WTF??!!!? - The 'What The F*ck' Thread

CrazyRabbit

OK....this might 'win' this thread!
It's a playlist of 5 videos that you won't believe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d24QyaNMfnc&index=1&list=PLDbSvEZka6GHIDTka3XIzvjxVbG0y3ILa

LaVail

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMSz_3rCeXU

CrazyRabbit

Manassas City police accidentally trying to create their own child pornography in ‘sexting’ case

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2014/07/09/manassas-city-police-accidentally-trying-to-create-their-own-child-pornography-in-sexting-case/

(Hello, everyone who got to this piece by googling “child pornography.” I am afraid this is not quite what you had in mind.)
This story is completely insane: The Manassas City Police are reportedly trying to get nude, aroused pictures of a teenager to make sure that the Weiner Pics (patent pending — get on this, Anthony!) that they have match up to him.
My Post colleague Tom Jackman reports:

A Manassas City teenager accused of “sexting” a video to his girlfriend is now facing a search warrant in which Manassas City police and Prince William County prosecutors want to take a photo of his erect penis, possibly forcing the teen to become erect by taking him to a hospital and giving him an injection, the teen’s lawyers said. A Prince William County judge allowed the 17-year-old to leave the area without the warrant being served or the pictures being taken — yet.
….[The teen's defense lawyer, Jessica Harbeson] Foster said Detective Abbott told her that after obtaining photos of the teen’s erect penis he would “use special software to compare pictures of this penis to this penis. Who does this? It’s just crazy.”

Yup.
Isn’t that just always how it goes? In order to catch the monster, you must become a monster! You must fight sexts with sexts. (I would hate to see the Manassas City Police Department’s version of To Catch a Predator.) But how did this happen? Who suggested this? I can imagine everything about this except the part where someone says, “Okay, yes. This sounds like a good plan.” Maybe the guy in the office who usually shot things down was sick that day. Here’s my best effort at reconstructing what must have happened:

INT. MANASSAS CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT – AFTERNOON
Chief John enters. “Well,” he says, tugging at his suspenders. “This is a tough case.”
Everyone at the station nods.
“These sexts are proving hard nuts to crack,” Chief John adds. “We have these photos. And we have fingered the guy we think is behind it.”
“Wow. Phrasing,” says Dave.
“Dave,” John says. “If you’re going to be like that, you should leave the room.”
“Now, what we need to do,” Chief John goes on, “is prove he’s behind these sexually explicit images. And there’s only one way to do that. We need to take more sexually explicit images ourselves. Of him. To make sure it’s him.”
“Fight fire with fire,” Jerry says sententiously. “Like we did with that arsonist.”
“What?” Helen asks. (Helen is always a little behind on these things.) “Can’t you tell it’s him already?”
“Well, there’s variables,” Jerry says. “Some people are growers. Some people are showers. It depends.”
“Yes,” Chief John says. “Really it could be anybody’s. But until we take more pictures–”
“More pictures with the same, er, conditions.”
“Lighting?” Helen asks.
“Not lighting, Helen. We have a picture of — one thing, under certain conditions. We need a picture of that same thing, under the same conditions.” Jerry waggles his eyebrows. “You know, conditions. Conditions.”
“If he’s willing to cooperate, we’ll need to set the mood somehow,” Chief John says, running a hand through his hair. “What do seventeen year-olds find sexy nowadays?”
“I’m sorry,” Dave says. “Could we hold that thought for just a second? Does this seem weird to anybody else?”
“Weird?” Chief John asks. “What’s weird about it? We’re just taking a seventeen year-old in to the precinct and, um, stimulate him so we can take explicit photos of him. I would call that routine police work, myself.”
“We get it. We get it. We’ve all seen the Wire,” Jerry adds. (Jerry has not actually seen The Wire.)
“I wish I knew what were sexy,” Chief John says. “We need to stock up some of that. I’m going to Google ‘pictures’ and ‘horny illegal teenagers’ to see what pictures will help us with our police work.”
Dave begins inching toward the door. “We are all going to wind up on a watch list,” he says.
“I know!” Jerry says. “Let’s hire a prostitute!”
“That’s a great idea, Jerry!” Chief John says. “That will help us stomp out prostitution! We can hire her, then also arrest her! It will be like killing multiple birds using fewer stones than birds.”
“HOW ARE YOU EVEN POLICEMEN?” Dave asks.
“Maybe we could give him an injection,” Jerry says suddenly. “Instead of, you know, having to –”
“That’s an idea,” Chief John says. “But after that, there’s a problem. Will we be able to match the pictures up?”
No worries there,” Jerry says. “There’s a special software for exactly that purpose.”
Dave inches out the door and slips his resignation quietly under it.
There might be some other way it could have happened, but I can’t imagine it. I can barely believe it happened in the first place.

