Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Big Fat Positive and terrfied!

Options
2»

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    Ellsbells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 985 ✭✭✭Ellsbells


    It does exist as a foetus which turns into an embryo and then a newborn, infant, toddler, child, teenager, man or woman and into the likes of you or I.... I'm very glad my mother didn't consider me just a few disposable cells when she was pregnant...

    Op it is what you consider it to be and your bf is being very unfair.


  • Options
    #33
    estar
    Registered Users Posts: 801 ✭✭✭estar


    we are not going to solve the ball of cells versus baby argument here. the thing about having a baby is that for men, the baby isnt inside you. you dont feel the changes going on - a baby doesnt exist only in your imagination, there are chemical changes in your body attaching you to the ball of cells, changing your mind and body etc so even early on its quite an emotional experience

    its very important that OP you speak to someone objective and also secondly someone who is supportive of you from your family and friends. that way you wont look back on a decision, and say - if only I had had more support things would be different

    its a big shock to him and in such times things are said and done that maybe shouldnt be - as in he is putting a lot of emotional pressure on you - do what i want or its over.

    he is older than you are -


  • Options
    #34
    GuestUser2012
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭GuestUser2012


    Hello and thank you to everyone who replied.

    Just as an update: I've decided to keep the baby, and he's finally accepted that its happening. He has been trying to get friendly with me but not for the sake of our relationship - he's worried what people in the office will think of him when they find out.

    I'm treating him with complete indifference now and I'm moving on. When the baby comes, I really hope we can work together but right now I don't trust him anymore or his motives. The woman he cheated on me with previously is still hanging around and this just made me realise that time and time again this man is just going to keep disappointing me.

    I'm closing off emotional ties, focusing on my job and planning for the baby. I've been an emotional firecracker lately and it has to stop. For me and for the babies sake.

    To wrap up - to hell with him. If I can't rely on him now then I never will be able to and its a lucky escape.

    It might suprise some of you to learn that I'm actually 26 and I had told my family. Despite what some of you have said about infatuation - I really did love him. I'm not saying it was a healthy love but love and kindness is all I ever showed him. He rewarded me by treating me like a common alley cat - between the cheating, begging me to take him back, and then this.

    As for the ball of cells arguement - men simply CANNOT understand what it is like to have a baby inside you. Its wrong to say that science is the only reason that I know its there at all - you're wrong. Something prompted me into taking that test. For a week I got very ill. Fatigued, sick, dizzy. I was diagnosed with a reaction to tablets but apparently I had concieved early in that week and the doctor had no doubt that I was experiencing symptoms because my body recognised immediately that there were changes going on. It is rare but it does happen and it did happen to me. The sex dreams and sore breasts were a big giveaway too.
    I just decided to wait for my period to show up instead of freaking myself out.

    Those people who responded, your comments helped me in making the decision I have today and although I'm still hurting day to day, I'm now looking forward to dealing with the 'ball of cells' every day for the rest of my life.

    Thank you all!


  • Options
    #35
    GuestUser2012
    Registered Users Posts: 7 ✭GuestUser2012


    Estar - you're right. I'm 26 this man is 32. When he was 17 he and his gf found out she was pregnant.
    She aborted and that was OK for her. For me I do not believe in abortion being a means of contraception and I told him so.


  • Options
    #36
    Ellsbells
    Closed Accounts Posts: 985 ✭✭✭Ellsbells


    Well done op on making such a firm decision. You seem to have him sussed.

    Congrats on the pregnancy and see you over on the parenting forum :)


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    GuestUser2012 wrote: »
    Estar - you're right. I'm 26 this man is 32. When he was 17 he and his gf found out she was pregnant.
    She aborted and that was OK for her. For me I do not believe in abortion being a means of contraception and I told him so.
    Good luck with your decision. It doesn't change anything but I thought your ex is 25 max. His reaction was extremely immature for somebody who is 32.


  • Options
    #38
    irishgirl19
    Registered Users Posts: 1,609 ✭✭✭irishgirl19


    Best of luck OP. I hope you Will be very happy and your baby Will make this all worthwhile :-)


  • Options
    #39
    Lantus
    Registered Users Posts: 3,027 ✭✭✭Lantus


    As a 37yr old dad to the most amazing little boy in the world I often think back to my live before and how I was adamant and outspoken about not just how I didnt want kids but how much I didnt like them. grubby little nuisances I said.

    time changes your perspective on everything. If I could of had kids before now I wish I could of to an extent.

    How does this help you?

    Men can be ****s when it comes to having kids. We love our xboxes, sport and freedom. We dont really imagine beyond what we have now.

    A career is a transient thing. For the first 20 years of your life you didn't really have one and for the last 30 years you'll be retired. Thats over half of your life when you wont be working yet people lett it dominate a decision like this. Its all about being caught up in the importance of a job. When I 'had' a job I worked 60 hours a week and put my life on hold. That company has now gone and to think I sacrificed something as important as a family because I got caught up in the economic hype is quite shameful.

    Today its Ipods and carrer and getting out and living the life and being everything that the company wants you to be; but tomorrow its just you and your loved ones and what really matters.

    Your both names on a spreadsheet that can be deleted in a second.

    Do your best to determine what you want. Take some time and if your gut says then thats the best thing for you at this time. When you have that worked out then you need to inform your love of your decision. Everything else is incidental.

    read more later posts. Best of luck with everything. you wont regret it except for losing a lifetimes sleep and sanity. Worth it for that smile though ;) you'll know soon....


  • Options
    #40
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    GuestUser2012 wrote: »
    Those people who responded, your comments helped me in making the decision I have today and although I'm still hurting day to day, I'm now looking forward to dealing with the 'ball of cells' every day for the rest of my life.

    Thank you all!

    As you don't require advice on the issue you posted about any more, I'll lock this thread.

    Boards has a Parenting Forum, which includes a pregnancy and a babies forum which you might find a useful read.

    All the very best OP. :cool:


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement