Man dates.

LegacyUser

I couldn't find any thread about this, so here goes..

Every so often, myself and one of the lads will go on something that can probably only be described as a man date. It could be to the cinema, bowling, dinner, pretty much anything depending on which friend it is and we always take turns with paying. We tend take the piss out of what it may seem like to other people by saying somewhat loudly"You look really hot tonight or calling eachother babe" and general shenanigans like holding hands but we do also talk about whatever is going on with eachother, y'know for emotional support coupled with a laugh (I was going to say coupled with a bit of craic but figured thats just asking for trouble).

To avoid confusion, none of us are gay, none of us have a problem with gay people, but if hilarity ensues (and it usually does), we also have no problem pretending to be gay. I'm not trying to start a thread on stereotypical gay behavior. I'm just wondering do any other guys do stuff like that?

The_Kew_Tour

If im honest I do it bit with my mates too. Now I have couple Gay friends and even with them I can take the piss, but sometimes few my Friends pretend they are Gay for laugh.

I do go for dinner with Mates from time to time although generally its between 4-6 people.

I say its little more common then people think.

cantdecide

I don't understand the question? That you pretend to be gay to make light of the fact that you go on a man date?

Personally, when I end up in these scenarios, I just shoot from the hip. If a mate is having difficulties, he can share and discuss and vice versa. I don't think there's any need for inverted butch behaviour.

Liam McPoyle

Unabashed wrote: »

I couldn't find any thread about this, so here goes..

Every so often, myself and one of the lads will go on something that can probably only be described as a man date. It could be to the cinema, bowling, dinner, pretty much anything depending on which friend it is and we always take turns with paying. We tend take the piss out of what it may seem like to other people by saying somewhat loudly"You look really hot tonight or calling eachother babe" and general shenanigans like holding hands but we do also talk about whatever is going on with eachother, y'know for emotional support coupled with a laugh (I was going to say coupled with a bit of craic but figured thats just asking for trouble).

To avoid confusion, none of us are gay, none of us have a problem with gay people, but if hilarity ensues (and it usually does), we also have no problem pretending to be gay. I'm not trying to start a thread on stereotypical gay behavior. I'm just wondering do any other guys do stuff like that?

Why do you feel the need to point that out?

Men can do things together that dont involve just going drinking you know.

Somnus

Necronos wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to point that out?

Men can do things together that dont involve just going drinking you know.

I agree, seems like you're a bit embarrased that the two of you hanging out might be seen as gay?

Nothing odd about it at all. I have a friend who I go to the cinema with loads. Means I'm not going alone if I want to see something and no one else does.

The other week myself and two of my roomates who are lads went out for dinner at TGIF. Just hanging out.

Wouldn't imagine it's that unusual really

adamski8

Looks just like the OP and his friends have some real insecurities.

Most mature grown men can go out to cinema etc with each other without getting the giggles, worring about what other people might think and having to resort to making light of gay people (albeit with themselves) so they can feel better about themselves.

Unabashed

Unabashed wrote: »

To avoid confusion, none of us are gay

Heaven forbid

rockclover1

I dont see the problem with them calling each other babe or anything like that,as long as they are enjoying themselves i think its light harmless fun..

Somnus

rockclover1 wrote: »

I dont see the problem with them calling each other babe or anything like that,as long as they are enjoying themselves i think its light harmless fun..

There's nothing wrong with having a laugh of course, but the way the OP phrased his post seemed to me like he feels awkward/embarrased or needs to check if this is 'normal' is all.

Panthro

I'd call that hanging out with my mates rather than man dates.
Its good to spend some time with your mates, away from the pints etc.
Did it the whole time with a mate of mine back in Galway. Was lovely to know I had someone to yap away to and vise versa bloke to bloke.
Nothing gay about hanging out with a mate, that's what they are there for!:)

juan.kerr

OP, do you bring your man bags on these dates?

Red Hand

juan.kerr wrote: »

OP, do you bring your man bags on these dates?

If they are men and not castrati, then yes.

OP sounds like a massive crush tbh.

krudler

so whats the difference between going to see a movie and sitting in a pub buying each other rounds? I go to the cinema or grab something to eat with mates all the time, do you honestly think people are sitting there thinking "two men? together? EATING? gaayyyy!"

krudler

krudler wrote: »

so whats the difference between going to see a movie and sitting in a pub buying each other rounds? I go to the cinema or grab something to eat with mates all the time, do you honestly think people are sitting there thinking "two men? together? EATING? gaayyyy!"

Depends on what they are eating...

krudler

bluewolf wrote: »

Depends on what they are eating...

cawk.

