Need help, want to travel, money an issue.

snakey1989

hello.

So il give you a breakdown of my situation.

Im 23 and did my LC as I turned 18. My results were not spectacular as I had no interest in the LC but did it anyway and passed everything.

Since finishing school I held a job as a salesman in a restaurant. While switching from one job to another, I ended up being let go from my new job and have been unemployed since.

I had attempted to go to college and even started a course in sound engineering but couldnt finish it due to relationship problems. So I dont have a degree or diploma of any form.


What I really want to do is work abroad and then attend college at some point. Im also aware its rather costly. I have Canada or the USA in mind, preferably the USA.

Money is a problem however. Lets face it the dole is barely survivable at the moment and from what I heard they could be cutting it yet again to make matters worse, though im unaware if this is true or not.



Is anyone aware at all of any programs or schemes or something that doesnt cost an arm and a leg but could evidently help me out.

I could cover the cost of the flight and the Visa and even scrape some money together(not alot) to settle in.


I actually need help. In a complete ball.

Mr. Loverman

Create a fake degree. Teach English in China.

100% you will get a well paid job.

I know this is unethical but neither the school, students or goverment actually give a damn. It is just make believe Chinese regulations. When you get here you will realise everything is fake - alcohol, food, regulations, laws, relationships. Really, faking stuff in China is totally normal and acceptable.

I live in China.

Mr. Loverman

By the way, normally I would have a big issue with people faking qualifications or experience, but in China it is not a problem. Basically it is a very different culture.

I would not recommend someone fakes stuff for a job in Ireland.

snakey1989

Well, Dont know about faking a Cert. Im not saying I dont know how to do it, i do, its easy.

However for arguements sake. Lets say I created a fake Teaching Cert and got money together, got flights organized and my Visa Sorted and saved money together. Im not afraid to take a risk but if all that backfired if I arrived in China, what would I do then, id go home empty handed even more depressed then I was to begin with.

Mr. Loverman

You will be offered a job before you leave for China. They will pay for your accommodation and flights.

Have a look at the adverts on thebeijinger.com for an example of how many teaching vacancies there are in Beijing...

snakey1989

Okay fair enough your dead right about the amount of jobs going. I mean bloody hell lol.

Im not however fond of faking a Cert. I dont fancy getting done for fraud lol

Mr. Loverman

Then it's not for you.

100% without a doubt you would not get "caught". Even if you were caught (impossible) no one would care. Worst case scenario the school would give the police some money. You have to understand China and Ireland have totally different cultures. I mean really really really different. Really really really really different. I can't stress this enough.

For example, it's normal here for drivers to kill people they have knocked over. It's cheaper than paying for their medical bills. Really, things here are very different...

I am a straight up guy, very law abiding. I despise Ireland's scumbag culture, Ireland's "ah sure you'll be grand" culture. But I accept China and Ireland are different.

The only important requirement when it comes to teaching English in China is being white. Everything else can be solved with money or in your case a little bit of dishonesty.

Qualitymark

What about doing some volunteering with VSO or EIL or Comhlach or one of those organisations? What about taking skills packages to City & Guilds levels and then a teaching qualification, so you can teach, say, electricianship or plumbing or carpentry either in Ireland or abroad?

snakey1989

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

Then it's not for you.

100% without a doubt you would not get "caught". Even if you were caught (impossible) no one would care. Worst case scenario the school would give the police some money. You have to understand China and Ireland have totally different cultures. I mean really really really different. Really really really really different. I can't stress this enough.

For example, it's normal here for drivers to kill people they have knocked over. It's cheaper than paying for their medical bills. Really, things here are very different...

I am a straight up guy, very law abiding. I despise Ireland's scumbag culture, Ireland's "ah sure you'll be grand" culture. But I accept China and Ireland are different.

The only important requirement when it comes to teaching English in China is being white. Everything else can be solved with money or in your case a little bit of dishonesty.

Actualy now that you mention it, i did see a few videos about the whole people being killed and getting ignored by everyone else.

Il give it some thought, thanks for your advice. Dont suppose you know how much a person would pay for a flight to china?

What about doing some volunteering with VSO or EIL or Comhlach or one of those organisations? What about taking skills packages to City & Guilds levels and then a teaching qualification, so you can teach, say, electricianship or plumbing or carpentry either in Ireland or abroad?

Honestly I have thought about taking up an apprenticeship but I would honestly have to do it abroad. Id love to do it in the US but quite frankly I wouldnt know where to start.

snakey1989

btw, i have looked into volunterring but even thats expensive. Unless theres some form of it where you earn your keep, so to speak.

ANXIOUS

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

By the way, normally I would have a big issue with people faking qualifications or experience, but in China it is not a problem. Basically it is a very different culture.

I would not recommend someone fakes stuff for a job in Ireland.

Can you pm me the site you used?

Mr. Loverman

snakey1989 wrote: »

Dont suppose you know how much a person would pay for a flight to china?

It's in the 800 - 1000 area. Expensive. But you can get the school to pay for it.

Keep in mind the average beginner teacher in a big city (e.g. Beijing) gets around 12,000 yuan for about 90 hours work a month. Even by Irish standards that's pretty good...

You can live comfortably on 12,000 yuan per month.

ANXIOUS wrote: »

Can you pm me the site you used?

I'm not an English teacher in China... I'm sort of a bum, haha.

But have a look at things like thebeijinger.com and eslcafe.com for leads.

snakey1989

I see. If you dont mind the asking, where do you hail from, Mr. Loverman?

Mr. Loverman

snakey1989 wrote: »

I see. If you dont mind the asking, where do you hail from, Mr. Loverman?

Blackrock in Dublin.

snakey1989

Ahh nice one. Oh ya Im curios. To get them to pay for the flight, do I say it outright cheekily or,..? what would you recommend as you know the culture, i dont.

djk1000

Forget the USA, it's pretty much locked down these days unless you have at least a degree and an employer willing to sponsor you. My advice, look at the back to education allowance and get on a course you'll enjoy.

Mr. Loverman

If you are in Ireland they will offer to pay for your flight. They will also offer a return flight.

They will offer to pay for your accommodation. I would recommend you do not take them up on the accommodation offer, and instead get a higher salary and arrange your own accommodation. The freedom (i.e. you are not reliant on your employer for the roof over your head) is worth the extra hassle of getting your own place.

Pick a big city and everything will be fairly easy. In Beijing I use a website called sherpa.com.cn to deliver food to my apartment every day. Easy and healthy.

Smaller cities will mean you are a celebrity, but Chinese women will be throwing themselves at you wherever you choose to go... It's funny, in Europe having white skin and reddish hair are a bad thing; in China it means you are the most exotic guy they have ever seen.

snakey1989

djk1000 wrote: »

Forget the USA, it's pretty much locked down these days unless you have at least a degree and an employer willing to sponsor you. My advice, look at the back to education allowance and get on a course you'll enjoy.

well quite frankly my LC results were pretty bad even though I passed everything. Although I turned 23 this year you have to be 23 at the start of the year to qualify as a mature student. bening unemployed for so long id also qualify for Back to education allowance.

That being said, I'd really like to get the hell out of this country.

snakey1989

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

If you are in Ireland they will offer to pay for your flight. They will also offer a return flight.

They will offer to pay for your accommodation. I would recommend you do not take them up on the accommodation offer, and instead get a higher salary and arrange your own accommodation. The freedom (i.e. you are not reliant on your employer for the roof over your head) is worth the extra hassle of getting your own place.

Pick a big city and everything will be fairly easy. In Beijing I use a website called sherpa.com.cn to deliver food to my apartment every day. Easy and healthy.

Smaller cities will mean you are a celebrity, but Chinese women will be throwing themselves at you wherever you choose to go... It's funny, in Europe having white skin and reddish hair are a bad thing; in China it means you are the most exotic guy they have ever seen.

Thanks for the info. Well i have a fascination with Japan and as it turns out Chinese women are much like the Japanese.

Thank you for all the advice, greatly appreciated.

Actually now that you mention the accomodation. I remember a friend of a friend, actully from china or vietnam or some asian country. came and worked in galway city. His landlord was also his employer. Long story short the landlord was making him work for feck all and charging him a hell of a lot of rent. I dont plan on making that mistake.


So if lets say I was to go to china and take up a teaching job. How much per say would you advise a person bring to get settled?

