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Is Getting Married Just Mindless Conformity?

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    #62
    beks101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Live and let live.

    If you love someone, your relationship has stood the test of time/living together/life's mishaps and it's of your financial/parental benefit to tie the knot, I'd see it as a reasonable next step in a relationship.

    Don't exactly agree with the Kim Kardashian style of tying, untying and re-tying the knot every five seconds, but sure that's Americans for you. :D Don't think we're quite at that stage yet.


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    #63
    eyeroad yearowl one
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭eyeroad yearowl one


    dd972 wrote: »
    Most of the most stultifyingly dull people I've encountered are married and some of the most interesting folk I've met have been single.


    But trust me, on the sunscreen


    :p


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    #64
    eyeroad yearowl one
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭eyeroad yearowl one


    eviltwin wrote: »
    With my husband since our teens, did everything backwards. Had the baby, then bought the house, only got married when I was 31 and he was 36. We did it cause it was what we wanted, married 4 years now and honestly I can't imagine being any other way.


    :eek::eek::eek::eek:

    A 5 year gap when you were both in your teens

    Jaysus. 19-14 or 18-13 are the only options!!


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    #65
    folamh
    Registered Users Posts: 787 ✭✭✭folamh


    Marriage seems like a very sensible decision to me: better health insurance, limited tax evasion, better pension to name a few good reasons for it. I don't think you can chalk it down to mindless conformity if it has tangible, material benefits for them as individuals. But yes, I'm sure some people do it just because it's the "thing to do".


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    #66
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,075 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Ella wrote: »
    I know a lot more happily married people than unhappy ones tbh.
    And I'd be the opposite :D I can count on the fingers of one hand the very long term couples where marriage/very long term relationships(10 years +) are healthy and content for both.

    I reckon it's personality (and timing) that tends to influence whether someone is happy in very long term relationships, marriage or not. Being adaptable, emotionally stable and open and easygoing are the biggies.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #67
    IM0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    no its mindless tomfoolery


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    #68
    midlandsmissus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Wibbs wrote: »
    And I'd be the opposite :D I can count on the fingers of one hand the very long term couples where marriage/very long term relationships(10 years +) are healthy and content for both.

    I reckon it's personality (and timing) that tends to influence whether someone is happy in very long term relationships, marriage or not. Being adaptable, emotionally stable and open and easygoing are the biggies.

    My parent's generation that I know of, they seem to be half and haalf, hapy or not: I can think of three couples:: 1 - he's an alcoholic - I don't know why she never left him, 2 - he's abusive, I don't know why she never left him,3. They had a baby together before marriage, and he was dithering about marriage so she threatened to move away,and then he married her. But I do know 3 other happy couples.

    if you get your parents talking abut how friends and relatives got together, it's very interesting!


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    #69
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    Pieces of paper have value. A piece of paper is what proves your citizenship, what allows you to buy booze at a certain age, what allows you to drive, what allows you to vote, what allows you to travel. A marriage document is similar in this way.

    On a legal note, marriage allows next of kin rights, health proxy rights over spouse or children, inheritance, immigration or citizenship and can socially legitimise your family status, whether there or kids or not. But if there are kids, it's probably important.

    On an emotional/psychological level, marriage or long termers aren't for everyone. And divorce stinks for kids.


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    #70
    Mully_2011
    Registered Users Posts: 385 ✭✭Mully_2011


    TBH I'd rather get a summons then an invitation to a wedding... The summons would work out cheaper


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    #71
    Judge Weiner
    Site Banned Posts: 28 ✭Judge Weiner


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    Tax credits :pac:
    Indeed that is a big plus point. It was worth the €21.08 it cost me to get married 9 years ago.

    Take that Noonan and you blueshirt idiots.


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    #72
    Fighting Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 7,065 ✭✭✭Fighting Irish


    beks101 wrote: »
    Live and let live.

    If you love someone, your relationship has stood the test of time/living together/life's mishaps and it's of your financial/parental benefit to tie the knot, I'd see it as a reasonable next step in a relationship.

    Don't exactly agree with the Kim Kardashian style of tying, untying and re-tying the knot every five seconds, but sure that's Americans for you. :D Don't think we're quite at that stage yet.

    The only sensible reason


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