Do women treat married men differently?

Three Seasons

As a recently married man I'm curious if women are going to be treating me differently. I'm aware that women are are quick to notice if a man has a wedding ring or not.

So to the married men, have you noticed subtle differences in how women behave around you?

ElleEm

Three Seasons wrote: »

As a recently married man I'm curious if women are going to be treating me differently. I'm aware that women are are quick to notice if a man has a wedding ring or not.

So to the married men, have you noticed subtle differences in how women behave around you?

What do you mean when you say "treated differently"? I certainly don't treat married men differently, whether they are strangers or friends. I don't know what context you mean though. Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

Three Seasons

ElleEm wrote: »

What do you mean when you say "treated differently"? I certainly don't treat married men differently, whether they are strangers or friends. I don't know what context you mean though. Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

From what I've been told you'd be chatted up more with a wedding ring. I'm just interested in married men's experiences as to whether women behave differently around them now that they are married.

I want to know of women behave differently when interacting with a married men. Tone of voice, body language, friendliness, meanness, generosity, kindness, sarcasm, etc, anything you can think of that can possibly vary I'm interested in.

If women are more interested in discussing dinner recipes with married men or the origins of the universe I want to hear about it.

Dravokivich

Its a case of some women may prefer married men, who may be inclined to be more discrete. But that's not to say it, for all women. Some would be shocked at the thought of a married man talking with other women while unsupervised by their wives. Thankfully, most are not so quick to judge.

ElleEm wrote: »

What do you mean when you say "treated differently"? I certainly don't treat married men differently, whether they are strangers or friends. I don't know what context you mean though. Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

It sounds more like he's afraid he will. Whether it's succumbing to temptation or the possible arkwardness of saying "no," is another thing.

Three Seasons

Dravokivich wrote: »

Its a case of some women may prefer married men, who may be inclined to be more discrete. But that's not to say it, for all women. Some would be shocked at the thought of a married man talking with other women while unsupervised by their wives. Thankfully, most are not so quick to judge.



It sounds more like he's afraid he will. Whether it's succumbing to temptation or the possible arkwardness of saying "no," is another thing.

Whether women are more likely to chat me up isn't what I'm specifically interested in. I'm not afraid of women chatting me up or having to reject them. Simply curious if women treat you differently in any possible way, even if its that women are less likely to discuss the fermentation process or igneous rocks.

Dravokivich

Then you are missing the point of what I said.

"Some"

Most women won't take your ring into account at all, as it's not going to be relevant to what ever is going on.

Three Seasons

Dravokivich wrote: »

Then you are missing the point of what I said.

"Some"

Most women won't take your ring into account at all, as it's not going to be relevant to what ever is going on.

Why are they so quick to notice a married man's ring then?

kiffer

ElleEm wrote: »

Are you afraid you won't get chatted up?

You can't get negative amounts of being chatted up... I think next night out I'll wear a fake wedding ring and see what happens...

Playboy

Yes... they will generally be more attracted to you.

Playboy

kiffer wrote: »

You can't get negative amounts of being chatted up... I think next night out I'll wear a fake wedding ring and see what happens...

You will be fighting them off... its a powerful aphrodisiac. Nearly as powerful as being a widowed single dad.

iptba

I read before that women are more attracted to men who other women find attractive. However, most women I imagine aren't interested in a trying to have a relationship with a married man.

Real Life

Three Seasons wrote: »

Why are they so quick to notice a married man's ring then?

They love jewelry

nicowa

Three Seasons wrote: »

From what I've been told you'd be chatted up more with a wedding ring. I'm just interested in married men's experiences as to whether women behave differently around them now that they are married.

I want to know of women behave differently when interacting with a married men. Tone of voice, body language, friendliness, meanness, generosity, kindness, sarcasm, etc, anything you can think of that can possibly vary I'm interested in.

If women are more interested in discussing dinner recipes with married men or the origins of the universe I want to hear about it.

Is it possible that this "chatting up" is a relaxation of the women - "oh he's taken now, I don't have to worry he'll think I'm into him in that way."

kiffer

nicowa wrote: »

Is it possible that this "chatting up" is a relaxation of the women - "oh he's taken now, I don't have to worry he'll think I'm into him in that way."

