Holding hands in Dublin

kodoherty93

Hi,
I just recently starting seeing a guy( I'm a guy and have never had a boyfriend before) and he is Brazilian. When we are in town he always always either wants to hold my hand or have his arm around me.

I have no problem with it but i have seen a few dirty looks and even a bunch of women move on the Luas over it.

Is that Irish aren't used to seeing two guys holding hands or white Irish guy holding hands with a dark south American. Do you any of you hold hands in public in Dublin as I rarely even see straight couples do it

toexpress

I frequently hold my BFs hand when we are in town! Even on the Northside!!

In fact on our first date we had a big Hollywood kiss thing outside the entrance to Jervis St. Car park ...

Goodshape

My boyfriend's a 'dark South American' too . Personally, within reason (your safety first etc.), I wouldn't worry about the looks you get. In my experience it's pretty rare! When it does happen, **** it -- it's their problem. You can't curtail your life to appease other people's prejudice.


The thing that I find much more common, actually, is passers-by with wide-eyes absolutely fixed on my better half -- like I said, dark skinned and not your typical masculine looking guy. Not quite malicious racism and hopefully nothing like it, but it is all the time. Bloody small, isolated, little country. It does annoy me (I think he's just used to it) but can't let it get you down too much. People just can't help themselves.

In either case I've never had anything more negative than looks and (occasional, and not necessarily bad-natured -- just unwanted) comment. I can live with that.

bikeman1

Whilst my bf and I don't always go around holding hands, it is something we have done. He however is still a bit secretive about being gay with his work job.

In the past I have kissed lads on the street, in straight bars and in restaurants, all with no major problems.

I remember being in Galway once and was sitting on Shop St with this guy from the club. An Irish lad came up to us and started talking. Both of us obviously looked straight to him and he said. It's disgusting all those gay people down there coming out of that gay club, kissing on the street. Not natural at all.

To that, myself and the guy I met started making out in front of him. The look of shock on his face was priceless!! I said what's not natural with that you homophobe and he was gone!!

baby and crumble

i've never noticed a problem holding my gf's hand in public in Dublin. occasionally people will look a bit longer but normally it's that kind of 'double take' thing, it's never nasty. And sometimes we'll get a smile- like an encouraging kind of smile from some people! And if the girl is much younger than us it'll be like a hopeful smile. I think it's very sweet.

floggg

I've never noticed anything myself, though I think on most occasions where I've been affectionate with a guy in public, I sensed he wasn't all that comfortable so backed off a bit.

Generally I wouldn't worry about it too much - though I would say to be conscious of your surroundings. Obviously somewhere dark and isolated late at night wouldn't be the best place to encounter a drunk homophobe when in the middle of a PDA, but on Grafton st in the middle of the day should be fine.

kodoherty93

Thanks everyone for the advice

jaffacakesyum

Have to say I'm surprised at the comments so far (in a good way!). I don't have a girlfriend and have never been in a 'proper' relationship but any girl I've been seeing if we've been holding hands or been affectionate in public (nothing over the top) I'd always get stares. Again, the majority not malicious (imo) but just curiosity more than anything I guess.

oisindoyle

kodoherty93 wrote: »

Hi,
I just recently starting seeing a guy( I'm a guy and have never had a boyfriend before) and he is Brazilian. When we are in town he always always either wants to hold my hand or have his arm around me.

I have no problem with it but i have seen a few dirty looks and even a bunch of women move on the Luas over it.

Is that Irish aren't used to seeing two guys holding hands or white Irish guy holding hands with a dark south American. Do you any of you hold hands in public in Dublin as I rarely even see straight couples do it

Nice to hear you have a BF .With regards to being affectionate in public ,do what YOU want to and if others give you "dirty looks" then that's there problem.

checkcheek

Tbh I always stare when I see two men/women holding hands or kissing. I don't do it to be mean. I actually think to myself how incredible it is. And I do be so happy that those two people are happy in themselves and don't give a crap what others think. The way life should be.

Plus I'm envious sometimes aswel. I kinda wish I was that comfortable in myself aswel.

MicraBoy

The amount of young lesbian couples around town holding hands is unreal. Not seen so much from the lads though.

corked

I never really had a problem with it when I was seeing a guy. If it feels right then just do it.

cartell_best

I will never forget someone I was with in the late 90's. It was the first time someone said to me (outside of my family and friends), that they loved me. To this day, I see it, and I swear to God lads, I still picture it. We were walking down Tramore strand and he said something to me, something that I didn't fully realise until it was kind of, too late. And do ye know what? I was still tryiing to understand what was going on with me. I never said it back to him or offered a hug, even though I felt probably more.

I'm not going to get into the nitty/gritty stuff, but to this day, I soo regret not saying what was on my mind and doing what I wanted to do. I'm at a stage now where I've realised soo much, and if I had my time over or had an opportunity to do what I should have done, believe me, I would have had absolutely no reservations or fear....hindsight is a great thing, isn't it? So? don't worry about anyone, except you and that very person you hold in that very moment in time...Life is too short

ninty9er

I think even straight couples feel awkward holding hands in public. Ireland isn't a PDA type of place, not malicious or anything, but just physically detached from our emotions outside of our personal space.

