Farting on a first date

dttq

Lets say you are sitting down to dinner during a first date, and the person farted. Would this turn you off and make you not want to meet up for a second date, even if she/ he is attractive. Or would you just laugh it off to yourself quietly and get on with things.

Anita Blow

10/10 on the title, would read again

cantdecide

I'm pretty tolerant but any more than one and I'm gettin' the hell outta Dodge:D

Culleeo

I would let them away with it if they farted, but if they started breathing, there is no way I would go on a second date with them :rolleyes:

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Deal breaker for me anyway. It's a sign of worse things to come.

cantdecide

Stealth Recce wrote: »

Deal breaker for me anyway. It's a sign of worse things to come.

That's a mental image I didn't need...

mfceiling

As long as they didn't follow through then it's all good....

padd b1975

Church or chapel, let it rattle.

spireland32

Reminded me of this... Talk to Joe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWgfkSoMHA0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Larianne

Anita Blow wrote: »

10/10 on the title, would read again

LOL at your name.

Larianne

I wouldn't be at all impressed if someone was that rude on a first date. Maybe if they'd told me they had some tummy problem that day I'd give them a pass, but otherwise its bad manners and I hate bad manners.

Larianne wrote: »

LOL at your name.

Well spotted!

TheBody

It would depend on how smelly it is.

minidazzler

Personally I don't fart in front of a girl until such time as I have had sex with her enough that she won't kick me out for it. I demand the same courtesy :pac:

Praetorian Saighdiuir

There's a girl in work that does it regularly. Thinks its it's hilarious and is "one of the lads". Dirty bastard.......just no like!

Fromthetrees

As one gets older you must always remember to never trust a fart, if you do than make sure you are at home alone. :cool:

BBDBB

Id let one go,

just to let her know I wasnt judgemental

minidazzler

Stealth Recce wrote: »

There's a girl in work that does it regularly. Thinks its it's hilarious and is "one of the lads". Dirty bastard.......just no like!

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Oh and as our literary genius James Joyce would say...

At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

yizorselves

Big difference between an accidental bum hiccup and a really forced one that you prepare the other party for. I've done it before by accident while laughing at one of my hilarious lines. Think it went unnoticed. Although one time when I was putting my jeans back on I bent over beside the bed and let one fly. I just said sorry and laughed, didnt see her again

Duggy747

Depends, we talking about a little "poof" or a full-on squelchy, scuttery brown rain fart?

Czarcasm

Whatever about her farting, I'm pretty sure she'd be less impressed that I was still giggling like an immature schoolboy still half an hour later after she dropped one!

This scene never gets old-

Praetorian Saighdiuir

minidazzler wrote: »

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Quite the opposite dude. She's actually one of the good ones!

Except anytime I see her now, I imagine her ass puckering like a deflating balloon......not cool!

minidazzler

Stealth Recce wrote: »

Quite the opposite dude. She's actually one of the good ones!

Except anytime I see her now, I imagine her ass puckering like a deflating balloon......not cool!

Since you missed my edit.... I really gotta make you feel a little sick today :pac:

James Joyce wrote this

At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Jesus mini!

minidazzler

Stealth Recce wrote: »

Jesus mini!

I know, gives me a bit of a chub TBH. His wife sounds good :pac:

It sounds like the good Mr. Joyce was an eproctophile.* Yuck.




*Eproctophilia = fart fetish.

solas111

Girl brings boyfriend home for the first time to meet her parents. They’re all sitting down to dinner when the b.f. lets off a fart. The old man kicks the dog under the table, saying: “Watch it dog”.

A couple of minutes later the b.f. farts a second time and the old man kicks the dog again, saying: “Watch it dog”.

The young guy farts a third time and the old man kicks the dog under the table, saying: “Watch it dog or the f….r will s..t on you”.

Larianne

There goes me pudding

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Larianne wrote: »

There goes me pudding

Yeah, I interpreted that in the context of the thread.

Cee-Jay-Cee

If it was accidental fart then I wouldn't mind but if she lifted her arse cheek and let one rip then end of date.

StormWarrior

minidazzler wrote: »

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Oh and as our literary genius James Joyce would say...

At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

I have seriously spent the last 10 minutes rolling around on my bed crying with laughter at this. My mum is banging on the door asking if I'm alright.


As for someone farting on a first date, I am attracted to funny people more than anything so if he was farting in a funny way it might be alright, as long as the farts didn't smell. The scent of someone's bowels isn't exactly an aphrodisiac.

ashers22

Experience suggests if they're unable to control their flatulence they probably suffer other digestive issues, could be symptoms of ibs or food intolerance or allergies and might be inclined to wander to the bathroom more than occasionally, leaving you twiddling your thumbs for long spells. Or worse, use your loo as their own personal log room and leave you clean up their skid marks on a daily basis. Probably best to avoid offering them coffee on that otherwise wonderful first date.

StormWarrior

minidazzler wrote: »

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Oh and as our literary genius James Joyce would say...

At every **** I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger **** than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

btw, what book is this from, and is the rest of the book as good as this?

shedweller

Once she didn't fart on my face then i'd be ok with it.

Son Of A Vidic

CJC999 wrote: »

If it was accidental fart then I wouldn't mind but if she lifted her arse cheek and let one rip then end of date.

The fact that her arse cheek is actually big enough to require lifting.Then that alone should ensure rapid termination of said date.

cassid

my mother in law was on medication once, farting was a side effect. Everytime she moved she farted, we just had to pretend we did not hear them as the poor woman was mortified

WindSock

Culleeo wrote: »

I would let them away with it if they farted, but if they started breathing, there is no way I would go on a second date with them :rolleyes:

Would a necrophiliac call it a 'date' though?

WindSock

Duggy747 wrote: »

Depends, we talking about a little "poof"

Elton John is married though?

WindSock

Ok...,enough!

Ihatecuddles-old

I went on a date a few months ago, nice guy, got along great...woke up the next morning, turned over to face him and did a fart!!!

Oh god I was mortified he didn't say anything. I just kept willing him to laugh or something. Awkward silence....
I very rarely do it, just my luck to pick that moment.

We went out a few more times and laughed about it.

Feelgood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qwEvLs6w28

Feelgood

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I went on a date a few months ago, nice guy, got along great...woke up the next morning, turned over to face him and did a fart!!!

Must have got on pretty damn well if you were in the bed beside him the following morning

You hate cuddles, just straight to the sex eh?

Barry Barry

dttq wrote: »

Lets say you are sitting down to dinner during a first date, and the person farted. Would this turn you off and make you not want to meet up for a second date, even if she/ he is attractive. Or would you just laugh it off to yourself quietly and get on with things.

You farted on a first date didn't you? Now your trying to figure out if there'll be a second date

Ihatecuddles-old

Feelgood wrote: »

Must have got on pretty damn well if you were in the bed beside him the following morning

You hate cuddles, just straight to the sex eh?

Yeah pretty much...was the best sex of my life too! And I had to go and fart!!

TheLastMohican

Perfectly acceptable. Just as long as she doesn't do it when eating the breakfast in the morning

nice_very

minidazzler wrote: »

But given your job, she probably is barely shagable at 2 am after a full day of drink :pac:

Oh and as our literary genius James Joyce would say...

fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole.

I hope ur happy I choked on me jeme and coke!!!!!!!