bf cancelled our date because his ex is coming over to talk

ibarelycare

This all sounds a bit fishy to me tbh. Why wouldn't he just return your phonecall or even text you to tell you why he couldn't meet you, instead of waiting until late that night to call? He hasn't told the ex anything about you, why?

Whether or not the story about the ex is true, it sounds to me like he's trying to get rid of you, without having to do the dumping himself. He said it's fine if you tell him to get lost, so he doesn't seem that bothered.

Either way, you do come across as needy and low in confidence, and I think it's something you need to work on.

ShaShaBear

..... Are you sure he actually broke up with her when he started seeing you?

Few points here -

How do people know that she hasn't also gone to her family? Sometimes we need other people to talk to, especially outside of the family, when it comes to serious things. Everybody does it. It can be much easier to talk to these people rather than our family. You don't know her family situation either; it could be a toxic environment.

I have to echo what whoopsie said here, OP. You kinda messed up a little. You knew the girl was terminal, you knew the guy was the sort of one that would go out on a limb for somebody, and yet you still gave him an ultimatum. If you did that to me, especially after only two months, I'm sorry, but I'd show you the door.

Boofle

sunflower27 wrote: »

I was just about to say the same thing.

Girl mad about guy, guy not interested; girl finds out she has terminal illness and contacts guy. Whoah! Sounds incredibly odd.

If I found out I had a terminal illness, I can tell you now the last person I would be thinking about is a guy that told me he did not want a relationship with me.

And also, if he is that quick to say 'I understand if you want to tell me to get lost' then he doesn't sound overly bothered with you, OP. I'msorry, but he isn't begging you to hang in there, is he?

You come across as needy, and lonely and I think that is the real issue here.

It is OK to feel lonely, we all do at times, but it sounds to me like you need to work on that, fill your own life with things and not be depending on some guy to make you happy.

That is not going to be an easy feat, but until you do, I think you are going to feel anxious and needy - and that is never a good look on any woman.

I always recommend this book, but get it and read it: Women who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.

I think it would help you a lot. Take care xx

Excellent post; I couldn't agree more!

LittleBook

maria34 wrote: »

im a really trusting person

Maria, I assume this is a different guy to the one you posted about a few months ago? The one who said he fancied you one minute but just wanted to be friends the next?

Frankly, I don't know what's going on in this current situation but the common denominator between this thread and your last thread is you.

To answer your question "what should I do?" ... maybe you need to take some time away from men and take care of yourself for a while. It could be that you are TOO trusting, you do seem to throw yourself headlong into relationships after a short time. Maybe you're putting too much pressure on too early.

I think you should let this guy go and do whatever the hell it is he needs to do and take some time, a few months, to think about what you want and need before you embark on another relationship.

maria34

ShaShaBear wrote: »

..... Are you sure he actually broke up with her when he started seeing you?

.

If someone turns up outside his house, do you really think he's going to turn them away because it's messy? I'm sure if you actually pushed it, he would have arranged something. You only asked him once, did you try asking him again?

maria34

.

Meauldsegosha

maria34 wrote: »

I have asked him few times but he always came to mine for some reason or another.

And these both days she stayed from lunchtime till midnight at least (maybe overnights dont know didnt ask) problably so much to talk about.

I have been thinking to ask him to take a break so thats what i will suggest. All the good happy feeling is gone from my side anyway.

Well there are obviously other issues in your relationship if you are thinking of taking a break after two months. Why don't you take a complete break and finish with him. The beginning of a relationship should be happy, fun and carefree. Yours just seems to be a lot of hassle.

How do you know how long she was there or both days?

maria34

[Deleted User] wrote: »

How do you know how long she was there or

maria34

maria34 wrote: »

He told me that himself.

Have you been in constant contact with him since the he first told you about the ex? Are you texting him/calling him a lot?

maria34

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Have you been in constant contact with him since the he first told you about the ex? Are you texting him/calling him a lot?

U mean since she was over? Yes after that he rang me. We werent in contact while she was there. No texts no ph calls.

ibarelycare

Taking a break is silly after 2 months. If you're not happy just break up with him altogether.

maria34

Yes breaking up definitely now as i found out she spend all that free day with him and all night too as i found out (somebody told me) and he didnt reply my text about how it was going. Thanks guys!

CaraMay

Don't even bother having a chat with him. Just walk away and don't look back.

maria34

CaraMay wrote: »

Don't even bother having a chat with him. Just walk away and don't look back.

Yeap thats even better idea. I understand all the friend helping a friend when she has hard time, but comforting that long and letting other person to worry is out of order.