Not if the studies on the subject are to be believed... :-(

coffee_cake

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

Three Seasons

bluewolf wrote: »

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

I'd guess you are in the minority from personal experience.

DubTony

I've been married since 1995 and was told at the time that the wedding ring would attract more women. I'm still waiting. Don't go getting your hopes up.

Pug160

It's unfair to generalise but a lot of women seem to like a man with a stamp of approval. Also, women notice little things more than men do, such as rings. Come back to us in a few months and tell us your own experience, as at least then none of the girls here will be able to call you a misogynistic idiot like they do some of us, just for pointing out a few truths we've discovered.

Pug160

DubTony wrote: »

I've been married since 1995 and was told at the time that the wedding ring would attract more women. I'm still waiting. Don't go getting your hopes up.

It all depends on the situation though. Did you attract many women before you met your wife? Since your marriage, have you been out a lot less? Lots of different factors. Also, you were expecting more attention, which almost certainly means you won't get it.

Reesy

Hmmm, like the poster above has said, there are many factors. For me, I'd say a minority of women seemed to act like I was more desirable when I was newly married - however, it's hard to be scientific, because I'd imagine that once I was married, I felt less interested in the single women around me. It doesn't mean i would have cheated before - I just felt more committed to the woman I (still) love, and maybe I gave off a different vibe.

dearg lady

Three Seasons wrote: »

Why are they so quick to notice a married man's ring then?

I rarely notice if a man's wearing a wedding ring. I don't even know which hand it should be worn on.

nicowa wrote: »

Is it possible that this "chatting up" is a relaxation of the women - "oh he's taken now, I don't have to worry he'll think I'm into him in that way."

I would agree with this. I often feel more comfortable with 'taken' men cos I can relax and be myself and not have to worry about them getting the wrong impression... for the most part

Three Seasons

dearg lady wrote: »

I rarely notice if a man's wearing a wedding ring. I don't even know which hand it should be worn on.



I would agree with this. I often feel more comfortable with 'taken' men cos I can relax and be myself and not have to worry about them getting the wrong impression... for the most part

Surely if a taken man can make you feel more relaxed you should look for a wedding ring. I find many women are more relaxed around taken men so it makes sense that women then do act differently around married men as I had suspected.

Playboy

I find women generally to be extremely competitive amongst each other verging on being misogyinistic. Whether its how skinny they are, what clothes or make up they are wearing, bags and jewelery, even with kids and the ultimate accessory.. a boyfriend or husband. I'm not sure at what level of conciousness this competitiveness is operating at because most women dont even seem to be aware of it. It's the main driving force behind this size zero lunacy at the moment... no man wants a woman and especially their partner to look like that. You just have to look at the type of women in lads mags and porn and compare them to the girls in fashion magazines to see where this look is coming from.

But in relation to this thread I do think there are many women that are attracted to men by virtue of the fact he is 'taken' by another woman. I find that if your partner or wife happens to be attractive and she has been seen by other women with you then this can increase the attractiveness of the man as women can see their success of getting the man to stray or even just getting his attention in a flirtation as somehow validating their own attractiveness in relation to the man's partner or by virtue of the fact the man was willing to engage in flirtation with her when he is taken (she is so desirable that he cant help himself). I think this becomes more apparent when people are in or are approaching their thirties and they have matured in their attitudes to relationships and lost some of their hollywood 'true love' idealism. Women I find are more virtuous the younger they are and the less experienced in relationships... they have yet to be disillusioned.

View has been formed based on experiences of men I have spoken to over the years and sitautions I have seen reoccur. No science or studies assisted in the making of these views!

dearg lady

Three Seasons wrote: »

Surely if a taken man can make you feel more relaxed you should look for a wedding ring. I find many women are more relaxed around taken men so it makes sense that women then do act differently around married men as I had suspected.

I'm just unobservant in general. I meant around men I know, so I already know if they are in a relationship or not. A man in a relationship doesn't make me feel more relaxed, i often feel more relaxed around a man in a relationship

April O Neill

bluewolf wrote: »

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

Me too, it wouldn't even cross my mind.

eviltwin

A few friends of mine have gotten married in the past few years and I can honestly say I haven't seen anyone treat their husbands differently. Maybe they only become magnets when I'm not around.