If it feels right for you, just do it.

floggg

ninty9er wrote: »

I think even straight couples feel awkward holding hands in public. Ireland isn't a PDA type of place, not malicious or anything, but just physically detached from our emotions outside of our personal space.

If it feels right for you, just do it.

Judging by the amount of breeders holding hands/eating the face off each other every day in Dublin, I would tend to disagree.

daenerysstormborn3

floggg wrote: »

Judging by the amount of breeders holding hands/eating the face off each other every day in Dublin, I would tend to disagree.

Breeders?

smcgiff

I don't think girls holding hands is as big a deal as two guys - shure, straight girls do it all the time.

I've only recently seen two guys holding hands, and i did double take (sorry), but only because it's so rare. The more common it becomes, the more acceptable it will become.

Oh, and I do feel a bit award sometimes holding my wife's hand, but I enjoy it, so fook the gawkers.

floggg

pixiebean22 wrote: »

Breeders?

Straight people. They breed.

daenerysstormborn3

floggg wrote: »

Straight people. They breed.

Lovely.

BanzaiBk

We hold hands in public a lot of the time. My gf is very stoic and claims the only reason for this is because I cant walk in a straight line unaided I think I could count the number of times I've seen guys hold hands in public on one hand. I did recently and have to admit I did a double take Sorry boys!

Annasopra

Several people have reported posts using the word breeder. It seems that posters don't like the term and find it offensive. It would be preferable if posters refrained from using it. As usual moderation should not be discussed on thread. Any problems send me a pm

floggg

All i will say was it was tongue and cheek and didn't mean to offend. Some of my best friends are straight.

1ZRed

floggg wrote: »

All i will say was it was tongue and cheek and didn't mean to offend. Some of my best friends are straight.

Typical sort of response from a heterophobe


"But sure, some of my best mates are straight" :rolleyes:

J_E

floggg wrote: »

All i will say was it was tongue and cheek and didn't mean to offend. Some of my best friends are straight.

It's not nice to name-call. Just as a lot of people here wouldn't like to be called fags, dykes, trannies, etc etc.

Annasopra

The discussion about terms is off topic. Please stay on topic.

jaffacakesyum

I really do wonder how some people survive every day yknow turning on their tv and leaving the house...hearing all these big bad words

deuve82

I´m still quite new in Dublin... The first month, when I was starting to know how the city was working (this process is not finished!) I said to myself: "I think I´ll never hold hands with a guy here" but in the last weeks I´m starting to see someone and we are kissing on the streets and holding hands sometimes, and no problems! Well, some looks from unknown people and a pair of honks, but I don´t give a s***. The only way to make "normal" a pair of guys/girls holding hands is doing it a lot of times, so that's our task

manic mailman

pixiebean22 wrote: »

Lovely.

This made me bark laughter so loud my dad thought I hurt myself.

NewsMeQuick

smcgiff wrote: »

I don't think girls holding hands is as big a deal as two guys - shure, straight girls do it all the time.

I've only recently seen two guys holding hands, and i did double take (sorry), but only because it's so rare. The more common it becomes, the more acceptable it will become.

Oh, and I do feel a bit award sometimes holding my wife's hand, but I enjoy it, so fook the gawkers.

That's pretty much my idea; there is a lot of innocent double-taking and unfortunately for those of us that are shy about public PDA, it takes people to do this for it to become more accepted.

As I say I'm not thrilled with public PDA myself. I'd love to hold hands a lot more and an odd peck, for sure. I see some of the braver types are happy to accept flying daggers but I don't. On a rare occasion, if I sense the environment is OK then maybe.

Also, whenever I've seen girls holding hands it gets little attention and only positive. With men, it's the opposite. People are such hpocrites and I think the popularisation of lesbianism is a main culprit.

Beruthiel

Goodshape wrote: »

The thing that I find much more common, actually, is passers-by with wide-eyes absolutely fixed on my better half -- like I said, dark skinned and not your typical masculine looking guy. Not quite malicious racism and hopefully nothing like it, but it is all the time.

I was recently in Japan on hols. The one thing that struck me was how people stared. I mean everyone, young and old, male, female.
Not for one second did I think racism, but rather, I looked so different from them and they just couldn't help but look at me.
Perhaps your b/f is exotic looking and people just can't help but look and appreciate the difference.
I know when I see someone hot, it's difficult not to stare.

As for holding hands, PDA's, the only way to make others accept, is if you keep doing it until they are used to it.

floggg

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

That's pretty much my idea; there is a lot of innocent double-taking and unfortunately for those of us that are shy about public PDA, it takes people to do this for it to become more accepted.

As I say I'm not thrilled with public PDA myself. I'd love to hold hands a lot more and an odd peck, for sure. I see some of the braver types are happy to accept flying daggers but I don't. On a rare occasion, if I sense the environment is OK then maybe.

Also, whenever I've seen girls holding hands it gets little attention and only positive. With men, it's the opposite. People are such hpocrites and I think the popularisation of lesbianism is a main culprit.

Be the change you want to see in the world!

I do it a lot, though my bf can get a bit uncomfortable at times. I'm generally fairly touchy feely (tactile was how one guy I was with once put it) so I kinda don't think about it most times.

**** it, there's not much really gonna happen to you most times other than a dirty look or comment, and sticks and stones and all that.

Obviously I'd be a bit more wary late at night when streets are quieter and drink has been taken.