Junior Cert. Corrections

positivealf

Hey guys could you mark my answer out of 70 for Personal writing in English, I'm not sure what exam paper year this came from, I know it's not the best but short stories aren't really my thing, I'm going to do the speech but i figured I might as well try.


Write a composition on how one should spend a good Saturday evening

Coding, what exactly is coding you may ask, besides it being one of my favourite past times; coding is a tool which can be

used to create websites, games and graphics. Have you ever wondered how websites and networks such as facebook and

myspace were made? Well the answer to this is coding, there are many different types of coding languages such as python

and php, one of the most common types of languages you may have heard of are html and javascript. I have been coding

ever since I could walk and I must say it's a very rewarding experience. The perks of coding are limitless, why play video

games when you can make your own games? Furthermore coding is a skill which opens the door to your imaginationand

creativity, why be confined to endless hours on television and myspace when can be you can be creating the next

facebook! If you've been paying attention to great revolutionaries such as Bill Gates you'll surely know that coding is the

next big thing, with thousands of occupational prospects why wouldn't you want to code? It's always best to start now than

later.

After spending hours sitting in front of a screen coding what's better than have a great workout session to loosen those

joint? Exercise is a great way to improve your body's condition and strenghten those bones, it's a proven fact that workouts

such as cardiovascular activies can decrease the risk of high blood pressure. One of the greatest aspects about coding is

that it can be done in many forms such as football, tennis, basketball or even meditation. I admit going to parties are fun

however your healthy should come first, right? Keeping your body fit can also keep your mind fit and healthy too.

A good workout is beneficial for your body but what of your brain? Well what better way to exercise and engage your brain

by reading? Now many young adults have many different opinions on reading and many of them would be somewhere

along the lines of "reading is way too boring!". I'm sure however that if people actually took the time to read their opinions of

reading would be a lot more different. Reading not only stimulates your brain, it also improves your vocabulary and opens

up a new world, why do the smart people always spend their time reading? Well it's obvious, they have discovered a whole

new world where their imaginations are free to roam, reading allows people to be more aware of their surroundings. What's

better way to end a good Saturday evening than by reading.

From the above points, spending a Saturday evening partying and gaming can be evidently seen as unproductive and

pointless compared to spending your time being more productive by doing activies such as reaing, coding or exercising, which to many young adults, appear "lame". Which are actually, really enjoyable.

DublinArnie

I'll give it the 50s/70. It's too "bland" as you're only talking about coding. You should write something where the examiner can relate to when she/he was your age too.

MmmPancakes

It's very short, I'd give it around the 50s also, try to beef it up with an exciting plot twist, maybe how you hacked someones facebook and it didn't go well etc etc. Try use descriptive adjectives also

positivealf

MmmPancakes wrote: »

It's very short, I'd give it around the 50s also, try to beef it up with an exciting plot twist, maybe how you hacked someones facebook and it didn't go well etc etc. Try use descriptive adjectives also

Thanks so much, u just reminded me of something important.

Imaginary Friend

You should add in in some event or anecdote to spice it up, the topics are good but it could be more exciting. 50s because you have generally good grammar and expression, just work on the subject matter.

Cr4pSnip3r

Our English teacher said that all our personal writing should be at least 3 A4 pages long, what do you guys think?

Imaginary Friend

Cr4pSnip3r wrote: »

Our English teacher said that all our personal writing should be at least 3 A4 pages long, what do you guys think?

I did one that was 2 and a half but it was really, really good quality and it got in the high 50s. Then I did one that was almost 5 and it got an A. So the more the better, I guess.

DublinArnie

Cr4pSnip3r wrote: »

Our English teacher said that all our personal writing should be at least 3 A4 pages long, what do you guys think?

The essay i'm going to write for my paper one is only approx 2 1/2 pages with my handwriting (I can writie about 7/8 words per line). All essays should be 2 pages plus but it doesn't matter if you write 10 pages, it's what you write :rolleyes:.

DublinArnie

Imaginary Friend wrote: »

I did one that was 2 and a half but it was really, really good quality and it got in the high 50s. Then I did one that was almost 5 and it got an A. So the more the better, I guess.

That's mad :eek::eek:.

Imaginary Friend

DublinArnie wrote: »

That's mad :eek::eek:.

What's mad?