Galvasean

I go out with one male friend quite frequently. Oddly enough this rarely happens:


Like how when I go out with one female friend this happens:


Of course I prefer the term 'bro-date'. I still call them that when I'm out with a girl. No idea why.

CdeC

I am gay and I go out on man dates but usually dont hold hands as my straight mates might get a bit uncomortable. I love it though, grabbing a bit of grub and catching up. Harder to do when you get older.

One day on one of your man dates the gay pretense will go too far and you'll end up having pretend sweaty Mansex.

But just for a laugh and hilarity is bound to ensue the next morning : )

yawha

Wtf? You're just hanging out with a friend. What is with this pathological fear of being seen as gay that is so prevalent among certain guys?

Also, I can't for the life of me understand the "man-" or "bro-" prefix that seems to be attached to either traditionally feminine things when men do/use them, or activities guys do together. Why is this a thing?? It seems so insecure... (even when it's "just a joke")

Dravokivich

yawha wrote: »

Also, I can't for the life of me understand the "man-" or "bro-" prefix that seems to be attached to either traditionally feminine things when men do/use them, or activities guys do together. Why is this a thing?? It seems so insecure... (even when it's "just a joke")

Me neither, a while back my younger brother was going on about "bromance" and doing something "bromantic," so I asked him if he'd like to have a shower with me. He stopped doing so afterwards. :pac:

Galvasean

yawha wrote: »

Also, I can't for the life of me understand the "man-" or "bro-" prefix that seems to be attached to either traditionally feminine things when men do/use them, or activities guys do together. Why is this a thing??

Because it's like something from Futurama?

grames_bond

Galvasean wrote: »

I go out with one male friend quite frequently. Oddly enough this rarely happens:

But this does:



I don't like the notion of calling it "a man date" - it's just you hanging out with a mate! I do it regularly and I am certainly not in the minority here!

Dr Galen

OP

I know some of the lads here are giving you a bit of stick over the "pretending to be gay thing for the laughs", and it is a lil bit lame, but the most important part of what you are saying here is that you and your mates, go out, chew the fat and talk about your issues, problems, the bad and the good.

Far too many fcuking men don't engage in any sort of decent support network behaviour. We all know what that can lead to as well. So I say hats off fella, keep doing it. If the whole mock gay thing is required to make sure people get involved or go along with it, then fine, keep doing the big fcuking important thing - i.e. talking about stuff

annoyed_grunt

Hey OP,

I agree with the previous, myself and a buddy of mine do the man date thing too. Cinema, pub, grab lunch the odd time, don't see any issue with it. We get a slagging bout it from people but just laugh bout it. In the past few months I went through a bit of a rough patch with work and such and it was great to have someone I could chat to.

So in response to your original question yes other lads do the 'man date' thing, nothing weird bout it.

the_syco

Necronos wrote: »

Why do you feel the need to point that out?

I'm thinking the people in his area have that mindset, and he doesn't know if hanging with a mate is the done thing or not. It'd be mainly the little tard that is friends with someone else, but should you and a mate exclude him from an activity he wants to join you, he'd call you gay, "forcing" you to ask him to join you. Seen it happen in groups of teenager males when I was growing up.

OP; chilling with a mate is fine. Don't call them dates, though, as that would sound a bit gay if heard by someone with a narrow mind, in the wrong context. Heck, if I'm chilling with my mates, I call it going to the pub, cinema, snooker hall, etc.

mackg

Do this sort of thing the whole time never thought there was anything weird about it. I spend a lot of time hanging out with my friends and tbh getting out and doing stuff is infinitely preferable to sitting in watching T.V. or whatever.

As far as the gay thing goes if you and your mate do it because you feel a bit uncomfortable then there really is no need. If you do it because you think it's funny then knock yourselves out as far as I'm concerned.

dr gonzo

Yeh its all been said but seriously, as Bluewolf says, the only thing that would be weird is if you thought lads could only hang out as a group in a bar setting or something.

As for myself I have one friend who I've known for years. We both can be a bit geeky when it comes to films and xbox etc so we regularly hang out, have a laugh, play video games, catch films or whatever. My gf gets a giggle out of it sometimes but it has to be done!

Then another mate of mine is indispensable for advice. Every once in a while sh1t comes up and I grab a beer with him or whatever and catch up.


Theres nothing weird about being comfortable with your friends, in fact it might even be said that thats the point. If youre not gay then stop taking the mickey and just be comfortable. Dr Galen is right, its important to discuss things in life with your friends beyond the cliche rubbish.

Pyr0

It's only gay if your balls touch.

In all seriousness though. There's nothing wrong with two blokes heading out for food or going to the cinema together.