Mr. Loverman

Well there is also a demand for English teachers in Japan, but Japan is a proper modern, civilised country so I wouldn't try the fake degree thing there. But it would probably work there too... :pac:

snakey1989 wrote: »

How much per say would you advise a person bring to get settled?

You can live as cheaply or as decadently as you want in China. If you are happy to eat and drink like a local, you will spend hardly any money.

But off the top of my head, assuming you live in Beijing and are renting a room in an apartment with another expat -

Room & bills: 2500 yuan per month
Food: this can be as cheap as you want, depending on how "Chinese" you want to live. I exclusively eat Western food as I am terrified of Chinese food safety standards, so I spend about 200 yuan per day. You can drop this to around 20 yuan per day if you are happy to live like a local.
Other stuff: subway is 2 yuan. Booze is dirt cheap, but you pay more if you don't want to drink fake beer...

Basically you don't need a lot. Most people in China are poor. I live and socialise in one of the richest part of Beijing/China.

snakey1989

I see. yes im aware of the situation in Japan. Going to Japan is a dream of mine but well with my current situation it seems rather far off.

Well actually I went out of curiosity and looked up what it takes to get a Cert in TEFL to teach english. I can get an industry standard Cert [120 hour course] for as little as €320. Im half tempted to do it, just for the sake of having a cert under my belt, whether I need it or not out foreign :cool:

Ya, foodwise, well I eat high protein, high fiber food. If the food looks half alive, not a fear of me touching it haha.


I see, so a person can live comfortably as teacher.

Qualitymark

Forget faking qualifications. You don't want to put yourself into a position where your employers can threaten you with a Chinese jail. Just get some proper qualifications.
And if your Leaving Cert results were bad, maybe you're not suited to academic work - perhaps you should get some other kind of training?
Going to China or Japan is all very well in your twenties, but will you still be happy to live the life of a TEFL teacher (most of whom are students making a few quid for a year or two before settling down to "real life") when you're 40?

snakey1989

Qualitymark wrote: »

Forget faking qualifications. You don't want to put yourself into a position where your employers can threaten you with a Chinese jail. Just get some proper qualifications.
And if your Leaving Cert results were bad, maybe you're not suited to academic work - perhaps you should get some other kind of training?
Going to China or Japan is all very well in your twenties, but will you still be happy to live the life of a TEFL teacher (most of whom are students making a few quid for a year or two before settling down to "real life") when you're 40?

Well considering how long it takes to get qualified as a TEFL teacher its not worth my time faking it. I may is well just go for it.

You make a valid point. Living in Japan is my dream, that being said I wont let my dream cloud my judgement.

Im also aware in Japan that an english teacher is classed as a low job.

In my own opinion, as long as I can make a stable living with a decent pay packet, idont really care what people think.

So much has happened to me in the last 5 years alone, if you even knew half it if, you'd be surprised.


Right now im on the waiting list to do the medical for the army. 2 months b4 applying i fell and completely ripped most of the ligaments in my ankle. 2 months later I ran the mile and a half in 10 mins. 20 seconds. When im determined, i dont give up.

Qualitymark

snakey1989 wrote: »

Right now im on the waiting list to do the medical for the army. 2 months b4 applying i fell and completely ripped most of the ligaments in my ankle. 2 months later I ran the mile and a half in 10 mins. 20 seconds. When im determined, i dont give up.

Good spirit! We need that in Ireland, feck Japan!

It's not so much the status I'm thinking of as the fact that you go over, make friends, and gradually they grow up and go home (if foreign) into 'real' jobs, or (if local) become subsumed into the local society and you're the aged eternal student English teacher with the grey chest hair, working among people half your age.

the_syco

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

Well there is also a demand for English teachers in Japan, but Japan is a proper modern, civilised country so I wouldn't try the fake degree thing there. But it would probably work there too... :pac:

On that note, Japan has a program called the "JET Program" that you sign up for. The Japanese embassy give you stuff to learn, and when you learn it, you go to Japan and teach English.

snakey1989 wrote: »

I can get an industry standard Cert [120 hour course] for as little as €320

Make sure you research the "college" teaching you the TEFL course, as some are their own TEFL, and are worth sweet fúck all. I remember a boards deal, that when people looked into it, found that the cert wasn't recognized outside of Ireland.

snakey1989 wrote: »

Right now im on the waiting list to do the medical for the army. 2 months b4 applying i fell and completely ripped most of the ligaments in my ankle. 2 months later I ran the mile and a half in 10 mins. 20 seconds. When im determined, i dont give up.

