Favorite Expressions/Phrases

CillianL

I seen a thread a while ago about hate worthy expressions such as 'in fairness' etc

So I wondered has an opposite one ever been posted?
If not does anyone have any expressions that made them laugh out loud when they heard them?

Some of my favorites are

My uncle on describing immigrants he doesn't like:
'They wouldn't work to warm themselves!'

Another two from a friend of mine were:
'its as useful as a chocolate teapot'

On telling lies:
Jaysus you'd make Lance Armstrong look honest!

kfallon

On lazy people:
"If work was in bed he'd sleep on the floor!"

EdanHewittt

Some Buachaill

On describing anyone who rises above the average 'normal' behavior in any situation.

Irish alternative to "some boy", where 'Buachaill' means boy.

"Look at him with his six wives, he's some buachaill"

Source:

http://www.slang.ie/index.php?county=Dublin&entry=Some+Buachaill&letter=S

Best phrase, evaaaaaaaaaaar

reap-a-rat

On riding someone who's had a few kids - "tis like throwing a hot dog down a well"

mfceiling

He'd be behind you going through a revolving door and he'd still come out in front of you...

Giselle

Mad granny watching a poodle get sexy with the leg of the table: That dog would get up on a cracked saucer!

Max Power

On having a shit: Just going to drop off the kids to the pool.

brummytom

'A mouth as dry as Gandhi's flip-flop/a nun's cunt'

and

'He's some man for one man'

Setun

My favourite would probably be "give it to me straight, like a pear cider made from 100% pears."

juan.kerr

CillianL wrote: »

My uncle on describing immigrants he doesn't like:
'They wouldn't work to warm themselves!'

Ha ha. Funny because it's true.

Latchy

'' Now then '' ...( followed by a long pause )

SafeSurfer

I like

"Its a long road without some cnut flogging strawberries".

NegativeCreep

"You've a face like a bulldog lickin' piss off a nettle."
"Wouldn't get up on er to get over a wall."
"Face like a camel chewin' a wham bar."

3ndahalfof6

I would ate a mile of her shiite to see where she came from.

juan.kerr

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

I would ate a mile of her shiite to see where she came from.

I would ate a mile of her shiite to get near her.

Yakult

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Procrastastudy

Remember you have to get behind someone before stabbing them in the back.

Oscars Well.

I wouldn't ride her into battle!

Procrastastudy

two cans short of a six pack

kfallon

"She had a gee on her like a stab wound in a gorilla's back!"

juan.kerr

Oscars Well. wrote: »

I wouldn't ride her into battle!

Semtex wouldn't shift her.

She wouldn't get a dart in Tara Street.

Procrastastudy

I realise this may be heightening the tone beyond the normal knob jokes and toilet humour but:

'quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit'

Oscars Well.

juan.kerr wrote: »

Semtex wouldn't shift her.

She wouldn't get a dart in Tara Street.

She has a face like a melted welly :pac:

3ndahalfof6

juan.kerr wrote: »

I would ate a mile of her shiite to get near her.

We should share the challenge and let her pick, I will be taking my battery operated toothbrush with mint toothpaste.

1ZRed

Heard an old lad once say "Jaysus, 'tisn't rocket surgery!"

confuseddotcom

Ya couldn't bate it wit a shtick!

He'd be more use in a picture frame.

Are ya waitin' for another shade of green?!?

juan.kerr

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

We should share the challenge and let her pick, I will be taking my battery operated toothbrush with mint toothpaste.

Sure, I'll give you a hear start. She's not that hot anyway.

3ndahalfof6

juan.kerr wrote: »

Sure, I'll give you a hear start. She's not that hot anyway.

If she finds out your deaf, I think I will just walk the trail and say stupid things in such a way you will hear them as being intelligent and agree,

give me your hand (molly, that is what I would like her name to be if you have no objections).

Conchir

Hard at work, or hardly working?

Shryke

Swings and Roundabouts.

Apply it to anything, the more complex the more rewarding. It's a more versatile form of "That would be an ecumenical matter".

shooter69

A sniper wouldnt take her out ...

Duff

I'd ate the arse off a low flying duck.

I'd ate the back door buttered.

I'd rather shíte on me hands and clap.

She looks like her face was on fire and someone put it out with a fork.

I'd drag me balls through broken glass just to **** in her shadow.

I wouldn't ride her if she had pedals.

Max Power

Conchir wrote: »

Hard at work, or hardly working?

Workin' hard or hardly workin'?

Duff

Just realized my above post makes it sound like I'm arguing with myself.

Mountainsandh

who pissed in your cornflakes ?(preferably morning time, bad mood)

Chuck Stone

Fat ugly bitch not sexing her me.


Am I doing it right lads?

3ndahalfof6

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Fat ugly bitch not sexing her me.


Am I doing it right lads?

Shove in ist

The King of Moo

An oldie:

"God forgive me," when it comes hot on the heels of some particularly horrible piece of invective.
It's like a get-out-of-jail free card which nullifies what came immediately before it.

"Jaysus he's an awful c*nt an' I hope him an' all his family die horrible slow deaths from crotchrot an' the divil rides them sideways with his crookedy aul cock for all eternity, God forgive me!"

Sorcha16

Take it easy -and if you get it easy, take it twice!

Chuck Stone

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

Shove in ist

Fat uglyist bitch not sexing her me.

clappyhappy

He would get up on the crack of dawn.

As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

He is so mean he would peel an orange in his pocket.

He's not backwards about going forward.

He wouldn't give you the steam off his piss.

jluv

Aidan O Brien couldn't train ya!

TheStook

Take it Easy, but only in this accent. Say it once and you'll never stop

El Guapo!

If someone says that something seems ok.....
'Thats what the Christians said about the Colosseum...."It looks alright from the outside, lads"

naughtysmurf

As useful as tits on a hen (useless)

If he saw a pussy he'd probably put a plaster on it (inexperienced)

He was like a dog with two dicks (happy)

Omar82

I will in me ****e

mike65

OMNISHAMBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reloc8

CillianL wrote: »

On telling lies:
Jaysus you'd make Lance Armstrong look honest!

Begob but that's fierce good.

!

What if I left out the Jaysus now would I shtill be ok to say it ?

!!

I mean, is your man Armstrong some sort of dishonest fella is that it ?

!!!

coolhull

On ugly women: I wouldn't put a walking stick in there
I wouldn't ride her with yours

Putting a curse on something: The curse of the seven snotty orphans on it
The curse of the seven castles of Clonmines on it

On stuck-up people: I knew him when he had no arse in his pants
Tis far from champagne he was reared

S28382

An old friend of mine used to tell anyone who was pissing him off "to go fill a box of matches" and they way he said it was hilarious he also used to say if something wasnt straight "it was as crooked as a rams mickey" twas fair funny.:D



RIP Ned.

TheUsual

"Blueshirt bas***ds".

Well it's my favourite anyway.