Do you secretly wish your parents were dead?

Kidchameleon

Well do you?

Recently I have heard in conversations things like "ah sure ill be worth a few hundred k when me ma kicks the bucket" and "Cant really travel at the moment what with the mortgage and car loan but when the parents kick the bucket ill do a bit".

Me personally, no, I don't wish they were dead (dad passed a few years ago but mam is still here). No matter how bad things have got for me, I still feel life is better with the mammy around.

foxinsox

You need better conversations to hear!

That's just a nasty and crass thing for anyone to say.

Festy

Dafuq

bacon n eggs

yes

LoonyLovegood

When I lived with them, yeah, because they got on my nerves. Now, I wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China.

Sulla Felix

One of them is. Anyone wishing theirs are dead just so they can inherit a bit of cash is a fool.

Obro

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Well do you?

Recently I have heard in conversations things like "ah sure ill be worth a few hundred k when me ma kicks the bucket" and "Cant really travel at the moment what with the mortgage and car loan but when the parents kick the bucket ill do a bit".

Me personally, no, I don't wish they were dead (dad passed a few years ago but mam is still here). No matter how bad things have got for me, I still feel life is better with the mammy around.

I would gladly pay a few hundred K to keep them around if I had it.

The Backwards Man

Jesus.

Teyla Emmagan

God no, I love my folks.

Jimmy Iovine

Absolutely not. I'm living away from home at the moment and I really miss just sitting down and having a chat with them. They have a wealth of experience of life that could help me out no end.

Ihatecuddles-old

No way...the day one of them dies will be the day Im changed forever. Im not grown up enough to be an orphan They took me from a bad situation when i was very young and gave me a great life, my dad is 70 now. Dreading the day.

ruthiepie

Obro wrote: »

I would gladly pay a few hundred K to keep them around if I had it.

I'm with you on that I would pay anything to hang onto them as long as I can. Even if my parents were wealthy, I still would not wish that in a million years.

Whoever was talking about that must not have a good relationship with their parents. That's the only reason I can think of for saying something that horrible!!!

SCOOP 64

Both are and i wish they weren't.

PizzamanIRL

What the ****? No. Money isn't everything. Whoever said that deserves to be dead themselves.

FreshKnickers

It's not a secret...

Peregrine

That is actually a real insult to orphans everywhere

It's just horrible to wish death upon the people that created you, fed you and protected you.

Cody Pomeray

Not Yet!

All sorts of things happen in old age; alzheimers, diabetes, parkinsons, stroke, other dementia, mobility issues and so on. Before my Granny died she had serious health problems, my parents hoped she would die. I can't imagine wishing your parent would die, but it might happen to many of us some day.

I'd rather not think about it.

efb

No

bacon n eggs

wouldn't want it for the money.

TheBody

Me and my mother never got on. She passed away in December. I wish her back every day.

wush06

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Both are and i wish they weren't.

I feel your pain.

My name is URL

It's ironic when you think about it. People wishing their parents were dead because they rely so heavily on taking what they made of their lives. Ironic and depressing.

Real Life

Absolutely not. my parents are the reason im still here.

MurdyWurdy

God no, something happening to one of them is one of my biggest fears. It makes me feel sick to think about it. I'm deluding myself that they're going to live forever!

matTNT

Imagine having loved a child the best you can, having tried to provide them with an education, decent habits and safe environment to grow up in, this child turns around, now a grown adult and wishes that you were dead. They are not fit to live it is one of the most materialistic attitudes I have heard.

Now if this was said in joking then it might be different, but even still, just sounds vile and ignorant to me.

Yakult

Would not want to know a person who thinks like that. Sound like horrible people.

Odysseus

Nimrod 7 wrote: »

That is actually a real insult to orphans everywhere

It's just horrible to wish death upon the people that created you, fed you and protected you.

That it maybe.

However, the amount of clients I have heard state this over something very similar is ver high, and I'm not taking about subtle unconscious wishes, these are very clear and very conscious.

wolfpawnat

I dislike my parents, one abandoned us when my sister and I were babies and the other had not much time for us either, resenting us. Do I want them dead? No. I don't think of them so I don't care if they live or die. I wish them no harm but they effect my life in no way and when they do pass, I want nothing from either of them.

bacon n eggs

Imagine having loved a child the best you can, having tried to provide them with an education, decent habits and safe environment to grow up in, this child turns around, now a grown adult and wishes that you were dead. They are not fit to live it is one of the most materialistic attitudes I have heard.

imagine having a parent abuse you mentally physically and emotionally from an age you can remember till the age of 16 when you get away... yeah love em to bits, upstanding members of the community

BillyMitchel

Nah mine are great craic, sure the old dear just gave me chicken wings, pizza and a cup of tea. Prob head out with them for a drink tomorrow too.

