When all the weddings dry up, it's a good thing

Rabidlamb

Anyone here in their mid 30's will have spent the last decade attending their friends weddings.
Finally the last of the bunch get hitched & that's it, no more invites, no more +1's, no more €150 in a card & €180 a room for 4 hours.

While weddings on their own can be fun getting hit with 4 or more a year is a real ballache.
Couples trying to outdo each other with greater expense being carried long into their married lives.
I for one celebrate the final passing of my generations weddings.

lazygal

Why don't you just decline the invitations?

kneemos

Funerals next op.

Beruthiel

It's a real burden having friends.
Ditch them all OP and become a hermit.

Where To

I'm in my mid thirties and have only been at two weddings in the last ten years. It's not that I don't have friends, I just don't like most of them.

BraziliaNZ

I think funerals are far more spiritual and meaningful than weddings. They really make you appreciate life more. Can't stand weddings and would never inflict one on anyone else.

dr.bollocko

Time off work... Friends and family... Booze... Food... Nice surroundings....
What's not to like?

Leftist

I reject invitations. Couldn't give two sugars about some attention seeking religious ceremony dedicated to celebrating some relationship I don't care about.
It's a woman's thing anyway. Massive burden for blokes.

4zn76tysfajdxp

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Time off work... Friends and family... Booze... Food... Nice surroundings....
What's not to like?

You've changed, man.

Rabidlamb

lazygal wrote: »

Why don't you just decline the invitations?

Leftist wrote: »

I reject invitations. Couldn't give two sugars about some attention seeking religious ceremony dedicated to celebrating some relationship I don't care about.
It's a woman's thing anyway. Massive burden for blokes.

Problems is if you were one of the first married & they came to yours they expect the favour returned.
There was one couple where we couldn't make it as my wife was close to her due date but we still felt obliged to stick the €150 in the card.

starlings

Lucky my friends mostly aren't the marrying kind and those that are are sound. I've only been to two weddings and in both cases the brides were anxious that the guests would think the party was too simple, when, being the lovely women that they are, they threw the most joyous, lively shindigs that had us all smiling for days.

Balmed Out

Love weddings but yeah it can be a bit much when you get a rake of them together. Had 9 one year 8 of which were in the summer which is annoying.

thier

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Time off work... Friends and family... Booze... Food... Nice surroundings....
What's not to like?

You're probably male. If you're a woman, you've to spend a fortune on an outfit. Having several weddings to go to in a year would bankrupt you.

AnonoBoy

Leftist wrote: »

I reject invitations. Couldn't give two sugars about some attention seeking religious ceremony dedicated to celebrating some relationship I don't care about.

What about civil ceremonies? :pac:

BillyMitchel

I for one feel your pain OP, I have 5 this year and one of them is abroad.. Which also means 5 stags...


Great craic, cant wait

thier

Rabidlamb wrote: »

Problems is if you were one of the first married & they came to yours they expect the favour returned.
There was one couple where we couldn't make it as my wife was close to her due date but we still felt obliged to stick the €150 in the card.

I won't be having a wedding with more than 5 people at it (including myself and himself) for this very reason.

seamus

Yeah, my mates aren't the marrying kind. And if they are, they're the eloping kind. My wife's mates though are. And there are ten of them unmarried, so I expect quite a few weddings over the next five years.

I do love weddings though. Short holiday in a hotel, eating, drinking, stupid dancing, hotel hangover breakfast the next morning. I can't see how someone doesn't like them.

AnonoBoy

thier wrote: »

I won't be having a wedding with more than 5 people at it (including myself and himself) for this very reason.

You, your intended wife/husband, the registrar, 2 witnesses.

Some craig dude. Some craic.

AnonoBoy

100 in the card

100 for the room

whats the problem

you dont have the money .. dont put money in the card ..

And use a fake name/card and don't pay for the room either.

Everyone's a winner!






.....except the hotel who you've stolen room and board from and for that you should be ashamed of yourself.

BillyMitchel

100 in the card

100 for the room

whats the problem

you dont have the money .. dont put money in the card ..

Fock , i've only been putting 50 in but its just been me. Is that too little?? Stags, gargle, hotels, coke and brazzers dont come cheap and I've no one to split the cost with

Froyo

Irish weddings (well the 6 I've been to!!) are boring and monotonous as hell!

