What gives you peace in life?

Zillah

Death is a disease. All this complacency with oblivion disappoints me

I, for one, plan for my vitrified remains to be reanimated in a time of off-world colonies and seamless brain-to-machine interfaces.

If that fails then I'll never know the difference given the, by definition harmless, state of being dead, at least I'll have given it a shot.

I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying. I went through an "existential crisis" between the ages of about 19 and 22, which seems to be common, but I came out the other side with no fear of death. I think a fear of dying is entirely different, though; a fear of dying is a fear of pain and suffering, not concerned with the reality of being dead, but with the pain that dying potentially involves. I don't lose sleep over it, though, and it's certainly a fear lesser in severity than a fear of death itself.

What gives me peace? Lots of things. To name one, though: I live near a large national woodland on the shores of a lake, populated with deer and foxes and just about every other mammal native to Ireland. I love nothing more than walking through it for hours upon hours, especially on rainy days when there isn't another soul around and you have the entire forest to yourself. Wandering off-trail, getting lost in thick groves of ancient deciduous trees, and finding some hidden gem of a pond with a herd of deer resting by its shore, or perhaps a badger cleaning the surroundings of his sett, or a pair of squirrels playing with each other on some pine tree. There's nothing more peaceful than wandering around a forest devoid of humans, losing your sense of time and location (the forest isn't so large that you could get truly lost in it, at least not when you know it very well), and enjoying nature. A little hippy-ish, perhaps, but it's wonderfully peaceful, and in getting lost in the forest you lose any worries that you might have had too.

nagirrac

Figuring out that you can control your thoughts to at least a large extent. You don't have to dwell on thoughts or obsess on them, just say hello to them and then tell them to fcuk off. I am by no means advanced in meditation but I try and find 10 - 15 minutes every day to just sit and practice even something as simple as the above. Something else that helped me personally was realizing the limitations of the mind and stop trying to solve insolvable problems like thinking about life and death. If you think about it in terms of a mathematical paradox or the mind-body problem then you can accept there's just some things we cannot figure out given the limitations of our minds at present. I do believe there is a bigger reality than we are aware of and I think science is tantalizingly close to finding it. The thing that does interest me about death is if there is even the slightest possibility of meeting people again that I loved and are gone in whatever form and in whatever reality we don't understand, that appeals to me.

Supermensch

What gives me comfort about death is that once I'm dead I won't care. As much as anyone, I don't like the idea of not existing or being conscious. But once I'm dead neither of those things will bother me at all, simply because they can. I'm sure the last 10 minutes are pretty terrifying, but I plan on doing an Aldous Huxley, make the last moments of life spectacular.

recedite

The worst kind of death is when a young person dies slowly.
When an old person dies, they often fade out over a long period of time. By the time they die, they have lost so many faculties that they don't care to cling to life as much anyway.
Dying suddenly, you won't have time to care.
Once you are dead, you won't care, no matter how you died.
The odds are good, then.

magicbastarder

late sunday night, powers-infused addition:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf61K6ZKu_4

pbowenroe

gvn wrote: »

I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying. I went through an "existential crisis" between the ages of about 19 and 22, which seems to be common, but I came out the other side with no fear of death. I think a fear of dying is entirely different, though; a fear of dying is a fear of pain and suffering, not concerned with the reality of being dead, but with the pain that dying potentially involves. I don't lose sleep over it, though, and it's certainly a fear lesser in severity than a fear of death itself.

What gives me peace? Lots of things. To name one, though: I live near a large national woodland on the shores of a lake, populated with deer and foxes and just about every other mammal native to Ireland. I love nothing more than walking through it for hours upon hours, especially on rainy days when there isn't another soul around and you have the entire forest to yourself. Wandering off-trail, getting lost in thick groves of ancient deciduous trees, and finding some hidden gem of a pond with a herd of deer resting by its shore, or perhaps a badger cleaning the surroundings of his sett, or a pair of squirrels playing with each other on some pine tree. There's nothing more peaceful than wandering around a forest devoid of humans, losing your sense of time and location (the forest isn't so large that you could get truly lost in it, at least not when you know it very well), and enjoying nature. A little hippy-ish, perhaps, but it's wonderfully peaceful, and in getting lost in the forest you lose any worries that you might have had too.

My thoughts exactly. It's not the state of being dead I am afraid of, it's the fear of missing out on life. Having said that, it doesn't consume my life.

seamus

As gvn says, there is a distinction between a fear of the actual dying process, and a fear of ceasing to exist, I think people who don't have either sometimes conflate the two.

I'm not specifically afraid of the process of death. OK, there's a little primal fear there and there always will be (it keeps me from doing stupid things ), but in the end it may or may not be extraordinarily painful, and pain doesn't really worry me. Lying in a hospital bed with a failing heart, or falling off a cliff in a burning train wreck surrounded by rabid monkeys - either way it's going to be fleeting and painful, but not that scary once you realise that you're about to die.

It's the actual being dead bit that I don't want. Maybe "fear" is the wrong word. The best analogy I can come up with is of a child playing on their Playstation and their Mum comes in and tells them to switch it off, it's time to go to Granny's house. He doesn't fear Granny's house, he doesn't fear the journey to Granny's house, but he's so damn engrossed in the Playstation that he will kick and scream and bargain to be allowed stay there and play it.
That's me. Except that I know that I can only play the game once and when the Playstation is switched off, it's off forever. And I'm only on level 3 of a potentional 12 levels, and I'm bloody enjoying myself.
So I'm still kicking and screaming and upset that inevitably, the Playstation will be turned off and I'll be dragged to Granny's house.

