Have you ever been sent to the spare room?

Pighead

Sleeping like a baby last night when rudely awoken by Miss Piggy. Looked groggily into her big brown eyes but they were brown no more. They were red. Angry red.

Miss Piggy: You're snoring like a fcuking jackhammer. Piss off to the spare bedroom. I have to be up at 7 in the morning. I'm not sitting up listening to this noise all night.

Now Pighead had a couple of problems with this unprovoked verbal assault, main one being why the fcuk didn't she move to the spare room? Before she woke Pighead, 50% of the room were awake because of snoring. After she woke him, 100% of the room were awake. Basic maths in fairness.

Anyway, being a renowned peace-keeper, Pighead packed his overnight bag and headed to the west wing to the spare room. Was a bit miffed about it so staged a mini rebellion by building a sleep fort out of all her good cushions. Got in trouble the next day for messing with her cushions but it was well worth it.

To this day (a day later) Pighead is still convinced that she was in the wrong for sending him to the spare room but short of bringing the matter to court we'll probably never get a definitive answer.

So Pighead's question to After Hours today is: Have you ever rightly or wrongly been sent to the spare room. if you are single you can pretend that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and construct a fictional reply from the creative part of your brain.

Nemeses

It would be great if we had a spare room..

But alas, I get the couch..

hoodwinked

i also have no spare room yet, so until next year its the couch

howamidifferent

As I am master of my house she would have to go to the spare room.

**Vai**

I once spilled half a can of beer in the middle of the bed and sent myself to the spare room while she changed the sheets.

Not proud of it, I was very tired and slightly drunk.

Nemeses

hoodwinked wrote: »

i also have no spare room yet, so until next year its the couch

Couches are awesome though.. You can build your own fort with the cushions..

That will teach 'em.

bumper234

She would be hearing two words from me....one of the words would be OFF. Can you guess what the other word would be:D

hoodwinked

Nemeses wrote: »

Couches are awesome though.. You can build your own fort with the cushions..

That will teach 'em.

and use the blanket thing that there is a posher name for as roof!

Pighead

bumper234 wrote: »

She would be hearing two words from me....one of the words would be OFF. Can you guess what the other word would be:D

I'm?

jamesbondings

bumper234 wrote: »

She would be hearing two words from me....one of the words would be OFF. Can you guess what the other word would be:D

Knickers??

Was i right?

Nemeses

jamesbondings wrote: »

Knickers??

Was i right?

Jam

It has to be a jam off!

biko

I once had to sleep at the other end of the house.
It's quite a long walk from one wing to another, these old castles can be quite scary at night.

podgemonster

Well LA-DE-DA with yer spare rooms! One apartment myself, we have no choice but to endure each others Snores, Burbs, Farts, Sleep Kicks and it only makes us stronger.

Part and parcel of any relationship is hiding your contempt for your other half and putting up with it and resisting the urge to smother them in their sleep because you love them.

bumper234

Jaysus are ye all tick or what???


The answer of course is off!! You see i say off instead of of because saying off sounds posher than saying of!

paddydriver

Fcuk that.. not a chance I would leave the bed. She can wallow in my farts all night as far as I am concerned.

Earthhorse

Pighead wrote: »

To this day (a day later) Pighead is still convinced that she was in the wrong for sending him to the spare room but short of bringing the matter to court we'll probably never get a definitive answer.

If you do decide to pursue the matter there I'd be happy to represent you, free of charge. I've argued before some of the toughest judges in the country, though admittedly this will be my first time doing so as a lawyer.

Nemeses

Earthhorse wrote: »

If you do decide to pursue the matter there I'd be happy to represent you, free of charge. I've argued before some of the toughest judges in the country, though admittedly this will be my first time doing so as a lawyer.

Don't worry, Everyone has a first time..

