Do women treat married men differently?

Three Seasons

As a recently married man I'm curious if women are going to be treating me differently. I'm aware that women are are quick to notice if a man has a wedding ring or not.

So to the married men, have you noticed subtle differences in how women behave around you?

ElleEm

Three Seasons wrote: »

As a recently married man I'm curious if women are going to be treating me differently. I'm aware that women are are quick to notice if a man has a wedding ring or not.

So to the married men, have you noticed subtle differences in how women behave around you?

What do you mean when you say "treated differently"? I certainly don't treat married men differently, whether they are strangers or friends. I don't know what context you mean though. Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

Three Seasons

ElleEm wrote: »

What do you mean when you say "treated differently"? I certainly don't treat married men differently, whether they are strangers or friends. I don't know what context you mean though. Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

From what I've been told you'd be chatted up more with a wedding ring. I'm just interested in married men's experiences as to whether women behave differently around them now that they are married.

I want to know of women behave differently when interacting with a married men. Tone of voice, body language, friendliness, meanness, generosity, kindness, sarcasm, etc, anything you can think of that can possibly vary I'm interested in.

If women are more interested in discussing dinner recipes with married men or the origins of the universe I want to hear about it.

Dravokivich

Its a case of some women may prefer married men, who may be inclined to be more discrete. But that's not to say it, for all women. Some would be shocked at the thought of a married man talking with other women while unsupervised by their wives. Thankfully, most are not so quick to judge.

ElleEm wrote: »

What do you mean when you say "treated differently"? I certainly don't treat married men differently, whether they are strangers or friends. I don't know what context you mean though. Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

It sounds more like he's afraid he will. Whether it's succumbing to temptation or the possible arkwardness of saying "no," is another thing.

Three Seasons

Dravokivich wrote: »

Its a case of some women may prefer married men, who may be inclined to be more discrete. But that's not to say it, for all women. Some would be shocked at the thought of a married man talking with other women while unsupervised by their wives. Thankfully, most are not so quick to judge.



It sounds more like he's afraid he will. Whether it's succumbing to temptation or the possible arkwardness of saying "no," is another thing.

Whether women are more likely to chat me up isn't what I'm specifically interested in. I'm not afraid of women chatting me up or having to reject them. Simply curious if women treat you differently in any possible way, even if its that women are less likely to discuss the fermentation process or igneous rocks.

Dravokivich

Then you are missing the point of what I said.

"Some"

Most women won't take your ring into account at all, as it's not going to be relevant to what ever is going on.

Three Seasons

Dravokivich wrote: »

Then you are missing the point of what I said.

"Some"

Most women won't take your ring into account at all, as it's not going to be relevant to what ever is going on.

Why are they so quick to notice a married man's ring then?

kiffer

ElleEm wrote: »

Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

You can't get negative amounts of being chatted up... I think next night out I'll wear a fake wedding ring and see what happens...

Playboy

Yes... they will generally be more attracted to you.

Playboy

kiffer wrote: »

You can't get negative amounts of being chatted up... I think next night out I'll wear a fake wedding ring and see what happens...

You will be fighting them off... its a powerful aphrodisiac. Nearly as powerful as being a widowed single dad.

iptba

I read before that women are more attracted to men who other women find attractive. However, most women I imagine aren't interested in a trying to have a relationship with a married man.

Real Life

Three Seasons wrote: »

Why are they so quick to notice a married man's ring then?

They love jewelry

nicowa

Three Seasons wrote: »

From what I've been told you'd be chatted up more with a wedding ring. I'm just interested in married men's experiences as to whether women behave differently around them now that they are married.

I want to know of women behave differently when interacting with a married men. Tone of voice, body language, friendliness, meanness, generosity, kindness, sarcasm, etc, anything you can think of that can possibly vary I'm interested in.

If women are more interested in discussing dinner recipes with married men or the origins of the universe I want to hear about it.

Is it possible that this "chatting up" is a relaxation of the women - "oh he's taken now, I don't have to worry he'll think I'm into him in that way."

kiffer

nicowa wrote: »

Is it possible that this "chatting up" is a relaxation of the women - "oh he's taken now, I don't have to worry he'll think I'm into him in that way."

Not if the studies on the subject are to be believed... :-(

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

Three Seasons

bluewolf wrote: »

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

I'd guess you are in the minority from personal experience.