DublinArnie

Imaginary Friend wrote: »

What's mad?

Writing 2 1/2 pages and getting a B .. then writing 5 pages and getting an A. The amount shouldn't really matter??? ... you just blew my mind .. i'm worried about my essay now XDDD. :pac:

spurious

The amount doesn't matter. 8 pages of crap is still 8 pages of crap and will score less than 2-3 pages of good writing.

To know what good writing is, read classic books.

Imaginary Friend

DublinArnie wrote: »

Writing 2 1/2 pages and getting a B .. then writing 5 pages and getting an A. The amount shouldn't really matter??? ... you just blew my mind .. i'm worried about my essay now XDDD. :pac:

Ah no the second one was more well-written as well (although before she marked it I viewed it as just a long rant. She said it was 'impassioned' :P and that if I did that essay in my Leaving Cert I'd be flying!).

So it was the writing. Also, the first one was a narrative and the second an essay.

Cr4pSnip3r

spurious wrote: »

The amount doesn't matter. 8 pages of crap is still 8 pages of crap and will score less than 2-3 pages of good writing.

To know what good writing is, read classic books.

Any suggestions, o great spurious?

DublinArnie

Cr4pSnip3r wrote: »

Any suggestions, o great spurious?

I'm going to start reading more this summer, so Spurious ... any good detective/horror/mystery books?

Imaginary Friend

DublinArnie wrote: »

I'm going to start reading more this summer, so Spurious ... any good detective/horror/mystery books?

I have a blog where I review/ recommend books

DublinArnie

Imaginary Friend wrote: »

I have a blog where I review/ recommend books

Imaginary Friend .. you know i've helped you care to help me?

spurious

I just finished an unusual book which I chose purely because of the title 'The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared'.

It's not old, or a classic by any means, but it's a quick and funny read and would appeal to those people who like 20th Century History.

Classics - Moby Dick, Jane Eyre, anything by Dickens, anything by Austen, etc.

Imaginary Friend

DublinArnie wrote: »

Imaginary Friend .. you know i've helped you care to help me?

OK, I'm not going to try to be pretentious, I have read a few of the classics but apart from Little Women I didn't enjoy many. Dystopians and post-apocalyptics (i.e. corrupt government, like The Hunger Games) are great. Try Partials and Fragments by Dan Wells or Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (a real sci-fi classic). Also, the Skulduggery Pleasant series is hilarious. And Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. And North Child by Edith Pattou. Just looking at my bookshelf here, I could go on forever but they're all on the blog xD

The blog is www.darquessedreams.blogspot.ie, sorry if this is advertising but if that's what you were asking

DublinArnie

Imaginary Friend wrote: »

OK, I'm not going to try to be pretentious, I have read a few of the classics but apart from Little Women I didn't enjoy many. Dystopians and post-apocalyptics (i.e. corrupt government, like The Hunger Games) are great. Try Partials and Fragments by Dan Wells or Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (a real sci-fi classic). Also, the Skulduggery Pleasant series is hilarious. And Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. And North Child by Edith Pattou. Just looking at my bookshelf here, I could go on forever but they're all on the blog xD

The blog is www.darquessedreams.blogspot.ie, sorry if this is advertising but if that's what you were asking

I hate sci-fi XD. I'm a nerd when it comes to post-apocalypic ... I've watched every film on the theme that exsits XDDDD. I'll have a look at the blog . you should probably PM me it and re-edit this just in case if the mods get you anyway.

Imaginary Friend

DublinArnie wrote: »

I hate sci-fi XD. I'm a nerd when it comes to post-apocalypic ... I've watched every film on the theme that exsits XDDDD. I'll have a look at the blog . you should probably PM me it and re-edit this just in case if the mods get you anyway.

I'll PM you if I figure out how to xD MODS DON'T EAT ME I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP! :P Ah sure, have a look if you want. i'm fighting to keep it active because of this bedamned Junior Cert :rolleyes:

DublinArnie

Imaginary Friend wrote: »

I'll PM you if I figure out how to xD MODS DON'T EAT ME I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP! :P Ah sure, have a look if you want. i'm fighting to keep it active because of this bedamned Junior Cert :rolleyes:

Click on my user name .. go to contact .. and click send private message XD. Better hurry before Spurious checks the forums again :rolleyes:

The Union Forever

spurious wrote: »

The amount doesn't matter. 8 pages of crap is still 8 pages of crap and will score less than 2-3 pages of good writing.

