Why does it bother others so much that you don't drink?

Dare2baDaniel

I am 23 and I last drank when I was 21. When I met new people I get the same reaction when they discover I don't drink,

1) They stare wide-eyed at me, with an expression on their face as if I just told them I have just been let out of prison for murder.
2) They say ''SERIOUSLY?'' about 5 times
3) They ask me why repeatedly.


When I answer people and tell them I don't like drinking, they feel the need to probe and probe and keep asking me ''why, no seriously why?, you're messin', seriously though why?''

I find this irritating and rude. Why does it bother people so much that we don't drink?:(

Merch

people are so used to conforming in virtually every aspect, if anyone breaks that pattern, then they are genuinely shocked because they simply cant conceive of any other way of doing things.

Liamario

Dare2baDaniel wrote: »

I am 23 and I last drank when I was 21. When I met new people I get the same reaction when they discover I don't drink,

1) They stare wide-eyed at me, with an expression on their face as if I just told them I have just been let out of prison for murder.
2) They say ''SERIOUSLY?'' about 5 times
3) They ask me why repeatedly.


When I answer people and tell them I don't like drinking, they feel the need to probe and probe and keep asking me ''why, no seriously why?, you're messin', seriously though why?''

I find this irritating and rude. Why does it bother people so much that we don't drink?:(

Been there. As you get older and the people you befriend get older, it becomes a moot point.

bluemetwo

Have to disagree there, I haven't drank either since I was in my mid twenties (I am 43 now) and still find that people are shocked when I tell them I don't drink. The most annoying ones are those who insist on buying you a drink anyway and assume you will drink it. If I wanted a drink I would have asked for one !!

burke027

I get the same reaction also. I gave up drinking when herself got pregnant and the little lad is now 2 and I'm still off it. Infact I doubt il ever drink again as I have no intrest in it

Dare2baDaniel

It is the interrogation you get when you say you don't drink that I find annoying. It is a personal choice so I don't see how it is appropriate for others to question me over my choice. Part of it is probably my age group, for once I would love to turn around and tell them why I don't drink.

Stranger: "why don't you drink? why? you're s**** craic"
Me: "Because I am a recovered alcoholic"
Stranger: *shocked silence*

messrs

omg this annoys me so much!! im the same , dont have any interest in drinking and people in my job know this but yet every monday insist on asking me if i drank over the weekend, or if one of the girls is having a bad day she will say to me that she cant wait to get home and have a glass of wine and will then ask me if im going to have one when i get home!! its all the time and no matter how many times i tell them i dont drink they still ask me if i was drinking over the weekend or if i say i have a party or event coming up they will ask me if i plan on getting drunk! very frustrating - some people just dont get that others dont want to drink!!

bluemetwo

Daniel if I was you that's exactly what I would do !! Soon teach them not to be so flamin nosey !!

barney 20v

I have been called socially inept for being a non drinker, I grew up in a non drinking house so its perfectly normal to me not to drink.
My other half claims it to be a major factor in her wanting to have a relationship with me.

markbld65

bluemetwo wrote: »

Have to disagree there, I haven't drank either since I was in my mid twenties (I am 43 now) and still find that people are shocked when I tell them I don't drink. The most annoying ones are those who insist on buying you a drink anyway and assume you will drink it. If I wanted a drink I would have asked for one !!

same as you,

i'm in my late 40's and get exactly the same thing, get invited to a lot of company social events but prefer to not go as its all a drinking fest and enjoy the company of my family to be honest
usually get aw did you have a problem with the auld drink so ya cant drink now, nope i just prefer not to drink cant see the point in it for me and then they usually say so whats wrong with ya then lol

dont mind someone having a drink fair play to them but for me its a waste of time

Bassfish

Here's one for ye,
My brother in law's mother passed away recently. He doesn't drink, his mam didn't drink and and his Dad didn't drink. There was the usual thing after the funeral upstairs in a pub, finger food and what not. My brother in law's cousin whom he hadn't seen in years comes up to him;
Mick will ya have a pint?
No thanks, I'll have a coke though,
A coke, why aren't ya drinking, today of all days?
I don't drink, I'm a teetotaller!
Ah Jesus not another one in the family, what's wrong with all of ye?

