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C&H Jizzler Awards Ceremony 2012
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27-12-2012 8:03pm#1
Well. I mean- hello and welcome to this year’s long-awaited C&H Jizzlers ceremony. I’ll be your host this evening – a great honour and nothing at all to do with the fact that no one else volunteered.
Those who are new to the scene and wondering “wut is d jizzlers???”, well, it’s like this: the Jizzlers is an awards ceremony. Where awards are handed out. As a ceremony. And it’s called the Jizzlers. I can’t be clearer than that.
“but y iz it calld de jizzlers???” you might irritatingly ask anyway.. Well, it’s like this: a long time ago a fertile young man called jizzler started a thread that would set the benchmark for all threads to come. Essentially, he asked – in bold defiance of the forum’s exclusive catering for youths (I’m 12 years old by the way) – for any MILFs reading to get in touch. Unfortunately, like many visionaries before him, he was laughed off. In time though C&H recognised him for what he was: a great lad. And named these awards after him and stuff.
“i dnt no wat ur sayin”.. Shut up.
Anyway, the first award will be given out in half an hour or so. In the meantime you can sit down, shut up and wait make yourselves at home, speculate wildly, or come along to my dressing room and give me money to rig the vote say hello.22
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jefreywithonef wrote: »SHOULD BE A COUPLE in eight or nine minutes depending how long I'm in the bathroom.
NO COMPLICATIONS.
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Should Be A Couple
ALL HAIL THE FIRST AWARD. Where we pretend to tolerate the shameless flirting that goes on. Previous winners were: I forget. But needless to say they probably went on to get married and spawned dozens of snotty little brats.
7th - (0%)
deise_girl and Jackobyte
Jhcx and wnolan1992
Palytoxin and PseudoFamous
Slow Show and Jackobyte
soccymonster and eoins23456
soccymonster and Palytoxin
(If anything does happen, remember guys.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YFC0O393DQ)
6th – (2.78%)
deise_girl and AtomicKoala
IHeartChemistry and cloud493
Jhcx and bookface
5th Place (2, 5.56%):
Davidius and Suidivad
(A good advertisement for incest.)
4th Place (3, 8.33%)
deise_girl and Cakes.
deise_girl and soccymonster and One Direction (deisemonsterection!) (:/)
soccymonster and deise_girl (no One Direction involved)
Duffy the Vampire Slayer
(Duffy was robbed.)
3rd – (11.11%) Remember guys, get married before you decide to do anything rash. (And don’t do anything with a rash, seriously.) deise_girl and PseudoFamous / Slow Show and Palytoxin
2nd – (13.89%) It’s the adorable pharmacy kids MauraTheThird and Palytoxin
1st – (16.67%) One of flyswatter’s final and most heroic acts as an active poster was to nominate this, 2012’s winner: Screw couples. Let's all have an orgy!
Unlucky, deise_girl.
The Jizzlers after-party is gonna be interesting...0 -
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Best Newcomer
Now we turn our attention to the new kids, the whipper-snappers who inject new life into the forum and make me feel old. The previous winners who were fresh enough to win awards include _meehan_ and **Timbuk2**.
Which user will join this esteemed bunch? Find out after the break.
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Welcome back to the rest of this post. Here are the users who finished outside the top three, a fine selection of users young and oldyoung:
7th – Duffy The Vampire Slayer (Duffy was robbed.)
6th – Insect Overlord / Patchy~ (these two promising youngsters are tied together, achieving 3.13% of the vote)
5th – eoins23456 (Regarded as a dark horse for his emphasis on quality over quantity (and his mane), eoin snatched 6.25% of the vote)
4th – JamJamJamJam (10%, Jam-lad is a popular new’un for his wit and enthusiasm for jam)
3rd - Way better than the first two Mauras, this one blazed onto the scene in recent weeks to finish third with a cool 12.5% of the vote: MauraTheThird
2nd – With almost 22% she is perhaps the most consistent runner-up ever - I’m not sure how she does it but she sure does excel at being new.. it’s the immortal Namlub
1st – In first place however with a whopping 43.75% it’s the chap who revived the Irish revival and created a stonkin’ good thread about pictures – may I be the first to say: HON PALYTOXIN
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Hon Palytoxin!jefreywithonef wrote: »Best Newcomer
Now we turn our attention to the new kids, the whipper-snappers who inject new life into the forum and make me feel old. The previous winners who were fresh enough to win awards include _meehan_ and **Timbuk2**.
Which user will join this esteemed bunch? Find out after the break.
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Welcome back to the rest of this post. Here are the users who finished outside the top three, a fine selection of users young and oldyoung:
7th – Duffy The Vampire Slayer (Duffy was robbed.)