I suppose its to be expected there will be a cohort of women out there who are attacted to what they can't have but its a minority and a few words should sort them out. Unless you want that kind of attention of course.

I have seen it with men too. A friend of mine who I used to go drinking with in my younger years would always try and "score the hen" as he called it. It was a challenge to him to get off with a bride to be. He's 36 now and regulary trawls through dating sites to meet married women he can have sex with. He thinks they are less hassle than a single girl.

I can't understand it myself unless you are simply looking for a night of no strings fun with someone who is looking for the same thing.

Malari

bluewolf wrote: »

I never see if they have a ring on or not, I never look
I always get a surprise if someone mentions that someone else is wearing one or not

I'd nearly always notice. But I'd notice women's jewellery too, I'm just observant like that. It has no bearing on how I treat the man though.

I do check out other women's clothes and accessories all the time, but not in a competitive way, I just like to get inspired or see how they are pairing things.

Playboy

eviltwin wrote: »

A few friends of mine have gotten married in the past few years and I can honestly say I haven't seen anyone treat their husbands differently. Maybe they only become magnets when I'm not around.

I suppose its to be expected there will be a cohort of women out there who are attacted to what they can't have but its a minority and a few words should sort them out. Unless you want that kind of attention of course.

I have seen it with men too. A friend of mine who I used to go drinking with in my younger years would always try and "score the hen" as he called it. It was a challenge to him to get off with a bride to be. He's 36 now and regulary trawls through dating sites to meet married women he can have sex with. He thinks they are less hassle than a single girl.

I can't understand it myself unless you are simply looking for a night of no strings fun with someone who is looking for the same thing.

How does he find married women on dating sites? They hardly advertise they are married do they?

eviltwin

Playboy wrote: »

How does he find married women on dating sites? They hardly advertise they are married do they?

Actually some do, there are whole websites devoted to "attached dating".

Legs.Eleven

Playboy wrote: »

I find women generally to be extremely competitive amongst each other verging on being misogyinistic. Whether its how skinny they are, what clothes or make up they are wearing, bags and jewelery, even with kids and the ultimate accessory.. a boyfriend or husband. I'm not sure at what level of conciousness this competitiveness is operating at because most women dont even seem to be aware of it. It's the main driving force behind this size zero lunacy at the moment... no man wants a woman and especially their partner to look like that. You just have to look at the type of women in lads mags and porn and compare them to the girls in fashion magazines to see where this look is coming from.

Size zero? When is the last time you saw a size zero woman outside of Vogue magazine? I see you live in the UK...average size is 16 there. Where are you going with your "Size zero lunacy"?

Most women are not like you mentioned above. Some are but most are not.


I wouldn't notice a wedding band on a man's hand. An attractive man is an attractive man and if he happens to be married, well I'll still find him attractive but definitely not more so. I agree with other posters in that I feel a bit more comfortable around married guys. They give off a "safe" vibe (like gay men) because you know your conversation with them won't be misconstrued for anything else and obviously I react to that.

Playboy

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Size zero? When is the last time you saw a size zero woman outside of Vogue magazine? I see you live in the UK...average size is 16 there. Where are you going with your "Size zero lunacy"?

I guess you must have been living under a rock for the last few years if you havent noticed the issues around female eating disorders, yo yo dieting and the aspiration to reach a weight that is not only unhealthy but one that most men do not find attractive.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Most women are not like you mentioned above. Some are but most are not.

Most, some, half... no one really knows. Your experience is different to mine mostly because you are on the other side of the fence.

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

I wouldn't notice a wedding band on a man's hand. An attractive man is an attractive man and if he happens to be married, well I'll still find him attractive but definitely not more so. I agree with other posters in that I feel a bit more comfortable around married guys. They give off a "safe" vibe (like gay men) because you know your conversation with them won't be misconstrued for anything else and obviously I react to that.

Why wont your conversation be misconstrued? You are either flirting or you arent. I dont see why a man's relationship status should affect how your conversation is construed? Whether I was in a relationship or not it was always very easy to tell if someone was flirting or not... I dont see why being married should change that. Saying that you are more relaxed around married men because they dont misconstrue your conversation is perpetuating the myth that all single straight men want to do is have sex with every woman that meet.