Brother in law bites his tongue and walks away.
I thought it really shows the messed up attitude many irish people have about drink.

toastedpickles

I'm 21 and don't drink, I tell lads my age and all that I don't and they react as if I've commited the biggest crime known to man, one guy even threatened to "bate" me if I didn't start

I really don't know why it effects other people so much, it's like if you don't drink you're automatically "no craic"

SolarFlash

It's a fear thing, your not drinking makes the drinker question their drinking and sub-consciously they know drinking is very risky and that they really shouldn't be doing it and hence the anger rage thing. Tell them to feck off.

xzanti

My first Christmas in years (apart from the year my Son was born) that I haven't partaken in the Christmas drinking and I just tell people "I prefer my life without it" which is the truth

Quick and simple and it usually shuts them up

On a side note.. How much better is Christmas when you're not hungover wow.. Loving life right now.

Felexicon

I find people who don't drink to be a little bit boring in certain social situations. That would be the only thing the "bothers" me abount non drinkers

markbld65

Felexicon wrote: »

I find people who don't drink to be a little bit boring in certain social situations. That would be the only thing the "bothers" me abount non drinkers

lol

you want to be among drinkers at a social event and be sober not saying its boring but its some entertainment

Felexicon

markbld65 wrote: »

lol

you want to be among drinkers at a social event and be sober not saying its boring but its some entertainment

Yeah I'd say it is crap being a non drinker at a social event, that's why I'd find it strange that someone would chose not to drink.
It's usually the drinkers with all the best stories after a weekend

markbld65

Felexicon wrote: »

Yeah I'd say it is crap being a non drinker at a social event, that's why I'd find it strange that someone would chose not to drink.
It's usually the drinkers with all the best stories after a weekend

hmm sometimes then again some of the best story's i ever heard where about lads well on it lol

horses for courses i guess, folk having a drink never bothered me why should it we all have a choice mine is not to bother with the auld drink i dont need it to have a good time,

re your above quote, that's why I'd find it strange that someone would chose not to drink,
had a lad work for me in the uk years back he worked his arse off all week and pissed it up the wall every weekend, we got him to save a few pound so he could at least have a holiday so off he goes to spain and spent the 2 weeks in the hotel bar

now that's strange

as i said we all have a choice you find non-drinkers strange and i sometimes find drinkers strange thats life i guess

the_syco

Felexicon wrote: »

I find people who don't drink to be a little bit boring in certain social situations. That would be the only thing the "bothers" me abount non drinkers

Most of the people who are boring when they don't drink are avoided when they do drink.

Those that are good craic when they're sober are the best to be around when they're drunk.

xzanti wrote: »

My first Christmas in years (apart from the year my Son was born) that I haven't partaken in the Christmas drinking and I just tell people "I prefer my life without it" which is the truth

I agree that this would shut up most people that I know.

Felexicon

the_syco wrote: »

Most of the people who are boring when they don't drink are avoided when they do drink.

Those that are good craic when they're sober are the best to be around when they're drunk.


I agree that this would shut up most people that I know.

So shy people who come out of their shell after a few drinks should be avoided?

Anyway my point is that when I'm out I find most sober people to be boring and it never seems like they're having a good time so I find it hard to understand why they wouldn't just have a few pints and chill out

Dare2baDaniel

Felexicon wrote: »

So shy people who come out of their shell after a few drinks should be avoided?

Anyway my point is that when I'm out I find most sober people to be boring and it never seems like they're having a good time so I find it hard to understand why they wouldn't just have a few pints and chill out

It is highly likely they aren't having a good time if they are around someone with your attitude. It is sad that you need alcohol to enjoy yourself and relax. If you were confident in yourself you would not have these issues.

markbld65

Felexicon wrote: »

So shy people who come out of their shell after a few drinks should be avoided?

Anyway my point is that when I'm out I find most sober people to be boring and it never seems like they're having a good time so I find it hard to understand why they wouldn't just have a few pints and chill out

point is having a few pints would not chill me out lol

i dont need nor care for it same as some people like guinness and some like lager
say for example you drink lager would you find a guinness drinker strange or would you find a drug user strange would they find anyone that does not use a heavy drug strange ?? see its personnel choice

plenty of lads i know knock back 10 to 15 pints a night why ?? or a the weekend drink them silly and be as the phrase goes dying the next morning
then again i smoke like a chimney but i dont find non smokers boring or strange i accept the fact they dont smoke simple

whats boring is the fact that a person would go ot the same place night after night or weekend after weekend and do exactly the same thing eg nothing exists outside their drinking circle now that's strange to me