6th – Insect Overlord / Patchy~ (these two promising youngsters are tied together, achieving 3.13% of the vote)
5th – eoins23456 (Regarded as a dark horse for his emphasis on quality over quantity (and his mane), eoin snatched 6.25% of the vote)
4th – JamJamJamJam (10%, Jam-lad is a popular new’un for his wit and enthusiasm for jam)
3rd - Way better than the first two Mauras, this one blazed onto the scene in recent weeks to finish third with a cool 12.5% of the vote: MauraTheThird
2nd – With almost 22% she is perhaps the most consistent runner-up ever - I’m not sure how she does it but she sure does excel at being new.. it’s the immortal Namlub
1st – In first place however with a whopping 43.75% it’s the chap who revived the Irish revival and created a stonkin’ good thread about pictures – may I be the first to say: HON PALYTOXIN0 -
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BEST MOD
Ah yes, the mods. Our fine team of moderators keep the riff raff down, obliterate spammers and maintain order at all times. Rule-breakers are tied up with piano wire and beaten. I’m just joshing - there is no piano wire. In all seriousness, the moderators do a fine job overseeing things and the Best Mod award draws attention to these noble banhammer-wielding creatures.
Fun fact: if you take the first letter of each mod’s name you can arrange it into P LAW. (I don’t know what the P is for.)
Here we go:
5th First off we have one of our senior mods; tricksters watch out it’s a member of the karma police who most certainly will put everything in its right place: Aoibheann
4th - Fourth, it’s the dormant mod who is liable to awake at any moment and ban the whole damn lot of ye.. Piste
3rd – This mod entered the fray a couple of months ago and took to modding like a duck to water, a cow to cud, a pig to mud, or any other appropriate simile that denotes aptitude; it’s the new kid on the block who has put a tremendous amount of effort into these Jizzlers... wnolan1992 wnolan1992
2nd – This user joined the elite squad of mods late last year and has helped steady the ship ever since. Also responsible for the Jizzler sigs and a marvellous playpen list she’s not afraid to lay down the law*, it’s Lawliet
* lawl(-iet)
Although she secured the most votes, Lawliet has very generously decided to relinquish this year’s Best Mod to honour the sterling work carried out by one former mod in particular HAS BEEN USURPED OF HER TITLE FOR CHEATING. So the winner... C&H’s greatest multi-tasker, she modded C&H with consistent aplomb for almost two years - sometimes singlehandedly - despite having to juggle college work, her job(s) and an alarming list of bizarre injuries; it’s the recently retired Pigwidgeon
Congrats!0 -
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Best Thread
OK, this and one other award before we take a break at half nine when I'll be resting my fingers or eating dinner or something. I'll overlook the shameful omission of the yussing thread and say we have an interesting array of threads to glorify here. One in particular though will have given you the most joy throughout the year, the one that has proved most fascinating/stimulating/funnyating, which you’ll click on and think “gee, I sure do like this thread”.
7th - The C&H Christmassy Thread of Christmas! [2011 Thread]
What films/TV shows are you watching? (zero votes each)
6th - aaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh / An’ Den Der Was Ligh’ / Running out of novel things to do now you've turned 18? Look no further! /The Linguistics+Etymology Thread (one vote / 3.45% of the total vote each)
5th - Jizzler’s 2012 – Nomination Thread [Nominations Close 17/12/12] / Tragic Young Suicides (6.9% each)
4th - Have You Ever Had Depression? (10.34%)
3rd – (13.79%) Not sure why anyone would want to talk to these losers but anyway it’s Come talk to us! C&H IRC
2nd – (17.4%) The thread where the music is so good discussion is rendered ruddy pointless, it’s Soundtrack To Your Angst
1st – (31.03%) The thread that combines artistic talent and the ability to think up batshit-crazy suggestions; THE JIZZLER FOR BEST THREAD GOES TO Palytoxin’s demented baby Draw a picture and ask for another!
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jefreywithonef wrote: »Best Newcomer
Welcome back to the rest of this post. Here are the users who finished outside the top three, a fine selection of users young and oldyoung:
7th – Duffy The Vampire Slayer (Duffy was robbed.)
6th – Insect Overlord / Patchy~ (these two promising youngsters are tied together, achieving 3.13% of the vote)
5th – eoins23456 (Regarded as a dark horse for his emphasis on quality over quantity (and his mane), eoin snatched 6.25% of the vote)
4th – JamJamJamJam (10%, Jam-lad is a popular new’un for his wit and enthusiasm for jam)
3rd - Way better than the first two Mauras, this one blazed onto the scene in recent weeks to finish third with a cool 12.5% of the vote: MauraTheThird
2nd – With almost 22% she is perhaps the most consistent runner-up ever - I’m not sure how she does it but she sure does excel at being new.. it’s the immortal Namlub
1st – In first place however with a whopping 43.75% it’s the chap who revived the Irish revival and created a stonkin’ good thread about pictures – may I be the first to say: HON PALYTOXIN
Firstly, a round of applause for our beautiful host, Jefreywithonef!
