Would You Leave someone if they cheated on you

trxking

title says it all

Lollipops23

Depends on so many factors tbh- what level of cheating, why they did it, how long you're together etc.

If my OH kissed someone else, I'd be devestated of course and I'd have serious doubts about the future of the relationship-but I'd probably do my best to move on from it.

Sleeping with someone would be a no-brainer though-he'd be packing his bags (minus his man bits).

hoodwinked

If he kissed someone it would depend on the context, if there was emotional/physical cheating then he'd be gone!

Czarcasm

trxking wrote: »

title says it all

Title leaves out your opinion on the subject?

kfallon

Prob best to leave them, the trust is gone

lachin

Yes

ToddyDoody

Ideally not necessarily but, sexually, I would find it difficult to continue as normal.. Particularly if I had a dislike to the guy who I was cheated on for. If it was someone somehow that I didn't mind too much I would actually find it easier I think, though no-one too familiar.

Gauss

You're stepping on my turf buddy.

Also if my girlfriend were to cheat I'd fill her orifice with cement and remove her bits.

thehomeofDob

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. 4 years going out, engaged, ex had a full-on affair that was going on for a month. In that context, there's only one thing to do and that's pack your bags and leave.

1ZRed

If the trust is gone I don't think that's fair on either one to stay together, even if they cheated and were in the wrong, because the relationship would be strained if that was always looming over it that one side was untrusting of the other.

Too much stress in that and feck that, I'd say I'd just bite the bullet and leave, even if I was mad after them.

Shenshen

trxking wrote: »

title says it all

Define "cheating".

Personally, my husband and I are in an open relationship, so what you would consider cheating I probably wouldn't.

who_me

Leave them? When you now have a green-card for one guilt-free cheat in the bag?

Are you crazy?

1ZRed

Shenshen wrote: »

Define "cheating".

Personally, my husband and I are in an open relationship, so what you would consider cheating I probably wouldn't.

But that's just it, if you hadn't those rules set down then it would be cheating. Both sides agreeing to an open relationship isn't cheating.

Where To

No. Anyone who says they can is cheating on most important person . yourself.

Hippies!

trxking wrote: »

title says it all

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=82468097

:pac::D:pac::D



:mad:

ToddyDoody

Gauss wrote: »

You're stepping on my turf buddy.

Also if my girlfriend were to cheat I'd fill her orifice with cement and remove her bits.

huh. (hear that girlfriend?! )

cantdecide

Gauss wrote: »

You're stepping on my turf buddy.

Also if my girlfriend were to cheat I'd fill her orifice with cement and remove her bits.

WTF dude

Larbre34

Shenshen wrote: »

Define "cheating".

Personally, my husband and I are in an open relationship, so what you would consider cheating I probably wouldn't.

The definition of cheating is what the rest of us think it is so.

How are things in 1970's Manhattan by the way? Tell Warhol and Debbie Harry we said hi.

Maximus Alexander

Yeah. Relationships are all about trust.

Shenshen

Larbre34 wrote: »

The definition of cheating is what the rest of us think it is so.

How are things in 1970's Manhattan by the way? Tell Warhol and Debbie Harry we said hi.

I was a toddler in the 70s?

Rented Mule

They would be GONE.

Simple as that.

Unregistered.

Needs poll. Would love to see men's opinion vs. women's opinion.

Brain Stroking

Yes out the door in the morning and would never hear a word from me again.
Happened before and that's what i did. The girl who cheated on me called me "a cold prick" about a year afterwards. She obviously wanted more of a reaction or bust-up. All she got was silence.

Larbre34

Shenshen wrote: »

I was a toddler in the 70s?

Was it your husband suggested the 'open' relationship by any chance?

1ZRed

Gauss wrote: »

You're stepping on my turf buddy.

Also if my girlfriend were to cheat I'd fill her orifice with cement and remove her bits.

Do you discuss your infidelity with friends free of guilt?

Why did you cheat?

I reckon you're the biggest hypocrite I've seen in a while or a bad troll. I'm leaning toward the latter

Brain Stroking

Larbre34 wrote: »

Was it your husband suggested the 'open' relationship by any chance?

You're just assuming she's under duress based on your own prejudices to her lifestyle. Maybe she just loves the dick and has coerced her poor cuckolded husband into agreeing? Just as likely as a scenario given the information provided.

humbert

I think a lot more people say the would break up than actually do.

1ZRed

Unregistered. wrote: »

Needs poll. Would love to see men's opinion vs. women's opinion.

I'd say guys would love to think they'd dump her if ever she cheated on him, but the thing is, it's easy to say "yeah I'd leave no questions about it" but as has been pointed out already, there are many factors involved including your feelings for them that don't just vanish there and then once you hear the news, so that could cloud and complicate things a lot and make it less straight forward.

I think the outcome varies from situation to situation

HHobo

thehomeofDob wrote: »

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. 4 years going out, engaged, ex had a full-on affair that was going on for a month. In that context, there's only one thing to do and that's pack your bags and leave.

Sorry to hear that. Thats a horrible position to be in. I think your response is spot on.

HHobo

Shenshen wrote: »

Define "cheating".

Personally, my husband and I are in an open relationship, so what you would consider cheating I probably wouldn't.

It is hardly cheating if everyone considers it within the rules.

Napper Hawkins

If they can do it once they can do it twice. Trust is gone, bye bye now.

Max Power1

I'd like to think I would leave

HHobo

Brain Stroking wrote: »

You're just assuming she's under duress based on your own prejudices to her lifestyle. Maybe she just loves the dick and has coerced her poor cuckolded husband into agreeing? Just as likely as a scenario given the information provided.

While you could be right about her motivations, no information provided is contrary to it, you would be dismissing the known biases of men and women to declare the latter scenario "just as likely".

He jumped the gun in the assumption certainly but it is an assumption that is not without some statistical leaning.

Biggins

trxking wrote: »

Would You Leave someone if they cheated on you

After a second attempt by me to make a marriage work - and she had an affair again, I called a halt.

Da Shins Kelly

I think a lot depends on the circumstances. If they cheated when the relationship was failing anyway, I'd probably find it easier to understand, but I'd still be angry that they went behind my back instead of just having it out with me, honestly. There is also a difference between just kissing another person and having sex with someone else, and obviously I'd be much more upset at the latter. Either way though, I'd probably be too embarrassed and wary after that to stay.

Brain Stroking

HHobo wrote: »

While you could be right about her motivations, no information provided is contrary to it, you would be dismissing the known biases of men and women to declare the latter scenario "just as likely".

He jumped the gun in the assumption certainly but it is an assumption that is not without some statistical leaning.

True, but he/she did not present any alternative and assumed without anything to back it up from what she had said. All we know is she is married, was born in the 1970s and is in an open relationship with her husband. Not enough to go on in my opinion to be asking any leading questions.

Cheerful Spring

If she slept with another guy shes be out the door, that is more intimate than a kiss least for me. I don't believe anyone is too drunk too to not remember there doing something wrong. It just an excuse.

If you want to cheat and meet someone new be honest and part ways, least neither party will be hurt by what you're doing then.

py2006

I never liked the phrase, "once a cheat, always a cheat" or words to that effect.

We all make major mistakes in life but that doesn't mean we are going to repeat them on a regular basis.

All situations and people are different.

W.Shakes-Beer

Yes, game over I'm afraid.

No trust and disrespectful.

HHobo

Brain Stroking wrote: »

Not enough to go on in my opinion to be asking any leading questions.

Well at least it was a question, though definately a leading one

Harry Burns

No, I'd take her to Vegas and put her card counting skills to good use.

HHobo

py2006 wrote: »

I never liked the phrase, "once a cheat, always a cheat" or words to that effect.

We all make major mistakes in life but that doesn't mean we are going to repeat them on a regular basis.

All situations and people are different.

It also doesn't mean that we shouldn't carry the consequences of our actions with us all of our lives.

If I murdered somone only once and definately wouldn't do it again, it doesn't mean I'm not a murderer.

kowloon

Gauss wrote: »

You're stepping on my turf buddy.

Also if my girlfriend were to cheat I'd fill her orifice with cement and remove her bits.

Sement

py2006

HHobo wrote: »

It also doesn't mean that we shouldn't carry the consequences of our actions with us all of our lives.

If I murdered somone only once and definately wouldn't do it again, it doesn't mean I'm not a murderer.

I think the phrase in question means that the person will cheat again because they have done it in the past.

LivelineDipso

I know several women who had a boyfriend/husband, and in fit of anger (understandable), they dumped him/got divorced. Only to regret it for the rest of their lives. Often the decision to end the relationship was at the naggin of other women. "Dump him girlfriend!" - but these women do not have to live with the consequences of the relationship ending for good. They pressure the woman to dump a man who just needs a lecture and may well be - even with the cheating - be the best man for them. I know this sounds strange, but its a common story.