Would you consider the BA? Read this thread that has links to other threads giving people info on joining the BA.

snakey1989

the_syco wrote: »

On that note, Japan has a program called the "JET Program" that you sign up for. The Japanese embassy give you stuff to learn, and when you learn it, you go to Japan and teach English.


Make sure you research the "college" teaching you the TEFL course, as some are their own TEFL, and are worth sweet fúck all. I remember a boards deal, that when people looked into it, found that the cert wasn't recognized outside of Ireland.


Would you consider the BA? Read this thread that has links to other threads giving people info on joining the BA.

I actually applied last year but failed the medical due to alcohol related medical problems. After failing. I turned myself around, I got fitter, got off the alcohol and even got a clean bill of health in only 7 months. I sent numerous letters to Enniskillen Barracks, which were ignored. being honest. I can walk perfectly and even run the mile and a half in 9 Minutes which considering I bust my ankle on st. Patricks day is a miracle. However whos to stay in 20 years my ankle will be ok?

I was thinking of doing the TEFL Cert through http://www.teflireland.com/

With regards to the JET program, as I mentioend in my OP I havnt attended college, there fore I dont have a BA in anything. The JET program requires that I have a BA. Tat being said im after emailing them would a TEFL Cert suffice.

Good spirit! We need that in Ireland, feck Japan!

It's not so much the status I'm thinking of as the fact that you go over, make friends, and gradually they grow up and go home (if foreign) into 'real' jobs, or (if local) become subsumed into the local society and you're the aged eternal student English teacher with the grey chest hair, working among people half your age.

Well, there are a lot of people who have gone to Japan, who have even attended College and went into english teaching who work in private schools and even have there own schools teaching english. I dont really mind as long as I get paid my dues and I can be happy.

Mr. Loverman

snakey1989 wrote: »

Well considering how long it takes to get qualified as a TEFL teacher its not worth my time faking it. I may is well just go for it.

You can't work in China or Japan without a degree. They don't care about TEFL qualifications.

You will never get caught/punished faking a degree in China. The people who say otherwise don't understand Chinese culture. Everything is fake in China.

freeze4real

loverman what exactly do you do in china ?

Mr. Loverman

freeze4real wrote: »

loverman what exactly do you do in china ?

Nothing. Just travel around China and Asia.

freeze4real

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

Nothing. Just travel around China and Asia.

How cheap is it over there ? will communication be a major problem if you cant speak chinese/japanese.

Qualitymark

freeze4real wrote: »

How cheap is it over there ? will communication be a major problem if you cant speak chinese/japanese.

In Japan, food is reasonably priced, fresh, local and delicious. Communication will be a major problem until you learn the language; apart from train stations and occasional signs, you're functionally illiterate there. If you hear a siren and shrieking through a loudspeaker you know it must be one of these:

a) "Get out get out get out get out get out get out get out there's a huge terrifying earthquake and tsunami coming and we're all going to die"

b) "Kill all the foreigners and join the Anti-Foreigner party"

c) "Get your tasty charcoal-baked sweet potatoes here".

panama

Mr. Loverman wrote: »

Nothing. Just travel around China and Asia.

In between trolling on boards.ie

Mr. Loverman

freeze4real wrote: »

How cheap is it over there ? will communication be a major problem if you cant speak chinese/japanese.

Regarding China:

You can live as cheaply or as expensively as you want.

I don't trust the food, etc., in China (too many ongoing scandals) so I generally only eat in restaurants owned by foreigners. This is more expensive but I'd rather play it safe then end up with cancer in a few years!

But if you want to live like a local, you will spend hardly any money.

Although my Chinese is good now, when I first got here I had little to no problems as I was based in Beijing. Beijing has signs in English everywhere, and in general if you use a mix of smiling and pointing and hand signs you can communicate your needs. The problems really only start if you have to do something by phone, but that's when you ask your Chinese friend to help you. They will be delighted to help you.

Shanghai is even more English friendly.

If you decide to move to a city with a small amount of ex-pats, very few people will speak English, but really, pointing and smiling works well. You can also always ask someone who looks like a student to help you - chances are they will have basic English.