"Man up"

LeeHoffmann

Is it ever acceptable to say ´man up´? I don´t like the phrase because imo it does suggest that the guy is not a ´real man´ and it enforces gender stereotypes. So I would never use it. However, sometimes people need to be told to buck up and stop being such a baby. e.g. (seeing as the conversation seems to have swung towards the ethics of crying), a person who cries at hearing bad news that doesn´t affect them at all needs to grow up.

I agree that people have different life experiences and different responses etc and I´d give people lee way to a degree, but I just can´t stand people who are so sheltered that they sob self-indulgently about things they will have forgotten about in a couple of hours. E.g. At funerals, you often see the family of the deceased doing their best to hold it together for somebody else who was closer to the deceased. There´s always some remotely-connected eejit who sees fit to bawl in front of the family. That person needs to be told imo

iptba

Heard Dr. Phil say "man up" to a man on RTE a couple of nights back.

I think I need to summarise to give it some context: It was about an episode where an adult (20s) daughter of a man hadn't talked to him in 4 years. Even when he had a very serious accident which has left him in a wheelchair (looks like permanently) she didn't visit him in hospital. She said she didn't want to talk to him ever again. She really hated him. He said he wanted to reconcile with her which was why he was on the show, although he said he had had second thoughts when he heard some of the things she was claiming happened which he said were lies.

She recalled one incident where she had a knife and he took it off her and he slapped her on the bottom three times with a wooden spoon, it broke, so he used some other implement. He didn't deny this but she had a knife. She claimed she had the knife as she was going to kill herself; he claimed she was threatened her brother with it. It wasn't resolved what was going to happen with the knife.

She said the last straw was when he didn't make her wedding cake well. It was made, but it was all white so somebody else had to decorate it with edible colored spray icing. It turned out that his brother had just been killed in a road accident that day and he was dealing with calls from his two sisters and "holding the family together". It was certainly an important omission on her part. He said he went from hero to zero in three months in her eyes when he had an affair and then broke up with her mother, and then three months later there was the wedding cake incident. She said before that he got father's day card(s) with loving things on it/them. He said he got on well with his other two sons seeing them several times a week.

Anyway, time was going on and there was no reconciliation. Dr Phil explained to the daughter that such hate might not be good for her personally and asked her to reflect. He then asked the father to reflect but included "man up" in this bit along with saying similar type things to him. I thought this was interesting the way "man up" was being used in an emotional context that wasn't really to do with anything masculine as such, just putting extra pressure on him. [I'm not saying he shouldn't have conceded some ground]

RDM_83 again

iptba wrote: »

Heard Dr. Phil say "man up" to a man on RTE a couple of nights back.

I think I need to summarise to give it some context: It was about an episode where an adult (20s) daughter of a man hadn't talked to him in 4 years. Even when he had a very serious accident which has left him in a wheelchair (looks like permanently) she didn't visit him in hospital. She said she didn't want to talk to him ever again. She really hated him. He said he wanted to reconcile with her which was why he was on the show, although he said he had had second thoughts when he heard some of the things she was claiming happened which he said were lies.

She recalled one incident where she had a knife and he took it off her and he slapped her on the bottom three times with a wooden spoon, it broke, so he used some other implement. He didn't deny this but she had a knife. She claimed she had the knife as she was going to kill herself; he claimed she was threatened her brother with it. It wasn't resolved what was going to happen with the knife.

She said the last straw was when he didn't make her wedding cake well. It was made, but it was all white so somebody else had to decorate it with edible colored spray icing. It turned out that his brother had just been killed in a road accident that day and he was dealing with calls from his two sisters and "holding the family together". It was certainly an important omission on her part. He said he went from hero to zero in three months in her eyes when he had an affair and then broke up with her mother, and then three months later there was the wedding cake incident. She said before that he got father's day card(s) with loving things on it/them. He said he got on well with his other two sons seeing them several times a week.

Anyway, time was going on and there was no reconciliation. Dr Phil explained to the daughter that such hate might not be good for her personally and asked her to reflect. He then asked the father to reflect but included "man up" in this bit along with saying similar type things to him. I thought this was interesting the way "man up" was being used in an emotional context that wasn't really to do with anything masculine as such, just putting extra pressure on him. [I'm not saying he shouldn't have conceded some ground]

In fairness Dr Phil is a pervy idiot also day time TV is aimed overwhelming at woman which might reflect his advice