To know what good writing is, read classic books.

F.Scott Fitzgerald will change you~

positivealf

Spurious please sprinkle all ur wisdom on me(no pun intended) and give me the best advice you can give for English and Irish

Lost In Confusion

if i write one of my short stories up now could you guys grade it for me?

positivealf

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

if i write one of my short stories up now could you guys grade it for me?

yes

Imaginary Friend

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

if i write one of my short stories up now could you guys grade it for me?

yep

Lost In Confusion

my bruises turned blue, black and green as I sat in the heavy, rusting iron cage like an abandoned dog. It was quite, the only sound I managed to hear was the sound of the wind whistling outside the barn. My hands and feet were tied with heavy metal chains, covered with salt, placed on my cuts to make me feel the pain. My mouth was covered with sticky duct-ape that was so tight against my mouth, that it felt like it was zipped. My eyes were blindfolded tightly with a foul smelling cloth but the smell of my own urine and blood from my terrible wounds dominated the place.What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing, I was simply repaying my parents debt.

I was working late the day I got kidnapped,finishing an incomplete assignment on advertisement due for work the following day. I departed the office with my black coffee which was piping hot as always. As I sipped my coffee, it burned the roof of my mouth which left an irritating,rough sand paper feeling. The feeling really irritated me so I decided to head back towards the office to get a drink of cold water. As I turned around the corner, approaching the office, a tall bony figure appeared in front of me. It was a man. He stared at me with his sharp green eyes without a blink. He was tall, bony and had filthy hair. His hair was so filthy it resembled an ancient broomstick. The left hand side of his face was terribly scarred. He was dressed in old,worn out blue jeans and a baggy t-shirt that appeared to once be a brand new white t-shirt which was now grey with filth. From his appearance and the way he was dressed I concluded he was a beggar.

I was wrong.

Ok this is a sample of the type of essays I write, usually narrative and suspense kind of things. That's two paragraphs can you tell me your opinion on it so far? I was thinking of continuing using this story and have it prepared for Wednesday

positivealf

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

my bruises turned blue, black and green as I sat in the heavy, rusting iron cage like an abandoned dog. It was quite, the only sound I managed to hear was the sound of the wind whistling outside the barn. My hands and feet were tied with heavy metal chains, covered with salt, placed on my cuts to make me feel the pain. My mouth was covered with sticky duct-ape that was so tight against my mouth, that it felt like it was zipped. My eyes were blindfolded tightly with a foul smelling cloth but the smell of my own urine and blood from my terrible wounds dominated the place.What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing, I was simply repaying my parents debt.

I was working late the day I got kidnapped,finishing an incomplete assignment on advertisement due for work the following day. I departed the office with my black coffee which was piping hot as always. As I sipped my coffee, it burned the roof of my mouth which left an irritating,rough sand paper feeling. The feeling really irritated me so I decided to head back towards the office to get a drink of cold water. As I turned around the corner, approaching the office, a tall bony figure appeared in front of me. It was a man. He stared at me with his sharp green eyes without a blink. He was tall, bony and had filthy hair. His hair was so filthy it resembled an ancient broomstick. The left hand side of his face was terribly scarred. He was dressed in old,worn out blue jeans and a baggy t-shirt that appeared to once be a brand new white t-shirt which was now grey with filth. From his appearance and the way he was dressed I concluded he was a beggar.

I was wrong.

Ok this is a sample of the type of essays I write, usually narrative and suspense kind of things. That's two paragraphs can you tell me your opinion on it so far? I was thinking of continuing using this story and have it prepared for Wednesday

Out of 20 I would give it 16, you made some a spelling mistake "duct-ape" (made me lol) I took marks off because Idk. XD

Lost In Confusion

positivealf wrote: »

Out of 20 I would give it 16, you made some a spelling mistake "duct-ape" (made me lol) I took marks off because Idk. XD

i use chrome and i hat it has ductape and it put a red line under it :P what would you suggest for change?

