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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.
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There are LOADS of young people in AA these days. One group I go to has a large group of them in fact, maybe you just need to hit a few more meetings as each has its own 'flavor'. A girl I am working with currently is 28 and she is not the youngest by far, one girl in our group just turned 18!
Bottom line is that alcoholism doesn't care about our age. I've known young people who've gone to jail for serious offenses involving drink, as well as attending funerals of those who went back out and didn't make it back. I am dead serious by the way, this is not for dramatic effect, this thing is fatal if left untreated.
If I'd truly grasped the enormity of what it means to be alcoholic when I first came round AA, like the fact that I can never ever take even one drink and think my life will turn out well, I would of saved myself and everyone around me years of grief (and money, lol). Truth is anyone, any age, who makes it to a recovered state of permanent sobriety has just about won the lottery in the alkie world
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Amazingfun wrote: »There are LOADS of young people in AA these days. One group I go to has a large group of them in fact, maybe you just need to hit a few more meetings as each has its own 'flavor'. A girl I am working with currently is 28 and she is not the youngest by far, one girl in our group just turned 18!
Bottom line is that alcoholism doesn't care about our age. I've known young people who've gone to jail for serious offenses involving drink, as well as attending funerals of those who went back out and didn't make it back. I am dead serious by the way, this is not for dramatic effect, this thing is fatal if left untreated.
If I'd truly grasped the enormity of what it means to be alcoholic when I first came round AA, like the fact that I can never ever take even one drink and think my life will turn out well, I would of saved myself and everyone around me years of grief (and money, lol). Truth is anyone, any age, who makes it to a recovered state of permanent sobriety has just about won the lottery in the alkie world
Every time I relapse it hits home more that I have a big problem. The last time was scary and I swore to myself that has to be the end of it. And having people like yourself be there throughout the journey I have to say thank you because the advice here is unbelievable. I might not listen the first time, or second or third or fourth ...but eventually stuff rings through in my head.0 -
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It's not about fault in my experience. It's about refusing to accept the drinking is over.
As I have shared many times, AA's theory on Alcoholism explains how my drinking was to a *T*: I took the drink, the drink took me (physical allergy), and when I wasn't on the drink, eventually my mind would conjure up some scenario or what I imagined as a plausible excuse (good or bad) that made it permissible for me to keep tossing booze down my throat. Today I see and accept that given what happens when I drink, there is nothing on earth that could ever justify me drinking again. I've accepted it. And that took a lot of time and terrible pain and humiliation, something of course I'd love to see others avoid, but it's just the nature of the beast that many alkies need to pretty badly mangled before accepting they cannot ever safely take a drink again.
If you don't think you have to stop, or that you can somehow control and enjoy your drinking again, then why not just keep at it? Unfortunately AA is for people that actually want to get and stay sober, not for those who want to drink less
I wish there was a magic wand we could wave and remove your obsession with it, but we can't. It's always an inside job, regardless if one is in AA or not. All you can do is review what happened when you drank this time, and see if you can see where your mind told you, (yet again, after all you've been through) that it was a good idea to drink.0 -
Amazingfun wrote: »It's not about fault in my experience. It's about refusing to accept the drinking is over.
As I have shared many times, AA's theory on Alcoholism explains how my drinking was to a *T*: I took the drink, the drink took me (physical allergy), and when I wasn't on the drink, eventually my mind would conjure up some scenario or what I imagined as a plausible excuse (good or bad) that made it permissible for me to keep tossing booze down my throat. Today I see and accept that given what happens when I drink, there is nothing on earth that could ever justify me drinking again. I've accepted it. And that took a lot of time and terrible pain and humiliation, something of course I'd love to see others avoid, but it's just the nature of the beast that many alkies need to pretty badly mangled before accepting they cannot ever safely take a drink again.
If you don't think you have to stop, or that you can somehow control and enjoy your drinking again, then why not just keep at it? Unfortunately AA is for people that actually want to get and stay sober, not for those who want to drink less
I wish there was a magic wand we could wave and remove your obsession with it, but we can't. It's always an inside job, regardless if one is in AA or not. All you can do is review what happened when you drank this time, and see if you can see where your mind told you, (yet again, after all you've been through) that it was a good idea to drink.
Sure I know I have to stop.
It's very hard. Went on double date during week and gf thinks it weird I can't have few drinks but I say I'm not having any. Few fights later I decide to have a few. I don't know who to blame more.0 -
You don't seem to get it.
You drank. You put the booze into your mouth. Your girlfriend didn't and it to "blame" for nothing. You've been around AA and on here long enough to know no one else can ever really "make" us drink right?
However, you might find some clues in the line "I decided to have a few"
Anyhow: good luck with it.
For me today, years away from it, I'd am so grateful to be free of this kind of madness because I never won any fight I got into with alcohol.0 -
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Amazingfun wrote: »You don't seem to get it.
You drank. You put the booze into your mouth. Your girlfriend didn't and it to "blame" for nothing. You've been around AA and on here long enough to know no one else can ever really "make" us drink right?