I never really understand comments in these kinds of threads where someone basically says, "I can't wait for death, I'll get some peace." Maybe it's an outlook thing.

Anyway, what gives me peace is not worrying about stuff I have no control over. As a younger teenager I worried a lot, about practically everything. I had all kinds of superstitions about how I could or could not influence things (like winning the lotto) by thinking about them or by praying. Eventually I naturally realised that whether I worried or prayed or not, the outcome just happened and I had no control over it. I divide the universe into two sets:
1. Things I can reasonably influence
2. **** that happens

I don't worry about number 2's. And when **** does happen, I don't take it personally because I know that the universe is not a sentient being, it's just a series of causes and effects and when they affect me, that's just **** that happens.

Because I can remember what it was like to worry about everything, I can really appreciate the calmness and peace that comes with basically not giving a ****. I watch people who worry and agonise over things which they can't control and I feel really sorry for them. It's a horrible, scary place to be that constantly keeps your confidence and morale on the floor.

[-0-]

gvn - that sounds wonderful. It reminds of John Moriarty quite a bit. He loved nature and would get lost in the wilds of connemara, some times for days and he wouldn't come across a single soul. This is a wonderful way to find peace. It is pure escapism at it's finest and I find in order to not freak out about every day life I need to get lost like this on my own. There is a large lake near me and you can rent kayaks for 10 dollars an hour. I do this regularly and just get lost on the lake. I often bring my kindle and let the current take me wherever it desires while reading old classics. This brings me to books.

I don't care what you say, literature is man kinds best creation. Reading the words of people who have passed away is still an amazing concept to me. Since I moved to America, and since my wife moved to this part of America, we haven't made too many friends yet. This is bothering her at the moment but it doesn't bother me in the slightest because I have everything I need in life. I have an amazing wife, a very nicely paying job and a mountain of books.

While I am atheist, I love reading about mindfulness and enjoying the moment. This gives me peace when I am doing ridiculous mundane tasks like washing dishes. I recommend looking into it if you haven't done so.

Gbear

Although I initially dismissed this thread as silly, having actually read it, it's a cracker. Great replies from everybody.

I'm still struggling with the question myself but food and cooking are looking like a bit of an outlet and something that really allows me to just work away in a state of bliss.

It's something we all have to do so my philosophy is that you're better off enjoying it.

Shenshen

If I have to be honest, I never saw my mortality as something to fear. I have gone through periods of depression in my life, and if anything, the thought of eventual death (or possibly imminent death, occasionally) has always been calming and somehow reassuring to me.
The knowledge that one day, I will not exist any more has some innate beauty to it.

Sounds morbid, I know, but I cannot describe it any other way.

Shenshen

seamus wrote: »

It's the actual being dead bit that I don't want. Maybe "fear" is the wrong word. The best analogy I can come up with is of a child playing on their Playstation and their Mum comes in and tells them to switch it off, it's time to go to Granny's house. He doesn't fear Granny's house, he doesn't fear the journey to Granny's house, but he's so damn engrossed in the Playstation that he will kick and scream and bargain to be allowed stay there and play it.
That's me. Except that I know that I can only play the game once and when the Playstation is switched off, it's off forever. And I'm only on level 3 of a potentional 12 levels, and I'm bloody enjoying myself.
So I'm still kicking and screaming and upset that inevitably, the Playstation will be turned off and I'll be dragged to Granny's house.

I never really understand comments in these kinds of threads where someone basically says, "I can't wait for death, I'll get some peace." Maybe it's an outlook thing.

...

That's a brilliant analogy. I think I can maybe try and explain how people who say they can't wait for death feel : Imagine you're playing on your Playstation, but you're not really enjoying it. You don't like the game all that much, you don't seem to get what's going on, everything happens a little too fast and it's all a little too confusing. Not enough to make you give up and switch it off, but enough to make you wonder if you're wasting your time here. Only, you know this is the only game you'll get, and mom said as soon as you're done, we're going to granny's house, and you're not all that keen on that either.
So you keep trying, and hoping for the game to get better, or for you to get better at the game.
But you're not really all that into it.

Obliq

Shenshen wrote: »

That's a brilliant analogy. I think I can maybe try and explain how people who say they can't wait for death feel : Imagine you're playing on your Playstation, but you're not really enjoying it. You don't like the game all that much, you don't seem to get what's going on, everything happens a little too fast and it's all a little too confusing. Not enough to make you give up and switch it off, but enough to make you wonder if you're wasting your time here. Only, you know this is the only game you'll get, and mom said as soon as you're done, we're going to granny's house, and you're not all that keen on that either.
So you keep trying, and hoping for the game to get better, or for you to get better at the game.
But you're not really all that into it.

On that note, and your previous one - do you find any innate beauty in being such an individual? One who isn't fully into the game (as the fast paced, confusing thing called life that other people seem to get much more)? I enjoy feeling differently about this "game" these days than the majority of people. I think it gives me an edge that's truly mine!