery like me, then you can be sure that the only piece she's wearing for the rest of her life better be a good one but at the same time she may not have a specific ring in mind.


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    #15
    donegaldude
    Closed Accounts Posts: 171 ✭✭donegaldude


    let her choose, I used a dress ring first. Then we looked at rings all over the country. Eventually she decided on the ring she saw in the first shop about 6 weeks later! Glad I didn't choose one myself, it would have been totally different!
    Best of luck with it!


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    #16
    buttercups88
    Registered Users Posts: 764 ✭✭✭buttercups88


    propose with a dress ring, then go shopping together :)


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    #17
    goldenhoarde
    Registered Users Posts: 859 ✭✭✭goldenhoarde


    Hi

    A dress ring is the way to go if you are not sure of her tastes etc

    When i proposed i didn't have a ring as she didn't wear them so i couldn't plich one to get a size and also an idea of her tastes.

    Once we got back from the weekend away here where she accepted my proposal http://www.irishlandmark.com/property-listings/annes-grove-gatelodge.aspx i took her here http://www.craftsofgold.com/ to get a ring made up.

    And she loved it, once she figured out what she wanted. If i had bought a ring it i doubt would have been as nice, plus he made the wedding bands for us too.

    best of luck with it and whatever you decide, she will be happy and remember the day for ever. The ring if you chose it to do it together will be her "engagement ring" so it will always be special no matter what.


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    #18
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    I don't really get the vibe about getting a dress ring. Whatever for??? As far as I'm concerned it's money wasted that could go towards the real McCoy!

    I got engaged in Portugal. Waited until we returned to London to go ring shopping in Hatton Garden. Job done.

    OP - I'd let the lucky lady choose the ring herself. She might not like or suit what you've chosen. In my case, I thought a plain princess cut diamond would be just the job. Didn't suit me. I now have an emerald-cut ring with baguette shoulders which looks much nicer.


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    #19
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    I don't really get the vibe about getting a dress ring. Whatever for???

    I suppose its just so you can share the news and have a token on the finger? My hubby proposed on the Sunday of a bank holiday weekend so we couldnt go ring shopping for a week, I was fit to explode not being able to tell anyone!


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    #20
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    Seems to be an Irish thing. We told friends and family on our return, but didn't have a ring for another fortnight. Made no difference. We were still engaged to be married!


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    #21
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    Seems to be an Irish thing. We told friends and family on our return, but didn't have a ring for another fortnight. Made no difference. We were still engaged to be married!

    As I remember I got my nails done in that week and we did tell his granny - but no one else. We didnt want to tell until we had the ring (I cant really remember why though - but I think we thought people wouldnt take it seriously if there was no ring?).


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    #22
    mloc123
    Registered Users Posts: 9,454 ✭✭✭mloc123


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    I don't really get the vibe about getting a dress ring. Whatever for??? As far as I'm concerned it's money wasted that could go towards the real McCoy!

    I got engaged in Portugal. Waited until we returned to London to go ring shopping in Hatton Garden. Job done.

    OP - I'd let the lucky lady choose the ring herself. She might not like or suit what you've chosen. In my case, I thought a plain princess cut diamond would be just the job. Didn't suit me. I now have an emerald-cut ring with baguette shoulders which looks much nicer.

    It's less than 100e for a dress ring... You could get one for 30-40e if you wanted.


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    #23
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    mloc123 wrote: »
    It's less than 100e for a dress ring... You could get one for 30-40e if you wanted.

    I suppose you could. I still think it's a waste of money. People at home would think you pretentious...


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    #24
    cookiecakes
    Registered Users Posts: 331 ✭✭cookiecakes


    I'd let her choose. I had an idea what I wanted in my head and when we went ring-shopping, it didn't suit me at all! I'm so glad I got to choose it myself or I would have had something that I loved but which made me look like I had mad sausage fingers!


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    #25
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    to be fair my husband kept saying things to me like if we were to get engaged what kind of ring would you like?

    so we went and looked around, unbeknownst to me he later went back and bought it, and hid it for a few months until he was ready to propose, of course i had totally forgot he was asking me about them so was totally surprised when he asked AND i loved the ring.


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    #26
    BizzyC
    Registered Users Posts: 3,010 ✭✭✭BizzyC


    Try and figure out what she'd want.

    I picked the ring myself because I knew that she wanted to be surprised on the day.
    She'd have been very disappointed had I not had the actual ring there with me.


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    #27
    heroics
    Registered Users Posts: 1,878 ✭✭✭heroics


    Like some of the other posters my girlfriend did not own a ring so I had no idea of the type of ring she would like so I got a fake ring in claires accessories for about 10€ to propose and we went shopping the next day for a ring.

    Only got to the second jewellers, Quickest decision I think she has ever made :)


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    #28
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    I suppose you could. I still think it's a waste of money. People at home would think you pretentious...

    Well if people at home think its pretentious of course you shouldn't bother.
    Not everyone allows themselves to be swayed by people at home and what they might think.


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    #29
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    lazygal wrote: »
    Well if people at home think its pretentious of course you shouldn't bother.
    Not everyone allows themselves to be swayed by people at home and what they might think.

    No. And quite rightly so. But we tend not to follow the crowd, and do our own thing...


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    #30
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    No. And quite rightly so. But we tend not to follow the crowd, and do our own thing...

    Why, then, did you feel the need to post about what people at home might think? It doesn't matter a damn what people at home think.


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    #31
    viper006
    Closed Accounts Posts: 642 ✭✭✭viper006


    ABajaninCork wrote: »
    I suppose you could. I still think it's a waste of money. People at home would think you pretentious...[/QUOte}

    Why would people think its pretentious in the slightest? Proposing is a huge thing and I think its nice to have a ring when you pop the question , for the sake of 50-100e for such a occassion i dont think its a waste of money of at all. Im sure afew brides to be would be disappointed if their fella popped the question and had no ring for his fear of what other people might think. Nothing wrong in the slighest in having a dress ring if you think it would make the proposal more special.


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