DubTony

I've been married since 1995 and was told at the time that the wedding ring would attract more women. I'm still waiting. Don't go getting your hopes up.

Pug160

It's unfair to generalise but a lot of women seem to like a man with a stamp of approval. Also, women notice little things more than men do, such as rings. Come back to us in a few months and tell us your own experience, as at least then none of the girls here will be able to call you a misogynistic idiot like they do some of us, just for pointing out a few truths we've discovered.

Pug160

DubTony wrote: »

I've been married since 1995 and was told at the time that the wedding ring would attract more women. I'm still waiting. Don't go getting your hopes up.

It all depends on the situation though. Did you attract many women before you met your wife? Since your marriage, have you been out a lot less? Lots of different factors. Also, you were expecting more attention, which almost certainly means you won't get it.

Reesy

Hmmm, like the poster above has said, there are many factors. For me, I'd say a minority of women seemed to act like I was more desirable when I was newly married - however, it's hard to be scientific, because I'd imagine that once I was married, I felt less interested in the single women around me. It doesn't mean i would have cheated before - I just felt more committed to the woman I (still) love, and maybe I gave off a different vibe.

dearg lady

Three Seasons wrote: »

Why are they so quick to notice a married man's ring then?

I rarely notice if a man's wearing a wedding ring. I don't even know which hand it should be worn on.

nicowa wrote: »

Is it possible that this "chatting up" is a relaxation of the women - "oh he's taken now, I don't have to worry he'll think I'm into him in that way."

I would agree with this. I often feel more comfortable with 'taken' men cos I can relax and be myself and not have to worry about them getting the wrong impression... for the most part

Three Seasons

dearg lady wrote: »

I rarely notice if a man's wearing a wedding ring. I don't even know which hand it should be worn on.



I would agree with this. I often feel more comfortable with 'taken' men cos I can relax and be myself and not have to worry about them getting the wrong impression... for the most part

Surely if a taken man can make you feel more relaxed you should look for a wedding ring. I find many women are more relaxed around taken men so it makes sense that women then do act differently around married men as I had suspected.

Playboy

I find women generally to be extremely competitive amongst each other verging on being misogyinistic. Whether its how skinny they are, what clothes or make up they are wearing, bags and jewelery, even with kids and the ultimate accessory.. a boyfriend or husband. I'm not sure at what level of conciousness this competitiveness is operating at because most women dont even seem to be aware of it. It's the main driving force behind this size zero lunacy at the moment... no man wants a woman and especially their partner to look like that. You just have to look at the type of women in lads mags and porn and compare them to the girls in fashion magazines to see where this look is coming from.

But in relation to this thread I do think there are many women that are attracted to men by virtue of the fact he is 'taken' by another woman. I find that if your partner or wife happens to be attractive and she has been seen by other women with you then this can increase the attractiveness of the man as women can see their success of getting the man to stray or even just getting his attention in a flirtation as somehow validating their own attractiveness in relation to the man's partner or by virtue of the fact the man was willing to engage in flirtation with her when he is taken (she is so desirable that he cant help himself). I think this becomes more apparent when people are in or are approaching their thirties and they have matured in their attitudes to relationships and lost some of their hollywood 'true love' idealism. Women I find are more virtuous the younger they are and the less experienced in relationships... they have yet to be disillusioned.

View has been formed based on experiences of men I have spoken to over the years and sitautions I have seen reoccur. No science or studies assisted in the making of these views!

dearg lady

Three Seasons wrote: »

Surely if a taken man can make you feel more relaxed you should look for a wedding ring. I find many women are more relaxed around taken men so it makes sense that women then do act differently around married men as I had suspected.

I'm just unobservant in general. I meant around men I know, so I already know if they are in a relationship or not. A man in a relationship doesn't make me feel more relaxed, i often feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship

April O Neill

bluewolf wrote: »

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

Me too, it wouldn't even cross my mind.

eviltwin

A few friends of mine have gotten married in the past few years and I can honestly say I haven't seen anyone treat their husbands differently. Maybe they only become magnets when I'm not around.

I suppose its to be expected there will be a cohort of women out there who are attacted to what they can't have but its a minority and a few words should sort them out. Unless you want that kind of attention of course.