Same church ceremony, just different wedding dress. Same old speeches with a few choice words thrown in...in you're lucky.

On to the reception at some hotel. Pre dinner drinks before you're ushered into the dining room.

You'll be seated at a table with some friends and friends of friends where the conversation starts with 'do you work with...or...'

Speeches sometimes before the dinner, sometimes after.

There'll be a bet at most tables as to how long the speeches will last. The 'winner' usually has to buy a round for the table with his/her winnings. What's the frackin' point!?

Bride and groom dance to a crap song that has nothing to do with their relationship eg. 'Every Breath You Take' - it's about a break up you f*cktards!

Few tunes and everyone loosens up a bit more and inevitably gets hammered...onto the residents bar...dying the next day!

When it's my turn, it'll be abroad somewhere nice, somewhere quiet with family and actual friends and it'll be carried out as though it actually means something.

Madam_X

thier wrote: »

You're probably male. If you're a woman, you've to spend a fortune on an outfit.

No you don't. That's entirely a choice. So is the self inflicted thing of "I can't wear the same outfit to two weddings" some women, bless 'em, go on with.

I love weddings when they're those of friends and family. Even the weddings I've been to as a +1 where I didn't know people that well were still a laugh.

The "I hate weddings and I don't care about the people getting married and religious entity derp derp derp" stuff just sounds like whiny teenagers/people with few or no friends. Some of the weddings I've been to may not have been done in the way I'd do it, but so what? It's their day, not mine. If it's the wedding of someone you really don't care about, grow a spine and don't go, or if you really have to, don't make a massive effort. I always find it's the people who complain the most about weddings are the ones who seem to think you "have to" spend a fortune. No you don't. At all. Stop worrying about whether other people whom you don't know will think you're stingy for not spending a fortune/poor.

I'm the same age as you OP and it's only starting for me.

Boombastic

I just give an empty unsealed card and write on it 'Enjoy spending the dosh'

Aw I'm sad that almost all my friends are married.

I love the day out, the getting dressed up, the food, the laughs with my friends - some of who only come home from abroad for special occasions, the dancing, the sing songs in the residents bar, the meeting for brekkie the next morning!

I love ALL of it. And none of the weddings I've attended were "trying to out-do the other", maybe I'm just not friends with people who try to out-do friends!!

starlings

thier wrote: »

You're probably male. If you're a woman, you've to spend a fortune on an outfit. Having several weddings to go to in a year would bankrupt you.

I don't... but then the weddings I've been to were full of friends who don't care how much dresses cost. You can look a million dollars in an inexpensive frock, as long as you're enjoying yourself at a happy occasion.

BUBBLE WRAP

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Fock , i've only been putting 50 in but its just been me. Is that too little?? Stags, gargle, hotels, coke and brazzers dont come cheap and I've no one to split the cost with

I will go with you...

I always wanted to go to a stag where I didn't know anyone.. :cool:

thier

thier wrote: »

You're probably male. If you're a woman, you've to spend a fortune on an outfit. Having several weddings to go to in a year would bankrupt you.

Rubbish. That's a choice.

The last wedding I went to the dress was from Penneys. €17 and gorgeous. The wedding before that was a dress I already had. Before that I got a dress for €13 in a summer sale.

You learn pretty quickly that you don't need to spend a fortune to look nice.

jester77

I wouldn't me so joyful OP, I enjoyed going to all my friends wedding. Now it's their parents funerals that I am attending

gobnaitolunacy

Froyo wrote: »

Irish weddings (well the 6 I've been to!!) are boring and monotonous as hell!

Same church ceremony, just different wedding dress. Same old speeches with a few choice words thrown in...in you're lucky.

On to the reception at some hotel. Pre dinner drinks before you're ushered into the dining room.

You'll be seated at a table with some friends and friends of friends where the conversation starts with 'do you work with...or...'

Speeches sometimes before the dinner, sometimes after.

There'll be a bet at most tables as to how long the speeches will last. The 'winner' usually has to buy a round for the table with his/her winnings. What's the frackin' point!?