DublinArnie

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

my bruises turned blue, black and green as I sat in the heavy, rusting iron cage like an abandoned dog. It was quite, the only sound I managed to hear was the sound of the wind whistling outside the barn. My hands and feet were tied with heavy metal chains, covered with salt, placed on my cuts to make me feel the pain. My mouth was covered with sticky duct-ape that was so tight against my mouth, that it felt like it was zipped. My eyes were blindfolded tightly with a foul smelling cloth but the smell of my own urine and blood from my terrible wounds dominated the place.What did I do to deserve this? I did nothing, I was simply repaying my parents debt.

I was working late the day I got kidnapped,finishing an incomplete assignment on advertisement due for work the following day. I departed the office with my black coffee which was piping hot as always. As I sipped my coffee, it burned the roof of my mouth which left an irritating,rough sand paper feeling. The feeling really irritated me so I decided to head back towards the office to get a drink of cold water. As I turned around the corner, approaching the office, a tall bony figure appeared in front of me. It was a man. He stared at me with his sharp green eyes without a blink. He was tall, bony and had filthy hair. His hair was so filthy it resembled an ancient broomstick. The left hand side of his face was terribly scarred. He was dressed in old,worn out blue jeans and a baggy t-shirt that appeared to once be a brand new white t-shirt which was now grey with filth. From his appearance and the way he was dressed I concluded he was a beggar.

I was wrong.

Ok this is a sample of the type of essays I write, usually narrative and suspense kind of things. That's two paragraphs can you tell me your opinion on it so far? I was thinking of continuing using this story and have it prepared for Wednesday

Very descriptive! Some things don't make sense like "I was woking late the day I got kidnapped". Overall, sounds very interesing! Maybe look up new words and replace the simple words so you won't be repeating the same word over and word, it shows the examiner you know your verbs etc which will give marks!


14/20 .. that's a B, which is good!

Lost In Confusion

DublinArnie wrote: »

Very descriptive! Some things don't make sense like "I was woking late the day I got kidnapped". Overall, sounds very interesing! Maybe look up new words and replace the simple words so you won't be repeating the same word over and word, it shows the examiner you know your verbs etc which will give marks!


14/20 .. that's a B, which is good!

okay can you give me an example of where i made those mistakes? and how does i was working late the day i got kidnapped doesn't make sense? I need to understand why its wrong so i can fix it thanks for help

positivealf

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

okay can you give me an example of where i made those mistakes? and how does i was working late the day i got kidnapped doesn't make sense? I need to understand why its wrong so i can fix it thanks for help

It makes sense but i think the problem is Arnie. Anyway I think it's pretty good the only problem was that I didn't read the full essay

DublinArnie

positivealf wrote: »

It makes sense but i think the problem is Arnie. Anyway I think it's pretty good the only problem was that I didn't read the full essay

My teacher trained us to be stricter than the actual examiners .. so don't blame me if you didn't get an A! The essay is good standard, so don't worry.

Lost In Confusion

positivealf wrote: »

It makes sense but i think the problem is Arnie. Anyway I think it's pretty good the only problem was that I didn't read the full essay

i would have typed it all up its just i need to make up an ending :P

Pwee2029

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

i would have typed it all up its just i need to make up an ending :P

When making endings, never go with the unrealistic "happily ever after". The examiners aren't kids anymore so make your ending interesting and unique. I bet most girls will have a happy ending in their essays and boys will have a tragic death as their ending.

Lost In Confusion

Pwee2029 wrote: »

When making endings, never go with the unrealistic "happily ever after". The examiners aren't kids anymore so make your ending interesting and unique. I bet most girls will have a happy ending in their essays and boys will have a tragic death as their ending.

lol i know my ending i just didnt put in the descriptive ending bit on it like developed it. i cud tell u what happens in a line :P

Pwee2029

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

lol i know my ending i just didnt put in the descriptive ending bit on it like developed it. i cud tell u what happens in a line :P

If it's scary, no otherwise yes ok

spurious

Lost In Confusion wrote: »

okay can you give me an example of where i made those mistakes? and how does i was working late the day i got kidnapped doesn't make sense? I need to understand why its wrong so i can fix it thanks for help

If you left it at 'I was working late that day' then it would have much more suspense as the reader needs to read on to find out what happened you.
The little bit you wrote, I enjoyed.


...and then I woke up and it was all a dream.

cathal2013

The new dan brown book, Inferno is really good if you liked the da Vinci code...