People who can't let go of other people's incidents in the past???

rox5

Does anyone here find that people still seem to gossip about a certain things you did in the past, even though you have changed youself?
I mean I ain't perfect, I did stuff during my teenage years that I really wish I can take back (due to depression and Asperger's syndrome), but I like to think at 20 years old that I am a different girl now. I just keep my head down, do my work, talk to my friends and also try to avoid the whole "shift and drift" when going out because that was something I was pretty bad for when I used to hang out with a bad influence of a friend.

But I just hate the fact that even though i have done nothing scandalous or stupid for more than a year now, people who know me from years ago still stare at me on nights out when I walk past or whisper about me or act like they don't want to know me.
I mean it's not fair, that all I want to do is go out, have a nice time with friends, and not to have someone say very loudly "Slut!" or "Weirdo!" when I walk past, even though I did not do anything, I just want to keep to myself.

I remember even talking to some classmates of mine who used to be a bit slutty but have boyfriends now, and they agree how it's not fair because they remember how they went a bit mad with the shifting and drifting at a disco when they were younger, about three years ago, and people were STILL talking about it. I did notice how they had lunch at a quieter part of the school, I've always wondered if it was to get away from the gossipers.

I just don't get why some people still want to hold on to certain incidents you have done in the past? I mean I know plenty of people who have done worse stuff than me, but I don't really care about it. As long as it does not affect me in anyway, I don't really care if some people have a ****ed-up past, as long as they knew they had to change in some way to make themselves better.

Then again, I do live in the countryside. I'd say people hold on to gossip because there is nothing else exciting to do. In a town it feels like you can do anything and people will forget in a few weeks time.

Anyway what do you thinK?

Cody Pomeray

rox5 wrote: »

they went a bit mad with the shifting and drifting at a disco

What's drifting?

Gran Hermano

This one time in band camp ...

aido179

rox5 wrote: »

i have done nothing scandalous or stupid for more than a year now

It ain't that easy. A year is nothing. Also, life owes you nothing, don't expect people to ever forget, you just have to replace it with good things you have done. Have you done anything to those people to make them talk about that instead of the stuff you did before?

rox5

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

What's drifting?

Just means french-kissing someone then moving on (drifting on) to the next person.

So basically...it means being a slut or man-whore.

kneemos

It's the rural mentality they don't have much to talk about,you're in you're late teens early twenties I'm guessing.

kiffer

A year isn't a long time and if people don't actually see new behaviour then they imagine that you are continuing on as they remember... because they are not psychic.
Also because they are boring gossiping idiots.

HondaSami

You could be imagining it OP. I think the opposite btw, people in towns gossip more than those in the country. imo

rox5

aido179 wrote: »

It ain't that easy. A year is nothing. Also, life owes you nothing, don't expect people to ever forget, you just have to replace it with good things you have done. Have you done anything to those people to make them talk about that instead of the stuff you did before?

Even a year is no good? Crap.

It's hard to know because I have basically just avoided certain places for a long time.

HondaSami

rox5 wrote: »

Just means french-kissing someone then moving on (drifting on) to the next person.

So basically...it means being a slut or man-whore.

It's only kissing ffs, what do ye kids call them if there is sex involved?

Ranicand

kneemos wrote: »

It's the rural mentality they don't have much to talk about,you're in you're late teens early twenties I'm guessing.

Like the OP I have Aspergers too.

rox5 wrote: »

but I like to think at 20 years old that I am a different girl now.

We think in a logical way like reading the post before you answer it.

Corvo

Do something unbelievably crazy or nuts to make them forget about the other things...

Also. A year aint much. In four or five years time they will have moved on/had kids/emigrated/died.

rox5

HondaSami wrote: »

It's only kissing ffs, what do ye kids call them if there is sex involved?

It either "The Ride" or a worse phrase that I dont use "Rape and Escape" (Though no actually rape is involved!!!)

I agree tbh, I hated the word "shift" coz it sounds vulgar or something to me, but I tend to use it out of bad habit.

schnitzelEater

rox5 wrote: »

Just means french-kissing someone then moving on (drifting on) to the next person.

So basically...it means being a slut or man-whore.

Calling yourself a slut is probably not helpful...

HondaSami

rox5 wrote: »

It either "The Ride" or a worse phrase that I dont use "Rape and Escape" (Though no actually rape is involved!!!)

I agree tbh, I hated the word "shift" coz it sounds vulgar or something to me, but I tend to use it out of bad habit.

First time i heard this, it made me giggle actually.

Shift is better than slut.

Sometimes people can think they are talked about but often it's not the case, it all blows over in a few weeks. Don't worry about it. We were all the center of attention/gossip at some point.

kiffer

HondaSami wrote: »

It's only kissing ffs, what do ye kids call them if there is sex involved?

Pump and dump?

HondaSami

kiffer wrote: »

Pump and dump?

ffs ye are making me feel old here, another new one for me.

Cody Pomeray

I can't believe people are still using "shifting".

That sounded out-dated in 2003.

rox5

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

I can't believe people are still using "shifting".

That sounded out-dated in 2003.

Well people say "meet" or "meeting" more i think, but shift is always used if u asked someone "Did you get the shift?" or "how many people did you shift?" :P

kneemos

Do girls talk about each someone when they're jealous of her?

rox5

kiffer wrote: »

Pump and dump?

Jesus that's a new one for me too!

Three Seasons

rox5 wrote: »

Well people say "meet" or "meeting" more i think, but shift is always used if u asked someone "Did you get the shift?" or "how many people did you shift?" :P

People said "meet" back in 1996.

anncoates

Ranicand wrote: »

Like the OP I have Aspergers too.

No way?

kiffer

HondaSami wrote: »

ffs ye are making me feel old here, another new one for me.

Maybe it was hump and dump...
Anyway I'm pretty sure that's probably a yank phrase I picked up on the interwebz...

Back in the 90s people definitely said shift, meet and score...

coffee_cake

http://i.eatliver.com/2012/8540.jpg

pragmatic1

Welcome to Ireland. Nothing is ever forgotten, even if it appears to be.

CollardGreens

Shifting and drifting at the hump and dump. Who's buying drinks?

rox5

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Welcome to Ireland. Nothing is ever forgotten, even if it appears to be.

Ha, that's definately true.

Corvo

CollardGreens wrote: »

Shifting and drifting at the hump and dump. Who's buying drinks?

Rox5.

Can I have a shift first? CollardGreens has mouth ulcers.

CollardGreens

Can I have a shift first? CollardGreens has mouth ulcers

What happens when you breath too much of that irish air, it spews mold and mildew and gives them names for the village people to raise the little nasty cruds that su*k face in lowly places.

Ranicand

henry_sellers wrote: »

i love irish people but we are incredibly nosey as a nation , especially in rural ireland

Yes I agree why can't people mind their own bloody business?:mad:

I mean the sheep enjoy it.:o