I have seen it with men too. A friend of mine who I used to go drinking with in my younger years would always try and "score the hen" as he called it. It was a challenge to him to get off with a bride to be. He's 36 now and regulary trawls through dating sites to meet married women he can have sex with. He thinks they are less hassle than a single girl.

I can't understand it myself unless you are simply looking for a night of no strings fun with someone who is looking for the same thing.

Malari

bluewolf wrote: »

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

I'd nearly always notice. But I'd notice women's jewellery too, I'm just observant like that. It has no bearing on how I treat the man though.

I do check out other women's clothes and accessories all the time, but not in a competitive way, I just like to get inspired or see how they are pairing things.

Playboy

eviltwin wrote: »

A few friends of mine have gotten married in the past few years and I can honestly say I haven't seen anyone treat their husbands differently. Maybe they only become magnets when I'm not around.

I suppose its to be expected there will be a cohort of women out there who are attacted to what they can't have but its a minority and a few words should sort them out. Unless you want that kind of attention of course.

I have seen it with men too. A friend of mine who I used to go drinking with in my younger years would always try and "score the hen" as he called it. It was a challenge to him to get off with a bride to be. He's 36 now and regulary trawls through dating sites to meet married women he can have sex with. He thinks they are less hassle than a single girl.

I can't understand it myself unless you are simply looking for a night of no strings fun with someone who is looking for the same thing.

How does he find married women on dating sites? They hardly advertise they are married do they?

eviltwin

Playboy wrote: »

How does he find married women on dating sites? They hardly advertise they are married do they?

Actually some do, there are whole websites devoted to "attached dating".

Legs.Eleven

Playboy wrote: »

I find women generally to be extremely competitive amongst each other verging on being misogyinistic. Whether its how skinny they are, what clothes or make up they are wearing, bags and jewelery, even with kids and the ultimate accessory.. a boyfriend or husband. I'm not sure at what level of conciousness this competitiveness is operating at because most women dont even seem to be aware of it. It's the main driving force behind this size zero lunacy at the moment... no man wants a woman and especially their partner to look like that. You just have to look at the type of women in lads mags and porn and compare them to the girls in fashion magazines to see where this look is coming from.

Size zero? When is the last time you saw a size zero woman outside of Vogue magazine? I see you live in the UK...average size is 16 there. Where are you going with your "Size zero lunacy"?

Most women are not like you mentioned above. Some are but most are not.


I wouldn't notice a wedding band on a man's hand. An attractive man is an attractive man and if he happens to be married, well I'll still find him attractive but definitely not more so. I agree with other posters in that I feel a bit more comfortable around married guys. They give off a "safe" vibe (like gay men) because you know your conversation with them won't be misconstrued for anything else and obviously I react to that.

Playboy

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Size zero? When is the last time you saw a size zero woman outside of Vogue magazine? I see you live in the UK...average size is 16 there. Where are you going with your "Size zero lunacy"?

I guess you must have been living under a rock for the last few years if you havent noticed the issues around female eating disorders, yo yo dieting and the aspiration to reach a weight that is not only unhealthy but one that most men do not find attractive.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Most women are not like you mentioned above. Some are but most are not.

Most, some, half... no one really knows. Your experience is different to mine mostly because you are on the other side of the fence.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I wouldn't notice a wedding band on a man's hand. An attractive man is an attractive man and if he happens to be married, well I'll still find him attractive but definitely not more so. I agree with other posters in that I feel a bit more comfortable around married guys. They give off a "safe" vibe (like gay men) because you know your conversation with them won't be misconstrued for anything else and obviously I react to that.

Why wont your conversation be misconstrued? You are either flirting or you arent. I dont see why a man's relationship status should affect how your conversation is construed? Whether I was in a relationship or not it was always very easy to tell if someone was flirting or not... I dont see why being married should change that. Saying that you are more relaxed around married men because they dont misconstrue your conversation is perpetuating the myth that all single straight men want to do is have sex with every woman that meet.

kiffer

I think it's great that women are telling us "no it doesn't make a difference" because it reminds us that statistics are not people and just because many women find a man more attractive if they hear that he is attached then if they hear he is single doesn't mean that all women do.
Of course I doubt many women would come forward and say "Yeah, you know he's good stuff because someobe else has vetted him" though I have heard it a few times, usually followed by "but of course I'd never do anything because he's taken".