you find most sober people boring i can understand that but do you thing a sober person finds you exciting !!!, trust me i have been in that situation plenty of times and i have to say i find most when they have had a few to be unbelievable boring and full of bull****

so i guess its all personal choice again

Felexicon

markbld65 wrote: »

point is having a few pints would not chill me out lol

i dont need nor care for it same as some people like guinness and some like lager
say for example you drink lager would you find a guinness drinker strange or would you find a drug user strange would they find anyone that does not use a heavy drug strange ?? see its personnel choice

plenty of lads i know knock back 10 to 15 pints a night why ?? or a the weekend drink them silly and be as the phrase goes dying the next morning
then again i smoke like a chimney but i dont find non smokers boring or strange i accept the fact they dont smoke simple

whats boring is the fact that a person would go ot the same place night after night or weekend after weekend and do exactly the same thing eg nothing exists outside their drinking circle now that's strange to me

you find most sober people boring i can understand that but do you thing a sober person finds you exciting !!!, trust me i have been in that situation plenty of times and i have to say i find most when they have had a few to be unbelievable boring and full of bull****

so i guess its all personal choice again

A lot of what you're saying here are extreme cases like getting locked out of the bracket in the same pub every weekend or people who use heavy drugs.
That's not the kind of people I'm refering to. I'm just saying when I go out with people who don't drink in a social setting that I find them fairly boring to be around. I'm in no way saying that I don't do any other activities apart from one that revolve around drinking

markbld65

Felexicon wrote: »

A lot of what you're saying here are extreme cases like getting locked out of the bracket in the same pub every weekend or people who use heavy drugs.
That's not the kind of people I'm refering to. I'm just saying when I go out with people who don't drink in a social setting that I find them fairly boring to be around. I'm in no way saying that I don't do any other activities apart from one that revolve around drinking

fair enough

seems anyone that does not drink is a boring old fart is that it !!!

thats what i was saying you find them boring but they may also find you boring

think best to agree to disagree on this one and move along, its like a merry go round eg i dont drink im not boring and you find sober people boring,

its no biggie anyways people differ thats life just enjoy it

mfceiling

I get the look which usually translate as "must have had a problem with it"

I had a problem with it....couple of pints and my head was bursting the next day.

I'm back taking the odd drink now....as in last night over the space of 5 hours i drank the grand total of 1 and a half cans of bulmers.

I can go without it for months and not be annoyed.

Went to a house party over xmas and drank 1 glass of wine and 4 glasses of water...had one lad ask me why i wasn't drinking - can't face the hangover anymore i told him....yeah you're right he says. Watched him being carried out to the taxi later that night!!

Felexicon

markbld65 wrote: »

fair enough

seems anyone that does not drink is a boring old fart is that it !!!

thats what i was saying you find them boring but they may also find you boring

think best to agree to disagree on this one and move along, its like a merry go round eg i dont drink im not boring and you find sober people boring,

its no biggie anyways people differ thats life just enjoy it

That's not what I've said at all. I have loads of mates who don't drink and they're great craic. The only time they seem to be having a shít time is when everyone else is drinking so I don't see why either they don't go to social gatherings were drink is involved or have a few pints and enjoy the buzz.

Also I don't consider you boring as apart from a few posts here I don't know you. I'm sure you have an excellent social life and are a great laugh

supackofidiots

Felexicon wrote: »

So shy people who come out of their shell after a few drinks should be avoided?


Anyway my point is that when I'm out I find most sober people to be boring and it never seems like they're having a good time so I find it hard to understand why they wouldn't just have a few pints and chill out

Why don't you just come out of your shell when you are sober instead? There's a culture in Ireland that people can only be themselves when they're pissed out of their minds. A falsehood if ever I cam across one. The only person being true to themselves is someone who is comfortable enough to go out, have fun and not have be up to their gills in guinness. Most sober people aren't boring. I find drinkers to be quite boring to be honest. They spout the same nonsense over and over. after four pints it's ''awww this is gonna be the best night ever, i'm buzzing,i'm smashed.'' After 7 pints it's ''Awww man I love you''. After ten pints it's ''Awhghshr *grunt* hfhsghd..... kebab''

Felexicon wrote: »

A lot of what you're saying here are extreme cases like getting locked out of the bracket in the same pub every weekend or people who use heavy drugs.
That's not the kind of people I'm refering to. I'm just saying when I go out with people who don't drink in a social setting that I find them fairly boring to be around. I'm in no way saying that I don't do any other activities apart from one that revolve around drinking

Felexicon wrote: »

That's not what I've said at all. I have loads of mates who don't drink and they're great craic. The only time they seem to be having a shít time is when everyone else is drinking so I don't see why either they don't go to social gatherings were drink is involved or have a few pints and enjoy the buzz.