Bride and groom dance to a crap song that has nothing to do with their relationship eg. 'Every Breath You Take' - it's about a break up you f*cktards!

Few tunes and everyone loosens up a bit more and inevitably gets hammered...onto the residents bar...dying the next day!

When it's my turn, it'll be abroad somewhere nice, somewhere quiet with family and actual friends and it'll be carried out as though it actually means something.

Coming by yourself, you get shoved into the table with children and other dateless wonders.

'Sweet Caroline' guaranteed to be on the DJ's playlist. Without fail.

Das Kitty

OP, just wait til the second marriages roll around! There's one in the offing amongst my group of friends. I was bridesmaid at the first wedding... doubt I'll be asked a second time!

Two weddings coming up in February, I'm looking forward to one of them, the other I'm dreading, but I can't let my husband go on his own. That would be just cruel.

BillyMitchel

jester77 wrote: »

I wouldn't me so joyful OP, I enjoyed going to all my friends wedding. Now it's their parents funerals that I am attending

Man thats depressing as fock.. Can you not tell us stories about how you shagged the brides maid or done the helicopter on the dance floor or something??

starlings

thier wrote: »

I won't be having a wedding with more than 5 people at it (including myself and himself) for this very reason.

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You, your intended wife/husband, the registrar, 2 witnesses.

Some craig dude. Some craic.

bit mean... not every couple want the fuss of a big wedding, and it's their day. And thier's day and I'm sure it'll be lovely for them.

SunnyDub1

To be fair the amount of money a Friend can sometimes expect you to spend on a wedding can be a shocking amount.

For example my cousin had this idea in her head of wanting to go to Vegas for her hens :eek: She's watching To much films :rolleyes:

starlings

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

To be fair the amount of money a Friend can sometimes expect you to spend on a wedding can be a shocking amount.

For example my cousin had this idea in her head of wanting to go to Vegas for her hens :eek: She's watching To much films :rolleyes:

If they're a friend, you can explain that it's too expensive for you. If they still insist, they're not really a friend.

kunst nugget

Froyo wrote: »

When it's my turn, it'll be abroad somewhere nice, somewhere quiet with family and actual friends and it'll be carried out as though it actually means something.

Funny thing is, for the bride and groom most of the stuff you're giving out about means something to them on the day. You that foreign wedding you'll have that will mean something will actually just mean something just to you and your other half and will probably mean nothing to your guests beyond the worry of how much it's cost them for flights and hotels.

And I'm with the OP. After ten years of weddings I'm glad to see them slowing down and the possibility of a year with none on the horizon.

hooradiation

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

For example my cousin had this idea in her head of wanting to go to Vegas for her hens

That sounds like great fun.
Why do you hate fun?

AnonoBoy

starlings wrote: »

bit mean... not every couple want the fuss of a big wedding, and it's their day. And thier's day and I'm sure it'll be lovely for them.

That's true. I apologise.

Larianne

Deleted User wrote: »

You learn pretty quickly that you don't need to spend a fortune to look nice.

Some people don't. Spend a fortune on clothes and still look shíte. :pac:

starlings wrote: »

If they're a friend, you can explain that it's too expensive for you. If they still insist, they're not really a friend.

Have you ever read any of the threads in the Wedding & Marriage forum? Jeez, the stress and pressure some people are put under by family and friends getting married!!

Only been to one wedding myself so the jurys out on whether they're fun or not. Not a huge fan of big social events. :cool:

Knockout_91

Spent about 3 years working at weddings and never have I been so depressed! When "time of your life" came on my heart used to sink! Ugh. I look at the bride and groom and wonder how long it'll last. My god I am a negative creature

the groutch

don't get this whole thing of them looking for cash in the card.
that's something for kids' birthdays, not weddings.
no way I'm paying for their wedding & honeymoon.

Knockout_91

the groutch wrote: »

don't get this whole thing of them looking for cash in the card.
that's something for kids' birthdays, not weddings.
no way I'm paying for their wedding & honeymoon.

Cash in a card? What's this? When the OP said cash in a card I thought it was his money for drinks

Fighting Irish

Leftist wrote: »

I reject invitations. Couldn't give two sugars about some attention seeking religious ceremony dedicated to celebrating some relationship I don't care about.
It's a woman's thing anyway. Massive burden for blokes.