They spent the rest of their lives realising that the they made a terrible mistake being so black and white about it.

Men do stupid and immature things. Often they regret them. But once he is out the door, you might be sorry you acted so impulsively as you may find that you'll never replace him.

Something women need to think about - their black and white response can be just as immature and self-destructive and their partner's cheating.

Often the man who cheats finds someone else and has a happy life in another relationship. The woman who dumped him for cheating on her ends up with guys who are "safe" and they end up pining for the one they threw away in a fit of anger.

Cheating and having an affair is wrong, but wrecking a relationship because of it can often be a terrible mistake.

Men are idiots when it comes to their mickeys and they may still only love their current partner at a very deep non sexual level and some women need to understand this. Because when he is gone, he is gone forever.

"Girlfriend!"

The Jammy dodger

No

johnolocher

Mrs johnolocher would be out the door if she cheated. I think a relationship is based upon trust and love and if the partner betrays either of those things there's no way back, I don't think I'd be able to trust that person again.

If it was just a kiss I think Id still find it hard because she has cheated mentally and shows she isn't committed, I'd do my best to move on but I don't think the relationship would be the same again

HHobo

py2006 wrote: »

I think the phrase in question means that the person will cheat again because they have done it in the past.

That is its meaning. It is false to assume that of course, however, assuming that nobody sets out to become a cheat, there was always a time when they beleived they wouldn't do such a thing. They have proven a capacity to do it. I think it is about trust ultimately.

I take the posters point that some cheating is worse than others with regard to circumstance but too many people are of the opinion that contrition makes everything ok. I'm sorry, therefore its ok now.

The only person who really knows how much damage you did is the partner you cheat on. They may not see the circumstances as you do. Also, if your relationship is bad enough that cheating becomes more acceptable, it is bad enough to end before going off with someone else.

Biggins

LivelineDipso wrote: »

...Cheating and having an affair is wrong, but wrecking a relationship because of it can often be a terrible mistake.

In your opinion, in some cases... fair enough.

Was married before (now happy and better married to second wife).
First wife went had an affair while I was working 24/7 to start up a business and see that the bills (mortgage, etc) was paid.

* She had an affair with work staff member. It was found out.

We decided after a sit down to try again and make it work - at least thats what she said. Within a short while, off she went again.

After that - there was NO trust whatsoever.

The marriage was too broken to be fixed again.

Sometimes it MIGHT be a mistake to walk away too early - but sometimes its a bigger mistake to stick it out continuously, for your only fooling oneself and causing the emotional pain to be stretched out over a longer period.


...O' and your whole post (maybe by mistake) conveys that it's mainly men that do the cheating.
You would be wrong IF thats the case.

LivelineDipso

another question which needs to be brought into this debate:

Was there anything about you which caused him/her to stray?

I am not implying anything, but some people really are married to people they are not compatible with and sheet happens.

Also I know one chap was married to a nasty and very unattactive woman. He was good looking and years younger. She basically played on him emotions when they met. His mother died when he was younger and she spotted this and became a kind of mother/wife to him. But if you saw this couple together you would wonder WTF! He was attactive and clean living. She was overweight, short-haired, chubby hermaprodite, chain smoking wagon in every sense. The classic Irish Pig women with the bingo wings and loud laugh you see in Lanzerotti. He spent years being the ideal husband. She was not very affectionate towards him.

One day he meets a younger and more compatible woman and it was instant chemistry. The two of them spent three years doing everything to not have an affair. Natually it happened. Nora O' Batty found out and she threw him out.

The guy and the other women are blissfully happy while his first wife is doing everything to make his life a hell.

So was this cheating wrong?

I think the "trust" thing is red herring. These people are insecure that they can hold onto their relationships and would be aware that if he/she had an affair it might of been because hs/she was getting the love and respect he deserves.

I know it works the other way around and some fellas have beautiful and loving wives and they knob pigs behind their back. These guys are not typical of most men who cheat.

The Jammy dodger

LivelineDipso wrote: »

another question which needs to be brought into this debate:

Was there anything about you which caused him/her to stray?

I am not implying anything, but some people really are married to people they are not compatible with and sheet happens.

So because I put on an extra few pounds, thats a good excuse for the wife to go out and commit adultery with another man?