Pumpkinseeds

I have occassionally gone to the spare room to avoid smothering Mr P in his sleep when he's snoring. Snoring husband = sleep deprived and pis*ed off wife. Nothing short of surgery will cure snoring though. Besides I've woken myself up snoring a couple of times when I've had a flu/cold and he didn't complain so I can't really bitch at him for it:)

ItsNoAlias

I tend to stay in the "spare" room a lot... I just prefer having a bed to myself, it gets too warm otherwise.

castletownman

I don't think that there's a more deflating feeling for a man than being sent to the spare room for being too handsie on a worknight

Ash.J.Williams

i once had an ex thick with me all day ...managed to find out why eventually....i was snoring the night before...I could see her copping that she was being stupid when i told her "how the f** did i know....i was fast asleep"

NothingMan

My lady is one of those damn cuddly sleepers. She knows sending me to another bed would not be punishment as I'd sprawl out and sleep like a baby instead of waking up jammed against the wall or almost falling out of the bed with her trying to climb inside my skin.

Rabies

We have a spare room.

I've slept in it by choice once or twice. But i was sick. She has slept on the couch once because of my snoring.
Our spare room has a bed and another couch, but really its set up as my movie and playstation room

Agricola

Think its fair she booted ya tbh. Beds are for sleeping in. (yeah yeah and ridin') But if one person is making such a ridiculous amount of noise that the other person hasnt a hope of going to sleep, then that person needs to make trumpet sounds somewhere else.

Specialun

Pighead is under the Thumb

cherryghost

Pighead sounds like you got the short end of the stick there. Myself or the OH just bugger off to the other room if we can't sleep for some reason, trying not to disturb the other in the process. I think you need to lay down some rules with her.

Royal Irish

I once checked into a hotel near my girlfriends house cause my back was in bits from sharing a single bed with her for a few nights.

Specialun

Royal Irish wrote: »

I once checked into a hotel near my girlfriends house cause my back was in bits from sharing a single bed with her for a few nights.

Hope you secured the roide

Pighead

Specialun wrote: »

Pighead is under the Thumb

Untrue. Pighead is subservient to just one person on this planet and that's his Mammy.

Only reason Pighead went to the spare room without a fight is because he was in the mood for making cushion forts. End of story.

the purple tin

How dare she! Get your own back by placing her morning cup of tea slightly out of her reach, Pighead.

pharmaton

I've several spare rooms but no, the last time someone awoke me with snoring even moving myself to the spare room didn't help ease the disturbance so I just made sure to never allow them in my house again and occasionally remind them what a loud obnoxious bastard they are.

The Backwards Man

Anyone else just a tiny bit disillusioned that Pighead isn't the carefree, devil-may-care international man of mystery that they thought he was?

It's like expecting Sean Connery and getting Mr.Bean.:mad:

starlit

Ha ha ha @ op! i probably would but never been in a long term relationship so hasnt really happened to me. End up in seperate rooms/beds if sharing with friends/family anyway despite me sounding like a tractor!

Umbrella

Pighead wrote: »

Sleeping like a baby last night when rudely awoken by Miss Piggy. Looked groggily into her big brown eyes but they were brown no more. They were red. Angry red.

Miss Piggy: You're snoring like a fcuking jackhammer. Piss off to the spare bedroom. I have to be up at 7 in the morning. I'm not sitting up listening to this noise all night.

Now Pighead had a couple of problems with this unprovoked verbal assault, main one being why the fcuk didn't she move to the spare room? Before she woke Pighead, 50% of the room were awake because of snoring. After she woke him, 100% of the room were awake. Basic maths in fairness.

Anyway, being a renowned peace-keeper, Pighead packed his overnight bag and headed to the west wing to the spare room. Was a bit miffed about it so staged a mini rebellion by building a sleep fort out of all her good cushions. Got in trouble the next day for messing with her cushions but it was well worth it.

To this day (a day later) Pighead is still convinced that she was in the wrong for sending him to the spare room but short of bringing the matter to court we'll probably never get a definitive answer.

So Pighead's question to After Hours today is: Have you ever rightly or wrongly been sent to the spare room. if you are single you can pretend that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and construct a fictional reply from the creative part of your brain.