Three Seasons

dearg lady wrote: »

I'm just unobservant in general. I meant around men I know, so I already know if they are in a relationship or not. A man in a relationship doesn't make me feel more relaxed, i often feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship

Ok I view " a man ina relationship makes you more relaxed" = " I often feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship"

Bottom line you feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship so why not look for a ring. Then you can feel more relaxed.

Three Seasons

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Size zero? When is the last time you saw a size zero woman outside of Vogue magazine? I see you live in the UK...average size is 16 there. Where are you going with your "Size zero lunacy"?

Most women are not like you mentioned above. Some are but most are not.


I wouldn't notice a wedding band on a man's hand. An attractive man is an attractive man and if he happens to be married, well I'll still find him attractive but definitely not more so. I agree with other posters in that I feel a bit more comfortable around married guys. They give off a "safe" vibe (like gay men) because you know your conversation with them won't be misconstrued for anything else and obviously I react to that.

So bottom line my suspicions about women behaving differently around married men is correct in your case.

dearg lady

Three Seasons wrote: »

Ok I view " a man ina relationship makes you more relaxed" = " I often feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship"

Bottom line you feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship so why not look for a ring. Then you can feel more relaxed.

they are 2 quite different things.
As I said, it applies to people I already know. I don't know if it would make any difference to how I feel around a man I don't know. It likely would, but it's a mostly subconscious thing, so I don't look for a ring. i don't know why you keep harping on about it. Even it was a conscious thing, sometimes humans do funny things!

Three Seasons

dearg lady wrote: »

they are 2 quite different things.
As I said, it applies to people I already know. I don't know if it would make any difference to how I feel around a man I don't know. It likely would, but it's a mostly subconscious thing, so I don't look for a ring. i don't know why you keep harping on about it. Even it was a conscious thing, sometimes humans do funny things!

I don't think it's a funny thing to do. If men in relationships make you feel more relaxed or allow you to feel more relaxed then enjoy being relaxed.

Pug160

Playboy wrote: »

How does he find married women on dating sites? They hardly advertise they are married do they?

They're probably 'adult' sites rather than conventional dating sites. From my own personal experience, most of the women on those sites are indeed married. It's seems terribly unfair that having no strings sex with a single woman seems quite hard to find, yet there are so many married women offering it. I'd personally never go there - but that's another story.

jaffacakesyum

Playboy wrote: »

I guess you must have been living under a rock for the last few years if you havent noticed the issues around female eating disorders, yo yo dieting and the aspiration to reach a weight that is not only unhealthy but one that most men do not find attractive.

Definitely, female (and male) eating disorders are a significant problem, but:

Most, some, half... no one really knows. Your experience is different to mine mostly because you are on the other side of the fence.

If you honestly think anywhere near half of women are size zero or unhealthily underweight you are seriously deluded. Obesity is a huge problem in developed countries. The incidence of obesity heavily outweighs the incidence of anorexia.

Why wont your conversation be misconstrued? You are either flirting or you arent. I dont see why a man's relationship status should affect how your conversation is construed? Whether I was in a relationship or not it was always very easy to tell if someone was flirting or not... I dont see why being married should change that. Saying that you are more relaxed around married men because they dont misconstrue your conversation is perpetuating the myth that all single straight men want to do is have sex with every woman that meet.

It doesn't matter if you're not flirting, if you are friendly and chat with men, it can be construed as leading them on, if you don't talk to them you are a b1tch. You can't win. I certainly don't think all men I speak to in day to day life are chatting me up or only want sex because I'm a woman and they're a man, they must want to have sex with me. That's not it at all and in general day to day interactions with men I don't care if they're single or not and I rarely get chatted up anyway. But in a pub/club setting if I knew a guy was taken, or he mentioned his girlfriend, I'd be much more relaxed at chatting with him than if I knew/suspected he was single.


Anyway, I guess that's all a little off topic. More on topic, I wouldn't notice a wedding ring on a man but I guess I'm more in the younger age group. Don't see why any women would be more attracted to married men. In my opinion I think it's another lazy stereotype like "women love bad boys" etc. It's hard to be objective about these things. Even if there is a correlation in one specific case, doesn't mean there is a causation.