Doctors are telling us that my old man is dying for the last ten years and he's still flying around. So we know is end could be anytime but if something happened my mam I'd be devastated and seriously lost regardless of my age or my own family circumstances.

Odysseus

Odysseus wrote: »

That it maybe.

However, the amount of clients I have heard state this over something very similar is ver high, and I'm not taking about subtle unconscious wishes, these are very clear and very conscious.

Self selection bias if your occupation is related to the forum you mod.

pragmatic1

No. When it comes to money vs family, money is worth nothing to me. I'll cry like a baby when they're gone.

Mint Sauce

Me and mum might argue, and scream and shout at each other now and again, but has always been there for me, and always will.

So no, never have, never will.

Unregistered.

Needs poll.....

Odysseus

Candie wrote: »

Self selection bias if your occupation is related to the forum you mod.

I take your point of course, but we are hardly involved in a piece of academic research here:)

Odysseus

Odysseus wrote: »

I take your point of course, but we are hardly involved in a piece of academic research here:)

No, but given your arena I wouldn't be surprised by a high number vocalising that kind of sentiment, I'd probably be surprised if the opposite was true.

Czarcasm

bacon n eggs wrote: »

imagine having a parent abuse you mentally physically and emotionally from an age you can remember till the age of 16 when you get away... yeah love em to bits, upstanding members of the community

I don't have to imagine tbh, upstanding members of the community and all, my father died eight years ago and left a substantial sum in his will. I didn't take it, on principle- money would never make up for what they put me through from the age of four up until I too was able to get out at 16.

I can only ever remember thinking of escape, but never had I wished death on them, and even though we never saw eye to eye, I let go of the bitterness a long time ago. I wish he were alive, I still wish to this day we could have had a better relationship.

It's only in recent years I've tried to rebuild a relationship with my family and my mother, but at this stage she's batshìt crazy and pretends like she doesn't remember a thing. I asked her once, why? After that I didn't force the issue. The relationship is... "strained", to put it mildly, and frustrating at times, but would I wish her dead? No. Why would I? It wouldn't change anything that happened in the past.

bacon n eggs

It wouldn't change one thing, except end the farce that is.

ITS_A_BADGER

NO WAY!! my dad is my best friend!! he is hitting 71 in july and hes still as sharp and bright as he ever was! id take 20 years off my life and give them to him if i could!
My mother on the other hand is pain in the ass but i wouldnt want her dead either, but i would be less sad if she went, but i would still deffo miss her

SusieBlue

No, I adore my parents. I can't imagine life without them, they have given me the best of everything and I owe them so much. I wish they could be around forever, but I know they won't be, so I try to appreciate them while they're still here.

The only person I've ever heard say they wish one of their parents was dead IRL, was one of my friends. Her mother had developed pancreatic and bone cancer and alzeimhers in the space of 12 months. The cancer was terminal. She was suffering so much, so confused, in so much pain, it was heartbreaking for the family. I recall my friend saying more than once that she wished her mother would pass on sooner rather than later because she found watching her suffering with the diseases to be soul destroying, when there was nothing she could do to help.

The only way I'd ever wish one of my parents dead would be if I were in the same situation as my friend. I can't imagine watching them wasting away in huge amounts of pain.

Odysseus

Candie wrote: »

No, but given your arena I wouldn't be surprised by a high number vocalising that kind of sentiment, I'd probably be surprised if the opposite was true.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say my arena, would you explain please? Cheers.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Whoever was having that conversation you heard has never been through the loss of a parent, because if they had they'd realise that no amount of moneys going to make the pain go away.

Odysseus

Odysseus wrote: »

I'm not sure what you mean when you say my arena, would you explain please? Cheers.

I'm assuming your line of work is related to the forum you mod - psychology.

My logic would be that people seeking or needing help in that arena (or area if you prefer), would be somewhat more likely to have troubled upbringings, and following that logic would be more likely to vocalise a sentiment similar to that in the OP.

December2012

I lost my father in the past year. In the end, he was so sick, ready and wanting to die that my hope each time I left the hospice was just that he would get his release.