I love man dates - they can be so much fun when you meet up with a friend and go for tea, for food, the cinema, or whatever else. Recently enough a friend and I were in a place getting french toast and ordered three portions. When the waitress figured out that there wasn't a third person and we were actually splitting them between us, she remarked about how cute we were. Both of us laughed and absolutely demolished our food, which was delicious (if you want to get french toast in Galway, Kelly's is, by far, the best place that does it).

Point is, if you enjoy the other person's company, then there's nothing wrong with it and it's purely down to whatever insecurities you (or both) might have.

grames_bond

Deleted User wrote: »

Point is, if you enjoy the other person's company, then there's nothing wrong with it and it's purely down to whatever insecurities you (or both) might have.

This! A million times this!!

Recently I went on what would stereotypically be known as a traditional date with a male mate of mine - aka movie followed by dinner and drinks (ok the dinner was a basket of chips and sausages but it still counts damnit!). great time - There is nothing weird about meeting up with a group of friends and heading out - so why would there be an issue if it was just one friend?

The "pretending to be gay" thing is a bit OTT - not needed and in my opinion - not something you should have to do - or feel like you have to do! You are out with a mate! simple!

grames_bond

grames_bond wrote: »

The "pretending to be gay" thing is a bit OTT - not needed and in my opinion - not something you should have to do - or feel like you have to do! You are out with a mate! simple!

I found that really weird as well - when I go for tea, the cinema, food, or simply just meet up to talk if either of us have problems, with my male friends, I would never even think about it being gay, or whatever.

Why would it?

Mr Simpson

There's nothing weird about it at all. I'm not sure about the whole pretending to be gay thing, but hey, each to their own. I'd regularly go out with a mate, whether it be for a walk, a pint, grabbing something to eat.

I'll be completely honest, doing stuff like this got me through some very dark times I was having last year. When my mother died last year, I kind of felt I couldn't really show my emotions around my family, silly I know, but I felt they were finding it hard enough without trying to look out for me. If I hadn't had a few good mates around me that I could unload on, I really don't know what the outcome would have been for me.

My rather long winded point is, use any opportunity you can get to talk (or listen), and these kind of social situations can be exactly the right time and place to do it.

ongarboy

I would think any guys who are fully comfortable with and confident of their masculinity would have no problems heading out for dinner or other "perceived as date" like activities with another guy and not feel the need to be awkward about it or try and over-compensate or disguise/parody it with exaggerated or put on gayness. The discomfort would appear to be something evident in guys who are not fully confident in themselves, imo.

Naos

I'm lost.

Since when has hanging out with a mate been considered a man date?

AwaitYourReply

It's just thinking out loud - Let's all calm down cos Life is too short to be worrying about what other folk might rightly or wrongly read-into a situation or scenario. Guys should be allowed meet in 2s or 3s etc; in their Leisure time whether each or all the Guys in question happen to be STRAIGHT/GAY/BI or whatever. We should learn to respect difference - If only this was Utopia!!

Annasopra

Don't understand all this silliness about pretending to be gay at all.

Barna77

Because of work and stuff I only get the chance to catch up with my mates on weekends, so usually a bunch of us would go to get some food and then head to the pub or anyhting.

Few years ago, friend of mine, kiwi girl, joined us to have some food as she was waiting in town to get the bus back home. Later on I found out from another friend that she thought that meeting my friends to eat was pretty weird. Had it been to go on the lash, it would have been fine for her.... whaa?

Actually that's what I'm doing later. So honestly i don't get the fuss...

ursula_max

Hey there, there isn t anything wrong with your evenings in company of lads..I find it cute to see two males in restaurant involved in interesting chat, you boys will always get attention of girls..we do spot you! and yes we will question ourselves about your orientation hoping you are straight ..girls like their gossips and if you just like to get our attention that way ...keep going out for "male dates" ! those are cool to watch..even better to join

designbydan

So you go out on a 'Man Date' with your mate, a group of girls (like the example just given above this post) are out having a meal too, and are clearly looking over at you and whispering away to each other.

You spot this, so decide to hold your mates hand in order to 'fool everyone' into thinking you're gay.

You get a laugh out of this (fair nuff) but end up going home alone. . . .

Maybe you should stop holding your mates hand and buy the table of girls a drink or something.

Theres no need to feel ashamed for hanging out with a mate, be it for drinks or cinema, food , or whatever.

Joking around with innuendo is one thing, being worried that everyone thinks your gay because you're eating food with a man with no women around. . . thats something different all together

designbydan

I'll be honest I saw the 'man date' thread and thought it was a thread for lads looking to meet up for a drink/hang out with/generally make new/more mates.

I figured "Meh, can never have too many friends, I'll give it a look" lol .