The Corinthian

Pug160 wrote: »

They're probably 'adult' sites rather than conventional dating sites.

I would hope that all dating sites are 'adult', TBH.

As to the titular question, I don't think so. There certainly is a "he has a woman, ergo he is now more attractive" thing going on in women, in my experience, but to suggest that this is so powerful as to affect female behaviour outside of a small minority would be like saying that 'gentlemen prefer blonds' dictates that we'll always go for a blond over a brunette.

Now wear a wedding ring and after chatting with a woman for a while tell them you lost your wife in a tragic [INSERT CAUSE] two years ago, and that's another story.

eviltwin

Maybe some of the posters here are reading too much into things? Perhaps they see flirting when all the woman is trying to do is be nice, friendly etc? Unless there is a direct come on, how can anyone be sure of another's intentions?

Legs.Eleven

Playboy wrote: »

Why wont your conversation be misconstrued? You are either flirting or you arent. I dont see why a man's relationship status should affect how your conversation is construed? Whether I was in a relationship or not it was always very easy to tell if someone was flirting or not... I dont see why being married should change that. Saying that you are more relaxed around married men because they dont misconstrue your conversation is perpetuating the myth that all single straight men want to do is have sex with every woman that meet.

Yes. That's exactly what I was saying.

Good god.

I was giving my opinion on how I feel. Not ALL women.

Three Seasons

eviltwin wrote: »

Maybe some of the posters here are reading too much into things? Perhaps they see flirting when all the woman is trying to do is be nice, friendly etc? Unless there is a direct come on, how can anyone be sure of another's intentions?

It appears to be obvious that many women feel more relaxed when a man is in a relationship, so women do in fact behave differently if a man is married. If you feel more relaxed you behave differently.

Pug160

Three Seasons wrote: »

It appears to be obvious that many women feel more relaxed when a man is in a relationship, so women do in fact behave differently if a man is married. If you feel more relaxed you behave differently.

It's reading stuff like that from women that makes me wish I didn't have a sex drive sometimes. It's also the reason some guys don't bother even trying to talk to women when they're out.

Legs.Eleven

Pug160 wrote: »

It's reading stuff like that from women that makes me wish I didn't have a sex drive sometimes. It's also the reason some guys don't bother even trying to talk to women when they're out.

From A singular woman.


You're looking to be offended and it's really bizarre. Thank god it's only (as you say) some guys.

Playboy

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Definitely, female (and male) eating disorders are a significant problem, but:



If you honestly think anywhere near half of women are size zero or unhealthily underweight you are seriously deluded. Obesity is a huge problem in developed countries. The incidence of obesity heavily outweighs the incidence of anorexia.

I think you got a little confused... the second comment you quoted from me wasn't in relation to eating disorders or size zero so thankfully I'm not as deluded as you thought I was.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

It doesn't matter if you're not flirting, if you are friendly and chat with men, it can be construed as leading them on, if you don't talk to them you are a b1tch. You can't win. I certainly don't think all men I speak to in day to day life are chatting me up or only want sex because I'm a woman and they're a man, they must want to have sex with me. That's not it at all and in general day to day interactions with men I don't care if they're single or not and I rarely get chatted up anyway. But in a pub/club setting if I knew a guy was taken, or he mentioned his girlfriend, I'd be much more relaxed at chatting with him than if I knew/suspected he was single.

I honestly don't know where this attitude comes from. I think the vast majority of men don't think a woman is coming on to them just because she talks to him. It's quite easy to talk and not be flirtatious. Maybe this approach to talking to me men says more about women than men. Maybe women are afraid of upsetting the guys partner rather than leading him on. In my experience women are pretty sensitive when it comes to other woman talking to their partner especially if she is pretty and regardless of whether she is obviously flirting.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Anyway, I guess that's all a little off topic. More on topic, I wouldn't notice a wedding ring on a man but I guess I'm more in the younger age group. Don't see why any women would be more attracted to married men. In my opinion I think it's another lazy stereotype like "women love bad boys" etc. It's hard to be objective about these things. Even if there is a correlation in one specific case, doesn't mean there is a causation.

I dont think it's a lazy stereotype.. it definitely doesn't apply to all women but it does to as significant portion of women as does the bad boy attraction. I have known many ladies who openly admit to liking to bad boys... admittedly I know less who openly say they are attracted to attached guys but I dont think that guys are just making this stuff up.

jaffacakesyum

Playboy wrote: »

I honestly don't know where this attitude comes from. I think the vast majority of men don't think a woman is coming on to them just because she talks to him. It's quite easy to talk and not be flirtatious. Maybe this approach to talking to me men says more about women than men. Maybe women are afraid of upsetting the guys partner rather than leading him on. In my experience women are pretty sensitive when it comes to other woman talking to their partner especially if she is pretty and regardless of whether she is obviously flirting.

It comes from years of chatting to men in bars (not flirting) and them losing interest straight away or getting p1ssed off when they realise I'm not into them that way. I don't see how this situation says more about women than men, but please enlighten me. Also have never felt cautious about upsetting a man's partner but maybe it's just because I'm oblivious, after all I'm just chatting, having a laugh, not flirting.

I dont think it's a lazy stereotype.. it definitely doesn't apply to all women but it does to as significant portion of women as does the bad boy attraction. I have known many ladies who openly admit to liking to bad boys... admittedly I know less who openly say they are attracted to attached guys but I dont think that guys are just making this stuff up.

What would you categorise as a lazy stereotype? How about this one "Men only chat to girls in bars cos they're interested in getting a leg over". I know many men who admit this, therefore it's not a lazy stereotype? That's the logic you're using with the "women like bad boys" and "women like married men" points and I'm not buying it. I'm not saying there aren't women out there who find bad boys and married men more attractive. There most certainly are. I'm not saying there aren't men who only go out talking to women looking for sex. There most certainly are those men. But to say a "significant portion of women" find married men or bad boys more attractive is lazy and based on a small sample of people.

In my humble opinion of course

Playboy

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

It comes from years of chatting to men in bars (not flirting) and them losing interest straight away or getting p1ssed off when they realise I'm not into them that way. I don't see how this situation says more about women than men, but please enlighten me. Also have never felt cautious about upsetting a man's partner but maybe it's just because I'm oblivious, after all I'm just chatting, having a laugh, not flirting.

I didn't realise that the location was restricted to Bars? In a bar or a nightclub if a woman approaches a stranger to chat and then complains if he thinks she is interested ... Well I don't what to say tbh. I think in that context it's quite obvious why a man would get the wrong idea.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

What would you categorise as a lazy stereotype? How about this one "Men only chat to girls in bars cos they're interested in getting a leg over". I know many men who admit this, therefore it's not a lazy stereotype? That's the logic you're using with the "women like bad boys" and "women like married men" points and I'm not buying it. I'm not saying there aren't women out there who find bad boys and married men more attractive. There most certainly are. I'm not saying there aren't men who only go out talking to women looking for sex. There most certainly are those men. But to say a "significant portion of women" find married men or bad boys more attractive is lazy and based on a small sample of people.

In my humble opinion of course

No one here is saying all women do anything but some women do like bad boys and some like attached men. The stereotypes are culturally pervasive enough that plenty of men and woman can confirm reoccurring encounters with people who conform to the stereotypes. For me that would indicate a significant portion of woman do in fact feel like this... What percentage is significant is debatable but it certainly doesn't mean all or most. I don't see how the stereotype is lazy if it is in fact true in some cases and nobody is generalising to all women?

iptba

iptba wrote: »

I read before that women are more attracted to men who other women find attractive. However, most women I imagine aren't interested in a trying to have a relationship with a married man.

Sample reference:

Women Are More Attracted to a Man If Other Women Like Him Too

Males, on the contrary, are not

http://news.softpedia.com/newsPDF/Women-Are-More-Attracted-to-a-Man-if-Other-Women-Like-Him-Too-44640.pdf
or
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Women-Are-More-Attracted-to-a-Man-if-Other-Women-Like-Him-Too-44640.shtml

jaffacakesyum

Playboy wrote: »

I didn't realise that the location was restricted to Bars? In a bar or a nightclub if a woman approaches a stranger to chat and then complains if he thinks she is interested ... Well I don't what to say tbh. I think in that context it's quite obvious why a man would get the wrong idea.