However, it's not the same as "wishing him dead" in the OPs sense.

I can understand wishing an abusive or negligent person dead, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who got great folks.

Wilberto

Simply just wanting another living thing dead is pathetic, let alone your folks.

I mean, I'm not exactly close to my own but that's just me. I'd still never even consider wanting them to go though. And tbh, I can barely even begin to understand the mentality of those in the original post.



Obviously there are extremely horrible and traumatic exceptions which mustn't be confused or lumped in with the people in the original post though!!

Odysseus

I don't know and I'm going off topic, however, I am wondering about those who have lost a parent and where adults when it happened.

In my case my dad died 6 years ago he died in the fanily home and for four months before that my 3 sibs and myslef provided 24/7 care for him. It was hard graff and tbh I'm not sure how much longer we could have keep it going, but the thing I'm trying to highlight is something about being involved in his care, for example he needed daily injections which I gave as the rest of my family where afarid to do. Even when he actually died I had a hold of his wrist and was feeling his pluse as his heart pumped for the last time.

Now it was a difficult time, but I am really glad I had the opportunity to experience it and to be involved in his care to that extent. Now to be far I do have some skills due to my work that allowed to do things that a lot of people could not. However, the point I am trying to make is something about some type of personal growth I got out of the experience.

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but did anyone else experience anything similar?

NegativeCreep

My dad hasn't got two cents to rub together and my man even less. They'll have nothing to leave me.

I'm hoping that they're lying and are secretly rich and just trolling me till they die :L

Odysseus

Candie wrote: »

I'm assuming your line of work is related to the forum you mod - psychology.

My logic would be that people seeking or needing help in that arena (or area if you prefer), would be somewhat more likely to have troubled upbringings, and following that logic would be more likely to vocalise a sentiment similar to that in the OP.

Cheers, I do a lot of work for the addiction services and I wasn't sure if that was what you where referring to, as I also do a lot of private work various patients.

Odysseus

Odysseus wrote: »

I don't know and I'm going off topic, however, I am wondering about those who have lost a parent and where adults when it happened.

In my case my dad died 6 years ago he died in the fanily home and for four months before that my 3 sibs and myslef provided 24/7 care for him. It was hard graff and tbh I'm not sure how much longer we could have keep it going, but the thing I'm trying to highlight is something about being involved in his care, for example he needed daily injections which I gave as the rest of my family where afarid to do. Even when he actually died I had a hold of his wrist and was feeling his pluse as his heart pumped for the last time.

Now it was a difficult time, but I am really glad I had the opportunity to experience it and to be involved in his care to that extent. Now to be far I do have some skills due to my work that allowed to do things that a lot of people could not. However, the point I am trying to make is something about some type of personal growth I got out of the experience.

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but did anyone else experience anything similar?

My own experience of someone close dying after a very long illness (>5 years), and being very involved in their physical care, is that it brings the reality of now into stark relief. I also felt that I gained greater depth as a person, because I had to call upon reserves of compassion and patience that I otherwise wouldn't have known existed or maybe wouldn't have had to cultivate.

I also think it made me a nicer person. I'm certainly more vocal about letting the people I care about know how I feel. There is nothing like witnessing death to put you in touch with your own mortality. It has definitely been a growth experience, albeit a very hard one.

Stained Class

Odysseus wrote: »

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but did anyone else experience anything similar?

Not really.

My own Mam passed a few weeks ago. She'd had a stroke & there was no hope really. The doctors told us early on.

They were amazed at how long she lasted though (16 days).

Twas a privilage to be down at the hospital to see her final days. Now & again she seemed semi-lucid & I used that time to tell her how proud I was of her & how much I loved her...

Czarcasm

Odysseus wrote: »

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but did anyone else experience anything similar?

It certainly makes sense to me personally anyway because while I believe palliative care is a good thing and allows a person to die with dignity, it was incredibly difficult for me to watch my brother who had suffered with cystic fibrosis for 19 years, he quite literally wasted away in the last two weeks of his life, this was about 15 years ago when heart and lung transplants were relatively new and there was no way he would have survived the operation.

Having to watch helplessly as friends have died of lung cancer and aids, it's one of the reasons why I'll always support a person's right to euthanasia.

To see people suffer for an inordinate length of time as they tried to stay alive, wanted to die, wanted the pain to stop, it's a horrible contradiction to want to ease their pain, but know the only way to stop it is to help them take their own life.