However, you might find some clues in the line "I decided to have a few"
Anyhow: good luck with it.
For me today, years away from it, I'd am so grateful to be free of this kind of madness because I never won any fight I got into with alcohol.
It tough to get people behind you. I know it was me who put first drink but people around you have a big influence.0 -
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Was I prepared to go to any lengths to get it ? That is always the question and in my case I was . I ditched family and friends that didn't buy in , I never associated with my drinking 'buddies' again. I ruthlessly stopped going to pubs, I haunted meetings and hitched on dark country roads to get to them.
I endured the crushing loneliness ,self-revulsion, and despair just because I believed it would get better and in time it did . And I have been gifted a sober life of well over three decades , all because I accepted there are no half measures .
You have nothing to lose , I certainly didn't , except your life and sanity of course .
Great to hear someone with over 30 years still have that sense of urgency Marien!
Your experience is a little different to mine. I was actually working in a pub when I got sober and continued to do so for the first two years of my sobriety. I also didn't avoid my friends or people who drank, although I of course didn't stay around for the drinking sessions or the like anymore. I would often go home after my shift and maybe log on to hear a talk or chat to other sober alkies the world over. I made many new contacts and even met some of them in person around the world later on. It's been a great adventure
By then (having tried to get sober numerous times) it was a simple case of reading the writing on the wall: the party with booze was over for good.
I was the one who was alcoholic - not my friends. Yes many of them drank a lot, but booze didn't cause them to react and behave like I did. They could stop at the end of a night and maybe go for food or even have coffee etc--but not me. I always wanted to keep at it until I passed out or until something stopped me. I took the drink and the drink took me.
I saw after a time in AA that I owed many of my friends amends for how I'd been. It wasn't their fault I was alcoholic, it wasn't even my fault, but it was my responsibility to face the truth about my drinking and my selfish behavior and make it clear to them I would now try to be a better friend and not act that way anymore. I had to clean up my act and embrace a different way of being or else face a return to drinking and all the misery and humiliation that entails.
Everyone has their own path , we all have to find our own. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with Marien on is having to be willing to do whatever it takes to get well, and the absolute truth that half-measures do indeed avail us nothing.0 -
Amazingfun wrote: »Great to hear someone with over 30 years still have that sense of urgency Marien!
Your experience is a little different to mine. I was actually working in a pub when I got sober and continued to do so for the first two years of my sobriety. I also didn't avoid my friends or people who drank, although I of course didn't stay around for the drinking sessions or the like anymore. I would often go home after my shift and maybe log on to hear a talk or chat to other sober alkies the world over. I made many new contacts and even met some of them in person around the world later on. It's been a great adventure
By then (having tried to get sober numerous times) it was a simple case of reading the writing on the wall: the party with booze was over for good.
I was the one who was alcoholic - not my friends. Yes many of them drank a lot, but booze didn't cause them to react and behave like I did. They could stop at the end of a night and maybe go for food or even have coffee etc--but not me. I always wanted to keep at it until I passed out or until something stopped me. I took the drink and the drink took me.
I saw after a time in AA that I owed many of my friends amends for how I'd been. It wasn't their fault I was alcoholic, it wasn't even my fault, but it was my responsibility to face the truth about my drinking and my selfish behavior and make it clear to them I would now try to be a better friend and not act that way anymore. I had to clean up my act and embrace a different way of being or else face a return to drinking and all the misery and humiliation that entails.
Everyone has their own path , we all have to find our own. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with Marien on is having to be willing to do whatever it takes to get well, and the absolute truth that half-measures do indeed avail us nothing.
Absolutely 100 % , and to this day I never ,ever take my sobriety , my programme or my meetings for granted . It seems only like yesterday I made that decision and I renew it every day .
And just get all that sh*te and debris out of my life and really begin to live.0 -
[QUOTE=Amazingfun;92568824
I also didn't avoid my friends or people who drank, although I of course didn't stay around for the drinking sessions or the like anymore. I would often go home after my shift and maybe log on to hear a talk or chat to other sober alkies the world over. I made many new contacts and even met some of them in person around the world later on. It's been a great adventure
By then (having tried to get sober numerous times) it was a simple case of reading the writing on the wall: the party with booze was over for good.
I was the one who was alcoholic - not my friends. Yes many of them drank a lot, but booze didn't cause them to react and behave like I did. They could stop at the end of a night and maybe go for food or even have coffee etc--but not me. I always wanted to keep at it until I passed out or until something stopped me. I took the drink and the drink took me.
It wasn't their fault I was alcoholic, it wasn't even my fault, but it was my responsibility to face the truth about my drinking and my selfish behavior and make it clear to them I would now try to be a better friend and not act that way anymore. I had to clean up my act and embrace a different way of being or else face a return to drinking and all the misery and humiliation that entails.
Everyone has their own path , we all have to find our own. One thing I wholeheartedly agree with Marien on is having to be willing to do whatever it takes to get well, and the absolute truth that half-measures do indeed avail us nothing.[/QUOTE]
Says it all for me, And well done Amazingfun and Marienbad :-)0 -
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