I'm just speaking from personal experience with the bar/club setting. I've already said in this thread that personally in the bar/club setting if I get chatting to a guy I'm not interested in sexually, I'm more comfortable if I know they're taken. In other setting such as I dunno the supermarket or something it's unlikely to matter whether someone's single or not, the conversation is probably limited. If we're talking at the bus stop and a man gets chatting to me, it depends on the nature of it, but yes sometimes in that setting I would also be more comfortable if he dropped in the conversation that he had a girlfriend. I'd be able to relax and not have to worry about "leading him on" (and once again, by "leading him on" I mean just being friendly, not flirty. I'm sure it seems ridiculous to you that I'd have to worry about leading someone on without being flirtatious in the slightest, but you'll just have to trust me on this one).

Also, I apologise, as I dropped into this conversation, but I didn't realise you were talking about women approaching men? What do you mean by this? If I specifically walk up to a guy in a bar and say "hey how are you?" than yeah, that's approaching him. But if I bump into him in a busy pub, or we're waiting to get served at the bar, that's not approaching. That's just general conversation. And those are the times when I'm happy to chat away to anyone, male or female, but with men you do have to worry about being seen as a "prick tease" :rolleyes: when all you're doing is being friendly.

No one here is saying all women do anything but some women do like bad boys and some like attached men. The stereotypes are culturally pervasive enough that plenty of men and woman can confirm reoccurring encounters with people who conform to the stereotypes. For me that would indicate a significant portion of woman do in fact feel like this... What percentage is significant is debatable but it certainly doesn't mean all or most. I don't see how the stereotype is lazy if it is in fact true in some cases and nobody is generalising to all women?

I know you're not saying all women do anything, but you're saying a significant amount do. I disagree. Same way I see "All men think through their d1cks" as a lazy stereotype. Some men do, some don't. That's as simple as it gets for me really, but if you disagree than I'm not going to change your mind.

shoos

Have to back up jaffacakesyum on the catch 22 that sometimes goes on in pubs and clubs.

Most of the time if I get talking to someone in a bar, they ask for my number or conversation takes an uncomfortable flirty turn, I tell them nicely that I actually have a boyfriend and they'll react grand with a "that's no problem, hope you have a good night". Fine.

But sometimes, they'll react with some aggression and anger because in their eyes just from talking to them, I've apparently led them on. And just like jaffacakesyum mentioned, I'm not flirting with them, I can't flirt anyway for my life, just having a nice normal conversation.

I noticed this immediately when I first started going out at 18 and I remember my friends and I having conversations about it at the end of the night because we'd all have experienced it. After it happened a couple of times, I put my guard up. If a guy started talking to me at a bar I'd reply politely but try get back to my friends, to which you'd sometimes get a "Jesus Christ, I was only trying to talk to ya", "stuck up bitch" etc. etc. Can't win.

That's why when a guy mentions he has a girlfriend you can just relax. There's none of this "crap, if I talk to him he might get the wrong impression and think I'm leading him on, but if I don't talk to him he's going to think I'm completely up myself thinking all guys want me". The girlfriend/wife introduction gets rid of all of that. You can just relax and have a conversation with no worries.

Three Seasons

shoos wrote: »

Have to back up jaffacakesyum on the catch 22 that sometimes goes on in pubs and clubs.

Most of the time if I get talking to someone in a bar, they ask for my number or conversation takes an uncomfortable flirty turn, I tell them nicely that I actually have a boyfriend and they'll react grand with a "that's no problem, hope you have a good night". Fine.

But sometimes, they'll react with some aggression and anger because in their eyes just from talking to them, I've apparently led them on. And just like jaffacakesyum mentioned, I'm not flirting with them, I can't flirt anyway for my life, just having a nice normal conversation.

I noticed this immediately when I first started going out at 18 and I remember my friends and I having conversations about it at the end of the night because we'd all have experienced it. After it happened a couple of times, I put my guard up. If a guy started talking to me at a bar I'd reply politely but try get back to my friends, to which you'd sometimes get a "Jesus Christ, I was only trying to talk to ya", "stuck up bitch" etc. etc. Can't win.

That's why when a guy mentions he has a girlfriend you can just relax. There's none of this "crap, if I talk to him he might get the wrong impression and think I'm leading him on, but if I don't talk to him he's going to think I'm completely up myself thinking all guys want me". The girlfriend/wife introduction gets rid of all of that. You can just relax and have a conversation with no worries.

You make a very good point shops, all men should read this.