Lying about age

nucker

Would you think that this is ok to lie about your age to get a date? I mean if adults lie to other adults

I have noticed that a lot of females lie about their age, especially dating site, so would you or have you lied about your age in order to get you SO/partner? If so, have you told them at a later time in your relationship with them that you lied about the age before dating them?

smash

I don't see the point in it, infact I find it pretty stupid.

py2006

It is kind of silly, as it will come out eventually.

Schism

I think it's a bad way to start any relationship. Sure, it'll get you started but at some stage you're going to have to divulge your real age.

Maybe some people wouldn't mind if you've already hit it off, maybe they'd laugh it off. Then maybe others would be wary that you started out by lying. It's your own call but you'd want to be prepared for the inevitable point when you have to tell them your real age.

Piliger

Women have been lying about their age for centuries. A couple of years here or there is meaningless. If you feel better 'adjusting' your age then do it. It's just a number and if someone moans about it afterward then they are way too superficial to be dating anyway.

Itwasntme.

Piliger wrote: »

Women have been lying about their age for centuries. A couple of years here or there is meaningless. If you feel better 'adjusting' your age then do it. It's just a number and if someone moans about it afterward then they are way too superficial to be dating anyway.

I don't know why but this ^^ made me laugh out loud. :pac::pac:

Galvasean

Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable starting a relationship based on lies.

sharper

Stepping back more generally I think someone that's lying to others about something is also lying to themselves. If they find growing old bothersome they're better to tackle that head on rather than try to work around it with self deception. "I'm growing old but that's ok" is far better than "Growing old is awful but at least I'm not old".

With regard to lying about age I think it has an unintended consequence people don't consider. You're far better off to be a young looking 35 than you are an old looking 30. People will say "Wow they look great at 35! They'll probably look great at 45 too!" versus "Wow that 30 year old looks much older, imagine what they'll be like at 40!".

Piliger wrote: »

Women have been lying about their age for centuries. A couple of years here or there is meaningless. If you feel better 'adjusting' your age then do it. It's just a number and if someone moans about it afterward then they are way too superficial to be dating anyway.

It's not the crime but the coverup. If I was lied to about someone's age I would have a problem with that regardless.

shopaholic01

I would see it as a sign of insecurity, but would also wonder what else they lied about. I imagine most of those who lie do so to appear younger?

nucker

Galvasean wrote: »

Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable starting a relationship based on lies.

It not as if I would cheat on them because some women are a tad fussy about the age thing

nucker

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I would see it as a sign of insecurity, but would also wonder what else they lied about. I imagine most of those who lie do so to appear younger?

But most men would date younger ladies rather than older women. I know that there are men who date older women

Oink

Don't say anything if you don't want to, instead of lying like a 12 year old. I'd find it pretty lame for an adult.

nucker

DavidBrady38 wrote: »

OP you have a serious issue here a pathetic one if that...

How on earth could u build the foundation of a relationship based on nothing but lies??

what happens when you book a holiday and she sees your passport?? and realises your 2 years away from the age you claim to be

What right does anyone have to see anyone's passport?

Oink wrote: »

Don't say anything if you don't want to, instead of lying like a 12 year old. I'd find it pretty lame for an adult.

That could be said for either parties if that is the case

Piliger

I find the holier than thou attitude of some here quite hilarious. People lie about ALL kinds of things, and the truth is EVERYONE lies about something from time to time. And to create the pretence that adjusting one's age by 2 or 3 years is some kind of serious thing or a guide to a person's deeper morality is past nonsense. What an astonishing level of judgementalism!
Insecure ? I have yet, in my 50+ years, encountered anyone who is not insecure about a LOT of things, and most commonly it is their age in some form or another.

shopaholic01

nucker wrote: »

But most men would date younger ladies rather than older women. I know that there are men who date older women

If the woman has lied about her age then the man only thinks he's dating a younger woman. That's fine for a short term relationship, but long term how do you maintain the lie?

saiint

shopaholic01 wrote: »

If the woman has lied about her age then the man only thinks he's dating a younger woman. That's fine for a short term relationship, but long term how do you maintain the lie?

i guess youd have to hope your wife crokes it first
other wise when she reads your gravestone (if yas do get married) shell know it was all a lie:pac:

stargazer 68

To be honest if I was dating someone and I found out he had lied about his age by a couple of years (48 instead of 50 say) I would think it was a bit sad. If it was a fair amount of years (48 instead of 58) thats out of order!

Boskowski

Jesus lads get over yourselves. You are taking life way too seriously.

Oh my god
Imagine she saw my passport and I'm actually 2 years older/younger than I said I was when I was drunk out of my mind 3 months ago.
Imagine

I mean for any honorable and steadfast woman that can only mean one thing!
Curtains. There and then. Immediately. The cheek of him. God knows what else...

Seriously?

Boskowski

DavidBrady38 wrote: »

ye who cares if there under age:rolleyes:

Ah well. I'm obviously (not so obvious, obviously) in an age group where 2 years more or less don't have any legal implications.

shopaholic01

DavidBrady38 wrote: »

ye who cares if there under age:rolleyes:

OP clearly stated it was an adult lying to another adult. That implies they are both over the age of consent.

