Strangest things seen or heard in public toilets

areyawell

So today in college I went into the jacks to take a dump. Was taking a nice poo and Some dude in the cubical beside me was going at himself. When he started moaning at bit I said do ya mind! He then stopped and I left and said it to one of my class mates and we had a class outside where the jacks were. After a couple of mins this fairly heavy fella left the jacks with sweat pumping off him. Was quite disturbing.

patwicklow

Thats public schools for ye..

fasttalkerchat

Saw a girl sucking off 2 fellas at the same time. Alternating between the two.

1ZRed

A completely sloshed lad at the condom machine spending all his change on them until his wallet as empty and his pockets were full.

It was a feckin mirror I was looking into!

cruais

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget!

1ZRed

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Saw a girl sucking off 2 fellas at the same time. Alternating between the two.

Well it could've been 3 lads had you stopped being on the look and got in there! :P

im invisible

cruais wrote: »

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget!

he worked it out with a pencil

fasttalkerchat

1ZRed wrote: »

Well it could've been 3 lads had you stopped being on the look and got in there! :P

Thankfully I wasn't pissed enough to whip it out and have a go. She was good looking so might have done on another night ha

1ZRed

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Thankfully I wasn't pissed enough to whip it out and have a go. She was good looking so might have done on another night ha

It's thoughts like that made me miss out on a good threesome! Figured "ah sure, another night". Still waiting!

Where To

The flush.

B.A._Baracus

I can honestly say i've never seen or heard anything weird going on in the toilets. I havent lived? :pac: But! If you want to branch this thread out into seeing crazy things while taking a piss up an ally? ... then yeah. I got a weird story. lol.

About 4 years ago I was out in town. Was the end of the night so I decided to walk up Dame street to get a taxi home. But I was bursting. So went down the alleyway by that brogans bar. Faced the wall and started to unzip and looked around. See a bloke in a suit just standing there behind the bins about 20 feet away. Got that "WTF?" feeling lol (as in "right, not taking a piss here with that bloke just standing there" lol) So I zip up and turn around to walk back out ... But I notice a head pop up from the bins..... a dudes head.... yup. Mr well dressed man was getting a blowjob from another dude.

... i walked quickly away. lol.

vicwatson

areyawell wrote: »

So today in college I went into the jacks to take a dump. Was taking a nice poo and Some dude in the cubical beside me was going at himself. When he started moaning at bit I said do ya mind! He then stopped and I left and said it to one of my class mates and we had a class outside where the jacks were. After a couple of mins this fairly heavy fella left the jacks with sweat pumping off him. Was quite disturbing.

So....why did you start your sentence with, eh, so....?

cruais

That lane way is well known as the hook up place for guys when the gay bars empty out. Trust me, I have a lot of gay friends! Your lucky you didn't get propositioned!

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

I can honestly say i've never seen or heard anything weird going on in the toilets. I havent lived? :pac: But! If you want to branch this thread out into seeing crazy things while taking a piss up an ally? ... then yeah. I got a weird story. lol.

About 4 years ago I was out in town. Was the end of the night so I decided to walk up Dame street to get a taxi home. But I was bursting. So went down the alleyway by that brogans bar. Faced the wall and started to unzip and looked around. See a bloke in a suit just standing there behind the bins about 20 feet away. Got that "WTF?" feeling lol (as in "right, not taking a piss here with that bloke just standing there" lol) So I zip up and turn around to walk back out ... But I notice a head pop up from the bins..... a dudes head.... yup. Mr well dressed man was getting a blowjob from another dude.

... i walked quickly away. lol.

Wee Willy Harris

Not entirely public, but this abandoned house sat peculiarly alone amidst the tall grass on a stretch of wasteland and on entering the cubicle there was just yellowing retro porn cutouts absolutely plastered to the walls was completely smothered with em maybe several times over how I don't even and I sure as he'll hadn't seen porn yet back then.....

would have loved, to have stayed over n fapped for the evening but tore off before leatherface showed up or some sh!t.

marcsignal

areyawell wrote: »

So today in college I went into the jacks to take a dump. Was taking a nice poo and Some dude in the cubical beside me was going at himself. When he started moaning at bit I said do ya mind! He then stopped and I left and said it to one of my class mates and we had a class outside where the jacks were. After a couple of mins this fairly heavy fella left the jacks with sweat pumping off him. Was quite disturbing.

