Farting on a first date

StormWarrior

minidazzler wrote: »

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Oh and as our literary genius James Joyce would say...

At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

btw, what book is this from, and is the rest of the book as good as this?

shedweller

Once she didn't fart on my face then i'd be ok with it.

Son Of A Vidic

CJC999 wrote: »

If it was accidental fart then I wouldn't mind but if she lifted her arse cheek and let one rip then end of date.

The fact that her arse cheek is actually big enough to require lifting.Then that alone should ensure rapid termination of said date.

cassid

my mother in law was on medication once, farting was a side effect. Everytime she moved she farted, we just had to pretend we did not hear them as the poor woman was mortified

WindSock

Culleeo wrote: »

I would let them away with it if they farted, but if they started breathing, there is no way I would go on a second date with them :rolleyes:

Would a necrophiliac call it a 'date' though?

WindSock

Duggy747 wrote: »

Depends, we talking about a little "poof"

Elton John is married though?

WindSock

Ok...,enough!

Ihatecuddles-old

I went on a date a few months ago, nice guy, got along great...woke up the next morning, turned over to face him and did a fart!!!

Oh god I was mortified he didn't say anything. I just kept willing him to laugh or something. Awkward silence....
I very rarely do it, just my luck to pick that moment.

We went out a few more times and laughed about it.

Feelgood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qwEvLs6w28

Feelgood

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I went on a date a few months ago, nice guy, got along great...woke up the next morning, turned over to face him and did a fart!!!

Must have got on pretty damn well if you were in the bed beside him the following morning

You hate cuddles, just straight to the sex eh?

Barry Barry

dttq wrote: »

Lets say you are sitting down to dinner during a first date, and the person farted. Would this turn you off and make you not want to meet up for a second date, even if she/ he is attractive. Or would you just laugh it off to yourself quietly and get on with things.

You farted on a first date didn't you? Now your trying to figure out if there'll be a second date

Ihatecuddles-old

Feelgood wrote: »

Must have got on pretty damn well if you were in the bed beside him the following morning

You hate cuddles, just straight to the sex eh?

Yeah pretty much...was the best sex of my life too! And I had to go and fart!!

TheLastMohican

Perfectly acceptable. Just as long as she doesn't do it when eating the breakfast in the morning

nice_very

minidazzler wrote: »

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Oh and as our literary genius James Joyce would say...

fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole.

I hope ur happy I choked on me jeme and coke!!!!!!!