LeeHoffmann

To be honest if I was dating someone and I found out he had lied about his age by a couple of years (48 instead of 50 say) I would think it was a bit sad. If it was a fair amount of years (48 instead of 58) thats out of order!

I think I´d just be perplexed. I don´t see any reason to lie about your age...I mean, if a person fancies you, they´ll still fancy you after you tell them your age...no?

Big Nasty

Dovies wrote: »

To be honest if I was dating someone and I found out he had lied about his age by a couple of years (48 instead of 50 say) I would think it was a bit sad. If it was a fair amount of years (48 instead of 58) thats out of order!

So 2 years is cool but 10 isn't?

What if he/she is 15 instead of 17?

One would be pretty fvckin' worried then wouldn't one?;)

Piliger

DavidBrady38 wrote: »

Sounds to me like you have gone insane..How can you justify lying to someone you will spend the last 10 years of your life with that is absolute tosh if i ever heard it..

How awkward would it be when they find out

and how pathetic would u be the keep the lie going

You have an astonishingly superficial attitude to age, it seems. So you would seriously be upset if you were 35 and dating a 32 year old lady who then tells you a few months later that she is actually 34 ?

How shallow !

Piliger

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

I think I´d just be perplexed. I don´t see any reason to lie about your age...I mean, if a person fancies you, they´ll still fancy you after you tell them your age...no?

Well it seems the 'age police' hereabouts would be appalled and shocked and outraged ...... Personally I cannot even remember the last time I ever asked or was interested in ascertaining someone's age ... it is such a superficial and irrelevant issue. A huge number of women religiously slash a year off their age once they reach 30 or 40, maybe even two ... I couldn't care less. I am interested in the person, not some irrelevant number on their passport or birth cert. And if a woman was telling me (though god knows when it would arise) that she was x, and then it turned out she was x+2 ....... I would find it mildly amusing ... I feel sorry for anyone who gets their knickers in a twist over it.

sharper

Boskowski wrote: »

Jesus lads get over yourselves. You are taking life way too seriously.

Piliger wrote: »

You have an astonishingly superficial attitude to age, it seems. So you would seriously be upset if you were 35 and dating a 32 year old lady who then tells you a few months later that she is actually 34 ?

How shallow !

I don't see how the "Who cares?" argument works.

The issue is not whether someone's age is important, it's whether them lying about it is. Honesty is extremely important to me and there are many fairly serious things I'll accept if someone is honest and upfront about it, many trivial issues I would reject someone for if they lied about.

I don't care at all if someone is 33 or 35. I care a lot of they told me one when the other was true.

I reject the idea that I'm shallow if I'm bothered by someone lying to me about their age. If they're honest to me about their age I don't care.

Piliger

MCMLXXV wrote: »

So 2 years is cool but 10 isn't?

What if he/she is 15 instead of 17?

One would be pretty fvckin' worried then wouldn't one?;)

Worried about being a pathetic school girl fancier ... yes indeed :rolleyes:

nucker

Piliger wrote: »

Worried about being a pathetic school girl fancier ... yes indeed :rolleyes:

Please do not come here to start insinuating about what other may or not fancy...the thread is about "would you lie about your age to get a date or go further into a relationship".


The one thing is that no one would complain about a lady lying about her age, just men....weird

Esoteric_

I don't see why you'd lie about your age. If you're going to start a relationship, the lie will come out eventually, and while you can pass it off at the start as 'Well I didn't know you too well, so it's not that big a deal,' if someone was still lying to me about their age 6 months into a relationship, I'd be pretty píssed off if I found out at that point, because there should be trust at that stage.

Personally, I don't feel any need to lie about my age. I'm young, and pass for younger, which admittedly does make some men in their 30s treat me like a child or have no interest in me because of how young I appear, but likewise, I wouldn't want to date someone that's that judgemental based on age anyway.

nucker

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I don't see why you'd lie about your age. If you're going to start a relationship, the lie will come out eventually, and while you can pass it off at the start as 'Well I didn't know you too well, so it's not that big a deal,' if someone was still lying to me about their age 6 months into a relationship, I'd be pretty píssed off if I found out at that point, because there should be trust at that stage.

Personally, I don't feel any need to lie about my age. I'm young, and pass for younger, which admittedly does make some men in their 30s treat me like a child or have no interest in me because of how young I appear, but likewise, I wouldn't want to date someone that's that judgemental based on age anyway.

Maybe some women do because they feel that a lot of men do like younger ladies.

Piliger

LyndaMcL wrote: »

I don't see why you'd lie about your age. If you're going to start a relationship, the lie will come out eventually, and while you can pass it off at the start as 'Well I didn't know you too well, so it's not that big a deal,' if someone was still lying to me about their age 6 months into a relationship, I'd be pretty píssed off if I found out at that point, because there should be trust at that stage.