Pighead what is the secret of your eloquence?

Zen65

**Vai** wrote: »

I once spilled half a can of beer in the middle of the bed and sent myself to the spare room while she changed the sheets.

Not proud of it, I was very tired and slightly drunk.

Did it spill out from your bladder?

Z

hatrickpatrick

Pighead wrote: »

Anyway, being a renowned peace-keeper pussy-whipped pushover, Pighead packed his overnight bag and headed to the west wing to the spare room.

FYP

pickarooney

bumper234 wrote: »

She would be hearing two words from me....one of the words would be OFF. Can you guess what the other word would be:D

Dance?

Pumpkinseeds

Pighead wrote: »

Untrue. Pighead is subservient to just one person on this planet and that's his Mammy.

Only reason Pighead went to the spare room without a fight is because he was in the mood for making cushion forts. End of story.

She doesn't know that you call her miss piggy, does she? Cause honestly Pighead that's almost as bad as taking your mammy's side against hers, on any matter in the universe, doesn't even matter what that matter might be. It should still be a hanging offence:D

Pighead

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Anyone else just a tiny bit disillusioned that Pighead isn't the carefree, devil-may-care international man of mystery that they thought he was?

It's like expecting Sean Connery and getting Mr.Bean.:mad:

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

FYP

Woah, tough crowd. Pighead opens his heart to After Hours and gets called Mr Bean and pussy whipped. Ouch. Word of advice fellas. Never ever become counsellors.

Anyway, if you think about the story for a second you will realise that Pighead is completely carefree and in charge of his own destiny. The very fact he snored in the first place was a subconscious 'fcuk you I'll do what I want two fingered salute' to Miss Piggy. Men who don't snore are afraid of the consequences. Pighead laughs in the face of consequences.

Insect Overlord

Pighead wrote: »

Anyway, if you think about the story for a second you will realise that Pighead is completely carefree and in charge of his own destiny.

Pighead is the man, even in his spare room pillow-fort.

Neyite

I wanna make a cushion fort now!

Sir Humphrey Appleby

I've been sent to the spare room, only to be kept awake by the OH's own snorning and worse, her "personal noises"!:o

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Pighead wrote: »

Sleeping like a baby last night when rudely awoken by Miss Piggy. Looked groggily into her big brown eyes but they were brown no more. They were red. Angry red.

Miss Piggy: You're snoring like a fcuking jackhammer. Piss off to the spare bedroom. I have to be up at 7 in the morning. I'm not sitting up listening to this noise all night.

Proper ****ign order. Case closed.

the purple tin

Old and grey wrote: »

I've been sent to the spare room, only to be kept awake by the OH's own snorning and worse, her "personal noises"!

Farting?

gurramok

Jayzus swine and sow(:D ), just use earplugs?! Problem solved.

mattjack

Pighead , tonight is the night you retake control.

Build yourself a bigger,better pillow fort and stay in it again tonight.

If she,s anything like Mrs Mattjack who gets 'fraid of the dark and stuff , you should be back sleeping her warm caress soon listening her content breathing.

Mrs. Mattjack didn,t like the idea of staying in my pillow fort, but she learned her lesson.

counterlock

I once got sent to the spare room for constantly speaking of myself in the third person

MomijiHime

My room might as well be the spare room. Whenever we have guests, I'm kicked out and have to sleep in my sister's room.

fergiesfolly

Mrs folly got me a Snoring ring some months back, after years of complaining.
I laughed at her, but she made me wear it.
Now, I don't know if it works(and I have huge doubts) but after forking out €40 for the thing, she can't/won't admit that it doesn't work and I don't get woken in the middle of the night

sneakyST

I no more want to be woken in the night because I snore like a pig, so I get sent to the spare room before sleep has occurred.
Sleep is the one thing i like to do on my own....

vicwatson

I'm sure Miss Piggy NEVER snores?

Like wimmin don't fart - they just cough in their knickers !