It'd be even more disturbing if it was a Ladies toilet :P

Overheal

School toilets are the reason I learned how to exercise superb bladder control.

U_Fig

Seen one of my lecturers walking out of a bathroom cubicle at our grad ball with one of the hottest girls from my class...Guy was like 50 something and she was like 22...legend

Strangest thing I thought I heard was a couple having sex in a cubicle. However just as I was washing my hands the door opened and what I really heard was some guy talking to his own penis!

I mean I couldn't even write down the dialogue here if I wanted to. It was just pure trash porno talk with himself. Use your imaginations, you know what I mean.

BizzyC

Not as bad as some, but in my building there's a Japanese bank who we share toilets with.

For some reason they find it completely acceptable to take phonecalls while pushing one out...
I hope to god I'm never on the other end of a phonecall like that.

gobnaitolunacy

'Is this where all the big knobs hang out?'

Sergeant

Needs FlutterinBantam.

CruelCoin

Written on the back of a cubicle door in my local:

"If black is beautiful, then i just sh*t a masterpiece"

I lol'ed

whitewave

overheard a group of girls in a nightclub bathroom one night

"put your tits back in and come on"

Not sure what was going on there

SiegHeilNosey

Was takin a shíte in the coolquay lodge outside ashbourne one evening after dinner there, and all of a sudden this fella climbs up on top of the cubicle wall and starts talking to me.

To say i felt vulnerable was an understatement, and it didnt help he was a stunt double for ur man i shot jr in father ted.

Having a ****e in the toilets in Brown Thomas, heard a guy in the next cubicle whistling "Ride of the Valkyries", cutting out peridocally to squeeze out what sounded like bits of metal pipe into the bowl.

sbsquarepants

At a concert in the rds a few years back there were 2 very hot girls pissing away happily side by side in the sinks of the mens toilet!

gobnaitolunacy

Gotta love how the wimmens think the gents are dirty and smelly, after a few drinks and a crowded jacks they got a God-given right to use the smelly boys toilets.

JohnMarston

Went into the jacks in college, there was 1 cubicle free. Went in and notices the lad to the left of me had his trousers and shirt draped over the side of my wall . You'd think he was changing but i could audibly discern otherwise

saintsaltynuts

In My Local on the back of the Jack's door was written.."Contact Rachel For Blow Jobs." That pis*es me off.She never answers her phone.

admiralofthefleet

about 4 years ago in a pub in harolds cross. there was a party on one saturday night for an 18th. the celebrant must have had 100 too many because he sprayed the walls in the gents with rusty piss. it was everywhere and smelled rancid
the poor lad was very apologetic and explained that he didnt usually drink 20+ pints of smithwicks on an empty stomach. he was mortified and everyone felt very sorry for him, he wasnt a typical rowdy teenager because we didnt usually take 18th's in the pub.
but seriously, i have never seen so much pony in my life. it was like an IRA dirty protest x100

D-FENS

Bam Bam Mickey wrote: »

Having a ****e in the toilets in Brown Thomas, heard a guy in the next cubicle whistling "Ride of the Valkyries", cutting out peridocally to squeeze out what sounded like bits of metal pipe into the bowl.

Was he also shouting "Yes,Yes,Yes!"?

suicide_circus

A lad i work with went to the jacks in a club for a piss and left the cubicle door open. This captain walks up, stands directly behind him and proceeds to spray the back of my collegues jeans with 2 gallons of sour piss.

swimming in a sea

I remember in school some boys were smoking in the toilet cubicle, I told the headmaster on them and this helped me become the most popular boy in school.

kylith

areyawell wrote: »

So today in college I went into the jacks to take a dump. Was taking a nice poo and Some dude in the cubical beside me was going at himself. When he started moaning at bit I said do ya mind! He then stopped and I left and said it to one of my class mates and we had a class outside where the jacks were. After a couple of mins this fairly heavy fella left the jacks with sweat pumping off him. Was quite disturbing.