Are you seriously saying that if you found your GF/BF was 2 years older or younger than they had said on day one .... that you would be upset ? Are you serious ??

Piliger

nucker wrote: »

Please do not come here to start insinuating about what other may or not fancy...the thread is about "would you lie about your age to get a date or go further into a relationship".

I made no such insinuation.

nucker

Piliger wrote: »

I made no such insinuation.

OK, fair enough

Schism

Piliger wrote: »

Are you seriously saying that if you found your GF/BF was 2 years older or younger than they had said on day one .... that you would be upset ? Are you serious ??

I doubt it's the fact that their age is different, I'd imagine it's more the fact they lied about it in the first place.

As LyndaMcL said, it could be passed off at the start due to insecurities but after a while if it doesn't come out you'd have to wonder what else they're hiding if they're still lying about something as simple as their age.

al28283

Galvasean wrote: »

Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable starting a relationship based on lies.

That implies the relationship is based on age.

nucker

It maybe "insecurities" but if someone really wanted to date someone, and the other person was fussy about the age thing, fair enough the person wanting a date shouldn't really bother about the person who is fussy about age, but we can't tell either what to do

Piliger

Schism wrote: »

I doubt it's the fact that their age is different, I'd imagine it's more the fact they lied about it in the first place.

As LyndaMcL said, it could be passed off at the start due to insecurities but after a while if it doesn't come out you'd have to wonder what else they're hiding if they're still lying about something as simple as their age.

Astonishing

jaffacakesyum

Piliger wrote: »

Astonishing

What is astonishing about wanting to be with someone who doesn't lie?

Also, why the hell would you bother lying about your age? Seems pretty immature to me

Esoteric_

Piliger wrote: »

Are you seriously saying that if you found your GF/BF was 2 years older or younger than they had said on day one .... that you would be upset ? Are you serious ??

Yes, because I don't like people lying to me.

If they can get away with one lie, what else could they be lying about? I believe in being honest and expect the same in return.

Schism

Piliger wrote: »

Astonishing

I'm not saying it'd be a deal breaker but I personally wouldn't be completely normal about it either.

If I was with a girl for 6 months and she decided to tell me that's she's 28 instead of 24, my first thought would be to ask why she bothered to lie about it in the first place.

It just makes no sense to me why someone would do it. If I liked her I'd still like her at either age.

CastorTroy

I'm 31. Born in 1981. I don't lie because I've no reason to. And if I did lie that would mean having to carry on the lie and risk getting caught out before you want.

Like imagine if I was 30 in a month's time and started seeing someone who I told I was 26. 30 being a milestone birthday will mean my parents would make a big deal of it at least which means getting a birthday card with 30 on it. This is another thing you would either have to hide or lie about. So really not worth it.

I do know a couple girls who haven't revealed their age to anyone we both know. I guess that's easier than lying.

nucker

To be honest it all depends on the person who is being lied too

Pembily

I would be p!ssed off if I found out they had lied to me. Yes age is but a number so why lie about it??

jackofalltrades

I wouldn't lie about my age to get a date or for any other reason. The only reason I would tolerate it is, if a lady lied about her age on a dating website then owned up to it on the first date.

Piliger wrote: »

So you would seriously be upset if you were 35 and dating a 32 year old lady who then tells you a few months later that she is actually 34 ?

On a simplistic level I'd be worried that she feels she has to lie to hide her insecurities.

On a more serious level if it was getting serious after a few months and living together/buying a place/kids was on the cards, I'd be fairly taken back if that eventual plan wait from soon to urgent due to the lady suddenly becoming 2 years older.

beks101

Piliger wrote: »

So you would seriously be upset if you were 35 and dating a 32 year old lady who then tells you a few months later that she is actually 34 ?

How shallow !

I don't think there's anything shallow about wanting to start a relationship on an honest note and expecting your potential partner to not try and conceal an ordinary part of themselves that you have a right to know about.

Personally it's not the actual age difference of a few years that would piss me off, but the fact that they were prepared to lie about something so trivial - what else will they lie about? It's that I wouldn't comtemplate misrepresenting myself to someone I was interested in, the thought just wouldn't enter my head, I'm not that kind of person - so I don't want to have a relationship with that kind of person.

iptba

Lying to me generally seems like too much hard work; one could end up lying to cover up the initial lie or all sorts of people may catch on to your lie (i.e. you end up being a liar and/or looking like a liar to more than one person). (It's a common theme in sitcoms I notice, but I can see how it can happen in real life).

I recall lying about one thing in my life*: that I had done a course in hypnosis (the books I had read said that the more proficient people think you are at it, the more likely it is to work); however, I was only in school at the time so it probably wasn't that believable. Hopefully most people forgot about it but I hate to lose people's trust in me. So my motto is to avoid lying.

* I may have lied more than that, but nothing immediately comes to mind and I try to avoid it. Also, probably on some matters of taste, I might have gone along with something e.g. does this look nice or whatever, but still try to not specifically lie. Probably some lies, of a sort, for young kid relatives.