LaVail

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q-vJ_5_QVQ

stefan idiot jones

I never knew that this was an issue?

stefan idiot jones

stefan idiot jones

Not one single primate fcuk was given that day.

House of Blaze

THOSE DAMNED DIRTY APES!!

Sorry.. has to be done..

Here's one from me anyway. Great thread!

BaZmO*

House of Blaze wrote: »

Kilroy video...

BaZmO*

Joaquin Phoenix's Forehead (Rotated)

WTF?! and also very funny!

stefan idiot jones

I truly believe I've found a contender to win this thread.

Duff

That Joaquin Phoenix forehead thing looks like the aliens from Fire In The Sky.

Toots

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

I truly believe I've found a contender to win this thread.

[Fatboy Headbanging Fail]

What would possess someone to upload that on the internet?

bnt

There's a new YouTube channel called Memory Hole, which seems to be aiming for maximum WTF-ness. Sample:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vbI0H6otpA

SimonTemplar

stefan idiot jones

Nut Job. WTF????

mod snip

CrazyRabbit

This is a real product...

stefan idiot jones

Don't do drugs, kids!!!!

McChubbin

Sex Toy Stuck In Woman For 10 Years
(Not really NSFW as it's a simple news article but it made me wince all the same.)

Capt'n Midnight

e_e

House of Blaze wrote: »

THOSE DAMNED DIRTY APES!!

Sorry.. has to be done..

Here's one from me anyway. Great thread!

Ah Jam, amazing show and suitably WTF too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGex0kLgNok

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhBkC6B9I2U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJP4dr_mioA

DazMarz

One of the most demented things I've seen. I also was in stitches laughing at this, for some reason.

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-crknZmhqyM

stefan idiot jones

Free ponies for everyone.

ScrubsfanChris

House of Blaze

Not sure about the possibility of a happy ending here!

DazMarz

DazMarz wrote: »

One of the most demented things I've seen. I also was in stitches laughing at this, for some reason.

Enjoy!

YOUTUBE]Demented Chicken Nuggets Video[/YOUTUBE]

This guy has a whole series of them!!! :eek:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4S_OLQaiLU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XUKsyhrThg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfzk-h6M8j8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzAye96dcZg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ogyZS2jqmQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuSiyQKXK8A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi6SwgVwsP0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df3czYpbVqU

and there's his YouTube page:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkrl75Md3AaTKtHwJECX_Cw

I salute you, sir... the most fúcked up videos in a long time... without being overtly perverted or anything... just a lot of random sounds and mental behaviour.

Renegade Mechanic

Im just gonna leave this here...

DoozerT6

^^^^ That actually frightened me. Genuinely.

Calibos

DoozerT6 wrote: »

^^^^ That actually frightened me. Genuinely.

Probably caused by a residual childhood memory of this:

http://youtu.be/u1QIbENq66w?t=1m35s

Renegade Mechanic

DoozerT6 wrote: »

^^^^ That actually frightened me. Genuinely.

Im not afraid to say when I was sent a link last night/this morning, I was left rather uncomfortable after, myself