It's an expensive piss up, but usually worth it

SunnyDub1

hooradiation wrote: »

That sounds like great fun.
Why do you hate fun?

Sounds like fun but also very pricey fun, not everyone is financially comfortable to pay to go to Vegas for 4 night for a hens, as well as pay for accomadtion for a wedding etc.
If she had of gave us some notice (months) I would have reconsidered,saved up and looked upon it has a lil Holiday as well as a hens but to expect 8 girls to pay for a trip to Vegas in 2 months time is a bit much.

Anyways we all laughed off the idea and she soon came back to reality

the groutch

Knockout_91 wrote: »

Cash in a card? What's this? When the OP said cash in a card I thought it was his money for drinks

apparently it's the new thing that you're not allowed to buy presents anymore and have to give them cashmoney instead.

starlings

Larianne wrote: »

Have you ever read any of the threads in the Wedding & Marriage forum? Jeez, the stress and pressure some people are put under by family and friends getting married!!

I have read some of it in PI too, but I don't understand why people don't just say no. Weddings are supposed to be the cementing of a relationship, not the splintering of a network of relationships. If difficult people end up not talking to you over it - bonus!

Madam_X

the groutch wrote: »

apparently it's the new thing that you're not allowed to buy presents anymore and have to give them cashmoney instead.

Normal people are grateful for either. Only a handful of weirdos write "Cash gifts only" on the invitation; they're not representative of most people who get married.

gimmick

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I think funerals are far more spiritual and meaningful than weddings. They really make you appreciate life more. Can't stand weddings and would never inflict one on anyone else.

Leftist wrote: »

I reject invitations. Couldn't give two sugars about some attention seeking religious ceremony dedicated to celebrating some relationship I don't care about.
It's a woman's thing anyway. Massive burden for blokes.

Such hatred. Such negativity.

If you like your friends, you will attend their wedding as you, presumably anyway, like seeing your friends happy.

Saying a funeral makes you appreciate life more is possibly the most nihilist thing I have ever read on this forum. Good grief.

Re the OP - we had 4 last year including our own. Have 5 this year which would have been 6 if it wasn't for a date clash. 2 ways of looking at it - "ugh the expense" or "woohoo, some great sessions lie ahead with my friends". Of course you can look at it both ways as well depending on your mood.

A friend of mine summed it up a few years ago when someone was complaining about having a crap load of weddings in the summer - "wait until you are in your 40s, and have kids, you will long for the days of yore and wonder what you were whinging about!".

starlings wrote: »

I have read some of it in PI too, but I don't understand why people don't just say no. Weddings are supposed to be the cementing of a relationship, not the splintering of a network of relationships. If difficult people end up not talking to you over it - bonus!

TBF, internet forums are not the place to talk about weddings as you have some very scary "experts" and an awful lot of mega bitter people giving advice".

Madam_X wrote: »

Normal people are grateful for either. Only a handful of weirdos write "Cash gifts only" on the invitation; they're not representative of most people who get married.

Worst I heard of was "suggested donation".

With regard to cash gifts though - I always think they are best as some people can buy you some awful horrible shít which will end up in the SVP store or in the attic within a few weeks.

Rituals are important to humans life is full of them christenings/naming ceremonies/Debs/twenty firsts/marriages/ birthdays/ wedding anniversaries and funerals!

Think on to a time when a lot of you social outings are funerals.

gabsdot40

We've started to be invited to weddings as friends of the parents of bride / groom.

conorhal

Leftist wrote: »

I reject invitations. Couldn't give two sugars about some attention seeking religious ceremony dedicated to celebrating some relationship I don't care about.
It's a woman's thing anyway. Massive burden for blokes.

She said no then? Bummer dude.

wonder88

I am another one who has only been putting 50 in the envelop, no wonder I have not been invited to a local upcoming one. However I have declined a fair few invitations in recent years as I get older. Funerals are becoming more regular in my social life lately as I am in my 40's. While I am by nature a "quite person" sport, and to a lesser extend cultural occasions mean I have plenty of social outings. However I notice that a lot of people actually look forward to weddings of friends, neighbours.