Lion on the loose in Essex

Neil3030

Armed police were last night hunting for a lion believed to be on the loose in Essex. Residents were told to stay indoors after the beast was spotted in fields near Clacton.

Warning, this will link you to the Daily Mail

:eek:

Assuming it's not a cast-member from TOWIE, wandering home from Saturday night, looking a little worse for wear.

Colmustard

Essex, the lions life is in serious danger.

TeddyTedson

I wonder how many women it will shag before they catch it.

3ndahalfof6

a loose lion in essex who would of thought.

cruais

What does a lion say to his friends before going hunting for food?
Let us prey

HowAreWe

ah jaysus that's awful now

Colmustard

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

a loose lion in essex who would of thought.

Maybe the journo got it wrong and its really cougars are on the loose in Essex.

seven_eleven

Why do so many people read/post the daily mail here? There are dozens of other news sources with this story too.

B.A._Baracus

How does one "hunt" a lion in a city?
Pretty easy thing to spot dont ya think :pac:

IvySlayer

:eek:

Get your pets in if you live in Essex!

marshbaboon

Can't wait to read the headline tomorrow that links the lion to a terrorism plot.

dodderangler

A lion loose in Essex
Ah sure ITS THE ONLY WAY



See what I did there

IvySlayer

http://twitter.com/EssexLion

I love the internet.

Hope no-one gets injured or killed though

Ted!

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ..

In the jungle, the essex jungle, the lion sleeps around tonight.

Soups123

Hope they catch him before Chewsday

cruais

Ted! wrote: »

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ..

tIn the jungle, the essex jungle, the lion sleeps around tight.

Better be careful or he could catch feline aids!

Happyman42

Wouldn't be the only thing loose in Essex!

efb

IvySlayer wrote: »

http://twitter.com/EssexLion

I love the internet.

Hope no-one gets injured or killed though

the lion tweets tonight... lol

B.A._Baracus

Happyman42 wrote: »

Wouldn't be the only thing loose in Essex!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MqTUZ_MKJY

:pac:

brummytom

I give it an hour before the lion comes back with a fake tan and a mane-azzle

Wacker The Attacker

Jordans growler is on the loose

efb

brummytom wrote: »

I give it an hour before the lion comes back with a fake tan and a mane-azzle

it would need more than an hour to eat (out) Amy Chiles.

Shut up!

Colmustard

There are a load of cats loose in Britain. Loads of feral wild pigs as well. That is according to a C4 programme I seen years ago. I believe it as well, loads of witnesses and cats are usually nocturnal and masters at staying out of the way and stealth.

I don't know about a lion, big fukcers who usually don't care who sees them.

Wacker The Attacker

efb wrote: »

it would need more than an hour to eat (out) Amy Chiles.

Shut up!

A lion wouldnt munch her off

mauzo

Ted! wrote: »

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ..

In the jungle, the essex jungle, the lion sleeps around tonight.

Bahahahaha!!!!!!

Johro

HowAreWe wrote: »

ah jaysus that's awful now

Nah, 'it seemed to be enjoying itself'.
:pac:

Johro

brummytom wrote: »

I give it an hour before the lion comes back with a fake tan and a mane-azzle

Shu-up.

ballsymchugh

if it's looking to go clubbing, should try tiger tiger..

syklops

Soups123 wrote: »

Hope they catch him before Chewsday

Seriously???

mauzo

Soups123 wrote: »

Hope they catch him before Chewsday

I've been boozing all day, but that was sober funny

ejmaztec

Colmustard wrote: »

Maybe the journo got it wrong and its really cougars are on the loose in Essex.

Perhaps the journo's a lion bastard.

Wacker The Attacker

Essex.
This lion really is the king of the jungle

dodderangler

Sky news said they still have not yet found it
Leave him he might eat towie
I'm sure if he goes to the city he'll have whatevers LION around


Ffs someone stop me I've way too many bad puns left to say

MaxSteele

A lion on the loose in Essex is almost like a worthy cause you'd donate money to.

"For just three pounds a month, Simba could be that step even closer to devouring Michelle, 22. Hairdresser who enjoys blue wkd, tanning beds and X factor".

ITS_A_BADGER

LO fvcking L

"An Essex police spokeswoman said the force had not ruled out the possibility that the lion was from the circus"


where the fvck else does a lion come from???





*just thought of a zoo after posting

cruais

dodderangler wrote: »

Sky news said they still have not yet found it
Leave him he might eat towie
I'm sure if he goes to the city he'll have whatevers LION around


Ffs someone stop me I've way too many bad puns left to say

I know there's too many! Here's another one. I think we should all be a little simba-thetic towards the Essex crew.

Davidth88

BREAKING NEWS ::::: Massive Pussy, Orange Colour with Long Nails out and about on the Loose in Essex

CruelCoin

Yeesh,

Not as if there wasn't already enough loose pussy in essex already!

starbelgrade

There's been cougars on the loose in Essex for years now & it's never made the papers.

efb

Essex though? Has that lion no pride...?

Mr.Crinklewood

Gazza has just appeared with his fishing rod.

theteal

I'm on the 86 bus just now heading to Romford and actually got excited when I read the thread title but. . .Clacton is miles away

summerskin

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

How does one "hunt" a lion in a city?
Pretty easy thing to spot dont ya think :pac:

It's not in a city, it's in Essex, which is a county, and in a quite rural part of it. Plenty of hiding spots and food.

Father Damo

Did anyone else instantly think of this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5_EqGKvQvI

kstand

Father Damo wrote: »

Did anyone else instantly think of this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5_EqGKvQvI

Yep - sure did!

kstand

Davidth88 wrote: »

BREAKING NEWS ::::: Massive Pussy, Orange Colour with Long Nails out and about on the Loose in Essex

That narrows it down then. They'll have to send in the army.

snubbleste

Great comments from readers of the article:
A lion choosing to visit Essex for the bank holiday weekend..Has it no pride!!!
Searching for something with long, thick hair, an orange colour and long nails in Essex..Good luck with that one Mr Policeman.
My mother in law lives near there I hope for the lion's sake she's not out for her morning walk.

keano_afc

Police have just reported that after further investigation, the lion is actually a snow leopard with a spray tan and hair extensions.

DrumSteve

efb wrote: »

Essex though? Has that lion no pride...?

Well if it did, then there would be a few lions on the loose.

ollie1

How come no photos of the Lion have been released? people saying they took loads of photos but where are they?

Son Of A Vidic

ollie1 wrote: »

How come no photos of the Lion have been released? people saying they took loads of photos but where are they?

Here's a photo. It certainly does resemble a Lion, but it is actually related to the equine family.