Also I don't consider you boring as apart from a few posts here I don't know you. I'm sure you have an excellent social life and are a great laugh

I have loads of mates who drink and don't drink. I had a problem with the drink myself, was sober for a long time, had a few drinks over the christmas. I always have a great time when drinking or non-drinking. Btw, that ''buzz'' you're experiencing is just your GABA channels being inhibited and increased levels of glutamate firing. It's temporary disinhibiton though, alcohol is a depressant, usually why you start to feel like a zombie after the 3rd pint. Enjoy your buzz.

kulareggae

I get the same reaction especially in college or in social situations, I gave up when I was pregnant and I have not touched it in 9 years, I feel that it would be silly for me to start now, My Oh does not drink as well, but I will have a non alcoholic beer sometimes in a social situation.

I have found people look me strange, or dont understand why I dont drink. I used to be close to an alcoholic, I drank liquour and vodka a lot, I got psoriosis and was warned to come off it by docs.

Felexicon

supackofidiots wrote: »

Why don't you just come out of your shell when you are sober instead? There's a culture in Ireland that people can only be themselves when they're pissed out of their minds. A falsehood if ever I cam across one. The only person being true to themselves is someone who is comfortable enough to go out, have fun and not have be up to their gills in guinness. Most sober people aren't boring. I find drinkers to be quite boring to be honest. They spout the same nonsense over and over. after four pints it's ''awww this is gonna be the best night ever, i'm buzzing,i'm smashed.'' After 7 pints it's ''Awww man I love you''. After ten pints it's ''Awhghshr *grunt* hfhsghd..... kebab''






I have loads of mates who drink and don't drink. I had a problem with the drink myself, was sober for a long time, had a few drinks over the christmas. I always have a great time when drinking or non-drinking. Btw, that ''buzz'' your experiencing is just your GABA channels being inhibited and increased levels of glutamate firing. It's temporary though disinhibiton though, alcohol is a depressant, usually why you start to feel like a zombie after the 3rd pint. Enjoy your buzz.

You know what mate you sound like you'd be a great laugh telling me all about my GABA channels as I get drunker and drunker.
I always find that non drinkers tend to look down on drinkers more than the other way around.
I've said I find non drinkers boring in certain situations but unlike you I haven't tried to slag them off for their choices

Squ

I just dont trust non drinkers. I feel the either have something to hide, or dont trust their tempers with a few pints on board.

Saying "i just dont" doesnt sway well either.. How can you turn your nose up at the hundreds of drinks you havent tried yet.

Saying "i dont like feeling drunk"? Just stop long before you get drunk.

supackofidiots

Felexicon wrote: »

You know what mate you sound like you'd be a great laugh telling me all about my GABA channels as I get drunker and drunker.
I always find that non drinkers tend to look down on drinkers more than the other way around.
I've said I find non drinkers boring in certain situations but unlike you I haven't tried to slag them off for their choices

you've said ''non drinkers are boring'', is that not slagging them off. Btw I haven't slagged anyone off, I merely stated some physiology facts for you to digest. Perhaps you don't like being faced with the cold hard reality of what alcohol does to your body? Would you like me to go through the pathophysiology of cirrhosis and fatty liver for you as well or would that be too hard a fact for you to face?

Squ wrote: »

I just dont trust non drinkers. I feel the either have something to hide, or dont trust their tempers with a few pints on board.

Saying "i just dont" doesnt sway well either.. How can you turn your nose up at the hundreds of drinks you havent tried yet.

Saying "i dont like feeling drunk"? Just stop long before you get drunk.

What's wrong with just not enjoying alcohol, and not enjoying the hangover, and not enjoying feeling like a corpse every saturday and sunday morning. It's a fairly legitimate reason to be honest?
Might I ask what you did on the 27th of December? I was up at the wise hour of 7am fresh as a daisy and went for a ten mile run. 95% of my mates were buried under the blankets saying their prayers that this misery would end. I'm guessing (correct me if I'm wrong), that you too were hanging like a rat all over the Christmas period.