The strangest thing that happened to you in a public toilet was someone having a dump? What a sheltered life you lead.

Theta

kylith wrote: »

The strangest thing that happened to you in a public toilet was someone having a dump? What a sheltered life you lead.

Maybe im wrong but normally "having a go at himself" means **** himself off.

kylith

Theta wrote: »

Maybe im wrong but normally "having a go at himself" means **** himself off.

Ah right. Moaning and sweating isn't unheard of after a particularly troublesome poo though.

kfallon

Somebody eating their lunch in the cubicle next to me! A guy who used to work in the same factory used to eat his lunch in the toilets every day. Kinda feel sorry for someone who is that socially introverted that they would not feel comfortable sitting in the canteen with the rest of the workforce.

kfallon

kfallon wrote: »

Somebody eating their lunch in the cubicle next to me! A guy who used to work in the same factory used to eat his lunch in the toilets every day. Kinda feel sorry for someone who is that socially introverted that they would not feel comfortable sitting in the canteen with the rest of the workforce.

Ronnie drew voice ** Ah Jaysus***

getzls

Was standing having a pee and this voice beside me said, you're a big boy.

Looked across and there was this drawf.

Boom boom.:pac:

kfallon

getzls wrote: »

Was standing having a pee and this voice beside me said, you're a big boy.

Looked across and there was this drawf.

Boom boom.:pac:

old hippy

kfallon wrote: »

Somebody eating their lunch in the cubicle next to me! A guy who used to work in the same factory used to eat his lunch in the toilets every day. Kinda feel sorry for someone who is that socially introverted that they would not feel comfortable sitting in the canteen with the rest of the workforce.

Yeah, get that here. People leaving coffee cups, crisp bags, sandwich wrappers.

And don't get me started on the fellas who don't wash their hands after using the facilities. Ugh.

suicide_circus

Once went into a public jacks and the seat wasn't covered in piss and there were no snot balls stuck to the wall. Never saw the likes, before or since.

sponge_bob

suicide_circus wrote: »

Once went into a public jacks and the seat wasn't covered in piss and there were no snot balls stuck to the wall. Never saw the likes, before or since.

Tis a strange one allright

kfallon

kfallon wrote: »

.

DeltaWhite

In a nightclub one night and 2 girls in the cubicle next to me start screaming at each other over who got to sleep with the lovely doorman that worked at the nightclub who by the way was a total CREEP

Girl 1: Yeah well he was flirting with me Trisha so I'm going back to his after
Girl 2: Here he was texting me so I dunno what you're talkin about
Girl 1: I'm tellin ya now ri you go near him and I SWAEAR TO GODDDDDD
Girl 2: Fcuk you ya slut I'll fcuk who I want....


More screaming and then the noise of them fighting...

Very embarrassing ha I was at the bar after and they were STILL fighting with each other, hair all over the place! Classy!!

aujopimur

cruais wrote: »

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget!

I thought he worked it out with a pencil.

Ciano35

Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shít and think,
Some come here to fondle their balls,
But I come here to write on the walls.

LuciusPax

I went into a public toilet once and when I entered one of the stalls there was one of those 'toilet guys' actually inside the cubicle.He didn't offer me any deodorant or aftershave he just stood there and stared at me.The only time he moved was to take the occasional picture.It was really really off putting and in many ways was the most uncomfortable ****e of my life.I hope that man got fired.

corktina

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Thankfully I wasn't pissed enough to whip it out and have a go. She was good looking so might have done on another night ha

what does it matter what she looks like?

kfallon

corktina wrote: »

what does it matter what she looks like?

http://www.metrolic.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/susan-boyle1.jpg

kfallon

kfallon wrote: »

http://www.metrolic.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/susan-boyle1.jpg

I dreamed a dream of gee gone by........