Secondly, a round of applause for the members of C&H!
Thirdly, a round of applause for my worthy competition!
And finally, a sincere thank you to my voters! I couldn't have done it without you :cool:
Now I'm going to regale you all with my heart-warming tale. I had a tough childhood, suffered through several hard years in my life. I lost my way in this world, found out the hard way, it's an eye for an eye. I was knocked down, got up again, and knocked down again, even knocked down before I could get up. But I pushed on through those hard days, which became weeks, which became months, and then years. I fought my corner, because I knew it would be worth it.
And now, here I am, and it truly is an honour, as the "Best Newcomer" of 2012. The culmination of efforts, the result of years toiling furiously, and it was worth it, every goddamn second, for this privilege.
Thank you!
PS- Want to shout out to IRC, they back me up, put me in my place, pick me up when I'm down, and keep me going. :P0 -
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It's a credit to all who have, do, and will draw in it.jefreywithonef wrote: »Best Thread
OK, this and one other award before we take a break at half nine when I'll be resting my fingers or eating dinner or something. I'll overlook the shameful omission of the yussing thread and say we have an interesting array of threads to glorify here. One in particular though will have given you the most joy throughout the year, the one that has proved most fascinating/stimulating/funnyating, which you’ll click on and think “gee, I sure do like this thread”.
7th - The C&H Christmassy Thread of Christmas! [2011 Thread]
What films/TV shows are you watching? (zero votes each)
6th - aaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh / An’ Den Der Was Ligh’ / Running out of novel things to do now you've turned 18? Look no further! /The Linguistics+Etymology Thread (one vote / 3.45% of the total vote each)
5th - Jizzler’s 2012 – Nomination Thread [Nominations Close 17/12/12] / Tragic Young Suicides (6.9% each)
4th - Have You Ever Had Depression? (10.34%)
3rd – (13.79%) Not sure why anyone would want to talk to these losers but anyway it’s Come talk to us! C&H IRC
2nd – (17.4%) The thread where the music is so good discussion is rendered ruddy pointless, it’s Soundtrack To Your Angst
1st – (31.03%) The thread that combines artistic talent and the ability to think up batshit-crazy suggestions; THE JIZZLER FOR BEST THREAD GOES TO Palytoxin’s demented baby Draw a picture and ask for another!
You have yourselves to thank, pat on the back everyone!
(And we've been copied by the nocturnal forum too :cool:)
Edit:This is unnecessary now, thanks wnolan1992!0 -
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MOST CREATIVE
Discuss.
This award rewards creativity. Plain and simple. There's no beating about the bush like some of these artist types. Tch.
But anyway, who has the best brush stroke? Who oozes talent? And so on?
5th Place (0, 0%):
Duffy the Vampire Slayer / The Great Chinholio
4th Place (1, 3.33%):
HugsiePie / JamJamJamJam / Jhcx / Pigwidgeon
3rd – (6.67%) My creativity extends to my great formatting of these posts, cheers for the foresight. Deise is of course totez creative in her use of the English language. deise_girl / jefreywithonef
2nd – (20%) A fine drawer and also someone who can go and write a sentence a whole lot way better than this one here which I am currently writing.. Banjo Fella
1st – (53.3%) The winner though secured over half the vote – it’s the guy who can make piano-playing mountains really hilarious Agnostic Mantis
Congrats! Most Creative Poster
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Second Best Beard Award (In Honour of Pygmalion)
Earlier this year we lost a good friend Pygmalion. He is greatly missed. One of the forum’s best ever posters, he was ridiculously witty, very clever and a superb short story writer. Furthermore, he had a wonderful beard. So in memory of Pyg and his rightful status of having the best beard, I present to you all the inaugural ‘Second Best Beard Award’. Who then has the second fluffiest face of them all? The user who has to comb their beard first thing in the morning? The eejit who shampoos their beard but doesn’t use conditioner? See below.
3rd – Sharing third spot (7.14% each), these two have fine stubble but perhaps it'll expand and allow them to have better success next year. Davidius / deise_girl
2nd – (21.43%) Duffy is the Everyman and the Everyman has a shít hot beard. Jamx4 grew a very impressive moustache for charity, well played! Duffy the Vampire Slayer / JamJamJamJam
1st – (42.86%) The legend goes that this user once donated some of her massive beard to a homeless man so he could use it as a duvet... Everyone must have believed this for THE WINNER IS soccymonster
Congratulations!
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